Convincing Harlow that saving herself was most important was my main focus. That and keeping her rested and her body healthy. I just didn’t know yet how hard that first part was going to be. From the way Rush talked, it wouldn’t be easy.
The smell of coffee drifted into the room, and I heard Mase moving around in the small cabin. I wanted him to leave—do something else and leave us alone. I didn’t need his interference. This was between Harlow and me. Her brother had taken care of her when I couldn’t, but I was here now, and it was time he stepped down.
“Good morning.” Harlow’s sleepy voice brought my gaze back to her face. Those big, beautiful eyes of hers looked happy this morning. She wanted me here. She may have been trying to keep me away, but she wanted me here. That was all the proof I needed.
“Morning, sweet girl,” I replied, then pressed a kiss to her soft lips. I was gentle and didn’t push for more. We needed to talk first. Tasting her would have to wait. I wasn’t sure I could remain focused if I let myself take too much right now.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she whispered.
“No. It was real. I’m here,” I assured her. And I wasn’t leaving without her.
She began tracing small shapes on my stomach with her fingertip. I watched her small hand and the frown starting to pucker her forehead. She was thinking. I knew what about. She wasn’t sure what to do now that I was here.
I didn’t doubt that she was aware of the fact that I wasn’t leaving her. Letting her worry and stress wasn’t good for her. I reached down and took her hand in mine and squeezed it. I had to ease into this, and I had to choose my words with caution.
“I can’t lose you. It would destroy me. You might as well take me with you. I won’t be able to live if you don’t.” I stopped and fought the terror that came with those thoughts. I shoved it away, because I refused to accept it. “I want you to be happy, but I want you alive. I’ll give you anything. Just ask. But I can’t sacrifice you. Your life isn’t something I’m willing to gamble with.”
She had gone still in my arms, so still I wasn’t sure if she was even breathing. It hadn’t dawned on her that I could already know her secret. If she even thought of running from me, I’d chase her down.
“You came into my life. You changed my world. You made me realize I’m capable of loving completely. You’re my one. You’re it. This is my epic love, and I can’t lose that.”
Harlow let out a shaky breath and buried her face in my chest. I cupped the back of her head with my hand and gently stroked her back as she took several deep breaths. Giving up on her wasn’t something I would ever do. She just had to understand my devotion and my need for her. “When did you become such a sweet-talker? Prepare a girl before you say stuff like that,” she said as she lifted her head to look at me. The redness in her eyes and the unshed tears made me want to cuddle her and take her away from anything that could hurt her.
“It’s true,” I assured her.
She closed her eyes and let out a long, uneven breath. “All my life, I’ve dreamed of having someone love me like you do. But in that dream, I imagined a family. The kind I didn’t get to have as a kid. A husband who loved me and our kids, because I always wanted kids. I’ve watched Rush hold Nate, and the joy in his eyes is something I always wanted for myself. I never thought I’d experience either of those things. But I was given this wonderful gift of you”—she paused and touched her flat stomach again—“and I was given this miracle. One I didn’t plan on or expect, but I got it all the same. I can’t end this. I can’t . . . I can’t. I love you, but I can’t.”
Rush had been right. She loved the life inside her already. She didn’t even know the child, but she loved it. She loved it enough to give her life for it. How could reason compete with that? How could I save her from this?
Pulling her up against my chest tightly, I held her in my arms and breathed her in. I understood what she wanted, but it couldn’t be this way. I could love her for the rest of our lives, but carrying a child and giving birth were too dangerous.
I was going to have to put a stop to this. I just didn’t know how. I did know that pushing it right now was not the right thing to do. I needed to restore the faith she had in me. I had to fix us first. Then I would show her how she couldn’t do this to me—how leaving me would destroy my life. I’d never recover from losing her. Never.
“Who told you?” she asked in a soft whisper. She had trusted her brother to keep her secret, but I couldn’t lie to her. I figured Mase would willingly admit it, anyway.
“Mase called Rush,” I explained. “He’s worried about you. Scared enough to call me. Don’t be mad at him. I owe him my life now.”
Harlow let out a long sigh and pressed a kiss to my chest before replying. “I’m not mad at him. I woke up in your arms. How can I be mad at him for that?”
Damn, I didn’t deserve her. Not even a little.
“Smells like he made coffee. You want some?” she asked, wiggling closer to me.
There were a lot of things I wanted to do with her at the moment, but I knew I wasn’t going to do anything until I’d spoken to a doctor. I needed to know what was safe and what wasn’t. I had to protect her. If she wasn’t going to take care of herself, I would. “Yeah, let’s get some coffee,” I replied, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head.