“Thank you,” I murmur. Why am I so shy with him now? That night at the bar, I was confident. I knew exactly what I wanted, and that was him. I wasn’t shy. I didn’t hesitate.
And now I feel tongue-tied and hot.
Probably because now I know what he’s capable of.
“I’m coming to your study group tonight,” he says as he pops the earbuds out of his ears.
“Why?” I ask with surprise.
“I’m going to escort you home.”
“Oh, that’s so nice,” Kate says with a dreamy sigh, and I roll my eyes at her.
“That’s not necessary,” I reply. “I’ll be fine.”
“In case you missed it, there’s a killer out there, Lila,” Asher says, his handsome face perfectly serious now. His jaw is square and strong, and covered in just a little black stubble. His hair is a complete sweaty mess. He’s half naked.
He’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, and yet just those few words out of his mouth have my blood running cold.
“I’ll be there,” he repeats before I can say anything. He smiles again and winks at Kate, then pins me in his hot stare once more. “I need to get some beignets home to Casey.”
“Who’s Casey?” Kate asks before I can.
“My daughter.” He backs away, watching me, and I’m struck dumb. “I’ll see you tonight.” And with that, he saunters away.
“He has a daughter,” I say when he’s out of earshot.
“Sounds like it,” Kate replies with a nod.
“Holy fuck,” I whisper, suddenly mortified. “He’s married!”
“We don’t know that,” Kate says with a frown.
“Hello? He has a daughter.”
“So he said.”
“I had sex with a married man.” I swallow, mortified. “I’m a home wrecker.”
“Okay, stop.” Kate waves her hands in front of her, getting my attention. “He said he was taking beignets home to Casey. Not his family, or his wife, or to them. Just to her.”
“Maybe he didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
“Lila.” Kate pushes her fingers on her eyebrows, as if I’m giving her a headache. “He could be divorced. Widowed. Maybe he never married the mother. Maybe she left as soon as the baby was born.”
“Oh God.” I frown and immediately feel sorry for the little girl. I can see her in my head, a sweet brunette girl who looks just like her daddy, crying and pining for her mother who abandoned her as a baby. “Wait. I’m getting very dramatic here.”
“Yes.” Kate nods. “Stop it. He’s probably divorced.”
“Right.”
“And he’s clearly still interested in you,” she adds and sips the last of her coffee.
I shrug one shoulder, as if it doesn’t matter. “He has a kid.”
“So?”
“I don’t do kids,” I remind her. “I don’t want kids, and I certainly don’t get involved with men with kids.”
Because as much as that little voice in the back of my head tells me that having a child of my own would be the most amazing thing in the world, I just can’t take the chance that I would be as big a failure as my own parents were.
“Get over yourself,” Kate says as she rolls her eyes. “Stop focusing on what you won’t do. Because maybe you will.”
Right.
“Maybe not.”
“Such a Debbie Downer. Nobody wants to fuck a Debbie Downer.”
“I’m just being realistic. I’m responsible, remember?”
“You’re kind of a pain in the ass. He’s nice. He’s hot. Maybe you can just do the friends with benefits thing. No harm, no foul.”
“Oh. You could be onto something.”
Kate smiles smugly. “I’m a smart one.”
* * * *
He’s been wandering through the library for the past thirty minutes, waiting for me to finish with my group, and making it very hard to focus on my students.
And that kind of pisses me off.
If these kids are taking the time to be here, I need to be here.
“Okay guys, you’re doing great,” I say as they begin to filter out of the small study room that I have on reserve for us twice a week. “I’ll see you in class on Monday. And remember what I said! Be safe out there.”
“I so appreciate your help, Lila,” Colin says. This is the second semester in a row that he’s had to take this class. I hated having to fail him last semester, and I’m so happy that he’s doing better now. He’s a good kid. Friendly with the other students, happy-go-lucky. He’s small in stature, with a shaved head, smiling eyes, and always quick to make a joke.
We all enjoy him.
“You’re welcome,” I reply with a smile. “You’re doing so much better, Colin.”
“Well, as much as I like you, I’d rather not take the same class again.”
“I understand.”
“Thanks Lila.” Cheyenne, a pretty girl with short, bleach blonde hair says as she walks out. “See you Monday.”
“Travel in groups! It’s dangerous out there!”
“I’ll walk her to her car,” Colin offers with a wink and drapes his arm around Cheyenne’s shoulders. “You’re safe with me, cupcake.”
The students are all gone as I close my computer and put it in my bag, along with a pen and the scarf I had on earlier but had to take off when it got too warm. I flip off the light and close the door behind me as Asher approaches from across the library.