‘That’s because I was terrified. I had to run to the bathroom to empty out my stomach,’ I explain. When he starts to say something, I add, ‘I didn’t bring you here to talk about my past problems. I’ve done enough of that to last me a lifetime.’ I reach across the table and place my hand over his. ‘I brought you here to show you this.’ I nod at my hand on his. ‘This is possible because of you.’
He shakes his head. ‘No, this is possible because you’re strong. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, Callie. I swear to God, I don’t know how you do it.’
‘I do it because I have good people in my life that make everything worth it.’
He sighs, disheartened. ‘You’re always glowing with positivity. I wish I could be like that.’
‘Yeah, now I am. But if you had talked to me before college, you wouldn’t have thought so. I was weak back then.’
His hand begins to tremble beneath mine. ‘That’s not true. Remember that night … that night you stepped in when,’ he lowers his voice, ‘when my father was beating me. It takes a shitload of strength to do that.’
‘And it takes a shitload of strength to survive that,’ I press, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. ‘And to tell someone about it. Like you did.’
He grits his teeth. ‘Eventually, but I put you through hell until I did.’
‘It took me forever with Caleb.’ My pressing tone meets his. ‘It took me almost seven years to tell anyone. And you didn’t put me through hell.’
He doesn’t know what to say. Kayden has always been great at trying to give me confidence, but being on the receiving end of the line has always been a struggle for him. In high school, I would have never believed it. Gorgeous star quarterback dating the most popular girl in school, I thought he radiated self-worth. Boy, was I wrong.
‘I wish things could have been different for you,’ he utters softly, tracing my knuckles with his thumb. ‘I wish you could have been happy all of your life.’
‘Yeah, it would have been nice,’ I agree. ‘I know it might sound crazy – and trust me, I wish more than anything I never knew Caleb – but the thing is, what happened to me did happen and I can’t change it, so there’s no use letting it ruin my life. I don’t need to give Caleb that kind of power over me anymore. And besides, I might not be here with you if my life took another path, so I can look at the bad as something I had to go through to get to the good. You are my good, no matter what you want to believe. I’m sitting here, happier than I’ve ever been, because of you. You are my happiness.’
His gaze is flickering from my eyes to my mouth … from my eyes to my mouth … eyes … mouth. ‘Can I kiss you right now?’ he whispers when he’s solely fixated on my lips. ‘I really need to kiss you.’
I nod eagerly. ‘Yes, please.’
He leans over the table and I meet him halfway, smashing my lips to his and willingly sinking into a passionate kiss right there in public. We don’t come up for air until the waitress interrupts us to take our orders. Once she’s gone, Kayden stares at me from across the table with a contemplative look on his face.
‘What?’ I touch my face self-consciously. ‘Do I have something on my face? I am, after all, wearing enough lipstick to paint a clown’s face.’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s nothing.’ He extends his hand toward me and rests his hand on the side of my face. ‘Listening to you talk, the things you say, the way you look at life, you always make me feel better when I’m down. You’re amazing.’
‘So are you.’ I relax into his touch. ‘We make the perfect couple.’
He swallows hard and I think he’s going to go back to his self-doubt about his worth, so he shocks me when he says, ‘I think I want to … I want to live with you … You and me together.’ He pauses then shakes his head determinedly. ‘No. Scratch that. I know I do.’
My heart pitter-patters inside my chest. I don’t want to get too excited, but I am. ‘Are you sure? Because I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. I can wait.’
The corners of his mouth tip upward, his expression full of warmth. ‘I’ve never been more positive about anything in my life than I am about you. I don’t ever want to lose you … I just want to make sure you’re happy.’
‘I am happy. I promise.’
‘And I want to move in with you. I promise.’
Unable to control my excitement any longer, I grin like a big goof. He grins back at me, a genuine smile, too. And we remain that way, smiling like two silly, lovestruck college kids until the waitress strolls up with our drinks and food and gives us a questioning look, probably thinking the goofy, elated expressions we have are because we’re high.
