“He’s not a loser.” Even though my voice is small, my words are daring. “He’s actually nice.”
“Nice.” She says the word with such disdain as she wrinkles her nose. “He looks like trash.”
Anger simmers under my skin. “He’s not trash.” My voice carries more confidence, and suddenly, I find words spilling from my lips. “He just looks different from what you’re used to, and you think everyone who’s different from you is trash, or a loser or unworthy.”
“Oh, he’s unworthy of what he wants.” She inches toward me, getting in my face.
I used to hover back, but I discover an inner confidence I didn’t know I possessed. Last night, I experienced so many new things, and if I want to keep going in that direction, I need to be brave and stand up to my mother. “He doesn’t want anything. He’s just doing his job.”
“Exactly. You’re just a job to him, so cut it with the lovesick puppy love act you’ve got going on.”
“I’m not a lovesick puppy.”
“Oh, Emery, what a stupid, naïve little girl, you are. You have a stupid, little crush on a guy who isn’t worthy of you when it comes to family and blood. Besides, he wouldn’t want you if he really knew what you are.”
“I’m not anything.” My tone is shaky as rage thunders in my chest. “I’m just a person, nothing more, nothing less.”
“You really think that?” she sneers. “You’re so much more than what you think.”
I swallow hard. “What do you mean?”
She leans in, whispering, “Ever wonder what those pills are for?”
I bite down on my lip to stop myself from saying “I already know,” and instead play dumb, shaking my head.
“Crazy,” she whispers with a pleased grin. “You, daughter of mine, who are so perfectly put together, so flawless on the outside, are the most flawed on the inside. Your mind is flawed beyond fixing. Luckily for you, your father and I have managed to keep that a secret. And unlike your brother, who refused to hide his madness, for the most part, you’ve been a good girl.”
“What’s wrong with Ellis?” I tentatively ask, knowing more than likely the mention of my brother will set her off.
“What’s not wrong with Ellis. The boy was born to rebel, to disobey, no matter how hard your father tried to beat the bad out of him. Ellis…” She shakes her head, but I detect a hint of remorse on her face. “Always clouding his mind with drugs. If he would have just obeyed, his life would have ended up so much better.”
“How did his life end up?” I press for more details, despite how risky doing so is.
Her features instantly harden. Without warning, she raises her hand and slaps me hard. “Never mention your brother again.” She shuffles back, trembling with fury, but quickly composes herself. “Now, get yourself together before you mess up the arrangement with Evan. If he finds out you’re crazy, Emery—finds out you hear voices—he’s not going to want you.”
I touch my hand to my throbbing cheek and wince. “Maybe I don’t want him.”
A sharp, condescending laugh rings from her lips, making me feel about ten inches tall. “And what are you going to do as an alternative? Go be with the guy downstairs?”
I carry her gaze, even though it goes against everything I was taught. “Maybe.”
“Well, here’s a little newsflash for you.” She leans toward me again, her breath hot against my face. “He’s not interested.”
“How would you possibly know that?”
“How do you think I knew you went out with him last night?”
“I…” I have no idea what to say. There’s no way Ryler would have told anyone, not when he was adamant about me keeping our outing a secret.
“He called your father and told him about it,” my mother continues. “He even told your father that you agreed to keep it a secret from him. I have to say, Emery, your father and I are very disappointed in you—keeping secrets from us.” Her gaze skims the wrappers and soda cans on the coffee table, the floor, and the counters. “The mess you live in, too.” She pulls a face at a banana peel on the table. “What a disgrace you’ve become. Plus, you refuse to come home and clean up the mess you created.” She pauses, as if waiting for me to agree to come home. When I don’t say anything, she seizes my arm and hooks the bracelet around my wrist. Take that off again and you’ll pay.”
Blink.
Blink.
Blink.
The metal catches in the light again, and I swear to God I see a flash of red glimmering from the silver. When I blink, the light has faded, though.
With that, my mother turns, her heels clicking against the tile as she marches for the door. “Oh, and Emery. Your father says if you keep receiving those letters, he’s going to drag you home one way or another. It might just be time for you to face the inevitable”
After she leaves, I sink to the floor and rock back and forth. Tears fall from my eyes, and my breathing comes out ragged, her visit pushing me into depression.
“Don’t let her get to you,” Ellis says. “Be stronger than that.”
I angle my chin up. He’s standing near the sliding glass door that leads to the balcony, staring out the window with his back to me.
“She said I’m crazy.”
“Maybe you are.” He doesn’t look at me as he tucks his hands into the pockets of his torn jeans instead. His messy appearance is so like him, Ellis, the rebel who never obeyed, who wouldn’t comb his hair for my mother. “But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”