“I’m so glad school’s over,” Lila whispers as she continues to trap us in her death-grip-three-way hug. “Now we can keep an eye on you all the time.”
“That’s not completely true,” Ayden says. “You have lives. You can’t watch me all the time.”
Aunt Lila is quiet, and I can almost see her wheels turning, trying to find a way to make it possible for her to be a near Ayden at all times. She must not arrive at a conclusion, because she says, “Let’s get you two home, okay?”
We nod and follow her out to her car, leaving Ayden’s vehicle there for Uncle Ethan and my dad to pick up.
Ayden barely utters a word the entire drive home, and I can see where this is heading. That he’s blaming himself for the letter ending up in my locker.
“I know what you’re thinking and it’s not your fault,” I hiss under my breath as Aunt Lila pulls the car into the driveway of the Gregorys’ home. “So stop going there right now.”
He turns his head away from the window, making eye contact with me for the first time in hours. “Lyric, they threatened you. I can’t just forgive myself for that.”
I scoot closer to him. “There’s nothing to forgive. Nothing happened. I got a letter. So what. They didn’t actually do anything to me. They just wanted me to pass along the message.”
“You heard what the officer said,” he whispers, self-torture rising in his eyes. “That letter was a threat.”
I point at a cop car parked at the end of the driveway. “It’s a good thing we have those then. Besides, they’re always sending you threats and notes. This was probably just another way to try to get to you.”
He crosses his arms. “I never should’ve dragged you into this mess.”
“You didn’t drag me into this mess. I willingly ran head on into it, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat just as long as I got to be with you.” I cup his chin in my hand, forcing him to look at me. “Now, you’re going to chill out, and we’re going to go inside and work on our songs so we can kickass at the recording tomorrow.”
“But I—”
“No buts,” I scold, but also smile to shine positivity to all the darkness trying to rain down on us. “We’re going to go practice, then we’re going to make out after we’re all finished.”
From the front seat, Aunt Lila clears her throat. “I’m going to go inside and give you two a moment. Please, don’t stay out here too long.” She opens the door to climb out. “And Lyric, I want you to wait with us until your parents come home. They don’t want you leaving for any reason.”
I salute her and she shakes her head like oh Lyric, you’re such silly girl. Then she ducks out and closes the door.
I fix my attention back on Ayden. “Now promise me that you’ll stop blaming yourself for what happened.”
“It doesn’t matter if I can forgive myself,” he says, looking at me with those sad puppy dog eyes of his. “Other people are going to blame me.”
“You mean my parents?” I ask and he nods. I link my arms around the back of his neck and slant toward him until our chests are flush. “I’ll tell you what. If they blame you then you can sink into your self-pity. But if they don’t, you have to stop blaming yourself. And I mean it. No self-blame. No sinking into your pain. No torture and despair.”
He considers what I said, his lips twitching as he restrains a smile. “You know, you’re starting to sound like a walking lyrical book.”
“It’s probably because I’ve been writing, like, all the time. I want to come up with some fresh stuff that maybe we can use on the tour.” I wait for him to argue about the we, and when he doesn’t, I go back to our deal. “Now promise me you’ll do it. Promise me you’ll forgive yourself if my parents don’t blame you.” I lean back and stick out my pinkie.
He sighs, but hitches his pinkie with mine and seals the deal. “Fine, I promise.”
“Good.” I give my best prize winning grin because I know I’ve won the deal already, since my parents aren’t the kind of people to ever blame Ayden for what happened. They like him more than Ayden thinks. They’ve always wanted me to be friends with him, even before we all met him.
I remember the day I was headed to meet Ayden for the first time. While I was walking over to the Gregorys’ with my parents, I tried to get out of going, mainly because I was bored and wanted to do something fun. My dad said something to me that still gets to me when I really think about it.