“Are you listening to me?” Raleigh’s high-pitched scream snapped me out of my thoughts.
Raleigh and I were a particular kind of couple: She liked being on my arm, and I liked the way her body looked. There was no love or trust between us. We had been dating for over a year, and she was easy to keep at a distance. And right now that’s all I had the time for.
“Listen, Ray, I’m getting a headache. I need a break. Let’s take a break, and we’ll talk about it next week, yeah?” I didn’t wait for her to respond, and hung up. I already knew it would be yelling and threats about how she’d go sleep with one of my friends. I’d heard it all before.
I just didn’t care.
I picked up the pace and headed across the grass and between the trees to the open field where the parties always took place. The field belonged to Ryker and Nash Lee’s grandfather. They were cousins and both played on the team. Their grandfather had been letting people use this field for parties since his sons had been in high school. It was just on the outskirts of the town limits, and their grandfather’s house was the closest thing to us. And even that was a good mile away. We could make plenty of noise and not worry about nosy neighbors watching our every move.
I scanned the field and found Brady Higgens, my best friend since elementary school. He’d been passing me the football since we were in Pop Warner. Best quarterback in the state and he knew it.
Brady held up a beer in greeting when he saw me coming toward him. He was sitting on the tailgate of his truck, which he’d driven up here so we could use the generator in the back to play music. Ivy Hollis was tucked between Brady’s legs. No surprise. They’d been together a lot this summer. Ivy was a senior and head cheerleader and determined to claim Brady now that his ex-girlfriend had graduated and moved halfway across the country.
“’Bout time you showed up,” Brady said with a smirk, tossing me a can of beer. He rarely drank. It wasn’t that he was against it, but he was determined to play at the University of Alabama next year. I had been too—once. Now I was just making it day to day, praying to God my dad didn’t leave us.
Beer had become a crutch for me at these field parties. The anxiety from home was all over me, and I knew it. I needed to numb my mind.
I’m pretty sure Brady figured something was up and wanted me to tell him. Of all the women in town, his momma was the only one who was ever nice to my mother. She’d invited us to dinner many times over the years. She brought us red velvet cake during the holidays and always stopped and spoke to my mother at the games. I wondered if my mother had confided in Coralee.
“Where’s Raleigh?” Ivy asked.
I ignored her. Just because she was with Brady didn’t mean I had to answer her nosy-ass questions. I turned my attention to Gunner Lawton. Yeah, same damn name as the town’s. The guy’s great-great-great-grandfather founded it. They owned everything. He was one hell of a wide receiver, though, and around here that was what counted most.
“You alone tonight too?” I asked as I sank down on the bale of hay beside the truck.
He chuckled. “You know better. I’m just trying to decide who I want,” he replied with a smirk. All Gunner had to do was crook his finger, and the girls came running. Sure, he was obnoxious about it, but when you’re richer than God in a small town and one of the stars of the high school football team, you have a whole lot of power. And girls liked his looks, too.
“Let’s talk football,” Ryker Lee announced as he walked into our circle and sat down on the tailgate beside Brady and Ivy.
“I’d rather talk about the fact that you shaved your hair,” Brady replied with a grin.
Last year Ryker had been determined to grow out his hair and get dreads. I’d been surprised to see he’d cut his hair short the first day of practice. He’d gone with his family to visit his grandmother in Georgia, so we hadn’t seen him the last few weeks of summer.
“I got tired of it. I’ll have dreads when I play pro. Right now I don’t need that shit,” he replied, and ran his hand over his head. Looked like he was gonna say something else, but then he stood up and just started staring out over the field and grinning like an idiot. “Actually, screw football. I’d rather talk about who that is.”
I followed his gaze to see a face I didn’t recognize. She was standing just on the outskirts of the party near the rows of trees. Long dark brown hair hung in soft waves over her shoulders and the prettiest green eyes I’d ever seen looked in our direction. I let my gaze move down to her mouth to see perfect unpainted pink lips.
Then there was her body. Holy hell, she made a sundress look good.
