“You’re right. There are really great things in this moment.” I wanted it to be flirty and fun like I usually was after sex, but I could hear the longing in my own voice.
She put her hands on top of mine as we just lay there and absorbed what had changed between us tonight. “Every moment is what you make of it, Asa.”
I was starting to wonder if there would ever be enough moments between her and me because so far they were some of my favorites … even the bad moments with her had been better than great moments I had shared with anyone else.
CHAPTER 14
Royal
“So you and my brother, huh?” I had been preparing myself for this conversation all night long. So far I had been lucky, most of the evening was taken up by talk of babies and Ayden catching up with the rest of the girls, but I knew there was no way to avoid this subject all night.
Shaw and Cora had lost themselves in mommy business, Salem was in deep conversation with Sayer, who was her boyfriend Rowdy’s sister. She was quizzing the elegant-looking blond woman about the current condition of her own sister, who had bailed on girls’ night, which apparently wasn’t uncommon, as Poppy rarely left the house for anything other than work, according to Salem. Saint had sent me a text an hour ago that she would try and make it, but there had been an emergency at the hospital, a little boy rushed into the ER with severe burns over most of his body. So even if she did get out of work in time for a drink, she probably wasn’t going to want to hang out at the Bar with the rest of us. All of that led to Ayden seeing her opportunity to ask me about what was going on between me and Asa, and moving in for the kill.
Her eyes were the exact same burnt-amber color as Asa’s, which was a little disconcerting as she stared steadily at me. I couldn’t tell if she asked the question wanting a simple answer or an explanation, or if she was just stating the fact that I was, indeed, sleeping with her brother on an extremely frequent basis. I cleared my throat a little nervously and rolled the beer bottle I was holding between my palms.
“I like him.” I winced a little as her black eyebrows danced upward, and gave her an awkward shrug. “I care about him a lot.” As it was, I was well on the way to being head over heels in love with him, even if the ride was giving me whiplash. I never knew which Asa I was going to get when I went over to his place after the Bar closed or when he appeared at my door during the night. Sometimes it was the fun and flirty charmer just out for pleasure and good times. Sometimes it was the quiet and brooding boy stuck in the past, obviously choking on regret and remorse but unwilling to move past it. Sometimes it was the rough, demanding man that wanted more than I was ready to give him, the man that still liked to push and play games. Sometimes it was the sharp-minded man that was obviously meant for other things than bartending in a dive.
I tolerated all of those different versions of him because more often than not I got the guy I wanted to be with forever. The witty, too-smart-for-his-own-good, devilishly and effortlessly endearing version of Asa that only made an appearance when he forgot to worry about all the things he had done and ignored all the ways this undeniably significant thing between us could go wrong. That guy made putting up and navigating around all the other ones worth the time and effort even if he only appeared every once in a while.
“Caring about Asa can be a draining task.” Ayden’s voice was raspy, made even more so by the tequila she had been downing at a steady pace for most of the evening. If I’d had as much to drink as her, I would be on the floor in a fetal position under a table. Ayden didn’t even seem buzzed while her eyes were intent on mine. I could feel her weighing and sizing up how she felt about my involvement with her older sibling.
“It can be.” But when the Asa I wanted to love was around, it was so worth the exhaustion.
Both of us turned to look at the bar, where Asa was watching our exchange with narrowed eyes. The Bar was pretty busy, so Dixie and the new girl, Becca, had been taking care of us for most of the night. He had stopped by to hug his sister and to plant a hard kiss on my mouth with a warning look at Ayden before he headed back to the bar. It was a statement that couldn’t be missed. I knew she was going to want to weigh in on the situation, but so far it hadn’t really gone like I expected. Instead of the third degree or blatant disapproval, she seemed oddly curious as she watched me watch him.
“I worry about him all the time still.” The corner of her mouth tilted up in a grin. “Every single day I have to fight with myself not to call and check up on him. Leaving him here just when things were starting to fall in place for him was one of the hardest things I have ever done.”