She rolled her eyes and a smile tugged at her mouth. I was a goner. I wasn’t going to let her go again even if she wanted me to, but I needed to know why she was suddenly here, so I told her, “We need to talk about your change of heart, Royal.”
She lifted one of her burnished eyebrows at me and her dark eyes danced in merriment. “I know. But I’m naked. I have on handcuffs and I really missed you, Asa.” She turned her head a little so that she could touch her lips to my own. “Plus you bought me a house. I think I need to say thank you in a way you’ll always remember.”
My better judgment told me to figure out where this was leading, to remind her that I had a major secret I was never going to be able to tell her, but she kissed me again. Every predatory instinct I had ever had roared to life with the need to claim, possess, mark, and own her forever as mine. Common sense had never been my strong suit anyway.
I tumbled her back on the bed with a growl.
CHAPTER 20
Royal
I spent weeks vacillating between the overwhelming amount of love I had for this man and the burning need to know what he was keeping from me. One day I was sure that whatever secret Asa was hiding didn’t matter because I wanted to be with him more than I wanted anything. The next I would be eaten alive with curiosity about what he was hiding, and I knew I would never be able to let it go. It was like being caught in the middle of an emotional tug-of-war between my head and my heart, and neither one was winning.
My mom kept telling me to get over him. Dom kept telling me to go after him and I had no idea what the right thing to do was. I was lonely and I missed him, but it wasn’t until Ayden called me today and told me that Asa had bought a house and that he never would have done that if it hadn’t been for me, that I really understood that I did love him enough to let him lie to me. Ayden also hinted that if I really thought about it, I could probably figure out why he was adamant that he keep this particular thing from me and that got me bogged down and long-repressed instincts churning back to life. When some of the pieces started to click into place, I had to evaluate whether I really wanted to know the truth or not. I loved him and I loved my mother, and I had a feeling prying into that particular Pandora’s box was going to change how I felt about one if not both of them forever. Plus, while Ayden wasn’t about to let the proverbial cat out of the bag, she had given me enough hints and clues on top of my suspicions to know that certain lines that were unforgivable no matter how much I loved either of them hadn’t been crossed. I knew whatever had happened between the two people I loved the most wasn’t pretty, and I was resigned to leave it at that if it meant I got to keep them both.
One secret wasn’t enough to give up a love that felt like it was going to come along only once in a lifetime. Ayden eased the remainder of my fears by reminding me that the only reason Asa was keeping something from me in the first place was because he was trying to protect me … just like he had done all those months ago when I was in a downward spiral and he stopped my fall. He wasn’t lying to me to hurt me; in fact it was the opposite of that. Even when he was being secretive and cryptic he was always there to catch me.
I had to trust him and I had to show him that I did; thus I was handcuffed and naked while he crawled all over me. I was supposed to be vulnerable and open to him, only I didn’t feel that way. I felt right. I felt like this was where I was supposed to be all along.
I knew he needed a grand gesture, something more than words to show him I needed him more than I needed the truth, and this was all I could come up with in a pinch. Besides, he’d had a thing for my handcuffs since the very beginning, so I called Dixie and asked her to text me when they were done for the night, parked around the corner, and then snuck into his place with a key Cora had snagged for me. There was something entirely exhilarating about stripping naked and binding your hands together in a symbolic gesture for a man like Asa. Handing myself over to him both body and soul should have been terrifying, but as soon as he opened his mouth and told me he had bought the house for me, I knew I had done the right thing. No secret was worth giving up a man that told you he needed you to be his home.
His heavy weight settled on top of me, and for the first time in two months I felt like I was grounded, not floating between what I was craving and common sense. This was where I needed to always be, with him, under him, inside of him. He made me feel real.
“How does it feel to be the one hooked up for a change?” He moved my arms from where they were looped around his neck and stretched them out as far as they would reach above my head. I drove the tips of my breasts into his chest and made every line of my body arch up into his. His eyes glowed hot enough to light up the entire room and his gaze made a warm flush work up under the surface of my skin.