Troy went very still, unease moving across his face.
“Ruby—”
“Just leave me. Please.”
“Don’t ask me to do that,” he said, coming toward her. “We both made mistakes today, but right now, in this moment, we need each other. Don’t let pride get in the way of that.”
“This isn’t about pride.” She hated the defeat in her voice, but the numbness wouldn’t let anything else through. Maybe her refusal was based on pride. In the last hour, hers had taken a tremendous hit. She felt exposed, embarrassed… Everything she’d ever stood for had been thrown in her face. But right now, she didn’t care about the reason, only knew she wanted him to leave her in peace so she could scrape up the broken pieces. “Go home, Troy. You caught the bad guy and saved the reckless head case from certain death. It’s over.”
Troy knelt down in front of her, his voice vibrating with emotion. “No, it’s not. But nothing I say right now is going to get through, is it?” She didn’t answer, just stared down at him while doing her best to keep a blank expression. He cupped her ankles and slid his warm hands slowly up to the backs of her knees, his touch so achingly tender that her entire body shook uncontrollably. After the emotional upheaval of the last hour, his touch felt like a healing balm even as it demolished her. Troy leaned forward and pressed light kisses to the bandages on her knees, apologizing between each kiss. “I’m so sorry, Ruby. So sorry.”
Her throat clogged with the sobs dying to break free. He wasn’t going to leave. She could see it on his face, in the fierceness of his expression. Her hands ached to reach out and trace his furrowed brow.
Feel the scrape of his beard against her cheek. But another, equally potent part of her could only see her shortcomings when she looked at his face right now.
She would have to make him leave. Her composure was starting to slip past the point of no return. “I told you if you left, it would be the last time we were together,” she whispered and watched his face cloud.
“I never break a promise, Troy. Get out.”
Before he left, he paused at the door. “They’re going to need you to come in to make a statement. I want to take you in myself, but if you’d rather someone el—”
“I would.”
He nodded once. When he walked out the door a moment later, one of the officers she recognized came in, introduced himself as Brent, and drove her down to the station. She saw Troy through a glass partition when she arrived, but ignored him as she was led to an interrogation room. Thankfully, Brent ended up taking her statement. He hadn’t forced her to talk on the ride into Manhattan and didn’t keep her there longer than needed, which she appreciated. As he jotted down her monotone answers on a legal pad, her detailed account of events and her reasons behind them sounded ill-advised to her own ears, sinking her even deeper into the black pit she’d descended into.
Brent offered to give her a ride back to Brooklyn, but she declined, wanting desperately to get away from anything reminding her of Troy or the events of the afternoon. When she arrived home half an hour later, it felt like a dam breaking. She slammed her apartment door, limped to her bed, lay down, and didn’t get up for a very long time.
Chapter Thirteen
Troy’s vision blurred as he poured his fifth tumbler of whiskey. He couldn’t recall how much time had passed since he’d walked through the door and fallen into the dining room chair. It could have been seconds, hours, days. There was an image seared into his brain he couldn’t shake. His loose objective had been to drink until it faded from his memory, but the more liquor he consumed, the more he thought of Ruby, cut and bleeding, staring her own death in the face. If he’d been one second later…just one second…
He raised the glass to his lips and took a long pull, welcoming the burn in his chest as the liquid went through him. The image alone would have been enough to give him nightmares for the rest of his life, but her defeated attitude afterward made it infinitely worse. She’d never been defeated a day in her life. He would lay every cent he had on it. He’d done that to her. Given her nothing to hold on to. No reason to fight.
He’d driven away, leaving her to battle a homicidal criminal on her own. He would never forgive himself.
Never.
Troy pushed back his chair and stood. He paced the kitchen, mind racing from one thought to the next.
Was she asleep, battling the same nightmares he was avoiding? Was she in pain? The thought made him crazy. Made him ache as if the injuries were his own, instead of Ruby’s.
He desperately needed a distraction or he would lose what little sanity he had left. Today had been hell for more than one reason. Snatching his phone off the table, he knew he couldn’t put off the call he’d been dreading since this morning off any longer. He blew out a deep breath and pressed a number he’d had on speed dial for years. Judith, Grant’s widow, answered on the third ring.
“Hello?” Judith’s voice, along with a duo of children’s voices in the background. It sounded so familiar it gave him momentary pause. “Hello?”
“Judith, its Troy.”
“Troy,” she greeted him warmly. “I had a feeling you’d call today.”
He sat back down in the dining room chair. “I should have called earlier. It’s been a hectic day.”
She laughed under her breath. “I remember those too well.”
Of course she would. “How are you?”
“Oh, you know…coping. Grant would have been thirty today.” She sighed. “It would have been one hell of a party.”
Troy smiled. “If I recall correctly, for this twenty-eighth, he insisted on setting up the kids’ Slip’N Slide on the front lawn.”
“Yeah. At 2:00 a.m. The neighbors were thrilled.”
They both laughed. “So how has New York been so far?”
Just like that, his stubborn thoughts went back to Ruby. Guilt assailed him. His best friend’s widow was on the other line and he couldn’t get Ruby out of his head.
“Uh-oh. Radio silence is never a good sign. What’s her name, stud?”
“Judith, we really don’t—”
“Please,” she implored, her tone suddenly serious.
“Take my mind off things for a few minutes Troy. I’d appreciate it.”
Troy massaged his forehead where a dull throbbing had formed. “Ruby. Her name is Ruby. She’s a professional pool hustler with an attitude the size of f**king Illinois. She’s a spectacular pain in the ass.” He leaned back in his chair, releasing a slow breath. “She’s also beautiful, brave, and loyal. And way too smart for her own good.”
“Damn. What the hell are you wasting your time talking to me for?” Judith laughed. “A professional pool hustler, huh? I bet you’re just tickled over that safe, boring career choice.”
“Was it obvious?”
“Huh.” Judith stayed silent a moment. Troy could practically hear her drawing her own conclusions. “You know, we never really talked about the night Grant… you know,” she started hesitantly. “I don’t think I’m even ready now. But Troy? We both know nothing you said or did could have stopped him from swooping in and trying to be the hero. I married a cowboy. I knew it from the beginning.” A beat passed. “And I loved him for it, not in spite of it.”