I almost pointed out that I didn’t know anything about Aidan. I came close to telling Dominic that there was nothing to worry about, because honestly, since finding out about Ray, I hadn’t even given Aidan another thought, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. As far as I was concerned, it was none of his business who I looked at. “You don’t have the right to play the concerned best friend card. Not anymore.”
Hot guilt pulsed over me and I almost took the words back. I felt like an insensitive jerk. Again, I wondered if he was trying to reach out because he needed someone to talk to about Ray’s death. I almost asked him if he was okay, but just before I opened my mouth, Marcy’s pointed look from yesterday flashed through my head and I bit my tongue. There was a reason Ray’s death was a secret. I didn’t understand why, and I really wasn’t sure if I should let on that I knew about it — yet.
He narrowed his eyes, not harshly, but as if he was trying to get a better look at me, and see something that may have been hidden under my words. “You’re not being fair,” he said after a long moment.
I glared at him. There really was nothing to say. He had abandoned me when I had needed him. Blew me off to climb the pack ranks. He had no right to try and tell me what was and wasn’t good for me. Not anymore. If he wanted to talk about Ray, then fine, I’d be there for him, but I wasn’t about to stand there and listen to him tell me what I could and couldn’t do.
He must have seen what I was thinking, or maybe he still just knew me that well, because he groaned. Dominic had a variety of groans. There was the long and drawn out, annoyed groan. The short but loud you’ve got to be kidding me groan. But this one was one that I knew well. It was the you are being so stubborn groan. “Jade, you’ve got to forgive me already. It’s been two years.”
I clenched my teeth, trying to keep my jaw from dropping. If it wasn’t for the look he was giving me, I probably would have laughed, but I could see that he was dead serious, and that made my head spin. “Exactly, it’s been two years since the last time you made an effort. Two years since the first time you pretended not to know me, and two years since you left me to find my own way home because the pack was more important. You’ve never even pretended to be sorry.”
Dominic crumbled at my words as if I had hauled off and punched him, and I almost felt bad — almost. He jammed his thumbs into the front pockets of his jeans and leaned against the counter, his shoulders hunched, and his gaze dropped to my stomach, as if he couldn’t look me in the face any longer. “I had to prove myself. They would have eaten me alive if I showed weakness, and you know it.”
“Don’t give me that crap,” I snapped, and banged my mug down on the counter. “Being a friend isn’t being weak. You’re just like the rest of them. You don’t give a crap who you stomp on.”
He groaned. It was the annoyed groan this time. “I’m trying to fix things. Stop being so stubborn.”
“It’s my natural defense, Dom,” I said, giving him a dirty look, “the one I use against idiots, bullshit, and stupidity, and since you’re here …” I waved my arm around, in an exaggerated gesture in his direction.
He smiled a sad sort of smile, and it caught me off guard. My stomach dropped, and my eyes prickled. I quickly blinked the tears away. There was no way he was going to see me hurting. Mad was one thing, but seeing me in pain … it wasn’t happening.
“You haven’t called me Dom in years.” His voice was soft, just barely a whisper, and I may have been mistaken, but I was pretty sure his eyes looked a bit misty.
I couldn’t even begin to count how many times I had wanted to have this conversation. How many times I had sat up all night waiting for him to call and want to fix things, but now that it was actually happening, it was the last thing I wanted to hear. “It’s too late to fix things.” I sighed, frustrated and angry and hurt, and I turned my back on him. “Just get out.”
I didn’t hear him move, and when the front door slammed, I jumped. Seconds later, his engine rumbled, and then his tires squealed as he peeled out of the driveway. My body shook, my fingers trembled, and with him gone, it was even harder not to cry.
CHAPTER 8
~ AIDAN ~
I was a wolf and she pretended not to see me.
Jade sat on the covered porch of a large log house, rocking back and forth on one of those dainty-looking, wire porch swings. She stared at what appeared to be a sketchbook in her lap. From where I sat, just past the tree line, in clear view of anyone who may have passed by, I watched as her blackened hand made sure and gentle strokes across the page. Every few seconds her hand would pause, and her head would tilt in my direction as she stole a glance, but she never once made eye contact.
That was a mistake.
If I had been any other wolf, she would have looked submissive. And submission would not get her to where I was starting to think she should be. It would only put her at risk. But as I watched, it was clear that this was not actually submission. It was power. A cool and calm remoteness. She did not look as if she was giving in. Rather, it was as if she was too important, too high in the ranks, to pay me any attention. She was above me. And my inner-wolf craved her attention and acceptance.
