Luc understood that feeling well.
“In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been surprised by Joshua’s behavior. All the signs were there.”
“My God, you shouldn’t have had to know the signs at that age. You told your parents, right?”
Her body wilted then, as if she had no more fight. “I told my mother.”
Biting back the urge to prompt her, Luc waited while she closed her eyes, gathered her courage.
“She didn’t believe me.”
“What the hell? Certainly she could see . . . There was evidence.”
Alyssa shook her head. “I was stupid. I panicked and cleaned up. Today, I’d have marched myself down to the hospital and demanded a rape kit and prosecuted the son of a bitch. But at fifteen, all I could think about was ‘getting caught.’
“The day after it happened, Joshua was vile to me at school, told everyone he’d nailed me. He called me his convenient pussy and said he was going to get more that night. I was terrified.”
Just when Luc thought this prick couldn’t get any lower, Alyssa revealed another fact about her stepbrother that enraged him all over again.
“So after dinner, I pulled my mom aside and told her what had happened. She accused me of trying to ruin her life. I was just being petulant because Joshua liked girls his age and lying because I resented her happiness.” Alyssa sniffed, pressed her lips together.
Having your own mother stab you in the back the day after suffering the worst physical and emotional trauma of your life? Luc couldn’t even imagine the anguish . . . And knowing that Alyssa had never resolved this between her and her mother? No wonder the woman’s death had been confusing for her.
“Your mother’s betrayal hurt worst of all.” It wasn’t a question; he knew.
She stared at the marble countertop and nodded.
“It’s not your fault; none of this was. Your mother should have stood beside you. She was supposed to protect you. I understand why you both loved and hated her.”
Alyssa whipped her gaze over her shoulder, clearly surprised that he’d figured that out. “Yeah. But after she married Richard, she became a different person. Absorbed in him. And I knew he’d be no help. Joshua could do no wrong in his eyes. He probably would have applauded his son’s behavior. He was a misogynist who objectified all women.”
And Joshua followed in his father’s footsteps.
Luc didn’t understand either the point of view or the horrific lapse in parenting. But he could tell from Alyssa’s demeanor that she still had more to tell.
“After I talked to my mom, it was late. Near bedtime. I knew Joshua would come to my room again. I asked to spend the night at a friend’s house, but Mom said no. I packed a bag, took the hundred bucks I had in a drawer, and snuck out my window.”
“Oh, dear God. Where did you go?”
“At first to a friend’s house, but when my mom called in the middle of the night looking for me, saying I’d run away, her parents drove me home and told me not to come back. My stepfather had apparently threatened them with criminal and civil action. He was a big-time lawyer.
“I went home that night. My mom grounded me and sent me to my room. The only saving grace was that everyone was awake, and Joshua couldn’t sneak into my room. The next day, instead of going to school, I ran away again. This time, I made it as far as Hollywood.”
Horror zipped through Luc. “Did you know anyone there?”
She shook her head. “It was only a couple dozen miles from home, but it might as well have been a world away.”
A fifteen-year-old girl in Hollywood? Alone? She would have been preyed upon, unable to support herself unless—Luc didn’t even want to consider how she’d eaten and kept a roof over her head.
“You looked for a job,” he guessed.
“Fast-food places wouldn’t hire me until I was sixteen, and even then, I had to have parental consent. Sixteen was still nine months away, and even if I could ask my parents, they would never have approved.” Alyssa gripped the counter tighter. “You can guess what happened next.”
Oh, no. That couldn’t be. “Sugar . . .”
She bit her lip, then spoke quickly, without inflection. “The first few times were hard. I closed my eyes a lot and pretended I was someplace else. Thank God none of the men were creepy or dangerous. Just run-of-the-mill johns looking to get laid.”
Luc was speechless. Fifteen and reduced to prostitution because her family had hurt her in every way possible. Forced to fend for herself because they were too selfish and had all but abandoned her.
A million things clicked into place: the reason she was so touchy about people assuming she was a whore, the reason she insisted that the girls who work for her better themselves, the reason she hated to rely on others unless forced, the reason she wasn’t wound up about being nude in public. She’d learned early that her body was a commodity and that only educating herself would improve her lot. She’d clearly also figured out that her self-worth had nothing to do with her career, but her inner core.
In his head, Luc thought he’d known that her “profession” hadn’t fazed her . . . but he hadn’t behaved that way. It had been a big deal to him. Now it seemed so stupid. He’d bite his tongue off before he ever said anything that made her feel like less than a lady again.
“Did you ever go home?” he asked quietly.
“I thought about it. The first Christmas without family was hard. I spent it alone in an alley with a candy bar and a campfire, hoping that no one would attack me in my sleep. But the week before, I’d seen Joshua. He came looking for me, flashing my picture around and telling all the other girls that my mom wanted me back for the holidays. Most protected me and played dumb, but one of the older women thought she could ‘save’ me by snitching. I got away with, maybe, three minutes to spare.”
“And since Joshua knew where you were, you couldn’t stay.”
“I had some money saved up. I bought a bus ticket, told the woman behind the counter I wanted to go someplace warm. Joshua always made fun of Southerners, called them stupid rednecks. So I thought heading to the South would be a good idea.”
She shrugged. “Bus ticket brought me here. A woman I talked to for part of the trip promised that stripping was better and nearly as lucrative as . . .” She blew out a breath. “I got a fake ID with a fake name to blend in.”
“Alyssa isn’t your name?” She was so Alyssa to Luc. He couldn’t imagine calling her something else.
“It’s my middle name. My real name is Lindsey.”
