Rooms - Page 63/64

But then Danny said, “Shit. Shit,” and Trenton knew it was not a dream.

“Who—who could have done this?” Caroline said. And then, without waiting for an answer, “Trenton, I need a drink. Please.”

But Trenton couldn’t move. The baby’s head was as small as an apple. It looked like it would blow apart to dust if he tried to touch it.

“Whoever buried her, it was a long time ago,” Danny said quietly.

“Her?” Minna said. “You think it’s a girl?”

Danny lifted an edge of the blanket, now hanging in tatters, that had once enfolded the child. Pink.

“Oh my God,” Caroline said, and turned away, cupping a hand over her mouth. Trenton felt a flicker of irritation—she was making this about her—and he hung on to it, tried to coax it into anger or some other familiar emotion.

“Amy made me dig under the willow tree,” Minna said, looking around the room as though she expected to be accused of unearthing the body deliberately. “She insisted. You know how Amy gets.” She turned pleading eyes to Trenton.

“What do we do with it—with her?” Trenton corrected himself quickly. Immediately, he wished he hadn’t asked. The words sounded so awful—like she was trash that needed to be dealt with.

Danny shook his head slowly. “I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know.” Then he straightened up. “We’ll take her downtown. There might be something in the archives, but I doubt it.” He reached out and lowered the lid of the box gently, and Trenton was glad.

“Jesus,” Caroline muttered.

Amy appeared at the door, her face mashed up against the screen. What is it, Mom?” She opened the door before anyone could stop her. “Why won’t you let me see?”

“Trenton, get her out of here,” Minna said sharply. To Danny she said, “We’ll follow you. In our car.”

“Come on, Amybear.” Trenton lifted Amy, grateful for the excuse to leave the room. She wrapped her legs around his waist. Her breath smelled like ginger ale, and he could feel her heart beating through her ribs. He imagined all the fine, fragile bones holding her together, the caverns of her lungs, the thin tissue fabric of her organs, so easily disintegrated, and felt suddenly like crying. “Want to help me pack up the cars?”

“We’re leaving?” Amy said.

“We’re leaving.” Trenton almost added, And never coming back. He knew it was true instinctively. They would never return to Coral River.

“What about Penelope?” Amy asked.

Trenton jogged her a little higher in his arms. Minna and Danny were speaking together in low voices, planning, figuring out who would drive Caroline to the station. “Who’s Penelope?” he asked.

“Penelope is the girl in the box,” Amy said, swinging her feet.

Minna went silent. Trenton froze. Caroline and Danny stared.

“What do you mean, Amy?” Minna whispered.

“The book!” Amy said, as if it was obvious. “In The Raven Heliotrope they put Penelope in the ground so she’ll come back to life.”

Minna was very white. “Oh my God.” She flinched. “Oh my God. She’s right.”

“They bury her under the willow tree,” Amy said happily, wiggling in Trenton’s arms. “It’s magic. And the tree learns to cry, and then Penelope can come back to life. Remember, Mommy?”

“I remember, sweetie.” Minna tried to smile and couldn’t. Her eyes met Trenton’s again. She looked old—older than she should have. He felt a message pass between them, strong and wordless. I love you, too. The words were there, suddenly, in his mind.

Amy was still babbling. “And then the army of Nihilis comes to raid the palace and drive out the Innocents.”

“All right, Amy,” Trenton said. He tried to sound cheerful. “You can tell me about The Raven Heliotrope while we get everything ready to go. Sound good?”

“But the Innocents escape through the tunnels and they burn the palace down so that the Nihilis die. It’s sad because they love the palace, but they have to burn it or else. The fire is so big it goes all the way to the sky.” Amy stretched her hands toward the ceiling, gesturing.

“Wow.” Something stirred in Trenton—a memory, an idea. Fire. “That’s pretty big.” Trenton pushed open the screen door with the toe of his sneaker. Outside, the sun was blazing, and the sky was white as ash.

ALICE

I didn’t mean for her to die. Believe this, if you believe anything.

I thought I could erase her. I thought I could will her back into nonexistence.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

That year, too, there was cottonseed. I remember how it trembled in the screens, like small alien creatures, sent to bear witness; how I wished that it were real snow and would bury me when I slept. Maybe I should have died. Maybe that’s what I deserved.

But I didn’t.

Ed was on his way home from the war.

I couldn’t return to my family. I had no close friends besides Thomas.

And Thomas, too, I meant to erase.

I’d heard rumors in Boston, when I still lived at home, about girls who’d gotten into trouble. There were doctors who’d do operations, I knew, but operations cost money; there were other ways. Pills and poison. A coat hanger, even.

I thought she would just vanish. One day I would be pregnant. And the next day: a chance to start over. I would be a better wife to Ed. I would learn to love him again. I would pray to God every day for forgiveness.

At least that part of the bargain, I kept.

But she held on. Little Penelope, my poor little Penelope, who didn’t know how to do anything but live. I swallowed bleach and took pills to make myself throw up. I prayed for her to wither, like a flower on a stalk. I even tried to fall down the stairs. But at the last second I couldn’t let go of the banister.

She came at last, Queen Penelope, riding a carpet of blood: blue and cold, like someone left too long in the ice. Wise Penelope. She refused to take even one breath of this new world, where mothers were monsters; and men were at war; and nothing and no one could be believed.

TRENTON

They were done in Coral River. Minna had arranged for Holly, a local woman who’d cleaned for her dad, to come later and deal with the dishes and trash from the memorial service. The luggage was loaded. Adrienne had gone, escorted to a motel in town by Danny’s partner. Richard Walker was buried, as he had requested, on the land he had loved.