It was an odd feeling; one that I was not used to. She should have been the one feeling this way, not me. It was maddening, and confusing. She wasn’t even one of us. And in all honesty, part of me didn’t want her to be. The strength she emanated was intimidating. Crippling. What would it be like if she was part of the pack?
That morning, I had woken up determined to avoid her. There was no point in knowing her. Not now. The games had started. The challenging females had made themselves known. Getting to know her now would only put her in danger. I had sparked her interest, when we first met. Her scent had given her away and she wouldn’t give in easily; I was certain of it. And letting her know she had caught my attention would only make it harder. Jade didn’t strike me as the backing down type, and that would be deadly, definitely, maybe. This was my life now, and for the most part, it was a life that I wanted. And she was just a girl.
But Jade … she seemed to weasel her way back into my thoughts at the least expected moments. I wouldn’t say that I liked her, but she was undeniably intriguing. But then, that could have had something to do with Dominic hounding me last night to stay away from her, or maybe it was the way she had fought back yesterday. Whatever it was, she had caught my attention and refused to let go. And no matter how hard I tried to pretend that I had never met her, my brain wouldn’t let me forget.
For a few minutes, I had successfully pushed her out of the forefront of my mind, or I had until Dominic had shown up late for our meeting this morning. Not just a little late, but thirty minutes late. At first, I had thought that his hard eyes and pasty looking skin was directed at me, but then he had placed a hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Sorry I’m late.’ Except, it hadn’t been his words that had given him away, it had been the scent on his hand.
It was a scent that I knew, or that I thought I knew. Almonds with a splash of fruit punch. It tickled at my memory, like a niggling reminder of something that stayed just out of reach.
And it was because of that scent that I had found myself as a wolf, sitting under an oak tree, outside Jade’s house.
I hadn’t known where I was going until I had arrived here. The rain had temporarily stopped, but by the look of the blackened sky, it was bound to start again. My fur was drenched from running through the sodden woods, and I was starting to get cold, but I couldn’t make myself leave.
What was it about her that made Dominic so uptight? I had to know. Each time her name had been mentioned last night, whether it was by me or one of the girls bragging about their little stunt, he had stiffened, each muscle visibly coiling beneath his skin.
I stalked closer, inch by inch. I didn’t want to scare her away, but I had to get closer. Every animal instinct I had was insistently urging me to get her attention.
“Dominic, if that’s you, you can screw off.” She didn’t look up as she spoke, and her hand continued to move deftly across the page, stroke by sure stroke.
Her commanding tone stopped me, pinning me in place. Who was this girl? I felt myself shrink, crouching lower and bowing my head. My brain was screaming at me to show my dominance, but my inner-wolf shrank anyway.
I whimpered. I tried to swallow it, choke it down, but I couldn’t, and Jade’s head snapped up. Her stare was piercing, penetrating, and I bowed my head further. Who was this girl?
I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. When she finally dropped her eyes back to the page, my legs were trembling beneath me. I needed her approval. I didn’t think as I bounded up the porch steps. I whimpered again, and sat beside her, pressing my soaking wet body against her leg.
Jade stiffened, and a gasping sound hissed from her lips. I nosed her notebook, pushing it until it slid onto the swing beside her, and put my head on her lap. As I looked up into her big brown eyes, for a moment I thought she was going to push me away. She certainly looked as if she was considering it. But then, she smiled, a thin, tight-lipped smile, and placed a soft hand on my head. “I know, buddy,” she said, stroking my fur. “I miss you, too.”
~ JADE ~
It felt weird speaking to a wolf. I didn’t know if he understood me, but with the way he watched me, I thought he probably did. I buried my hand in his coarse fur, scratching his back, and he pressed into me further. He was soaking wet, and as he leaned against me, my jean-clad leg absorbed the moisture and the fabric clung to my calf and knee.
I wanted to say more. I wanted to yell at him, and laugh with him, and hug him. I wanted my Dominic back with every fiber in my body. This was the most attention he had given me in two years. I had tried so many times to talk to him, and he always pushed me away. This was my chance to get it all out, but instead of talking, I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him, as he littered my face with sloppy kisses.
It seemed like only yesterday that he was bitten. The memory was still clear in my mind, cemented there, unwavering and unyielding. We were walking through the park, after watching a stupid horror movie. Dominic was a Freddy Kruger fanatic, me, not so much. There was just something about dying in a dream that made my skin crawl.