“Emery, did you hear anything I just said?” My mother’s clipped tone draws my attention back to the room.
“No, ma’am. Sorry.” I swallow hard as she reaches for my face.
Cupping my chin with her manicured hand, she forces me to look at her. “Emery, we need to work on your focus. You’ve been drifting off lately, and you’re really starting to remind me of... Ellis.” She whispers my older brother’s name as if the walls can hear her.
“I’m sorry. I’ll work on it, ma’am,” I answer robotically, like I was trained.
“Good girl.” She meticulously examines my face. “You’re such a pretty girl. If you use it to your advantage, you could go far in life. But you need to stop misbehaving.”
Pretty girl.
Like that’s all I am.
“You’ll make a beautiful wife for Evan one day.” She sighs as she squeezes my cheeks. “And Evan will take care of you, which is one of the most important things in this world.”
Evan Moleney, my boyfriend of three years who I’ve been told I’m supposed to love because we look pretty together, the perfect couple. Everyone talks as if we’re already engaged, but we’re not. I fear, though, if I don’t get out of Ralingford soon, it’ll only be a matter of time before I have a ring on my finger proclaiming I belong to the son of the town’s richest lawyer and one of my father’s closest acquaintances.
She releases my chin then sticks her hand into the pocket of her apron to retrieve a pink pill and a red one. “Now take your medication then hurry up and get dressed. Breakfast is in ten minutes. If you’re late again, your father’s going to put the cuffs back on your ankles at night.” She waits for me to pop the pills into my mouth before exiting the room, shutting the door behind her.
I instantly spit the pills into my hand. For years I’ve taken them without an explanation of what they do or what they even are. I’ve never questioned their purpose, just like I’ve never questioned the purpose of curfew, until three months ago when I snuck out of the house in the middle of the night.
The idea sprouted when I overheard my brother Ellis whispering of exile and a controlled environment; words I didn’t understand at the time.
“There’s so much more to the world than what’s inside the walls of our home and what little we see during the day,” he said when I’d asked what he’d meant. We were sitting in the kitchen, waiting for my father’s return from his day job. “Our mother and father... They’re not like most parents, Emery.”
“What are you talking about?” I was nervous, too, mostly because Ellis seemed so nervous. “I mean, I know they do strange stuff sometimes, but what are other parents like? Because they act like my friends’ and Evan’s parents.”
“I’m talking about different in comparison to parents outside of Ralingford.” He nodded his head at the window where the sky was pink with the sunset. “Once the sun goes down, sneak out and find out for yourself. See what happens when the sun goes down.”
I’m not even sure why I considered doing it. I’d never been one for rebellion. He looked so terrified, though, more than when he had one of his episodes. So I broke the rules for the very first time that night. It was before my dad started strapping me to the bed, so it was pretty easy to slip out of the house unnoticed. Just a duck out the window and the scaling of a nearby tree.
In Ralingford, there are two sides of the town, what locals refer to as the Golden side and the Shadows. The Golden area is where the wealthy live—the doctors, the lawyers, and the town mayor—the big men who make the rules. The Shadow area is the poverty-stricken side of town near the railroad tracks where crime is heavy. Once the sun goes down behind the shallow mountains, that heavy crime seeps over into Golden area. At least, that was the rumor.
I’ve heard some of the horror stories of what happens after the sun sets: robbery, assault, once I heard about a murder. But the stories couldn’t prepare me for what I saw that night—sickening things that made me question everything, including my own existence.
They said we were free,
but who are they
to deem what freedom is.
Because what I saw was the exact opposite—
Confinement.
And I was part of it,
part of the darkness
that swept over the town.
I shudder as the images creep into my mind and remind me of who I am. Fear pulsates through my veins. Without the pills in my system, the terror is less diluted and more overwhelming.
My fingers brush across the scar on my back, the leftovers of my punishment for sneaking out that night along with nighttime restraints, something my brother has endured off and on since he was eight. His punishment was a lot more severe than mine, though, and he still suffers every night.
For the next few minutes, I sit on the bed, holding the pills, too afraid to move. The time gives my mother a chance to come wandering back into my bedroom, which she occasionally does to make sure I’m getting ready. When she doesn’t reenter, I rise from the bed and tiptoe over to the window.
The town has come alive. The sidewalks are busy with children, teens, and adults heading to school, to work, or to the town hall. Some of the neighbors are mowing their lawns, others watering the grass. The sun is bright and cheery, just like everyone’s smiles—cheery, something I’m positive I’ve never felt.
Even though I’m on the second floor and no one can see into my room, I still draw the curtains before padding over to my dresser. Giving one last check around my room, I lower myself to the floor and reach under the piece of furniture. I feel around the bottom until my fingers brush paper. I peel back the envelope and drop the pills into it with the rest of my three-month collection.