“Is it al right if I catch a ride with you?” Kim asked.
I pul ed away from Ryan and looked up at my friends. “It’s Friday. Did you want to go out later?”
Kim shot a look at Ryan and then back at me. “I already have plans. Tomorrow night?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“I’l catch a ride with Nina,” Ryan said.
Beth and I both looked at Chad, who shrugged. “Cool. See ya.” He lifted his hand to wave and they filed out of the coffee shop.
I looked at Ryan, embarrassed. “It’s official. I’m a freak.”
“You’re not a freak. Chad was planning on taking Beth back with him, anyway. They have dinner plans.”
“I cleared the table in less than two minutes. I’m a freak.”
“You want to grab some dinner?”
I tried to think of a delicate way to turn him down, but he spoke before anything came to mind.
“We’l just grab something quick…go through a drive thru. Me and Josh are going to grab a few beers later, anyway,” he explained.
“Oh. Yeah, okay,” I said, standing up.
We sat in the parking lot closest to Andrews devouring our fast food. The slogan game had kept us entertained since we left the coffee shop. Ryan countered my feeble attempts to stump him so quickly that I couldn’t help but double over with laughter.
“Have you been practicing?” I giggled, exhausted from laughing so hard.
“I’m not gonna lie. I’ve had a lot of time on my hands, waiting to heal,” he chuckled, throwing up a piece of chicken and catching it in his mouth.
“What are you doing tonight?” he asked.
“I’m probably going to get some laundry together, take it over to Jared’s,” I said without thinking.
“You’re staying over there again? I thought you said you weren’t moving in,” he said, this time without his usual attitude.
“I’m not,” I snapped, waiting for him to come back with something spiteful.
Ryan sighed and took my hand. “I don’t want to argue about it anymore, Nigh. I’ve said everything I needed to say on the subject.”
“I don’t want us to fight, either. I want us to be able to hang out and be friends like we used to. I miss you,” I said, suddenly hopeful that we could get beyond al of the infatuation nonsense.
“I miss you, too. I’l quit being a jerk,” he said, brushing my bangs out of my eyes. “When you hugged me tonight, I realized how ridiculous I’ve been. I don’t want to lose you, Nina. It doesn’t matter if you’re with him, or me, or anyone else. What matters is that we’re friends, and that you can count on me being here when you need me.”
I pul ed in a shal ow breath through my nose, trying to keep my eyes from glossing over with tears. He didn’t know that we would have to lose each other if he wanted to be happy. I just smiled and nodded my head, and Ryan hugged me once more.
“Truce?”
“Truce,” I smiled.
He walked to his dormitory and I headed to Andrews, feeling morose. I pul ed out my cel phone and cal ed Jared, who picked up on the first ring.
“Hey,” he answered, sounding a bit sad himself.
“I’m just going to grab a few things from my room and then I’l be ready.”
As I rounded the corner, Jared came into view, his cel phone to his ear. He pul ed up one corner of his mouth into a contrived half-smile. I put my cel phone away and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face in his chest. He could sense my feelings for Ryan, and I was ashamed for feeling the way I did. It wasn’t fair to either of them.
An awkward silence festered in the Escalade until we pul ed up to the curb in front of his apartment.
“Nina…,”
“It’s okay,” I interrupted him. I wasn’t sure what he was going to say, but I didn’t want to waste time discussing my feelings for Ryan. Jared felt he was getting in the way of fate, but I knew what I wanted. There would be no compromise.
We walked hand in hand to the loft, and I could feel the worry radiating from him. I hung my coat on the rack and immediately went to the kitchen, praying there were dishes to be done or to put away; anything to keep me busy.
Jared went to his extravagant stereo system and tinkered with the multitude of buttons. While I put away dishes in various cabinets, a familiar song permeated the room. I felt Jared’s arms surround me, the heat of his skin sinking into my back. His cheek touched mine as he pul ed me into his chest, and I closed my eyes when he whispered into my ear.
“Do you recognize this song?”
I simply nodded, listening to the music. It was the song we danced to at the pub. I remembered that moment as if it were just hours before, and yet it felt like a lifetime ago.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It’s cal ed ‘Little Heaven’.” His lips peppered my neck with soft, tiny kisses, working his way up to my ear.
I smiled. “That’s appropriate.”
Jared turned me slowly to face him and I watched the clouds rol in, darkening his eyes. His jaw tensed as he scanned my face.
“I could step aside, Nina. I could step aside and let you be with who you’re supposed to be with. If I was any less selfish…I would. But even after al of my stupid mistakes, I stil think I can make you happy.
“If it’s what you want, I’l step aside,” he shook his head, “but if it’s not…I’l fight fate. I’l fight Heaven, and Hel , and everything in between to keep you.”
I stood there, stunned. Anything I said would pale in comparison. The storms in his eyes raged stronger than I’d ever seen them.
“Jared…,” I struggled with what I wanted to say. Jared swal owed, sensing the turmoil within me. I shook my head and he let go of my waist, bracing himself for my next words. But there would be none.
I inched up on the bal s of my feet and paused. My eyes moved from his eyes to his mouth. Jared stood motionless, waiting for judgment.
I pressed my lips to his, and he cautiously kissed me back. My hands held each side of his face, and I worked my lips against his, sliding my fingers through the back of his hair. Jared’s hands returned to my waist as the kiss intensified. My lips parted and he pul ed me to him without hesitation.
His doubt melted away, he knew my decision.
Against his body I let out an involuntary moan, causing a chain reaction. Almost simultaneously, I lifted Jared’s shirt as he finished the task by yanking it over his head, my knee inched up and Jared firmly grabbed it, pul ing it higher up his side, and then he eagerly lifted me on top of the counter.
I wrapped my legs around him, digging my fingers into the bare flesh of his back to draw him closer. His hands gripped my thighs, impatiently pul ing me to the edge of the counter. Jared’s lips were urgent, but in a new way. His wasn’t the kiss that he used to tel me he loved me, or to tel me goodbye. He was giving in.
Jared lifted my sweater over my head and I let out a satisfied sigh when he pressed his bare chest against mine. I pressed my lips harder against his; we stil weren’t close enough. My breath grew ragged and uneven as he impatiently pul ed me from the counter and walked across the room— my legs stil wrapped around him—to climb the stairs. As he held me, he never took his lips from mine.