“So what’s the story on those two?” Lily asked. “Am I the only one in the dark here? Seth said very little. Just that they were here to protect you. He nearly gave me a heart attack and then he had to spend the next half hour assuring me that someone wasn’t trying to kill you or something.”
Lauren put her hand over Lily’s. “I’m sorry he worried you. It’s really nothing. I’m more than a little embarrassed over it all. I kept important information from Max and from Noah and Liam. Max hired them months ago. Before I came here at Christmas. It was when I got the nerve to leave . . . Joel . . . and finally called Max for help. But I didn’t tell them the truth about who I was involved in.”
Callie wrinkled her nose. “Why?”
Lauren sighed. “I know it sounds stupid.”
“No, no,” Lily rushed to say. “We don’t think you’re stupid at all, Lauren. I’m so proud of you for having the guts to walk away from that jerk. But why would you protect him?”
Lauren shook her head emphatically. “I was never protecting him. I was trying to protect Max. And Noah and Liam. I knew if Max knew the truth, he’d go after Joel. He was furious at the time. And Joel was—is—involved in illegal activities. I doubt I even know the extent of it. He has many people on his payroll, including cops. If Max or Noah and Liam were to threaten him in any way, who’s to say he wouldn’t have them killed? It sounds dramatic and over the top, but you have to understand the kind of man Joel is. I honestly just wanted as far away from him as possible and I want to forget he exists.”
Callie wrapped her arm protectively around Lauren and squeezed fiercely. “Of course you do and I don’t blame you a bit. Besides, who wouldn’t want to be protected by two hunks like Noah and Liam?” she added cheekily.
Lily laughed and Lauren relaxed. She was surrounded by dear friends. Family. Women she cared deeply about and who loved her in return. This was what she loved most about being with the Colters. The freedom to be herself. To confide, discuss, laugh and joke.
No one told her how to act. Hugs were given as freely as breathing. Someone was always touching, showing affection. No one blinked an eye over it.
The ache inside her grew until she rubbed her chest to alleviate the discomfort.
How wonderful would it be if she and Noah and Liam could live right here in these mountains, surrounded by the family who’d made Lauren one of their own?
Chapter 11
ON the drive home, Lauren stared out the window as dusk settled over the mountains. She’d enjoyed herself. She always did. Any time she was feeling down, she could count on a visit with the Colters to pick her up.
They made her believe that things would get better. They always did.
But one thought that had passed through her mind, sitting in Holly’s kitchen, haunted her.
She’d wished for a happily ever after with Noah and Liam, right here in these mountains, surrounded by her family and the people she loved.
How realistic was that?
The stark truth was that it wasn’t at all realistic. Noah’s and Liam’s lives were in New York. Their business was in New York. And when they had ascertained that there was no longer a threat to her, whether they remained in a relationship with her or not, they’d move on to another job, guarding other people. Providing personal security. In New York City.
The mere thought of being in the same city as Joel Knight, no matter how huge the city was or how unlikely it was that they’d ever cross paths, sent her into complete panic.
What if he knew, even now, what she’d done? She hadn’t been that careful. She didn’t know enough about computers to know if what she’d done could be discovered. He might have known that she’d been through his files the moment she disappeared.
As much as she’d tried not to focus on him, as much as she’d tried to shove him from her mind and move on with her life, how did she know that he wasn’t looking for her?
She’d made a big deal to the other women that she’d wanted to protect Max and Noah and Liam, and that was true, but she also feared coming into contact with him again in case he knew what she’d stolen.
It was laughable that she’d even done such a stupid thing. Especially when she had no plans to do anything with the information she’d copied from his computer. At the time, in her fragile mind, it had been an insurance policy. So that if he did ever come after her, she could threaten him.
Which made her the biggest idiot in the world. Threaten a man like Joel Knight? He could squash her like a bug and never blink an eye. She was nobody. Certainly not someone strong enough to stand up to him and back him into a corner.
She’d vowed to herself that she’d stop beating herself up over her past mistakes, but it was hard sometimes when she thought back on just how brainwashed she’d been; and then when she’d finally been gutsy enough to get out, she’d all but ensured that if he discovered what she’d taken, he’d never simply let her go and forget about her.
It was something she needed to confide in Noah and Liam. She knew she needed to tell them, but the words simply wouldn’t come. Maybe they were right in that she didn’t fully trust them yet. Maybe in time she’d feel at ease with confessing her stupidity. She just knew that right now wasn’t the time. She had to be more sure of them—of her and them.
“You’re quiet, baby,” Liam said from the backseat.
She started, suddenly aware of just how zoned out she’d been, immersed deeply in her thoughts and recriminations.
Noah reached over from the driver’s seat to take her hand, and he laced their fingers together.
“Everything okay?” Noah asked. “Did you enjoy your visit?”
Lauren smiled. No question there. “I love the Colters. Being with them always makes me happy.”
“I’ll admit, I wasn’t sure what to expect,” Liam said. “It sounds pretty incredible when someone explains the kind of relationship the Colter men have with their wives. But then when you see them together, you don’t even question it. It’s so obvious they belong together and that it works for them.”
He broke off for a long moment, and then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the edges of Lauren’s and Noah’s seats.
“I want that for us, Lauren. That sense of rightness. The closeness. I want for people to look at us and say the same things we say about the Colters.”
Lauren turned as much in her seat as the seat belt allowed. Noah was focused on the road, but it was apparent that he was tuned in completely to the conversation.
She sighed, allowing her earlier unhappiness to escape. It was impossible to keep her mouth from turning down.