She didn’t want him to be sad, though.
She wanted him to be happy.
The both of them.
But she had to wonder if maybe he could do more. Or maybe she had to do it herself. Maybe she was the one who had to be brave, to save herself.
Without even thinking, she started to lean in to kiss him, hoping she wouldn’t scare him. To her surprise, he leaned in, too, and the two of them met in the middle.
The joining of their lips didn’t set off an explosion of fireworks. There was no music announcing this was the starting point of their happily ever after. In fact, the light above them flickered off and there was nothing but darkness. But it couldn’t smother the light caused by the fire hidden deep inside each other’s hearts, a fire that could quite possibly burn forever if they chose to let it.
And it was a start.
To happiness.
To a life without monsters controlling them.
And really, that’s all both of them ever wanted.
Not a happily ever after.
Just a happy after.
I’m not sure how long I stare at the screen, deciding if that’s it, but I’m pretty sure it’s at least it for an hour. After the hour’s up, though, I decide I’m happy with it and save it in my portfolio file. Then I lean over to put my computer aside on the floor, not wanting to get out of bed and out from beneath the covers. The room is dark, the only light coming through the window of the door where I can see the moon up in the sky.
‘I forgot to give you your present,’ Kayden says so abruptly I let out a blood-curdling scream.
‘Oh my God, you scared me.’ I catch my breath through his hysterical laughing. ‘I thought you were asleep.’
‘No, I’ve been awake.’ He stifles his laughter and sits up, reaching for his duffel bag that’s beside the bed.
‘This entire time?’
He unzips the bag. ‘Yeah, I was watching you write.’
‘That sounds super boring.’ I lie down in the bed and turn on my side to face him.
‘Actually, it was super entertaining.’ He grabs something from his bag, flips on a lamp nearby, and then turns to me. There’s a small, silver box in his hand and a sparkle in his eyes. ‘Merry Christmas.’ He gives me the box as he lies back down beside me.
I wait a moment or two, trying not to think too hard about what’s in it. Finally, I just open it.
Then I stop breathing.
‘Oh my God, you didn’t have to do this …’ I whisper in awe.
‘I know I didn’t,’ Kayden says, watching me with a smile on his face, ‘but I wanted to.’
Inside the box is probably one of the coolest necklaces I’ve seen. It’s in no way traditional, which makes me love it even more. The silver pendant is shaped like a book, and when I pick it up, I noticed it’s engraved on the front with By Callie Lawrence. It also opens up like a locket but the inside is blank, like fresh pages ready to be stained with a story.
‘Do you like it?’ he finally asks and I realize that beneath his grin, he’s waiting for my approval.
‘It’s perfect,’ I say then lean over to kiss him.
‘Good,’ he says between kisses. ‘I’m glad you like it. It’s for when you write your story. To show I believe in you.’
I almost start crying right there. ‘I love it.’ I put the necklace on, promising to never take it off. Then I lie down and snuggle against him beneath the covers, feeling more content than I ever have.
I’m about to fall asleep when he asks, ‘Can I read it now?’
My eyelids lift open. ‘Read what?’
‘Your story,’ he says with a lopsided grin as he stares down at me expectantly. ‘I saw you type “The End.”’
I suddenly get nervous and my palms get so sweaty I have to wipe them off on the front of my shirt. ‘You want to read it right now?’
He nods enthusiastically. ‘I do.’
‘Um … okay.’ I turn over and reach for my laptop, feeling even more anxious. I hope he likes it, hope he understands it, because really, he’s half the story.
And one of the most important parts.
He tells me I can go to sleep while he reads it, but there’s no way I can shut my eyes. So I end up lying there, staring at all the patches in the ceiling until he finishes. I know the exact moment he does because I can hear his breathing quicken. Then he sets the laptop aside and rolls over to me. He just stares at me and I can’t read him at all.
‘So what’d you think?’ I ask, aiming for indifferent but ending up sounding like a bundle of nerves.
