“Why do you look nervous?” she wonders as she rolls her window down the rest of the way.
I shrug. “Because of what we’re doing… gambling… being here with my dad’s brother….” Almost unaware, I stretch my arm across the seat behind her as my chest clenches up. “And because of the environment we’re going to be in.”
She gives me a look of sympathy, because she knows about my rocky relationship with my dad—she even walked in while I was freaking out during a phone conversation with him. “And I’m guessing by the wary look on your face that you’re going to be playing at places like Geraldson’s?” she asks.
“More or less.” I dither. “And the place I’m staying at is kind of like Geraldson’s too, at least it was a couple of years ago.”
“That seems kind of dangerous.” A strange look crosses her face as if realizing this makes her interested in something, as if the idea of it being dangerous is almost… turning her on or exciting her. Dammit. It’s like we’re back on the ledge again and I’m starting to wonder just how much she does this, puts herself in these kinds of situations on purpose and why I never noticed it before. Or maybe she didn’t do it when we were first together.
“It’s not that dangerous at his house,” I assure her, but it feels like a lie. A gambler, my uncle Cole cheats his way through life. But desperate times call for desperate measures or whatever and he seemed nice enough the last time I visited here.
“Here, let me drive,” I tell Violet, giving her a gentle nudge in the side. “It’s easier than giving you directions.”
We change spots, her climbing over my lap and sending my body into a mad frenzy of need and desire and giving my c**k a hard on. But I keep it together and drive down the road, first to the store so she can get a battery for her phone. Then we head to my uncle’s house that’s on the outskirts of town, not so much in the chaos of the city filled with tourists, flashing neon lights, half-dressed people. The windows of the truck are down, hot air swirling through the cab. Eventually Violet takes her beanie off and fans her face with her hand.
“Holy hell, it’s hot here,” she remarks, reaching to get her sunglasses out of her purse.
“It gets way worse in the summer,” I tell her as I turn off the road onto a side road lined with stucco houses that look the same, yards flourishing with green grass, neighbors outside chatting and smiling, the perfect neighborhood.
“I’m so confused,” Violet says as she slips on her sunglasses and takes in the surroundings. “Why are we in the burbs?”
“My uncle lives here,” I explain, pulling in front of the two-story house at the end of the street of the cul-de-sac. I put the truck in park, then push the brake on before turning off the engine and putting the keys into my pocket.
“This is so weird,” Violet says with a pucker at her brow. “And not what I was expecting.”
I open the door to get out. “This is his normal side of life, well kind of. I’m guessing it won’t be that way when we get inside.”
Hesitantly, she gets out of the truck and follows me up the driveway, glancing around at the flowerbed beside the pathway, the polished landscaping, all covering up what’s behind the front door.
“Welcome home?” She looks even more puzzled as she reads the mat in front of the door. She lifts her sunglasses slightly and gives me a suspicious look. “You know, I’m starting to not buy into this—”
The door swings open and someone lets out a quick chuckle. “Holy shit,” my Uncle Cole says from in the doorway. He’s wearing a t-shirt, black cargo shorts, and no shoes. He looks similar to my dad only he’s in his thirties, ten years younger than my dad, and he’s more rougher with tattoos, gauges in his ears and shaggy hair. “I thought you’d get here a hell of a lot later when you called to say you were on the road.”
“We were already halfway here,” I explain apologetically. “Sorry I forgot to mention that.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” he says, his gaze flickering in Violet’s direction. “I never did like how little we saw of you anyway, thanks to that crazy ass mother of yours keeping you away.”
A ripple of anger shoots up my back, not toward him, but toward the mention of my mother. But Violet winces too, so I shove the feeling down and rush to sidetrack the conversation.
“This is Violet by the way,” I say nodding my head at her. “Violet, this is my Uncle Cole.”
“Is this your girlfriend?” he questions with an arch of his brows as he slants against the doorframe with his arms folded across his cheat. The last time he met me, I’d made it pretty clear how I felt about women and that I’d never actually had one as a girlfriend, only f**ked them. So showing up with Violet is confusing him. Plus, he’s not the most trusting person to strangers, considering what he does for a living.
“Just a friend,” Violet tells him, being very blasé about the whole thing. That stings, even though I already knew it was true. “And his partner in crime.”
He seems amused by her, which I don’t blame him for—she can be very charming when she wants to be. With a faint smile, Cole stands up straight and sticks out his fist. “Well, it’s a pleasure Violet, aka Luke’s partner in crime.”
“Likewise.” She pounds fists with him, then my uncle steps aside and motions for us to come inside. It’s cooler on the inside—thank God—the fans going, air conditioning blasting and circulating the cigarette smoke lacing the air. The curtains are all drawn shut too, so hardly any sunlight can get in. There’s some music playing in the kitchen and I can hear some voices, which means he has company. And probably not the family kind.
“I have some people over,” Cole tells us as he leads the way through the foyer and into the kitchen, kicking a bag to the side that’s blocking the doorway. “And my son’s staying with me for a while. You remember Ryler, right?”
I nod, but honestly I don’t really remember him that well. I think I met the guy once when I was staying here and all I can recollect is that he’s around my age (my uncle knocked up a girl when he was sixteen and pretty much bailed on his family until recently—guess it’s a family thing) and that he doesn’t speak. The details why he’s mute where never divulge clearly, other than there was some kind of incident when he was about eight.
“He turned into one hell of a card player,” my uncle comments, all proud papa, as we step into the small kitchen area filled with smoke from the four guys sitting around the table, puffing on cigarettes. The sound of chips clinking together, the taste of nicotine in the air, the alcohol in the cups, the intensity surrounding the table gets my pulse soaring like an drug addict eyeing crack.
