Cassie bit on her bottom lip as she struggled to keep hold of the anger and shame threatening to consume her. Tremors rocked her, tears burned her eyes, but she would not allow herself to shed them. She had to get her act together, and she had to do it soon. She was overtired right now, that was her whole problem. She just needed some sleep.
Fighting to keep hold of her wildly swaying emotions, she glanced around the converted garage. It was packed full of weapons, punching bags, and exercise equipment. Luther had added onto the two car garage a couple years ago, making it twice as big as its original size. She had spent a lot of time in this room, poured a lot of sweat, and shed more than a few tears along with some blood.
And she hated it, she hated everything that this room represented and the change it had brought to her life. She kept her hate hidden though, kept it locked away, buried beneath the fear and terror that she didn’t allow to show. Turning away from the metal swords and crossbows strapped to the wall, she focused her attention on Luther, Melissa, and Chris.
“It’s time to go home,” she said softly.
“Yes, yes,” Luther agreed. “Rest for the next night and then we’ll hit it hard again tomorrow.”
Cassie nodded, though the last thing she wanted was to ever have to come back here. However, she didn’t have an option. She would have to come back over and over again until they left town, or she died. Both options sucked.
“Will you be ok after tonight?” She nodded in response to Luther’s question. His aggravation had been replaced with a deep worry that rattled her. He was the closest thing to a father she had, and right now he looked completely terrified for her. She didn’t like it one bit. “Are you sure?”
“Cassie.” She turned toward Melissa, hating the knowledge in her onyx eyes. Though Cassie had not mentioned her dreams to anyone, or her bizarre attraction to Devon, Melissa saw far more than Cassie wanted her to. But then, she always did. “Maybe a sleeping pill would help you.”
Cassie hid her surprise, nodding briskly as she turned toward Chris. He offered her a wan smile as he held his arm out to her. Though she loved them both dearly, there were times when she wished they didn’t know her so well, or possess such probing gifts. Hiding her irritation, she slipped her arm into Chris’s, squeezing it briefly as she leaned against his side.
She had always hated taking any medicine, but maybe she should take a pill tonight, she was so damn tired she could barely see straight anymore. And if she didn’t get some sleep soon, she was scared that she would break completely.
CHAPTER 7
“Is this a dream?”
Cassie stood across the clearing from him, her golden hair tumbling in a riotous mass about her bared, creamy shoulders. The white dress she wore billowed gently about her bare feet. She was stunning, breathtaking, and he knew that if his heart could still beat it would have stopped at the sight of her. The soft breeze pushed strands of hair around her delicate features. She reached up, pulling it back as it drifted across one of her eyes.
Her eyes drifted away, a small smile played over her mouth as she stared at the pristine lake in the middle of the field. Her toes curled into the thick grass beneath her bare feet as her smile widened. “Beautiful,” she breathed.
He completely agreed, but his gaze did not stray from her. She turned slowly back to him, her head tilted to the side as she studied him questioningly. “You’re everywhere,” she whispered.
He started slightly, his hands fisted at his sides. His own bare feet curled into the springy grass he stood upon. The long blades tickled slightly, but he ignored them as he took a small step toward her. For a moment fear flashed through her eyes, she didn’t move away from him though. “Am I?” he inquired softly, his entire body aching to touch her, to hold her, to pull her close to him.
“Yes.” Though she looked like she wanted to bolt, she didn’t move. “You’re in my school and my thoughts, and you haunt my dreams.” She turned slowly back toward the lake, her delicate brow furrowed slightly. “But this one is so very real.” The words were a bare whisper; the surprise was evident and raw in her voice. “So real. It must be that pill I took.”
He stopped moving for a moment. “Pill?” he inquired.
She turned back to him, her eyes somber and distant. “Yes. I needed to sleep. I had to sleep before I dropped.” She shook her head, causing her hair to cascade around her. “But you make it so very difficult for me to function at all, never mind sleep. I hate taking medication though, and apparently these pills cause some intense dreams. I can feel the grass, actually feel it beneath my feet. That is so odd!”
“Yes,” he agreed, because he could find no other words for her. He made it difficult for her to function! If she only knew what she did to him on a daily, hourly, secondly basis! And yet he couldn’t stop the elation that filled him, this may only be a dream, but there was also something different about it, something very real and solid. Something that made him believe that she was actually standing there with him, that she was actually expressing her true emotions.
“Cassie,” he breathed, suddenly needing to touch her with a desperation that bordered on insanity.
Fear trickled across her amazing features, horror widened her eyes, but she did not move as he stepped closer to her. Instead, a resignation seemed to settle over her. The fear faded as need and desire suddenly blazed to fierce life within her. “I don’t want to fight my dreams anymore,” she whispered.
A single tear trickled down her cheek as he stopped before her. He could almost feel the fierce beat of his heart, almost feel the pulse pounding through his veins as he reached out and gently wiped the single, shimmering tear from her face. Her eyes were wide with awe and wonder as she watched him. Her cheek was silken beneath his thumb as he caressed her.
This was the strangest dream he had ever had, and he didn’t give a damn. It was also the best one he’d ever had. “Cassie,” he whispered again, leaning closer to her. All he wanted to know was what her mouth would feel like, what her wonderful lips would be like against his. All he wanted to know was how she would taste. All he wanted was to hold her and feel her.“Devon.” Her hand, delicate and small, came up to his. Her fingers wrapped tightly around his, her breath caught in her throat as her eyelids drifted down to shadow her eyes. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” she breathed. “I think I wanted this even before I met you. I think I knew you were out there somewhere. It makes no sense.” She shook her head in confusion. “I am so glad this is only a dream. I sound like an idiot.”
