“Well, they’re pigs then. And why are you grinning at me?”
“Because you make me smile.”
I frown, leaning on the broom handle. “Why are you so calm? What do you know?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I just think you’re overreacting.”
“If you told a girl that you loved her—” He scoffs, but I ignore him and keep going. “And she didn’t say it back, didn’t say anything back, are you telling me that you wouldn’t feel like a jackass?”
“Look, all I’m saying is, maybe he didn’t hear you. Or, maybe it really just has been a bad day. There could be a million reasons why he had to cancel on you today. I mean, why do women always assume the worst?”
“Because we think about stuff,” I reply, as if he’s being an idiot. “This is important, Adam.”
“I get it.” He holds his hands up in surrender. “I’m just saying, you’re over thinking it, and this is exactly the reason that I don’t get involved with only one woman.”
“No, you get involved with every woman in the United States and hurt everyone’s feelings,” I snap, and then feel bad.
“Hey, they know the score,” Adam says in his own defense.
“Sorry.” My voice is soft, and now I’m pissed because I’m on the verge of tears. “I just didn’t want to make it weird. Maybe he’s just not in the same place as me, and that’s okay.”
“I’m going to tell you a secret about men, and you can’t tell anyone I told you because if you do, I could lose my man card. Men really aren’t that deep. We generally say what we mean, so when he said it’s been a tough day and something came up, that’s probably the truth. And if he didn’t say it back, he either didn’t hear you, or he thought you were talking about the sex. Or his mouth was busy.” He’s ticking items off on his fingers, his eyes pointed at the ceiling while he thinks.
“But you don’t think I made it weird.”
“I don’t think so, no.”
“Okay.” I take a deep breath and tighten my pony tail. “You just saved me from having to clean the bathroom.”
“I wouldn’t be mad if you cleaned it anyway.”
“You should clean it,” I reply and prop my hands on my hips.
“I don’t do bathrooms.”
“You need a maid.”
“I have you,” he says and smirks, knowing that I’ll beat the shit out of him for that remark. “I’ll just nudge Declan into pissing you off more often.”
“You are a jackass.”
“Yep.” He grins and walks toward his bedroom. “I’m gonna take a nap before work.”
“Okay.” He disappears and I empty the bucket, then put the cleaning supplies away and go to my own bedroom. A nap before work doesn’t sound too bad. Since I don’t get to see Declan this afternoon, I have time for one.
I lie down and sigh. Maybe Adam’s right and I’m just overreacting. Maybe he didn’t hear me. Did I whisper it? I try to remember, but all I know is that he was making me see stars with that amazing tongue of his.
It’ll be okay. I’ll see him tonight, and follow him home after he walks me to my car the way I always do, and things will go back to normal.
I hope.
***
It’s been a slow night at work. Weeknights usually are this time of year anyway. It’s hurricane season, and the weather is less predictable, so the tourist crowds slow down. We’ll get another rush around Christmas time, so for now we really depend on the weekends to get us through.
But that means that during the week I have too much time to think. I usually plan drink specials, but I’m eager to see Declan.
“Stop it,” Adam murmurs as he passes me on his way to the beer tap. “You’re doing the girl over-thinking thing.”
“I am not,” I lie and elbow him in the ribs. “You are not a mind reader, you know.”
“When it comes to women I am,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows.
“Ew.” I shiver. “TMI.”
Finally, the night comes to a close, but Declan hasn’t shown up. He usually gets here about a half hour before closing, but he’s not around when Adam leaves out the back, locking up on his way, and I go through the front.
I lock the door and turn to walk to my car and about jump out of my skin when I see Dec leaning against the building, the way he used to when we first reopened.
“You scared me!”
“Sorry,” he says with a grin. “I just got here, figured I’d wait outside.”
“You’re like a ninja.” I turn on the sidewalk and he falls into step beside me, but he doesn’t take my hand like he usually would. “So you had a bad day?”
“Yeah.” He nods, but doesn’t explain further, and we fall into an uneasy silence. He seems distracted.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Fine.”
I nod, the knot in my gut growing. I did screw up. I knew it. I hate this new tension. It’s never been here before, not once, even when we tried to do the just friends thing before, and the thought of that makes me nauseous, because if he suggests we go back to being friends, I won’t be able to do it. Not with Declan.
I’m just too in love with him.
Not touching him is killing me. Finally, unable to stand the silence any more, I blurt, “I cleaned today.”