After she sets our plates and drinks down in front of us, Kayden scoops up his burger and takes a large bite. ‘So is this our last stop for the night? Or is there more?’
I pick up a handful of fries. ‘What do you think?’
‘I think that considering the path you’re following, there’s still more.’ He opens his mouth and takes another massive bite of his burger, appearing so much more relaxed than he did twenty minutes ago. It makes me want to keep going down this path.
‘So, if you had to guess the next place, where do you think it would be?’ I pluck the onion off my burger as I wait for his answer, wondering if he’s cracked the code of my path.
‘You think I don’t know,’ he says amusedly, ‘but I do.’
I shrug, equally amused. ‘I’m curious if you remember.’
His brow arches. ‘And what do I win if I get it right?’
‘Whatever you want,’ I tease then take a bite of my burger.
He seems pleased, a big grin plastered on his face. ‘Prepare to lose, then.’ He reaches across the table to wipe some mayo off my lip. ‘Races, spray paint, and green footprints.’
He doesn’t have to say exactly where it is – we both know what those words mean. Such a simple night, at least to an outsider’s point of view, but to me it was one of the most magical, life-changing nights of my life.
Chapter 11
#149 Channel Your Inner Daredevil.
Callie
Thirty minutes later, we’re entering a store we went to right before we tagged a rock at a very famous tagging area, and right after Kayden and I first danced over a year ago. I was a little buzzed that night and felt so free hanging out with Kayden, Seth, and Luke because it was the first time I felt like I had friends.
The store is still the same, a little rundown and sells cheap stuff for cheap prices. We instantly make our way to the aisle where I once stepped on a can of green spray paint and got it all over the floor. It was during a sort of wrestling match between Kayden and I after Luke had turned the night into a game.
‘Holy shit. I can’t believe you can still see it?’ Kayden says as we both stare at the faint green shoeprint staining the dingy linoleum floor.
I slap my hand over my mouth as a giggle escapes. ‘I should feel bad, right?’
Kayden shakes his head as I move my foot over the print – the perfect fit. ‘No way. If anything, you should feel proud. You marked that night forever.’
‘Well, as long as this store exists, but it was definitely a night to be marked.’ I pause and then decide to admit the truth. ‘You know, when we were in the cab by ourselves, I kind of wanted you to kiss me. Although, I probably would have freaked out, so maybe it’s a good thing you didn’t. I don’t think I was quite ready for it yet.’
As he processes my words, he steps toward me, our bodies just inches away from one another. ‘I wanted to kiss you that night, but was afraid.’
I inch toward him, stealing what little space there is remaining between us. ‘Of what?’
‘That I would like it, that it would be wrong because I had a girlfriend, that I wasn’t good enough for you.’ He wets his lips with his tongue, his attention fixed on my lips. ‘Should we have a do-over?’
I nod enthusiastically and without any hesitation, his mouth collides with mine so forcefully I wonder if the impact will leave a bruise. But I don’t care. Let me bruise. All I can concentrate on now is his tongue parting my lips as he consumes me. The force sends me backward and I slam into the shelf behind me, another bruise perhaps, but again, it doesn’t matter. I don’t plan on breaking this kiss for anything.
But the shelf is lined with cans of spray paint and when we ram into it, a row of them tip over and fall onto the floor, making a lot of noise.
I sputter a laugh as we break the kiss and stare down at the mess we just made. ‘Holy crap,’ I say. ‘We’re cursed.’
‘No way,’ he breathes, his palms splayed on my back beneath my shirt. ‘It’s destiny, letting us have a second chance at the night I should have kissed you.’
His words sweep me away from reality and I grab the front of his shirt to pull him in for another kiss. Right as our lips reunite, someone yells, ‘What the hell is going on?’
Our heads snap in the direction the voice came from. At the end of the aisle, the clerk is there, red-faced and angry as he stares at the mess we just made. He’s about thirty or so, with shoulder-length hair, and wearing a name tag on his tie dye shirt that says Ed.
