After eating some berries and listening to music, I pluck off my earphones, plump my campout pillow, and drift off to sleep, dreaming that I’m lost at night inside a green forest, running in a man’s shirt, and when Gina, Helen, and my mom shout for me to come out, I can never find my way out of the deep.
I wake up with a start, sweaty and breathless and staring around in confusion. I’m at the campout. Shivering, I pull out my phone and then blink when I see I’ve got a message.
If I can’t drive you home yet, then at least let me pick you up and take you someplace.
I stare at the text from an unknown number with a wildly pounding heart and a tangle inside my stomach. I know it’s him, it has to be him. I think of him and his shirts and his stares and his grapes. I think of his yacht and his secrets and the ice in his eyes and the way he stares at me like he wants me to melt all of those mysterious icicles in him. I think of how restless I feel and how I can’t focus on anything else . . . and then I think of the exposé and struggle to center myself with that one goal, that one wish. Exhaling, I text back:
I wouldn’t object to a tour of the Interface headquarters
Done
I bite my lip, things that feel like butterflies now seizing me. These have to be story butterflies but I’ve never gotten them like this. Before I can stop myself I text:
Don’t you sleep?
Not when I don’t want to
I blush. God, is he womanizing right now? He could be such a great guy for one special girl, it’s depressing he lets everyone have a piece of him somehow.
You? Why are you awake now, Rachel?
Your text woke me, I write.
Sweet dreams then, Rachel
I close my eyes and think of his face in the YouTube video, his face at the club after he saw me, his face always so closed off and mysterious, as if he refuses to let anyone see and know who he really is or what he really wants from them.
Same to you—if you want to dream, that is
Oh, I sound so dumb. Urgh. Setting my phone down as if it’s suddenly a snapping alligator I just encountered in my scary green dream forest, I don’t sleep one wink.
11
OFFICE
At least my writing has benefited from my growing obsession with this tormenting fascination that has nowhere to go. This thirst for information is leaking into my writing, into anything I turn my attention to. I’m like a glutton craving something in particular but stuffing herself on whatever she can get her hands on in the meantime. Even if it’s information on something else.
“This piece is phenomenal!” Helen says. “Such fire. I can’t wait to see what you do with the Saint piece. What’s the dibs on that?”
I gasp. “What?”
She smiles and taps the notebook on my desk with one word, underlined until the page tore.
DIBS.
She props her hip on my desk, and I feel Victoria nearly fall out of her chair in her eagerness to hear what I have to say.
“None,” I say, taking the tablet and putting it aside. Really, so I’m doodling “dibs” now?
“Oh, what do you mean, none?” She turns. “Victoria, Victoria.” She crooks a finger and Victoria gets up and walks over, casual as can be.
“Helen?” she says. “Hi, Rachel.” She beams.
“Help me get Rachel in with that stylist who always has you looking so spectacular? With this face”—she tips my chin up—“there’s no way Saint should be able to keep himself from hunting her down. Thank you, Vicky,” she says, sliding into her office.
With Victoria near, I suddenly wish I’d said I’d made moderate progress. I wish I’d said anything to keep me from having to see her enormous, gloating smile. I can almost hear her thinking that I can’t even write a piece without her help. That I can’t get a man without her help.
“It’s not necessary, really,” I tell her.
“Oh nonsense, I know just what you need. I’m going to borrow this for a second,” she says, gesturing to my landline. So she calls her stylist and hums while she waits, and I need to save and close my file because nothing can mess with my mojo as much as someone sneeking a peek at my screen.
I sit there, feeling like a loser and peering into my phone when I see Dean’s message.
Mr. Saint would like to give you a tour of the Interface corporate headquarters. Let me know if this is of interest; he’s looking forward to seeing you.
My toes curl a little and my cheeks are red. Fuck. I text back:
I’m looking forward to seeing him.
Oh god. Seeing him? I’m meeting with him, not seeing him. Professional. That’s all. What will I do when I see him again?
I pull out a picture of him I downloaded on my phone and peek at it. His profile is so perfect. He’s the only guy I’ve ever had a picture of in my phone—it came from one of the girls who tagged him, and since it got downloaded it’s somehow stayed in my phone. I haven’t been able to erase it.
Considering Saint erased my picture, I should do the same, but a part of me enjoys being able to look at him while he’s not watching me. And this picture . . . I’m pretty sure this picture was taken that day on the yacht, and what he’s staring at in the distance is me. Something about his unreadable expression demands that I figure him out.
Victoria slams down my office phone. “Done. I’ve got an in for you next week on Friday. Be ready to make Saint weep!” she declares, patting the top of my head and leaving me staring down at my phone to Dean’s new message.
Great. We’ll have a car at your place on Thursday at 4 p.m.
12
THURSDAY
Thursday.
At 4:01 p.m., I’m exiting my building.
“Oh, I’ll get the door for you, Miss Sheppard.”
Our neighbor from the third floor (who makes killer coffee cakes every holiday) seems to have been out walking her dog, her cat nestled in her arm. “Rachel, you look lovely with your hair down.” The cat purrs as she strokes the back of its ear. “I can’t even think of an actress as blonde and fair-skinned as you. Who did your makeup? It’s so natural.”
“My roommate, Gina.” I hold the door open for her. “She works in a department store, in cosmetics, and we’re trying out different looks on me.”
“Ah, yes. The day I have a ball and a pretty dress, I’ll go visit her.”
Her dog yaps at my ankle and I wince a little but stand my ground, then turn back to the street once she’s inside. I freeze. Instead of the Rolls, Saint’s black and shiny BUG 1 is parked just outside.