Five’s good eye flicks briefly in our direction. He definitely heard us, but he can’t see us. Maybe there’s hope he’ll just write it off as noise from the Mogs outside. I want another go at the renegade Garde, too – one where he doesn’t sucker punch me into unconsciousness before the fight even starts – but we have to pick our battles. Facing off against Five in an enclosed space with a Mogadorian warship at our back is definitely not the battle we want. We’ll need to figure out another way to recover Eight’s body.
I pull at Marina’s arm, the icy pinpricks in my hand now replaced by full-on numbness, trying to communicate to her just how terrible an idea charging in would be. She tugs against me for a moment, but then I start to feel her calm down, which I can tell because my hand starts to warm up.
But as Marina slowly and quietly releases a deep breath, I see it mist in front of her, the air around her too cold. A cloud of breath from an invisible girl, floating in the bright lights of the hangar.
Five sees it, his eye narrowing. He stands up from his chair and looks right at the spot where we’re standing.
‘I didn’t mean to do it,’ he says.
12
I clench Marina’s and Nine’s hands, hoping that will be enough to keep them from saying anything back to Five and totally giving away our position. I’m not ready to lose our one advantage – invisibility – just yet. Thankfully, they both manage to control themselves, Five’s words hanging out there unanswered.
‘I know you won’t believe me,’ Five continues. ‘But no one was supposed to get killed.’
Five’s beseeching gaze is still aimed right at us, so slowly, quietly, I begin leading the others to the side. We move just inches at a time, careful of each other, not making any noise. Gradually, we slip out from under Five’s gaze, flanking him. Now, he’s staring at truly empty space, stupidly waiting for a response.
With a grunt, Five turns away. It’s like he was never talking to us at all. Instead, he starts speaking directly to Eight’s body.
‘You shouldn’t have done what you did, diving in front of Nine,’ Five lectures, his voice almost wistful. ‘It was heroic, I guess. I kinda admire you for it. But it wasn’t worth it. The Mogadorians are going to win anyway, you know? A levelheaded guy like you would’ve learned his place. You could’ve helped with the rebuilding and unification. Nine, though … he’s too brain-dead to know when he’s beat. He’s no good to anyone.’
I feel muscles tense in Nine’s arm, but for now he resists the urge to throw himself at Five. That’s good – he’s learning. Or maybe, like me, he’s stunned this is happening at all, Five just rambling away like this, pretending we’re not here.
Five puts his hand gently on Eight’s shoulder. The sleeve of his uniform rides up and I notice the leather sheath strapped to his arm, the one that holds the needle-shaped spring-loaded dagger that he used to kill our friend.
‘He told me –’ Five’s voice breaks a little as he continues addressing Eight. ‘He told me I’d have a chance to talk you guys into joining. No one would have to get hurt if you just accepted Mogadorian Progress. He kept his word before, I mean, I’m living proof, right? When the charm broke, he could’ve killed me, but he didn’t.’
Five must be talking about Setrákus Ra, about a deal he struck with the Mogadorian leader. He walks around the table, turning his back on us. Marina takes a step towards him, but I don’t let her go any farther. I don’t know why Five is talking so much, but he has to know we’re here. I’m not sure if this is a trap, if he’s baiting us, or what is going on. But I want to listen.
‘I didn’t expect you to be so brainwashed,’ Five says, standing over Eight, his hunched back presenting a perfect target. ‘Thinking about everything in black and white, heroes and villains.’
Five reaches down and lifts Eight’s pendant, squeezing the jewel in his fist. His Legacy – Externa, he called it, where his skin takes on the quality of whatever he touches – kicks in, Five’s skin briefly flashing the shimmering cobalt of Loralite. After a moment, he lets the pendant go with a sigh, and his flesh returns to normal.
‘But then, maybe I’m the brainwashed one, right? Isn’t that what you guys said to me?’ Five lets loose a low laugh, then reaches up to carefully adjust the gauze over his destroyed eye. ‘They fill your head with all this shit – the Elders, the Great Book. All these rules about who we’re supposed to be. But I don’t care about any of it. I’m just trying to survive.’
I feel Nine’s hand sweating in mine; he must be struggling to hold himself back from attacking. Marina, meanwhile, isn’t radiating the furious cold she was moments ago, probably because the scene unfolding before us is so misguided and pathetic. If Five’s speech – clearly for our benefit – has revealed anything, it’s that he’s pretty much lost his mind.
Five brushes a speck of something gently from Eight’s forehead, then shakes his head.
‘Anyway, the point is, I’m sorry, Eight,’ Five says, that know-it-all tone still in his voice but mixed with an undercurrent of sincerity. ‘I know it doesn’t mean anything. I’ll be a coward, a traitor, a murderer for the rest of my life. That won’t change. But I want you to know that I wish things could’ve turned out differently.’
Behind us, someone clears his throat. All of us were so wrapped up in Five’s unhinged monologue – Five included – that we didn’t notice the Mogadorian officer enter. He eyes Five warily, his posture stiff and formal. Looking at him, standing there like a soldier ready to deliver a report, it occurs to me that this Mogadorian might actually take orders from Five. If that’s the case, he seems way disgusted by it.