Carry On - Page 94/129

“Nobody’s seducing a vampire,” I say.

Baz frowns at me.

“Unless,” I say, “we could convince your aunt—”

“No.”

“I don’t know how you’re going to get this vampire to confess to murder,” Agatha says flatly, “when you can’t even get Baz to tell you where he was for two months.”

“He was ill,” Penny says. She turns to Baz. “Weren’t you? You said you were ill. You certainly looked ill.”

“He wasn’t ill,” Agatha says. “Dev said he was missing.”

Baz’s lip curls. “Dev told you that?”

“I told you your relatives are betrayers,” Penny says.

Baz sneers some more. “He only told Agatha because he has a dirty crush on her.”

“See,” Penny says, “I told you we could use Agatha to seduce people.”

“You said you were ill,” I say to Baz.

He looks at me, narrows his eyes into a glare, then looks away. “I was ill,” he says, crossing one leg over the other and smoothing out his dark trousers. “But I was also missing.”

“Where were you?” I demand.

He meets my eyes again, still glaring, “I really don’t think this is relevant—”

“Everything is relevant,” Penny says.

“I—” He clears his throat and looks down at his knees. “—was kidnapped.”

I sit up. “Kidnapped?”

“Kidnapped,” he repeats, then clears his throat again. “By numpties.”

“Numpties?” Penny says. “Was it an accident? Did they mistake you for a hot water bottle?”

“They put a bag over my head while I was leaving the club, actually.”

Agatha sits up. “You were kidnapped at the club?”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” I ask.

“Well, I tried,” he says. “I guess nobody heard me shouting from inside the coffin.”

I’m still holding a sandwich. I drop it. “The numpties kept you in a coffin? For two months?”

“Six weeks,” he mutters. “And I think they thought they were doing me a favor, with the coffin.…”

Penny shoves his shoulder. “Basil. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Why didn’t I tell you?” He’s glaring at her now. “Think about it: Who would pay numpties to kidnap the heir to the House of Pitch? Who has it out for my family right now? Who’s raided my house twice in the last month—who threw my cousin in a tower?”

“Not the Mage,” I say.

“Of course the Mage!” Baz has got both his hands in his pockets, and he’s leaning forward over his crossed legs, his elbows flaring out. “He thought he could terrify my parents, so they’d co-operate with his latest campaign. It must drive him mad to see me at school and know I got away from him! Why didn’t I tell you? ‘Hey, Simon, your Jedi master is out to get me, do we still have a truce?’”

“How did you get away?” I ask.

“Fiona found me. She’s fearless.”

“That’s why you were so thin,” I say. “And pale. And why you’re still limping. Did they hurt you?”

He sits back, looking down at his lap. “Not intentionally, I don’t think. They did something to my leg when they caught me, and it didn’t get a chance to heal.”

“You should go see my dad,” Agatha says.

“Is he a vampire doctor now?”

“Was there a ransom?” Penny asks.

“Yeah,” Baz says. “My family wouldn’t pay it. Pitches don’t negotiate for hostages.”

“If I’m ever kidnapped at the club,” Agatha says, “tell my parents to pay the ransom.”

“My aunt found me with a souped-up finding spell,” Baz says. “She canvassed most of London.”

“I would have helped,” I say. “It wouldn’t have taken six weeks with me helping.”

Baz is scornful. “You never would have helped my family.”

“I would! It was driving me mental not knowing where you were. I thought you were going to jump out from every corner.”

“It wasn’t the Mage…,” Penny says. Thoughtfully.

“This is why I didn’t tell you lot,” Baz says. “I knew you wouldn’t believe me. You’re so convinced that the Mage is a hero—”

“No,” Penny cuts him off. “It wasn’t the Mage, Baz—it was the murderer!”

“I thought it was numpties…,” Agatha says.

“It was the same person who sent vampires after your mother!” Penny says, jumping to her feet. “They knew that the Veil was lifting, and that there was a good chance your mum would come back to talk to you. It was a classic Visit—a dangerous secret, a crime against justice. The traitor was worried that Natasha Pitch might come back, and knew that she’d come back to you. So he—or she, I guess—hid you. This used to happen all the time! There’s a family in Scotland who lost a different family member every twenty years because the murderer kept killing the person most likely to avenge the previous deaths. No one wanted a ransom for you, Baz—they just wanted you tucked away until the Visitings were over.”

Baz looks at her. Licks his lips. “Not the Mage?” he asks.