He’s silent for forever, each second passing almost painfully slow. ‘I think it’s beautiful and meaningful and real,’ he finally says, his tone radiating every emotion he’s feeling. ‘Although, I’m pretty sure ours gets a happily ever after.’
‘You think so?’ I ask with a soft smile. ‘Because that’s a big promise.’
His smile reflects mine. ‘No, I know so.’
And then he kisses me.
But this isn’t the end of our story just yet.
In fact, it kind of feels like the beginning.
Chapter 27
#103 Outrun Leave Your Inner Demons Behind and Find Your Love for the Game.
Kayden
It’s the last game of the season and I’m feeling pretty good. Things have been amazing with Callie and I’ve been focusing on the future instead of the past. It’s been that way for the last month, ever since I said my goodbye. I’m not happy all the time, though, but then again no one ever is. I still feel the slightest bit of guilt and sadness whenever I think of my father and how it all ended, but that happens very rarely.
What almost always happens is that I’m happy, not just with Callie and mine’s relationship, but with myself. It took me forever to get to this place, to let go, but I’ve managed to find my own form of inner peace with all that happened to me. And I can honestly say that my life is great at the moment.
Right now, I’m f**king amped up, though, as I get ready to make the last play of the game. If we don’t make it, we lose, but I’m not betting on us losing, In fact, I can feel it in the air, in the hollers of the crowd, in the lights that are so f**king bright it’s blinding. From the f**king way that I’m loving every minute of this.
My team is lined up and I’m hunched over, waiting for the snap. My heart is thudding, my skin damp with sweat, my feet ready. And my mind …
Is silent.
I hear everything. From the sound of the footsteps, to my coach shouting something on the sidelines. I can also hear my own voice.
You can do it.
I know I can.
My heart slams against my chest as the ball is snapped in my directions. My fingers perfectly wrap around it and then I’m running back, looking for the perfect throw. But then I realize there’s no perfect through, but a close one. So I spring my arm back and let the ball slip from my fingers and soar away.
I let it all soar away as I breathe freely for the first time, waiting for it to happen.
The ball climbs higher and so does my pulse. I swear the crowd is holding their breaths, but maybe that’s because I’m holding mine as I watch the ball reach its peak and then drop.
It drops.
And drops.
And drops.
Then it lands perfectly in the receiver’s hands.
Perfect.
Touchdown!
The crowd starts cheering and so do my teammates as we win the game. And this time I join them, cheering and happy as I look up at the crowd where I know Callie is watching me with pride. But only part of my celebration is because I kicked ass and played my heart out. The other part is because I’ve finally left my inner demons behind and found my love for the game.
Epilogue
A little over a year later …
#595 Make You Happy After Official (because it’s about damn time)
Callie
Life is great. Not perfect, but life never is. But perfection would be boring anyway. For the most part, things are good, though. Kayden and I are still living together, and plan to stay that way for a while. Our walls are covered in photos of us as a couple, with family, with friends. It shows how whole our lives are and how far we’ve both come.
There’s been a lot of talk about him getting drafted next year, though, and we did have the talk even though it’s early. It only took us like two minutes of him laying out all the reasons why he needs me to come with him if he leaves Laramie, and it took me like half a second to sputter that I’d follow him anywhere, that I can write anywhere since that’s what I’ve been doing and plan to keep doing. That a life without him would be a sad life I never want to have.
We have a little routine now where we alternate holidays between my parents’ house and his brother’s in Virginia. I got to meet a sober Tyler about six months ago and that was nice. And Kayden hasn’t cut himself in just over a year. The sadness in his eyes is gone, except for on occasion, like when he gets a random call from his mother. He never answers her, though, or calls her back, and her voicemails are anything but persuading.
But other than the occasional sadness and silly fights, Kayden and I are going strong. He tells me every day that he loves me and I tell him every day how important he is to me. Our happy after is working quite well for us and seems to only get better in time. It makes me excited for what the future holds – our future. Makes me excited that we have a future.
