She let out a frustrated sigh. “But that’s just it, Gray. That’s not what I want. I know I’m all mixed up, but what I want is a strong man. Someone who isn’t afraid to step up and call the shots, as you put it. I want, no I need that from the man I’m going to be involved with. I want…I want someone who will take care of me, who will cherish my gift of submission. Maybe that sounds horribly old-fashioned, but I’m tired of searching for something that obviously doesn’t exist.
“Maybe I went about it all wrong, but it doesn’t change what I want. I know what I want. I just haven’t figured out how to go about getting it yet.”
She stood, suddenly possessed with the need to get the hell out of there. After all, she’d made a big enough ass of herself for one day. Maybe she’d go cry on Micah’s shoulder. Or maybe she’d just go home and try to forget this day ever happened.
She chanced one more look at him and found him staring at her in faint shock. There was an odd expression in his eyes like he was puzzling over her words. Which wouldn’t surprise her, since she’d made a muck of everything else.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Truly, I am.”
She headed for the door, only anxious to be as far away from any more self-discovery as possible.
“Faith, wait,” he called, but she didn’t stop.
She picked up her pace and hurried out the door.
CHAPTER 24
Gray watched her go, helpless frustration seizing his throat. Had he gotten her completely wrong? She’d looked so lost and confused, and then she’d spoken with such conviction about what she wanted.
He’d assumed she was playing sex games. Wanting her little kinky thrills without the veil of realism. But as he’d listened to her pour her heart out, he’d become more convinced that he’d misjudged her. Could it be possible that he’d found a woman who wanted the same things he did from a relationship?
She seemed unsteady, a little unsure, as if she was just spreading her wings and preparing to fly in uncharted airspace. And he’d shot her down.
What a mess. He couldn’t afford to get involved with her, not at least until the whole situation with Samuels and her mother could be resolved. He was using her, which in essence was what he’d accused her of doing to him. He winced at the hypocrisy.
For the first time in his life, he felt real doubt over a woman. He needed to get back perspective. Remember why he was here in the first place. A call to Mick should do just that. He needed an update on the case anyway, because it sure as hell hadn’t been uppermost on his mind for the last several days.
He rose from the bed and dropped the towel on the floor. He walked to his chest of drawers nude and rummaged for underwear, jeans and a shirt.
A few seconds later, he dialed Mick’s number and waited for his answer.
“Got any news for me?” Mick asked with no preamble.
“I was hoping you had some for me,” Gray said. “Other than the one phone conversation, I’ve come up with nothing. Her mother hasn’t called back since.”
Mick grunted. “Last report I got was the one where they were spotted in Huntsville. That was several days ago, so I’m sure they’ve moved on by now.”
“How are you getting those reports, Mick? Is the department investigating Samuels now?”
Silence registered on Mick’s end. “What are you insinuating, son?”
Gray blinked in surprise. “I didn’t realize I was insinuating anything. I wanted to know if the department had come around and focused on Samuels or not. What’s the latest on their investigation?”
Mick made a sound of disgust. “Rat bastards, the lot of them.”
“Maybe I should call and see what progress has been made,” Gray said.
“Nah,” Mick said quickly. “You’re supposed to be on leave. If they get wind of what you’re doing, your ass will be in a sling. I’ve got a contact there, an old buddy of mine who is keeping me informed of what’s going on. Or not going on as is the case.”
Gray shrugged. “Well, I’m not coming up with much on my end either. While I’m convinced that Faith’s mother is mixed up with some worthless piece of shit guy, I’m not sure it’s the same piece of shit who shot Alex. I’m operating on little to no knowledge over here.”
“You’re doing me a favor,” Mick said shortly. “That’s all you need to know. I know the bastard shot my son. If I had left the investigation to Billings, we’d still be pissing in the wind trying to come up with a suspect.”
Gray bit the inside of his cheek. He knew Mick’s emotions were raw, but his grating attitude was not something Gray was in the mood for right now. Especially since he was the one down here chasing his tail around his ass.
Which begged the question; why was he down here chasing a hunch? Mick hadn’t given him anything too substantive, but Gray owed him, and Alex was his partner. If Mick was right about who killed Alex, and the department wasn’t doing shit about it, then Gray damn well wasn’t going to back off.
“Look, son.” Mick’s voice became more cajoling. “I know this isn’t easy for you, down there cozying up to a skirt who’s probably as worthless as her mother. I know you’re anxious to be back on the job. Just give it a little longer. My gut tells me Samuels is heading down there. Shadow the daughter for a few more days. If nothing turns up, then you can come on home and forget all about it.”
Gray clenched his teeth together. He wasn’t going to defend Faith to Mick, because it would only send the older man into a tizzy.
“I’ll keep you posted,” he said shortly.
“Thanks, son,” Mick said, but Gray wasn’t feeling all that charitable toward the guy. Not when he knew the use of the endearment was his subtle way of manipulating Gray.
He hung up, more irritated than ever. He clasped the back of his neck and rubbed at the tense muscles. What the hell was he going to do? He no longer had a lot of faith in the reason he was here.
If nothing else, he could stick around and see this to the end, or at least see if Faith’s mother made an appearance with her deadbeat boyfriend.
Then he could return to his job, put Alex’s memory to rest and hopefully ease some of Mick’s grief. And maybe his own.
An odd tightening in his chest and a surge of sadness caught him by surprise. Nothing it seemed he did lately turned out any good. He hadn’t been able to save his partner, and he’d just shit on a beautiful woman.
Yeah, life was real good.
CHAPTER 25