“You probably already know this, but she weighs three pounds ten ounces, which is good. There are some milestones she must reach before she can be released from NICU. Normally, for a baby born two months early, it can take a couple of weeks to reach those.”
I wasn’t ready to take her home. She was so tiny. I was afraid to hold her. She looked breakable. I needed Harlow for this. She’d know what to do. She’d hold her and reassure her and do all those things.
“If you want to sit in the rocking chair over there and watch her, you can. She may wake up soon, and then you can meet your daughter.”
My daughter. I had a daughter. This little life was really a part of me. A part of Harlow. A sudden rush came over me, and I realized I loved this baby. I loved this baby completely. I adored her, and I didn’t even know her. She was ours.
“I want to stay, but the moment I’m allowed to see Harlow, I want someone to come get me. Immediately,” I stressed. She needed to hear my voice. She’d open her eyes when she heard my voice, and she’d know I was waiting for her. She had to. Lila Kate and I couldn’t do this without her. They just needed to let me back there to see her. She was waiting for me. I knew she was.
I sat down in the rocking chair directly across from where Lila Kate had her head turned. When she woke up, I would see her little eyes. I couldn’t tell who she looked like right now. She was so tiny she looked more like a baby doll than anything else.
Harlow had bought her an outfit to wear home from the hospital even before we knew if she was a boy or a girl. She had bought one for each gender, just in case. The little pink gown was packed in the hospital bag she had so lovingly prepared and left sitting on the changing table in the nursery. I was supposed to grab it when she went into labor, but things hadn’t happened the way we’d planned. My only goal at the time was to get Harlow to the hospital. I would have to send Blaire to the house to get what we needed. I wasn’t leaving this place. Not without my girls. Both of them.
Her little eyes fluttered and opened, and soon my daughter was staring straight at me. I stood up slowly, afraid I would startle her, and walked over to the incubator. I had been given gloves, and there were holes in the incubator so that I could reach in and touch her. When I stood over her, she followed my every move. I could almost see the curiosity in her little face.
“Hello, Lila Kate. It’s me, your daddy. We’ve spoken before but not face-to-face like this,” I told her as I eased a hand inside and touched her small hand with mine.
Tiny fingers wrapped around one of mine and held on as she continued to stare up at me. She needed me. That fact gripped me, and I wasn’t sure if I was terrified or humbled.
“You’re beautiful, just like your mommy. You’ll get to see her soon. We’re just waiting for her to wake up. We need her to wake up. She knows that. I’m gonna go tell her as soon as they’ll let me.”
The thumb of her other hand went straight to her mouth as she continued to gaze up at me. “You like that thumb, don’t you? Your mommy and I watched you do that when you were inside her. We got to see you kick and move around and suck that thumb on a screen. The doctor warned us you’d probably be a thumb sucker.”
She eased her grip on my finger, only to tighten it again. It was amazing how someone so small could hold on so tight.
“You’ll be out of this box soon, and then I can show you the world. We can show you. Your mommy and me. Your mommy has your room decorated for you. She’s spent a lot of time and love preparing it for your arrival. I look forward to the day the three of us walk into it together.”
Lila Kate blinked her eyes and continued to watch me as she sucked away on her thumb. Her little legs stretched out and bounced right back, like they were on a spring. I put my other arm in the other hole and took one of her little socked feet and removed the sock so I could look at her toes. They were short and, like the rest of her, perfectly proportioned. I held her little foot in my hand as she kicked and squirmed. It was smaller than my finger. Only half the length.
Once I was done examining her feet, I put her sock back on. She didn’t appear to be happy about it, because the kicking started up again with full force.
“Mr. Carter, Harlow’s father has arrived. Mr. Finlay said to come get you.”
Kiro was here. Time to face him. I understood his desire to kill me. Harlow was his world. She was a part of Emily, and the love he had for Emily spilled over onto Harlow. I understood that completely. Looking down at my own daughter, all I could see was her mother. In that moment, I learned that my heart was big enough to have two epic loves in my life.
“I’ll be back. I have to go deal with your grandfather. You’ll meet him soon enough. Prepare yourself. He’s a lot to take in,” I told her before pulling my hand out of the incubator, blowing her a kiss, and turning to leave.
I stopped at the door and looked at the nurse. “I’ll be back. I don’t want her left alone. Make sure she’s warm enough.”
The nurse smiled and nodded. “Yes, Mr. Carter. We will take care of her.”
“Thanks,” I replied, and headed to the waiting room.
I took the elevator back down to the waiting room and went to the closest nurses’ station before going back out there and talking to Kiro.
“Is there any new information on Harlow Manning? Her sister was here to give blood for the transfusion she needed. I want an update.”
The nurse nodded and picked up the phone. She spoke to the person on the other line, asked them about Harlow, then hung up and looked at me. “Are you her fiancé, Grant Carter?” the lady asked.