“Don’t go there,” Brady warned. I wanted to look at him, to read on his face why he was laying claim to the new girl when he had one tucked between his legs. But I couldn’t stop looking at her. She seemed lost. And I was ready to go find her.
“Why, bro? She’s hot as hell, and she looks like she needs me,” Ryker replied.
“She’s my cousin, dipshit,” Brady snapped.
His cousin? Since when did he have a cousin?
I tore my gaze off the girl to finally look at Brady. “When did you get a cousin?”
He rolled his eyes. “You’ve met her. Like, years ago at one of my family Christmas things in Tennessee. She’s living with us now. Just don’t, okay? She’s not . . . She’s got some issues. She can’t handle you,” he said, then turned to look at Ryker and added, “or you.”
“I can help with issues! I’m fucking great at that,” Ryker replied, a big grin on his face.
I wasn’t going to say the same thing. I had my own issues and I needed an escape, not more shit to deal with. Besides, her issues couldn’t be as bad as mine. No one’s could.
Brady went on. “She doesn’t talk. She can’t. I only brought her tonight because my momma made me. I told her she could stay with me, but she refused to. She’s not all there, I don’t think.”
I glanced back at her, but she was gone. So, Brady had a beautiful but crazy, mute cousin. Weird.
“Shame. This year we get one new girl worth looking at and she’s your cousin and a mute,” Gunner said before drinking down the rest of his beer.
Brady didn’t like that comment, didn’t like it at all. I could see it on his face.
Gunner was right, though. We’d had the same girls in this town since elementary school. They were boring, superficial, and I’d slept with all the good-looking ones. No one was a distraction. They were all just annoying as hell.
Gunner stood up. “Going to get another beer,” he announced then walked off. Gunner was our security around here. If we got caught drinking, his daddy would have enough pull with the police to get us off the hook. I actually wondered if they already knew about it and that was why they never drove out this way.
My phone started ringing again, and my stomach automatically clenched. I quickly got it out of my pocket and saw my momma’s name on the screen. Shit.
Without any explanation to the guys, I just set my beer down and walked off before answering.
“Momma? Everything okay?”
“Oh yes. Just wanted you to know I left you some fried chicken in the oven to keep it warm. Also, if you could stop by the Walmart and grab some milk on your way home, that would be good.”
I let out the breath I’d been holding. Dad was okay. “Sure, yeah, Momma. I’ll get the milk.”
“You gonna be out late?” she asked, and I noticed her voice was tense. There was something she wasn’t telling me. Dad must be sick or hurting.
“I, no, uh, I’ll be home soon,” I assured her.
She let out a relieved sigh. “Good. Well, you drive careful. Wear your seat belt. I love you.”
“Love you too, Momma.”
I ended the call just as I got to where I’d parked my truck. I’d already been walking out, prepared to leave even before she’d asked if I’d be home late. It was all getting worse. Dad was hardly able to get out of bed anymore. Motherfucking doctors couldn’t do anything for him.
My chest tightened, and it became hard to breathe. This had been happening more and more lately. It was like all my fears grabbed ahold of my throat and squeezed until I couldn’t inhale.
Anger began to pump through my veins. This wasn’t goddamn fair! My dad was a good man. He didn’t deserve this. God was up there just letting this shit happen. And my sweet momma, she needed my dad. She didn’t deserve this either.
“Fuck!” I roared as I slammed both hands down on the hood of my truck. This was destroying all of us, and I couldn’t tell anyone. Dealing with sympathy from people who had no idea how this felt would be more shit I didn’t need.
A movement from the left caught my attention, and I jerked my head to see who had witnessed my breakdown.
The sundress was the first thing I recognized. Her curvy body filled it out just perfectly.
That girl was so lucky she couldn’t talk. She didn’t have to pretend for anyone. She didn’t have to say the right thing or act a certain way.
She tilted her head to the side as if she were studying me, deciding if I were dangerous or if I needed help. All that gorgeous hair and those full lips could certainly help. Help me forget for a moment. Forget this hell my life had become.