‘Writing again, I see,’ Seth interrupts my thoughts as he strolls into my living room without even knocking. He doesn’t bother to shut the door either, even though it’s freezing outside and a light gust of snow blows in.
‘What if I hadn’t been dressed?’ I joke, closing my journal. It’s filled with so many pages of my pen that ink is seriously starting to stain the edges.
He rolls his eyes. ‘Yeah, right. You would never be na**d in your living room.’ He pauses then gets this scandalous look on his face. ‘I, on the other hand, make it a daily ritual.’
Now I’m the one rolling my eyes. ‘Oh, whatever.’ I toss the journal on the coffee table as I get to my feet. ‘So are you going to shut the door or are you trying to add to my heating bill?’ I grin at him.
He shakes his head, but is amused. ‘Actually, it’s time to go to the game.’
My forehead creases as I glance at the time on my phone. ‘But it’s super early.’ Like hours early.
‘I know,’ he says, picking up my coat from the armrest and tossing it to me, ‘but I was instructed to take you there early.’
‘By who?’ I ask as I slip my arms through the sleeves of my coat and zip it up.
‘It’s a secret.’ Then he winks at me and heads out the door, leaving me utterly confused.
I follow him outside, locking the door before I trot down the stairs behind him. There’s a light frost on the ground and the air is nipping, but the sun is shining and the reflection of it against the snow makes everything sparkle. I can’t help but breathe in the magicalness of the air before getting into the car.
Seth’s grinning by the time I shut the door as he starts up the engine and then backs out.
‘You’re acting weird,’ I tell him as I buckle my seatbelt. ‘What’s up?’
He shrugs as he turns the steering wheel and we head toward the street. ‘Nothing.’
I know Seth enough to know that he’s lying. ‘You’re so full of it. What’s going on …? Why are you taking me early?’
‘It’s a surprise,’ he says, pulling out onto the street.
‘Please, pretty please, tell me,’ I beg with my hands clasped in front of me.
He shakes his head. ‘No way. Not this time.’
‘I won’t tell anyone.’
‘It doesn’t matter, Callie. I’d be mad at myself if I ruined this one for you.’
I pout as I slump back in the seat. ‘Oh, fine. I’ll play along.’ I fiddle with the stereo until I find a good song then I try to relax, but as we pass by a bookstore something dawns on me.
‘Oh, crap.’ I put a hand to the base of my neck. ‘I forgot my necklace.’ It’s the one Kayden gave me for Christmas that has a book pendant with my name on it.
‘You’ll be fine for one game, Callie,’ Seth brushes me off.
‘No way. We have to go back. It brings him good luck whenever I wear it.’
Seth chuckles as he turns off the main road toward the shiny, steel stadium. ‘You two and your superstition.’
‘It’s not a superstition,’ I say, which isn’t quite the truth, but Kayden says that whenever I wear it, it brings him good luck when he plays. Growing up with a father for a football coach, I know enough to tolerate these superstitions.
‘Relax, Callie,’ Seth tells me as he parks the car near the entrance of the stadium. ‘I have your necklace.’
‘Why do you have it?’ I wonder.
There’s a pause and I feel the shift in the air. Something’s happening. Something important.
Seth looks like he’s about to cry as he reaches over, takes my hand, turns it palm up, and drops the necklace into it. ‘Don’t look at it until you get into the stadium.’ He closes my fingers around it then sits back in his seat. ‘Now go.’
I glance down at my hand and then to the stadium, knowing without really knowing that something magical is about to happen. Unable to form words, I get out of the car and make my journey toward the stadium with the necklace clutched in my hand. The security asks my name then lets me through when I tell him.
I walk down the tunnel and onto the field, smiling when I remember the night Kayden took me here over two years ago to play catch. And to make out pressed up against the field post. It seems smaller this time, though, less overwhelming. Honestly, I feel like I kind of belong here.