“But why homicide?”
“Someone has to stand for the dead, Lila.” He kisses my forehead again, tenderly, but I can feel the energy pumping through him. “Someone has to stand over them and take care of them. To get that closure for their families. To make sure that the animal who killed them pays for it.”
“But at what cost? Asher, what you see every day—”
“Makes me a better cop and a better man.” He rolls away, onto his own back, and I follow him, bracing myself on his chest, watching him pull his thoughts together. “I’ve seen the worst of humanity there is, Lila. And I’ve seen the best.”
“You are the best.”
He tilts his head and searches my gaze for a long moment. “Thank you.”
I shrug, suddenly embarrassed at speaking my thoughts out loud.
“Tell me something about you.”
I blink at him. “What about me?”
“Tell me something about your childhood.”
“You don’t want to know about my childhood, Asher.”
His eyes narrow. “Yes. I do.”
I bite my lip and watch him quietly, but he doesn’t insist. He just waits. And here, in the dark and in the quiet of this honest moment, I trust him.
“I didn’t know my mom.” His gaze snaps to mine in surprise.
“You were raised by your dad?”
I smirk. “If you can call it that. Mom left before I could crawl. I was a mistake and she didn’t want me.” Asher reaches up to tuck my hair behind my ear, but I flinch away.
I don’t want him to touch me while I tell him this.
“Dad was an alcoholic and enjoyed the occasional recreational drug.”
“Lila—”
“It could have been worse. And there were long stretches of time when he’d sober up and things would be relatively normal for a while. But inevitably, he’d fall off the bandwagon and I’d be left to fend for myself.”
“You should be so proud of yourself,” he says softly.
“I am,” I agree. “My life could have gone very badly had I not had Kate in my life, and a fierce stubbornness. I made my mind up early on that I wouldn’t end up like my father.”
“You’re amazing,” he says.
“I’m strong,” I reply.
“Okay, so back to the original statement. What are you confused about? Because I don’t think you’re confused about the sex we just had in light of the circumstances.”
“You’ve made me rethink things that I thought I believed,” I admit softly.
“Such as?”
I shake my head and am embarrassed to feel my eyes fill with tears.
“What is it, baby?”
“I’ve been very good at keeping my heart safe, Asher. I don’t long for children, because I don’t think that I’d be a good parent given what I come from. I don’t have one-night stands, but I also don’t think about being with anyone for the long term.”
His eyes flare, but he stays quiet, waiting for me to finish.
“But—” I swallow hard.
“But?”
“I enjoy you. I enjoy Casey.”
“We enjoy you too.”
I nod, ridiculously happy to hear those words.
“So, we’ll just enjoy each other,” he adds with an encouraging smile. “And see where it goes from there.”
He pulls me back into his arms and kisses my cheek, then my lips.
“We’ll just see where it goes,” I whisper, liking the sound of that but knowing that I’m quickly losing my heart to this amazing man and his daughter.
Chapter Six
~Asher~
“Wake up, sleepy head.” I climb onto the bed, steaming mug of coffee in hand, and lean over to kiss Lila’s forehead. I can’t seem to keep my hands—or my lips—off of her. And she doesn’t seem to mind.
“Want to,” she mumbles and frowns, her eyes still closed.
“Come on, Delila, wake up.”
She sniffs the air. “Do I smell coffee?”
“Yes.” I grin and climb off the bed, then saunter naked toward the bathroom. “It’ll be in the bathroom with me.”
“I don’t want it that bad!” she calls out.
Okay, so she’s not a morning person. She can’t be perfect.
“I’m naked,” I reply. “You have twenty seconds to get your sweet ass in the shower with me before I come haul you in myself.”
“Whatever, caveman,” I hear her mumble, and my heart stumbles with the immediate love I feel for her.
I haven’t felt this in…four years.
I recognize it. I’m in love with her. How it managed to happen so fast, I don’t know. And while I do recognize it, it feels different this time. Not better or worse, just different.
Because she’s not Missy. She’s Lila. I’m not replacing what I had, I’m adding to what I have now, and that feels pretty fucking good.
I start the water, set a condom inside the shower because I want to take her there this morning, sip the coffee, and grin when I feel her move up behind me, press her spectacular naked body against my back and a kiss to my shoulder.
“Good morning,” she whispers sweetly.
“Good morning.”
“May I please have some coffee now?”
I snort. “You don’t have to put on the sweet act, darlin’. I’ll share my coffee.”