‘We’ll clean it up,’ I say, but Ed comes storming toward us.
‘I’m so sick of you little shits coming in here and thinking it’s funny to trash my store.’ As Ed strides toward us, he presses his finger to his chest as he repeats, ‘My store. Not yours. Mine. I’m going to make you pay for every damn one of those spray paint cans.’
I’m not sure what to do. The guy has this creepy look on his face like he’s out of his mind and it’s frightening but funny at the same time. A nervous laugh leaves my lips as Kayden grabs my hand and tugs me with him as he takes off in the other direction.
The clerk shouts at us to, ‘Get your punk asses back here now!’ but that only makes us move faster and laugh harder.
We don’t stop until we’re safely in the car and driving down the road toward the mountains, the headlights of Kayden’s car lighting the way. I’m still the driver, despite Kayden’s protests, because I want to be the one taking him on this journey.
‘So where are you taking me now?’ he asks as we head up toward the foothills.
‘You don’t know?’ I ask, wondering if he’s serious. Considering the direction we’re going in, it has to be obvious. And besides, we’ve had a few good moments up at this place, which makes it a super important part of our past.
He glances at me with a devious look on his face as he lifts his hand. ‘Actually, I do.’ In his hand, is a can of spray paint, which means he knew where we were going before we even got in the car. I’d be happy about this, and I am, except … ‘Did you shoplift that can of paint?’
‘The guy was a stoned ass**le; I couldn’t very well pay for it with him about ready to attack us,’ he says, and when I sigh, he laughs. ‘Relax, Callie. I threw a few bucks down on the floor before we left.’ He draws a line down my cheekbone with his fingertip, eliciting an eye flutter from me. ‘I know you’re too nice to condone shoplifting.’
‘Hey, I can be a rebel,’ I say, half joking, half serious. ‘I’ve drank underage.’
He chuckles at my lame statement. ‘You’re so adorable.’
Gripping onto the wheel with one hand, I aim a finger at him. ‘Hey, mister, I am not always adorable. And I’m going to prove it to you.’ I am?
That gets him to smile, which makes me smile, too, even though I have no clue how to back up my words. Still, I rack my brain for a way to show him the daredevil side of me that I’m not sure I’ve discovered yet.
The idea only comes to me when I pull up to the parking spot at the bottom of the hill. I remember Seth always making jokes about how people would come up here and have sex. I used to blush like crazy when he’d joke about it and then told me Greyson and him came up here once.
I’m not even sure I can go through with it. Yeah, I’m a different person than I used to be. Much stronger and blush less. Plus, there’s no one else up here tonight, so we’ve got the whole place to ourselves.
‘What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?’ Kayden asks, interrupting my dazedness.
I tear my attention from the trees in front of the car and turn in my seat to face him. The headlights are still on and between that and the moonlight I can make out his firm jawline, soft lips, and wonderfully familiar eyes.
‘Callie.’ He starts to squirm under the weight of my gaze. ‘What’s going on? Is something wrong?’
Shaking my head, I swallow my nerves and click the headlights off. We’re smothered by darkness, which makes it easier to do what I’m about to. Or maybe it’s the costume making me feel like someone else, someone who can take risks, be a daredevil. I really don’t care where the feeling’s coming from; I just do what Seth’s always saying and roll with it, leaning over the console and kissing Kayden without any warning. He sucks in a sharp breath as my lips brush his and then he laughs softly when my tongue sweeps across his lip, signaling that I want him to open up.
‘I feel like you’re about ready to show me just how unadorable you are,’ he says in this low, husky voice that sends a thrill through me.
‘You’re completely right,’ I tell him as I tug off my boots then climb over the console and onto his lap. I put a knee on each side of him then crash my lips against his. This time he opens right up, sucking my tongue into his mouth and kissing me back with equal intensity. He nips at my bottom lip as he wraps his fingers around the back of my head and guides me closer, until there’s no room left between our bodies.