“Ryler,” he shouts at one of the guys over the music then walks over to an iPod in a dock and turns it off. “Your cousin Luke’s here.” He points a finger at Violet and me.
A guy around my age glances up from his cards and then takes a sip of his drink. He looks just as intense as when I saw him almost two years ago. Jeans with holes in them, eyebrow and lip piercings, a sleeve of skulls and crosses on his arms. His hair is jet black and it looks like he’s wearing black eyeliner, but I don’t think he is—his eyes just look that way. And he’s wearing an I’ve-been-through-tough-shit expression.
He gives me a chin nod before his gaze drifts to Violet then he turns to his uncle and signs something.
“Is he deaf?” Violet asks in a low voice as she steps up beside me.
I shake my head as Ryler glances over at Violet, clearly hearing her, and my uncle chimes in. “No, he just can’t speak,” he tells Violet. “But his hearing works just fine.”
Violet doesn’t ask questions, which isn’t surprising, but what she does next shocks the shit out of me. She lifts up her hand and makes these movements with her hand, clearly signing something to Ryler.
This makes him smile, the darkness in his expression briefly lights up as he signs something back, causing Violet to laugh softly then shrug.
“I don’t know everything,” she says to him. “But some.”
I want to ask her how she knows sign language but Violet has had a very different upbringing from most, living with God knows how many families so I’m guessing she picked it up somewhere along the line. What I don’t like though is how Ryler is looking at Violet, like how I used to look at women when they showed up at games, with the intention of getting them on my lap and getting inside them later.
“This is Violet,” I say, not even sure if they made introduction already. I casually put my hand on her back, hoping she doesn’t shove me away, so uncomfortable in my own skin it’s making me fidgety. I want to add, ‘my girlfriend,” but that would probably result in me getting kicked in the balls from Violet.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ryler,” Violet says and I relax at the lack of interest in her tone. She’s just being friendly.
Ryler signs something to his dad and my uncle replies, “Actually we’re going to take Luke down to The Warehouse tonight.” He goes over to the fridge, gets three beers out, and offers Violet and I one.
I oblige because I’m never one to turn down a drink, but I’m shocked when Violet takes the drink she’s offered. She was also drinking at Geraldson’s and it has be worried that maybe she’s starting to get into the habit, but mentioning it would be like the pot calling the kettle black, so I keep my lips shut, wondering how long the avoidance between us can go on.
Violet
His cousin Ryler was totally eye f**king me in the kitchen but I have no interest in him. The guy’s hot and everything, in a gothic kind of way. Tattoos covering his arms, piercings, black hair that hangs in his eyes, and his eyelashes are so thick it almost looks like he’s wearing eyeliner. But the last thing I need is some random hookup where I feel like crap afterward. Not to mention the drama that would come between Luke and I. And I hate soap opera drama.
Then I found out he’s mute and I couldn’t help myself. As much as I love keeping my past to myself, I couldn’t help but use what little sign language I picked up when I stayed with one of the somewhat normal families who had a son that was deaf. During the four months that I stayed with him, he taught me a little bit when we were hanging out and I still remember pretty much all of it.
After introductions, Luke’s uncle takes us up to a guest bedroom, which of course only has one queen size bed, because destiny’s been on such a roll lately. Then Cole leaves us to get settled, shutting the door behind him.
As I’m trying to figure out the sleeping arrangement and if I even care, Luke turns to me with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans. “So… where did you learn how to sign?” he asks.
I shrug. “One of my foster families had a little boy that was deaf.” I drop my bag on the bed. “He taught me a little bit.”
“Why did you leave the family?” As soon as he says it, it looks like he bites down on his tongue. “Never mind. You don’t have to answer that.”
I don’t want to either, but I find myself doing so anyway, proving once again how comfortable I am with Luke. “He got sick… the little boy and with the hospital visits and medical bills, there just wasn’t room for a fourteen year-old girl who had a lot of emotional baggage.”
Now he looks like he’s really biting down on his tongue, so hard it’s probably bleeding. “I’m so sorry, Violet.”
I shrug it off, pretending to search my bag for something to avoid looking at him, afraid he might just see how full of shit I am. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago… and I’ve moved on.” I hold my breath, feeling him move up behind me, as if he wants to touch me or hug me better, but I can’t do that with him right now. Fooling around is one thing, but hugging is way too emotionally driven. “So there’s only one bed.”
“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Luke puts his bag onto the floor and releases a deafening breath before finishing off his beer and throwing the empty bottle away. “Sorry about this—about everything.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” I say, setting my half drank beer down on the dresser then bending down to unzip my bag and get the battery I bought for my phone out. “I pretty much forced you to let me come with you.” I don’t bother noting the other sorry he was throwing out there. It feels wrong for him to say sorry for something that was out of his hands. What his mother did wasn’t his fault and one day I hope I can fully tell him that.
“There was no forcing. Trust me. I wanted you to come with me more than I should of,” he says, sinking down on the bed, his head falling forward into his hands. “Because I’m selfish.”
“You’re not selfish.” I stand back up and open the package the battery came in. I take it out and put it in my phone, crossing my fingers it’ll work. “You’re anything but.”
He elevates his head, his eyes blazing with so much intensity I almost shrink back. “How the hell do you figure that?”
I press down on the talk button, shrugging as I wait to see if my phone will boot up. “You gave me my space when I left… when I told you that I didn’t want to see you. You gave me what I asked for and that’s not selfish.”
He gestures at the both of us, gaping. “We’re here now.”
“I chose to be here.” I relax as my phone screen turns on, but any elation plummets when I see that I have five new messages.