Poppy and Rowdy had remained tight after I left. I knew that because before she had moved back home Poppy and I had stayed in constant contact; now our communication was far more limited. I knew that when they had graduated high school together Rowdy had picked the University of Alabama to attend because that’s where my sister decided to go, even though Notre Dame had offered him a better recruitment package. What I didn’t know, what I wondered at now, was how things had happened between them that had set Rowdy running away not just from my little sister but also from his entire future and education. I needed him to talk to me if I was ever going to put everything I had missed in the last ten years together to get a clear picture of who Rowdy was as a grown man.
Cora waited until I got off the phone and asked me to go upstairs with her. I didn’t really want to but I figured I couldn’t say no. Nash and Rule ultimately signed my paycheck, but I realized fast that Cora was sort of the rudder of the group. She steered the ship and I didn’t want to be the one causing waves so early on in my employment here.
I liked Denver. I liked the welcoming and fresh vibe it had. I liked my coworkers and the men and women in their inner circle. Rule’s wife was a sweetheart and there was no doubt the tattooed heartthrob had met his match in the classy blonde. Nash’s girlfriend was just a peach. She didn’t really talk much but when she did she was always kind and insightful and she looked at Nash like he hung the moon. I had only met Jet once but his wife, Ayden, popped in and out of the shop to talk to Cora at least twice a week, and I always thought she was a riot. And of course I adored Cora. She was smart, sassy, and full of attitude. She was just my kind of gal, only right now I was dreading getting dragged over the coals by her, but that didn’t change the fact that they were all really good people and I couldn’t have asked for a better place to land when I finally realized where I was supposed to be.
The upstairs was mostly empty. There was an office Cora shared with the boys and a whole bunch of empty space that was just waiting to be filled up and turned into a trendy, retro tattoo boutique. It would make money. The boys just needed to stop waffling about what they wanted to put up here and just do it. I think the idea of shopping and building an online store was kind of daunting to them and really Phil’s passing was still pretty fresh, so everyone was just trying to find their footing as business owners still. It was a good thing I was here. This was right up my alley. I loved clothes. I loved tattoo and pinup culture. I couldn’t wait to make the Marked and the men behind it a household name.
I walked into Cora’s messy office and sat in the chair across from her desk. She didn’t walk around the other side but instead just jumped up on the edge in front of me and swung her legs back and forth. She had eyes that were two different colors, so it was easy just to stare at her in awe. I had to respect that she didn’t beat around the bush when she immediately laid into me.
“Look, Salem, I like you. I like you quite a bit actually and I think you are just what we all need for the next phase of this business once the boys get their shit together. But Rowdy is my family and he’s been off of his game since that first day we hired you and I don’t just mean professionally. I don’t know everything, but I do know that ever since you showed up he hasn’t been himself and that I don’t like at all.”
I pulled my hair over my shoulder and ran my fingers through the dark strands.
“What exactly do you know?” I kept my tone light and curious, wondering if maybe he had shared with her his underlying reasons for seeming so fired up about me popping back up in his life.
She lifted a shoulder and let it fall. She really was just the cutest thing ever.
“I know that he burns through girls at an alarming rate and that they all thank him afterward. I know none of them stick and yet he can’t seem to keep his eyes off of you.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly what I had been after and I think she knew it. When I arched a dark eyebrow at her she gave me a coy grin.
“He never sticks with the same girl for more than a minute, which isn’t exactly unusual with this crew. The rest of them put plenty of miles on the sheets until they found the right girl. Only Rowdy has mentioned more than once that he already met the right girl and she didn’t want him, so now there is no reason to look for the one. He told me that the one just happened to be your sister. She broke him, so now he’s all about a good time and not taking anything or anyone too seriously. At least he was until you walked in the door. He seems pretty f**king serious about you.”
I crossed my legs and looked down at the peep-toe cut out of my pumps. They were black and had red bows on the heels. They were supercute and went awesome with my fitted, red pencil skirt. I dressed the way I did to feel sexy and in control. I rocked a look that attracted attention, and I did it mostly because I had been so disparaged when I was younger and I liked the positive response it always got. No amount of style and panache could dull the sharp edge of the blade that cut through me at the reminder that Rowdy had loved my little sister.
I looked back up at Cora and nodded a little. “He did love Poppy. The family that lived next to mine in Loveless took Rowdy in as a foster kid when he was ten. They were supernice but had a bucket load of kids, their own and ones from the state. Rowdy was shy, quiet, and really sad. Poppy and I were playing tag out front one day and she just happened to see him sitting on the front porch. I remember him watching us but not saying anything and she ran over and asked him to play with us.”
I felt a soft smile pull at my lips at the memory. Even then he had been tall for his age and lanky. There was also no way to miss that glittery gold hair and those bright blue eyes in a town that was predominantly inhabited by Mexican-American families. He was something else. Something new and uncertain, something exciting and unexpected in a life that had forever seemed monotonous and bleak. Even though sadness and discontentment bled off of him back then, I could still see the strength and defiance in him that I so longed to have in myself. I wanted to soothe him but I also wanted to watch what happened when someone with that much untapped potential was set free. I wanted to live through him and stand beside him so I could feel what finally being untethered from the chains of conformity felt like. I also wanted to hug him and tell him it was okay to be sad, to be angry, to be lost and frustrated. I wanted to tell him he was all right just the way he was, like I so desperately longed to hear. Now I still wanted to tell him everything would be all right, but he wouldn’t stand still long enough for me to explain that I was here for him and now that we were both free we could flourish and grow into something amazing and unbreakable together. He just had to give me a chance.
