Pushing aside dread of the unknown she’d face once she left, Raine grabbed a suitcase from her closet. She had a little money in the bank. She’d find a new place and a new job. After all, she had a college degree and some accounting skills. She was good with people. She’d been an office manager…of sorts. Somehow, someway, she’d figure it out.
Blotting her face with a tissue, Raine sniffled back tears. They were useless. Liam and Hammer couldn’t change what they needed, and she couldn’t change who she was. It had been destined to end this way, she supposed.
Desolation hollowed her as she tossed most of her belongings into the suitcase. She packed some of her favorite pictures: Hammer dressed as the devil, opposite her angel, last Halloween. She and Liam at their collaring ceremony. One she’d taken of the two men clinking beer mugs the night Liam had first arrived from New York. All happy times. All smiles. So unlike now.
Raine sighed and zipped her suitcase, scanning her room. Sad that she’d packed up most of her life in fifteen minutes. All she had to do was load her car and drive off.
Wait, it wasn’t her car. Hammer had bought it for her. The title was in his name. And she’d accepted the gift because it made her feel special to him. Stupid. The smarter move would have been to stand on her own two feet. She sure as hell refused to steal from him now.
She fished her car keys from her purse, along with the keys to Shadows, and left them on her dresser. He’d find them at some point.
Dismissing the thought, she dug out her phone, Googled a quick number, and made the saddest phone call of her life. The voice on the other end said she had ten minutes left, but why wait? Why take a chance that Liam or Hammer would come looking for her? It was probably cowardly to just disappear. But so much easier. She’d make sure they knew she was all right and make them promise to let her go.
She backed out of the room, taking one last sweeping look around. Not that it mattered; this place was permanently imprinted in her memories. On her heart. Just like the men who lived here.
No one walked the hall as she slipped out of her room. No one confronted her as she made her way past Liam’s door, past Hammer’s. She shoved her way into the alley, peering out at the overcast day. Raine couldn’t believe this was the last time she’d be at Shadows. Everything had happened so fast. The moment felt so surreal. But she wasn’t going to wake up, rub her eyes, and realize this had all been a dream.
Standing in the alley, the wind tugged at her clothes and made her nose cold. It was almost December. Her wet hair filled her with a chill. She probably should have packed a coat, but the mild discomfort was nothing compared to the torment dismembering her heart.
Right on schedule, her taxi arrived. She turned off her phone and shoved it into her purse, approaching the vehicle. This was it. She swiped fresh tears from her face.
“Where to?” the gruff cabbie asked.
Good question. Someplace familiar—for now. She’d figure out where to head from there.
Raine rattled off the name of a drugstore a few blocks from where she’d grown up. It was in the center of town. Once there, she could begin to settle everything else. The town was relatively quiet, growing so she could find a job and easy to navigate if it took her a while to buy another car. She wouldn’t feel safe there—she only truly did under Hammer’s roof—but she’d closed that chapter of her life, so moving on…
The taxi driver put his foot on the gas, and the car lurched forward. The scarred dumpster Hammer had once found her hiding behind and the familiar building where she’d learned about love from the two amazing men who had forever changed her life rolled out of sight.
Twenty minutes later, she’d done nothing but stare out the window. She almost felt…numb. It was kind of nice. Raine didn’t expect the reprieve to last because the pain lurked just under the surface. But she’d take the daze for now. The minute she found some privacy, it was bound to get ugly.
The cab stopped in the little strip shopping center. She thought about asking him to wait, but he got a call for another fare. And honestly, she didn’t know where to tell him to take her. She paid him, grabbed her suitcase, then climbed out.
It started to rain.
Damn it, if that didn’t just add to the day. Sighing, Raine dashed into the shelter of the store. She pretended to browse the cosmetics and self-care products. She walked past greeting cards, toys, snacks—and came to something she could really use.
She grabbed the first one on the shelf, paid a goth girl for it, and peered out, hoping for a break in the storm, which probably wouldn’t last. But all she had to do was find a place to hang her head for the night. Then the skies could pour down buckets for all she fucking cared.
Except no one was going to rent her a room at ten thirty in the morning.
Crap, she couldn’t even plan a departure without fucking it up.
At the end of the road, the sign of a low-budget chain of motels caught her attention. It wasn’t fancy, but it was clean and probably pimp-free. Those were her only requirements now.
Fifteen minutes later, she juggled her purchase under her arm and, fingers aching, transferred her suitcase to her other hand as she strolled through the automatic double doors. Securing a room for the night would be no problem. Their computers were down currently, and none of the rooms would be clean for a few hours. The desk clerk agreed to store her suitcase for her, handed her a claim ticket, then told her she could check in officially as soon as the touchy machines all came back online.
Now what? She could hang out in the lobby, but she’d have nothing to do except to think of all she’d lost. Since she was no longer focused on the details of getting from Point A to Point B, the gouging sadness was begging to dig at her again, emptying her of any desire to put one foot in front of the other. It would get better, she knew. In time. A few months, if she was lucky. Maybe a few years.
Maybe never.
Raine shoved the thought aside. “What’s the nearest restaurant?”
She’d known once upon a time, but she hadn’t lived here in years.
The desk clerk referred her to a pancake house a few blocks away, closer to the freeway. Not that it mattered, really. She wasn’t hungry, but pretending to eat would kill time.
As she started for the door, the hotel’s little shuttle pulled up.
“The bus will take you anywhere within a two-mile radius for free,” the clerk offered helpfully, eyeing her.
“Thanks.” Raine didn’t glance back, just walked out.