“She’s fine. Mase is keeping her close. Other than missing you, she’s doing OK.”
She missed me? All she had to do was call me. I’d be there. But then, why would she trust me? After what I’d done to her. The self-hatred inside me grew and twisted into an ugly ball of fury. I could be with her right now if I’d handled it right. If I hadn’t been so selfish and scared. She wouldn’t be facing this alone right now.
“I call . . . I call every damn day. All she has to do is answer.”
Rush patted me on the back. “She’s scared, too. She’s just scared for different reasons.”
How could she even consider this? Her heart . . . she was so fragile. “I don’t understand why she would do this. She knows she can’t.”
Rush sank into the leather chair close to him and let out a weary sigh. “The baby is real to her. It’s inside her. She has a connection with it already. It’s a mother thing. I can’t say that I know how you feel, because the moment I found out Blaire was pregnant, I wanted that baby. It was our baby. It was a part of us. But Blaire was connected to Nate. Even then. I don’t think I felt quite what she felt until they put him in my arms. And . . .” Rush paused and shook his head, then looked directly at me. “I could never choose between Nate and Blaire. Now that I have him, I couldn’t comprehend not having him. Giving him up. And if Harlow feels even a small portion of that already, I get it. I understand completely.”
His situation had been different. Completely different. He had never had to face the possibility of Blaire dying. God! I couldn’t even think about it. It hurt too damn bad. “You,” I said, pointing at him. “You have no idea what this feels like. You were never faced with losing Blaire. Of her . . .” I couldn’t say it aloud. It would shatter me.
“You’re right. I never faced it. I know that if Blaire had been in the same situation, I would have wanted her to get an abortion. I wouldn’t have wanted her to take a chance with her life. She’s my world. But now . . . I can’t imagine a world without Nate in it. He—” Rush stopped and took a deep breath. “Nate completes my world.”
This didn’t matter. I would never hold that child, because nothing was more important than Harlow’s life. Her heart would keep beating. I would make damn sure of it. “You’re saying I have to choose. Well, I choose Harlow.”
Rush nodded. “I know. But she chooses that baby. She has that connection already. I understand her fierce need to protect her baby . . . your baby.”
Shaking my head, I walked away from him. Away from Woods, who had remained silent on the sofa. The urge to throw things and curse the world was beating in my chest, wanting out. I couldn’t do that now, though. Focusing on Harlow and saving her was my priority—not losing my shit.
“I wouldn’t let Della do it, either,” Woods finally spoke. I turned back to look at him. “I wouldn’t let her sacrifice her life. I’m nothing without her. I get it. You have to save her.”
Woods would never be in my position, but at least he understood. I wasn’t a monster for wanting Harlow to abort my child. Her body couldn’t handle it. She wasn’t meant to give birth. This was my fault. I hadn’t been careful enough.
“I’m not saying I don’t understand. I’m just saying I also understand Harlow. The love you have for your child is intense. Go easy on her. Don’t force her. If you do, she’ll run away. You won’t be able to save her,” Rush said, then stood up. “Mase has a house at the back of his parents’ ranch. It’s off the road, and you have to go through his parents’ front gate to get back there. That’s where she’s staying. She’s been hiding there all along. I was good with keeping her secret until Mase called me today and told me about the pregnancy. I talked to Blaire, and she said it was time I told you. Mase wants you to go and talk to her. He can’t talk her out of it, and he needs your help. He also said she’s lost weight and hasn’t cracked a smile. She’s missing you, but she’s staying away from you because she’s also protecting you. She doesn’t want you to try to stop her.” Rush paused and glanced back at Woods, then turned back to me. “And she doesn’t want you to be afraid.”
My fear of losing her. She was keeping me from my nightmare come to life. “I’m going to Texas tonight. I can’t stay away from her any longer.”
Rush nodded. “I know. I figured that out already. I have a private plane waiting for you at the airport. Just be smart. Know that she’ll defend that child before anything else. Be sensitive, because acting as if that life inside her means nothing to you will wound her. It’s a part of you that she’s carrying. That makes her love it even more.”
Harlow
My eyes flew open, and it took me a moment to figure out why I was awake before the sun was up. Deep voices coming from outside snapped me out of my sleepy thoughts, and I sat up in bed and listened. Reaching for my phone, I saw it was just after three in the morning. I jumped out of the large four-poster bed, grabbed my wrap, and tugged it on before heading for the front door toward the voices.
Glancing over at Mase’s bedroom door, I saw that it was open and the light was on. One of those voices outside belonged to Mase. If his father or Major was here this early, then something must be wrong down at the ranch. I tied the wrap closed with the silky belt that hung at my waist and slipped my feet into a pair of furry slippers that I had left by my bedroom door last night when I had come inside after swinging on the front porch.