"arrgh! Put it back! Put it back!" Seano Bellick roared. He fell to his knees, grabbing at his bloody stump, his hand lying a few feet away, still clutching the handle of his axe.
Pony walked right by him, paying him no heed. " Belli'mar Juraviel? " she called. "Are you about? Or another of the Touel'alfar, then? To be sure, I know that arrow!"
"What're ye talkin' about, girl?" Belster O'Comely asked, coming around the wagon.
"My hand!" Seano howled. "Put it back, I say! Use your magic, I beg you!"
"I cannot put your hand back on your arm," Pony said sharply, turning on him with a snarl.
"You must!"
"There is no such magic!" Pony scolded, and it took all of her willpower to stop her from walking over and kicking the ugly brute in the face.
Seano Bellick wailed pitifully, still clutching at his torn stump. He reached for the hand with his remaining one, but recoiled as his fingers neared it, too afraid to even touch the gruesome thing. And he had to bring his hand back to his stump, for as soon as he let it go, the blood started spurting all over again.
"I'll bleed out!" the man cried. "Oh, but you killed me! Oh, you witch woman! You killed me!"
Belster walked up beside Pony, the two staring at the pitiful sight. "What're ye thinkin'?" Belster asked, for Pony made no move, either for her gemstone or for any bandages. She just stood there, staring at Seano Bellick as the man's lifeblood trickled forth.
"Girl?" Belster asked, after a long moment passed without her showing any intention of responding.
"Bleeding out," Seano said, his voice weaker, breaking with sobs.
"I believe that Belli'mar Juraviel or one of his kin is about," Pony said to
Belster, turning away from Seano. "The archer was felled by a Touel'alfar arrow, right through the eye."
"What of it?" Belster asked, motioning toward Seano.
"Am I not worthy of your healing, good woman?" Seano pleaded. "You then," he said to Belster.
"Are ye to be judgin' them ye mean to heal? " Belster asked in all seriousness, but to Pony's back, for she'd started away, looking up at the trees in hopes of catching a glimpse ofJuraviel.
That comment stung Pony and she turned fiercely.
"I'm not sayin' ye shouldn't be," Belster explained. "I'm just askin' so ye can get it clear in yer own head. Ye got one lookin' for healin', and needin' yer healin', and ye got the healin', but are ye to tend only those ye're thinkin' deservin'?"
"I cut them just to fix them? " Pony asked.
Belster gave a shrug.
He wouldn't commit to an answer, but the question alone had given her his opinion of the matter, of course, had held a mirror up before Pony's anger so that she could clearly see that growling expression upon her own face.
She had the power now of life or death over Seano, and over so many. The gemstone, the gift of God, bestowed that upon her, and thus was she to play in the role of God, as judge of the man and all the others? She nearly laughed aloud at the absurdity of it, but she went for her soul stone and moved close to Seano.
Before she fell into the magic of the gem, she looked the man straight in the eye and promised coldly, "If ever you try to steal from me again or to hurt me or any of my friends or any other innocent person, I will hunt you down and we will replay this fight. My gemstone cannot attach a severed hand, nor, I promise you, can it attach a severed head."
Pony went into the stone and sealed up the blubbering Seano's wound in short order.
"What say you, Juraviel? " she called to the boughs. "Would the Touel'alfar have shown such mercy? "
"The Touel'alfar would have properly finished the job in the first place," came the answer of a melodic, and most welcome, voice. "A thrust through the heart, perhaps, and certainly nothing as messy as you have shown.
"The third archer has long fled," the still-unseen elf informed her. "Have Belster send this fool along down the south road, and then you come out into the forest to the north, that we might speak privately."
Pony looked plaintively at Belster.
"Must have somethin' important to tell ye, then," the innkeeper remarked, and he moved for Seano Bellick. "Come on, ye great feeder of the pig. Get ye back to Caer Tinella, where ye can tell 'em all that ye met with Pony, and met with disaster. Aye, that's the way of it, ye met with the disaster named Pony.'"
"Well put," Pony remarked sarcastically, and she walked northward, as Belster half walked and half carried the shocked Seano south.