It didn’t suit her at all. Lindsey was a girl. This woman before him was tough, a survivor, worthy of a name with a big, sexy sound like Alyssa. She astounded Luc with her strength, her resilience, her never-say-die attitude. She’d walked through hell and fire, and emerged on the other side a woman of steel. As much as he ached for what she’d endured, he was proud of her.
“Then I knocked on Sexy Sirens’ door,” she said. “It was called something else then, but Marquessa, while a bitch, saved my life. She let me live at the club until I got on my feet, worked around my school schedule when I started studying for my GED. Her boys kept the locals from hitting on me too much. I kinda . . . grew up there.” She shrugged. “I never went home again until my mother’s funeral. I saw Joshua—from a distance. He didn’t see me, thank God. And to this day, he still doesn’t know what became of me. If he had any clue, I don’t know what he would do.”
Luc knew what he’d like to do to the asshole, but Alyssa needed his understanding and comfort now, not his fury. He’d look up this prick soon and take him down a peg or twenty, but this moment was about his wife.
Guilt crept in that his behavior had caused her grief and forced her to spill her secrets to him. On the other hand, getting her story out in the open, him hearing it, was perhaps one of the best things that could have happened to them.
“I’m so sorry I upset you. Accused you. Scared you.”
And let Tyler’s smug face dig under my skin when he answered the door. In retrospect, Luc knew her bouncer/bodyguard was in love with her and probably enjoyed watching him draw the worst conclusions, driving a wedge into Alyssa’s new marriage. He didn’t respect the guy for it . . . but he understood.
She bowed her head. “The funny thing about you accusing me of sleeping around? Until you, I never really enjoyed sex. I mean, at first it did nothing but bring up bad memories. When I got older and figured out that it wasn’t my fault and Joshua was nothing but slime, I tried to date, tried to have sex. It just always seemed . . . uncomfortable and embarrassing. You actually cared about my experience.” She grimaced. “Until you, I never had an orgasm that wasn’t solo. Until you, I never understood how sex connected people.”
Seriously? Luc was stunned silent. She’d never enjoyed the lush, sensual intimacies of sex until him? Then again, how could she with such terrible memories attached?
And where did Tyler fit into this picture? Had she slept with him as some form of payment? No, she wouldn’t do that anymore. So, had Tyler been an experiment? Clearly, she trusted the man or she wouldn’t have taken a sleeping pill and fallen into his bed. Did some part of her love the bouncer? Luc didn’t know. He did know that, despite her protestations that she’d never had sex with the man, Tyler had to have fathered Alyssa’s coming child.
Whatever reason she had for denying that fact they’d tackle later.
Luc wrapped his arms around his wife, who relaxed against him, leaning back into his body. Safe, treasured, his. At least in part. At least for now.
He still had to figure out who was terrorizing her. For a while, he’d assumed it was Tyler, but . . . the man had had a thousand opportunities to hurt Alyssa today. Instead, he’d taken her to the doctor, given up his own bed. Granted, he hadn’t called her husband, but since he wanted her for himself, why would he?
Peter had been in the county jail when the house had been broken into. Who did that leave? Primpton? Had the threatening vandalism been his work? Or someone else entirely?
Clutching his wife, Luc lifted Alyssa against him, carrying her to the bed. He set her gently on the sheets. “Rest.”
She grabbed his arms. “Stay with me.”
Hope surged. The fact she wanted him near her was a good sign.
With a nod, Luc lowered himself to the bed, stretching out beside her, stroking her damp hair.
Their gazes met. Telling this story had stripped her soul down to its core and left her bare. Every bit of that pain and fear was in her blue eyes.
He ached to make all that go away.
“Luc?” Alyssa breathed, her platinum hair floating around her shoulders like a temptress. But looking at her sweet oval face, rosy cheeks, and swollen, impossibly blue eyes only reminded him of the girl with the scarred heart that lay underneath that temptress.
“I’m here. Always here for you,” he vowed.
“Touch me. Please.” She shook as she unbelted her robe. “Be with me . . .”
Her request shocked him. He wanted to, God knew. Her words filled him with joy, made his cock weep with need. But . . . “Sugar, you’ve been through a lot tonight. I don’t think now is the best time—”
“It is.” She shrugged her robe off, revealing every bit of her gorgeous golden skin. “I have to replace the memories of Joshua with something wonderful. With you.”
How could he say no to wiping away her worst memories? How could he fight something he wanted so damn badly?
Luc rose up on all fours over her, giving her plenty of space to move if she needed, and kissed her belly. “Are you sure?”
Alyssa reached up, curled her arms around his neck, and brought his mouth down to hers for a lingering, desperate kiss that pleaded. Unnecessary. She’d had him at “Touch me.”
“Completely sure.”
Luc tore off his robe and lowered himself over her, cradling himself between her thighs, taking hold of her hips. He rained kisses over her cheeks, her neck, the swells of her breasts, and she softened in his arms. For long minutes, he brushed his palms over her skin, and finally, she sighed.
Needing to know she was ready for him, Luc reached between them and massaged her clit. She drew in a sweet, shuddering breath, and desire gripped him mercilessly.
Cock in hand, he aligned their bodies. “Tell me if I hurt you. Scare you. I never want to do that again.”
She swallowed, her solemn blue gaze fastened on him, and Luc felt her pain and need slice clear through to his heart. “I will, but you won’t. Just . . . be with me.”
The fact she wanted him anywhere near her now made him feel honored. She’d given him a gift. And he intended to treasure it—and her.
She linked their fingers together. The connection was electric and shuddered down his spine. Alyssa’s desire to be closer to him touched him deep, stripping away his anger. Having her ask for him, surrender to him, was so much sweeter than tying her to the bed like a caveman. He’d regret that forever and hoped to make it up to her now.
