This bit of information could be my ticket out of here. Could I do that to Emery? Betray her like that? A few weeks ago I might have been able to say yes. Now, I’m not sure I can, not when I’m starting to care so much about her.
“Yes, it does matter.” Hot tears stream down her cheeks, leaving streaks on her skin. Her eyes are glossy and round, and her hair is tangled around her face. Still, she looks absolutely amazing, so perfect, so untouchable. Yet, she let me touch her in the most intimate, trusting way possible only an hour ago. “No one’s supposed to know Evan’s out here.”
“Out here?” My head cocks to the side as pucker forms at my brow. “What do you mean?”
“Out in Laramie instead of…” she trails off, looks toward the wall, and wipes her face with the back of her hand. “I’ve already said too much. God, I just need to stop talking.”
My heart pounds deafeningly from inside my chest. Emery knows where the warehouse is. I can feel it. But how can I get her to speak about it when she’s so terrified simply thinking about it?
Fear.
I know how toxic it is.
How it can possess one’s soul.
Devour your mind, your body
and swallow you whole.
“Why is Evan here in Laramie, anyway?” I sign cautiously.
“I don’t know,” she mutters, staring at the floor, avoiding eye contact with me.
Before I get a chance to press her for more information, she straightens her legs and stands to her feet. “I think it might be time for you to leave,” she says, seeming torn. “I don’t want to talk about this stuff anymore. I shouldn’t have told you anything in the first place.”
I don’t know what to say to her. I know what I want to say, but want and need are entirely different things.
I’m not who you think I am.
I’m as lost as you.
I just want to be free.
You and me, we’re not so different.
Night and morning on the outside, we’re simply day on the inside.
“I can’t leave you alone tonight,” I finally sign with an apologetic look. “I have to take you somewhere with me and then stay with you until your father says it’s okay for you to be alone.”
Her expression plummets. “Where are you taking me?”
“To…” I wince, my hands freezing in mid-air. After what we were just talking about, how can I say it? “To Evan’s to pick something up for your father.”
Her features harden as she glares at me. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her so infuriated, so angry.
“Fine,” she says through gritted teeth. “Let me get dressed.”
She ushers me toward the door with a wave of her hand, and I head to step out, picking up my clothes on the way.
“I’m sorry,” I sign as I step out into the hallway.
“For what?” Her voice wobbles.
I fix my gaze on her, hoping she’ll see the truth. That I am sorry and that I do care about her. “For everything.”
“Me too.” She smashes her lips together then closes the door.
The walls rattle and the wooden symbol on the wall slips off one nail, hanging crookedly. I watch it swing back and forth as I get dressed.
Out of all the goddamn people we have to meet tonight, why the fuck did it have to be Evan? Donny fucking Elderman’s son. Donny fucking Elderman’s son who bruised Emery.
My patience is going to be tested.
I want to bang my head on the door.
Pound a hole into the wall.
Scream until my lungs burst.
But like always, all I can do is remain silent as more secrets push me down into the dirt. I’m starting to believe that I’ll never be unburied again. That this life will be my final resting place, and the peaceful moment Emery and I just shared will never be again.
Die.
Die.
Die.
Slowly.
Letting your secrets bury you alive.
Chapter 13
The Truth Will Set You Free, or it Will Kill You
Emery
After telling Ryler about Evan, I’m pretty much a dead woman walking. Ellis warned me someone is coming after me. Maybe that’s who is going to end me. Perhaps Ellis saw into the future and knew I was going to mess up, knew my father or Evan would come after me because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I’ve always wondered if my father might have been the one behind the notes in an attempt at scaring me to run home.
Regardless of my impending death, I secretly hope that when Ryler and I meet up with Evan, Ryler will lose his shit and punch him for hurting me.
God, I really am insane.
Delusional.
A danger.
More potent than the poison my mother drinks.
My lips are toxic.
My hands are death.
My mind is venomous.
Rain drizzles from the clouds rumbling above us, and silver flashes of lightning light up the cab of the car as we drive down the road toward Evan’s. He let me pick the music, and not knowing any bands, I clicked on a random playlist that fills up the silence between us until Ryler turns the volume down while we’re stopped at a red light.
“What are you thinking about?” Ryler signs. “You seem upset… Is it because of where we’re going?”
I shrug, turning to stare out the window, watching the rain trickle down the glass. It’s after three o’clock in the morning and the homes and stores lining the street are pitch black. The lampposts are the only light in the darkness engulfing the sleepy city.