“We’ll survive it.” I sounded more confident than I felt. Last night had been torturous. There was nothing worse than that necessary distance that I had to keep between the two of us. All I longed to do was reach out and touch him. Every inch of my skin prickled and ached for me to let him touch me. I wanted his arms around me and his hard, heavy body pressing into mine. I wanted it with every part of my being, but I knew once I got it there was no way I was going to survive letting it go. He refused to entertain the idea that we could have more, that he could be more to me than a hard and ready cock and every time he reminded me of the fact it was like having a bucket of icy water poured over my head.
I’d lost my mind a little last night outside the bar. He just smelled so good, and when he looked at me like I could be the thing he built his dreams on there was no stopping me from taking a little taste. I was like a starving person that was offered a cupcake. I wanted to lick all the frosting off and shove the rest of all the deliciousness in my mouth with both hands. It shouldn’t have gone as far as it did. I knew he wasn’t going to understand that it had been more about me than it had about him, and I couldn’t blame him for that. It was hard to explain that making him happy and giving him what he wanted since I knew that there was no way I was getting what I wanted from him fulfilled me in a complex and emotional way. His satisfaction gave me a little bit of my own. It was a pretty powerful thing to be the girl that made a man that had brooding and suspicion down to an art form drop that ever-present shield he held up to keep the world at bay. That glimpse of Church unprotected and vulnerable would stay with me forever. He might not love me, but he trusted me and he lowered his defenses for me. That might be enough to keep me going when it was time to walk away.
I made his eyes glow. That better than hazel color had lit up the night and nothing had ever made me feel so accomplished or satisfied. The darkness that seemed to follow him everywhere lifted for a split second and I would never forget that I was able to chase his shadows away for that moment, no matter how brief it may have been.
“How long you think a pillow fortress is gonna keep my hands off of you?” I jolted as he rocked the bike up off its stand and turned the motor over. Clearly he didn’t want my response and I was secretly glad I didn’t have to give him one because the only thing I didn’t really want him to keep me safe from was him.
The drive to the small hospital took almost no time at all once we hit the actual city limits, though “city” was a bit of a stretch. The town of Lowry looked like it could be the set of a family drama set deep in the heart of the south. It was adorable, quaint, and looked like every single person living there had taken an oath to keep the streets clean and the main street just kitschy enough to be ironically cool. The entire place could have fallen off the front of a postcard, it was that picturesque and pristine. It almost felt like stepping back in time and I sort of loved it. I was a Colorado girl to my core but part of the reason I loved the Mile High so much was because it was a big city with a small-town mentality. People were kind to their neighbors. There was a sense of community, and it really felt like I couldn’t go anywhere without running into someone I knew. I was tickled pink by this actual small town, and I waved back at everyone who lifted their hand in greeting and smiled at everyone who offered up a grin as Church barreled down the narrow two-way street. I wasn’t sure if they recognized him and that’s why everyone seemed so friendly or if this was just the kind of place where strangers were friends until proven different. If that was the case this place was my kind of town.
The hospital wasn’t a massive, sprawling structure. In fact, the entire building looked like it would fit inside of the bar where I worked back home. However, the inside was a bustle of activity and there was no shortage of medical equipment or hospital staff scurrying around in colorful scrubs. The outside might not have been very impressive but the inside sure was.
Church stopped at the information desk and asked where we could find Elma Mae. The woman seated behind it gave him a smile and proceeded to tell him that she remembered him from when he was little, that his brother was growing up to look just like him, and that she knew his dad and was so happy when Julian decided to run for sheriff. For all the forgetting Church had been trying to do it appeared that the people he had left behind had long memories. The woman thanked him for his service, to which he blushed and stumbled over a “Much obliged, ma’am.” We hadn’t been back for very long and already his accent was twice as pronounced as it normally was. He might have thought he cut himself loose when he enlisted and ended up on the other side of the world, but his roots ran deep no matter how tangled and snarled they might be.
On the way to the room he was stopped twice more. Once by a nurse that told him they went to high school together and that she was glad to see that he’d made it back home in one piece, and the second time by a doctor that mentioned he had been the one taking care of Elma Mae and knew that his visit was going to mean the world to her. Apparently the older woman talked about the Churchill men like they were family. Church didn’t bother to tell the man that they were family, he simply replied that he would be around for as long as Elma needed him. That got him a pat on the back and a toothy smile.
When we got to the room I grabbed Church’s elbow and pulled him to a stop before he could push the door open. “I’m going to give you a few minutes alone with her. I’m sure she missed you and I don’t want to intrude. Come and get me when you’re ready, I’ll hang out here in the hallway.” I really needed to find a cup of coffee. My sleepless night and the stress of wondering who would have possibly reported me missing had me strung out and feeling spread a little too thin.