“I think he loved her from that moment on.” I sighed and looked down at my hands where they had unconsciously laced together. “My dad is a very traditional man. His family immigrated from Mexico City when he was just a baby and he really believes in the old way of doing things. He is hyperreligious and didn’t mind Poppy being friends with Rowdy because he was an orphan and his foster family were active members in our church, where my dad presided over the congregation. But he never would’ve condoned a romantic relationship between the two of them and Rowdy always knew that. It never stopped him from wearing his heart on his sleeve, though. I think he was just waiting for the two of them to get older, for them to go off to college, and then when Poppy was out from under my dad’s thumb, she would see they were meant to be together.”
Cora’s legs stopped swinging and she looked me dead in the eye.
“So what happened?”
I barked out a dry laugh and pushed my long hair back over my shoulder. “Good question.”
Now it was her turn to lift an incredulous eyebrow, only hers was dotted with a sparkly pink piercing.
“You don’t know?”
“Nope. All I know is he left school, left her, and just dropped off the map. I asked her about it a few times here and there over the years but she never gave me any details.”
“Are you here for the job, Salem, or are you here for Rowdy?” It was very Cora to ask the question so bluntly.
I could play it coquettish, smile and brush it off, but I liked her honesty and forthrightness, so I figured I should offer her the same. Plus I wasn’t afraid of any of this crew knowing I was here for one of their own. They should know that eventually they were going to have to share Rowdy with me.
“Both. I came for both.”
She made a noise that was a mix between a snort and a laugh and hopped off the desk.
“I don’t think he has any idea what to do with you. I think he’s afraid of you.”
I got to my feet and smoothed my hands down the fabric of my skirt. I watched as she made a noise of distress and pressed an arm across her chest. Her dual-colored eyes got big in her face.
“Are you okay?”
She made a face and turned a little pink. “I have to go. Apparently it’s time to feed my kid.”
Aww . . . how sweet was that? “No worries. I got the shop for the rest of the day. I can manage whatever is left for the afternoon crowd.”
She nodded and reached for her purse. I wasn’t surprised that it was zebra striped bright yellow and black. Cora was definitely colorful in appearance and personality.
“Try and play nice with Rowdy for the rest of the day. Obviously the two of you need to have a come-to-Jesus talk, and if I have to put my foot up his ass in order to make him see that, then I will be happy to do it.”
I followed her to the top of the stairs and put a hand on her shoulder before she could head down.
“No. He needs to get there on his own. I’ve been letting him tiptoe around me for weeks and I’ve given him plenty of time to adjust to the idea that I’m back in his life and that I’m not going to go away. He’s obviously not ready for me yet.”
She laughed a little and we made our way back into the shop. The waiting room had gotten busy in the fifteen minutes I was upstairs, so it was going to take a second to get everyone situated and straightened out. She leaned over and whispered so only I could hear, “Just so you know, I would pay a small fortune to see him in those tight football pants he used to wear when he was younger. I Googled him once and saw a picture from when he played for Alabama.”
She waved her hand dramatically in front of her face and gave me a little wave on her way out the front door. I had to laugh and just happened to look over my shoulder to catch Rowdy staring at me.
For once, the angry gloss was gone from his eyes as he watched me unblinkingly. I saw it clear as day in that split second. The reason there was so much division and dissonance between us. The reason he couldn’t handle me being back in his life suddenly was mapped out in that sea of blue on blue. When Rowdy looked at me all he could see was the past and what he had suffered through then, the loss he had felt at my hands and the heartache he had been gifted by my sister. But for me, when I looked at him all I could see was the future and every promise and possibility that was wrapped up in the sexy, blond, and tattooed package that was grown-up Rowdy St. James. Some way, somehow, we had to start looking at the same thing if I was ever going to have a shot at showing him there was life after the one and life after loss, especially if the one was the wrong person for him all along and the loss was right in front of him wanting to make amends.
CHAPTER 3
Rowdy
I WAS NEVER THE KIND of guy to turn my back on a good time. It was rare anymore that the entire group of friends I had immersed myself in and now called my family were all able to get together at the same time on the same day. So when Jet called me on his last night in town before he flew out to listen to some band play in Portland and demanded that I show up at the Bar because everyone was going to be there, I couldn’t think of reasonable or noncowardly excuse not to go.
It was getting harder and harder to avoid Salem without making it absolutely noticeable and now that Cora had witnessed my epic overreaction when Salem had been on the verge of mentioning her sister . . . well, there was just no escaping the endless questions and speculative looks coming from those two-tone eyes. I loved Cora something fierce, but I didn’t have any desire for her to start sticking her fingers into old wounds. Those suckers had long since scabbed over, and even if the scar tissue they left behind was ugly and gnarled, it was way better than the festering hurt and leaking heartache the actual memories had tied to them.