“I like that even though Ayden and I don’t see eye to eye on everything, and even when she has really pissed me off, I’ve never not loved her. Even when I didn’t know how to love, when all I was doing was looking out for number one, I still loved her, and I like that I know how to do it right now. I like that I haven’t wasted the second chance I was given to be her big brother and ruined it … at least not yet.”
She made a whimpering sound where she was buried into the center of my chest and I felt her fingers curl into the base of my spine right above my ass.
“Have you ever told her that?”
I blinked a little as she pulled back and smoothed a hand over her long hair.
“No. But I’ve apologized to her more times than I can count.”
Her long lashes dipped down over her gaze as she stepped all the way out of my embrace. “When she comes to town next week, tell her that, Asa. Apologizing for what happened or what might happen is a waste of an opportunity to tell her that you like who you are for her now. That’s the moment you need to focus on with her.”
We stared at each other for a long, intense moment until she reached up and put a hand on each of my cheeks and pulled me down for a smacking kiss. “Now take me home and take me to bed.”
Thank fuck. That was something I could do without all the introspection and soul-scraping thought.
I kissed her back and put her hastily in the Nova so we could race back to her apartment on Capitol Hill. When I parked in front of the Victorian, it was a stroke to my ego that she seemed just as eager to get through the front door as I did. She threw her purse absently on the small table by the door and her keys hit the floor with a clatter as I shut the door behind us. She turned around to face me and I felt every predatory instinct I still harbored claw at me to pounce on her to make her submit and give me everything I wanted. I started to prowl toward her, and whatever she saw on my face must have startled her because she took a stumbling step back. Finally she was getting smart and running away from me. Too bad she had nowhere to go and was now trapped in a room with my raging desire and the raw, unsatisfied edge she had sharpened with her little game at the warehouse.
“I might not be able to pick out a whole lot of things that I like about myself, but I sure can pick out about a thousand things I like about you, Red.”
She kept backing up as I stalked toward her, her dark eyes wide in her face as her tongue darted out to slick across her bottom lip. “Is that so?”
I nodded and kept advancing on her until the back of her thighs hit the side of her couch that took up most of the available space in her living room. It brought her retreat to a sudden halt and allowed me to trap her between my hips and the arm of the couch as I caged her in.
“Yep. I like that you won’t sway your thoughts on right and wrong. I like that you stand your ground and call me on my stupid shit.” As I talked to her I snaked my hands down the outsides of her toned thighs until I got to the hem of her skirt where it hit her knees. I heard her suck in a breath as I started to work the fabric up her legs, making sure to drag my fingertips across every smooth inch of her skin that I could reach. “I like that you have no problem watching girls take off their clothes and dance around. I like that you have a penchant for putting your hands down my pants in public.” I grunted in surprise when my hands got high enough to grab ahold of the sweet curve of her ass. I was a little surprised that a whole lot of naked skin was what greeted me, but then I remembered that she had shown up at my place in the middle of the night in nothing but a trench coat, and a grin of appreciation pulled at my mouth. “I really like that you seem to detest underwear and that I now know the next time we go on a date I should be the one putting my hands in your pants.”
Her eyebrows shot up high and she didn’t say anything as she started to work the buttons loose on my shirt. Her eyes were locked on mine and I could tell she was weighing the validity of everything I was saying to her, so I made sure to be as blunt and honest as possible. I squeezed the firm flesh of her backside and put a knee between her legs once I had her skirt all the way up around her waist so that she was naked and exposed where our hips pressed together.
“I like that even though I almost made you cry, you still let me come home with you. I like that you obviously want for me to be better than I am but you’re willing to settle for what’s right in front of you. And I really, really like that even though we both know you deserve so much better, I’m the one you want.”
She flattened her hands on my chest after she had worked all the buttons loose on the front and smoothed her hands up across my pecs, taking the fabric with her. I shrugged it off and reached a hand up under her fancy top so that I could wrap a palm around the heavy weight of her breast. Her nipple immediately puckered and stabbed into my palm as her eyelids drooped a little and she whispered, “I do want you. This you, Asa, not a better you. Only you.”