“Never,” he whispered fervently, relishing in every one of her baffled thoughts. He was so very glad to hear that she felt as confused and desperate as he did. “I understand exactly what you mean.” And he truly did. Though the feelings made no sense, and he did not understand how they could be so strong when he hardly knew her, they were very real, and very true.
Her eyes sparkled with amusement; the bright amethyst flecks in them were bright in the midmorning sun. She was the most achingly innocent, beautiful woman he had ever met. And she was far too good for him. He should stay away from her; he should flee while he still could. It would be far safer for her if he walked out of her life, he would only bring her heartache and misery, no matter how much he didn’t want to.
But he could not bring himself to move. Even though this was only a dream, he knew that whatever happened within this world would change their waking world also. And he fervently wanted for their waking world to change. Fervently wanted to be able to touch her, and feel her, and speak with her for real. His hand trembled on her cheek for a moment, he needed this. He needed her.
“Tell me no,” he whispered.
Her smile widened. “I don’t want to.”
His deadened heart seemed to kick start again at her words. Joy and desire tore through him as his hand wrapped around the back of her skull, savoring in her silken hair. He pulled her gently toward him, tilting her head up. Her eyes drifted closed, her lips parted on a soft sigh. Her sweet breath washed over him as he brought his mouth to hers.
Electricity surged through him, for the first time in so many centuries he felt alive again, and so completely whole. She eased the aching loneliness inside of him, made him forget his entire awful existence. She was everything good and right in the world, she was everything that he had been searching for, and she was completely his.
Possession and desire tore through him. His hand wrapped around her waist, pulling her tighter against him. He could feel the wild beat of her heart as her chest pressed tight to his. Her pulse pounded through her veins, but yearning for her blood did not seize hold of him. With her, he had complete control of himself. With her, bloodlust did not take over. He did not want to drain her dry as he had done to so very many other people. Maybe just because this was a dream he could keep control of himself, but he felt that even awake he would be able to do anything for her. Even control the monster that always lurked just beneath the surface of his existence.
A gasp of pleasure escaped her as her hands wrapped tightly around his shoulders, and her fingers dug into him. Her mouth parted beneath his demanding quest. A groan escaped him as his desire for more of her seized hold of him. His hands drifted over her bare shoulders, the feel of her silken skin left him shaken as he moved closer to the collar of the dress she wore. She moaned softly, he caught hold of her as her knees went limp and she slumped against him.
His composure swiftly unraveling, he seized hold of her dress, wanting to rip it free of her. This was his dream after all, and he could do anything he wanted in it. And he wanted her.
The scent of her tears stopped his rushing, heedless movements. He pulled slightly back from her, horrified that he had hurt her, or that he had frightened her with his urgency. Even if it was just a dream he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her. He did not know the extent of her experiences with men, but he sensed that they were not much. And there was no way that she had ever been pawed and molested by a nearly crazed vampire before.
But it made no sense, if this was his dream she shouldn’t be crying, she should be throwing herself at him with reckless abandon. If this was his dream, he shouldn’t be feeling like he was actually experiencing her emotions. Something niggled at the back of his mind, but he shoved aside any doubts and questions, he didn’t want to face them right now.
“Cassie what is wrong? Did I hurt you? Please,” he whispered. “Please tell me that I did not hurt you.”
She shook her head wildly. He gently pulled back the strands of hair that fell across her damp cheeks. Cupping her chin, he lifted her face to his. Tears slid silently down her cheeks, her eyes were bright and damp with unshed ones. Though he had been frightened that he had hurt her, there was happiness and joy radiating from her.
“Cassie?”
“I’m fine,” she breathed, reaching up to cup his hand in hers as she leaned into his touch. “I’m just so happy here. This, this is just the most wonderful thing that I have ever experienced. You are the most wonderful thing that I have ever experienced. I can say that here because it isn’t real.” Her eyes darted away from his for a moment. “But out there…”
She shook her head, closing her eyes as she nestled closer. “Out there what?” he asked softly, knowing that she was talking about the world that existed outside of this dream one.
Her eyes darkened, her face hardened slightly with anger. “Out there everything is hard. Out there, this cannot be.”
Confusion filled him as he studied her. She kept her gaze focused on the lake, more tears filled her eyes. But he sensed these were tears of sorrow and loss, not of joy. He did not understand what she was talking about, but it was more than apparent that she was greatly upset about something.
“Cassie look at me.” Her attention returned to him, her forehead furrowed. “Why is it hard? Why can’t this be?”
Though she smiled wanly, the depth of her sorrow was nearly palpable. “I wish that I could tell you.” She shook her head. “You wouldn’t believe me anyway.”
“I would believe anything you told me.”
Her eyes warmed and melted. “You are wonderful,” she whispered. “So wonderful. I’ve never felt like this with anyone before, never even knew it could be possible to feel like this. Even though it’s a dream, I feel like you would be like this in the real world, that you would make me feel this good.”
“I would,” he promised, surprised by the strange turn of events this dream was taking. It was his dream after all, she should be in his arms still, she should be happy still. She should not be lost and wounded and talking in riddles that he couldn’t unravel. She should tell him what was bothering her, not keep it hidden from him.