Your grandfather might do things that make you question him, but when you’re having mixed feelings about him, know that I love him. He was my world for a very long time. He became a different man once he lost your grandmother, and he has never been the same since. It changed him. So, love him anyway. Even when he’s crazy, love him. Love him because I love him. Because he loves me and because he won’t be able to help but love you.
I hope one day, we can curl up in your bed together and giggle about something he said or did. He’s an unforgettable character, and he will love you. I know he will.
Love you always,
Mommy
Harlow
My eyes opened, and I was in bed alone. My Grant pillow was gone, but I was tucked in, and the pillow Grant had slept on was still warm. Then I heard him.
My dad was here.
Grant was talking, but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. I sat up and took several deep breaths. I had to stay calm. Getting upset wasn’t good for the baby. I had to protect the baby. And I had to protect myself. Standing up, I ran my hand through my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were still slightly swollen from earlier, but I looked rested.
Kiro started raising his voice, and I knew Grant needed me to rescue him. My dad was in a foul mood. I had to remember he was just scared. He’d already lost so much in life.
The room fell silent when I opened the door, and both men turned to look at me. I gave Grant a reassuring smile before turning my attention to Kiro. He looked awful. He had lost weight since I’d seen him last, and there were dark circles under his eyes. He wasn’t wearing any jewelry. If he weren’t covered in tattoos, he’d look like an average older man. But he was a rock god. The world’s rock god. My dad.
“Hey, Daddy,” I said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room.
Pain contorted his face, and he shook his head. “You can’t do this, baby girl. I won’t let you. I need you. Gambling with your life sure as hell ain’t gonna fly. I’m taking you to get this fixed.”
“No,” I interrupted him. I had known what he would say, but hearing him actually say it was too hard. “No,” I repeated for emphasis. “I’m staying here. I have an obstetrician who specializes in pregnancies like mine. He’s teamed up with a cardiologist, and I will see him weekly. Yes, this is a high-risk pregnancy compared with normal ones, but I’m considered low-risk in my category. The doctor is positive about this.”
“But there’s still a risk. Why? Why would you do this to me? You know I need you. This—this . . . thing isn’t even a baby yet. It’s just a fetus. It can kill you, Harlow. I can’t allow anything to take you away from me. Your mother wouldn’t want this. Emmy would be heartbroken. Is this a religious thing? Is this some shit your grandmama taught you? Because it’s bullshit! Do you hear me! Bullshit.”
“Daddy! Stop. I want this baby. It’s our baby. Mine and Grant’s. I love this baby—and it is a baby, not a thing. It’s our baby, and I love it so much.” My voice broke, and Grant was beside me in an instant, his arm wrapping around my shoulders.
Kiro shifted his gaze from me to Grant, and a furious gleam lit his eyes. “This is your fault,” he said.
“Daddy, no—”
“If she dies, I will kill you. Do you understand me, boy? I will end you.”
“Daddy, stop—”
“She’s all I’ve got. You can make babies with some woman who won’t get killed by it. You didn’t have to knock up my baby girl—the only f**king thing I have left of Emmy.” Kiro shook his head. “You don’t know what it’s like to love someone like I love Emmy. You have no f**king clue. And Harlow is part of Emmy. My Emmy.”
My stomach felt sick, and my chest hurt. I hated hearing him talk about Emily, my mother. He still grieved over the life he had lost with her. It broke my heart over and over again now that I knew the truth behind my father’s rock-and-roll image.
“Harlow is my world. I love her, and I will do anything to protect her. She’s my only concern. But she also wants this baby. I won’t force her to do something she doesn’t want to do.” Grant’s words sounded grave and tense.
Kiro continued to glare at him. “Really? Because you sure weren’t thinking about keeping her safe when you f**ked her without protection,” he snarled.
Grant flinched.
“Daddy, please stop this.”
“I didn’t know about her heart. I never would’ve . . .” Grant swallowed and took a deep, ragged breath. “Never would’ve done anything to hurt her. I had no idea she had this condition. I wasn’t trying to get her pregnant.”
“But you did,” Kiro said in a hateful tone. Then he turned his attention back to me. “You’ve always known you couldn’t have kids, Harlow. It wasn’t something we kept from you. I warned you all your life that you had to be careful and take care of yourself, that your heart wasn’t as strong as others’.”
I had lived in fear as a child because Kiro had convinced me that if I did anything exciting, my heart would stop working. I didn’t understand what was wrong with it, but I knew it was broken. I hated being broken. “I don’t want to live like I’m broken. I’m strong, Daddy. I’ve proved that over the years. I need you to believe me. Trust me that I can do this, because I’m going to. Grant can’t change my mind, you can’t change my mind, and no doctor can change my mind. I want this baby. I want our baby,” I said, reaching for Grant’s hand and threading my fingers through his.