"Did I do well, then?" Pony asked Juraviel when she finally spotted the elusive elf siting on a bare branch a dozen feet off the ground.
"In fighting or in healing? " Juraviel asked.
"Both."
"If that clumsy thug gave you any trouble in battle, then surely I would have questioned Nightbird's sanity in ever teaching you bi'nolle dasada," the elf replied. Even as he spoke the words. Pony noted that there was indeed some strain behind his jovial facade. "In healing him, you did as I knew you would."
"What would Belli'mar Juraviel have done?" Pony asked.
"I would have killed him cleanly in the first place, as I said," the elf answered matter-of-factly, with that cold and calm pragmatism that almost always crept into the thinking of any of the unforgiving Touel'alfar.
"But if you did not," Pony pressed, "if you found yourself in the same situation as I just faced, would you have tended his wound? "
Belli'mar Juraviel spent a long while honestly considering the question. Certainly many of his kin, Lady Dasslerond among them, would have let the man die-elves showed no mercy to any n'Touel'alfar whose actions labeled them as enemies. "I would have been sorely disappointed in you if you had let the fool die," was all the answer that Juraviel would give. "And so would you, a profound failing within yourself, a clear contradiction of that which you are, one that would have haunted you for all your days."
It was Pony's turn to pause and reflect, and she found herself nodding her agreement, glad indeed that she had not let Seano die. "Are you to sit up there all the night?" she asked suddenly. "Or are you to come down here and give an old friend a hug she sorely needs? "
How Belli'mar Juraviel wanted to go to her and do just that! He even started propping himself off of the branch. But two words, rosy plague, echoed in his mind. He had no idea, of course, if there really was such a plague beginning in the human lands, had no evidence except for rumors coming from an unknown source about some problems far in the southland.
But for Belli'mar Juraviel, this moment sang out to him as another critical choice in his life's course. If there was a plague, and Pony had contracted it, and, in going to her, Juraviel brought it upon himself, then what would happen to Andur'Blough Inninness? Could the elven population, so tiny, survive such a plague?
Belli'mar Juraviel weighed the odds that Pony was so infected, and they seemed long indeed. Very long. But he was Touel'alfar, and she was not. It came down to something as simple as that.
And there was one other thing that Belli'mar knew, whether he admitted it to himself or not: if he went down to Pony and hugged her, if he allowed himself to recognize the deep and abiding friendship between them, the love that had bound him to the sides of Elbryan and Pony all the way to the dungeons of St.-Mere-Abelle and back, then how could he not tell this woman of the child now living in Andur'Blough Inninness? Her child, Elbryan's child.
"You have a soul stone," he remarked suddenly, needing to change the subject. "Where are your others?"
Pony shrugged. "I hardly care," she said honestly. "Nor is the Church overly concerned. More gemstones will find their way out of the abbey coffers."
"You have heard this?" Juraviel asked, and he truly wanted to know. If the magical gemstones began flowing out of the various abbeys, the implications to the Touel'alfar could be significant and dire.
"I sense it," Pony answered. "The era of Markwart, and the centuries of policies that led to the creation of such an animal as he, has ended, and the era of Avelyn will soon begin."
"You believe that Avelyn would be careless with the stones? "
"I believe that Avelyn would put them where they could do the most good," Pony answered confidently. "As he did with the turquoise he gave to Symphony, to heighten the bond between the horse and Elbryan."
Juraviel let it go at that, understanding Pony's mind in this, and knowing that any further answers from her would be nothing more than conjecture. Juraviel understood, and was even a bit envious, of the motivations behind those avowed followers of Avelyn: a generosity and clear mission to make all the world a better place. But Juraviel was more pragmatic and realistic than to believe that their plans would be realized so easily. The gemstones were power, pure and simple, and letting that kind of power out into the world could have many more disastrous side effects than those people blinded by compassion could ever foresee.
Humans did not live a long time, Juraviel reminded himself. They considered a mere century as more than a lifetime, and so they often acted shortsightedly; humans would do that which helped immediate situations, often to disastrous effect for future generations.
But Belli'mar Juraviel was not human; he was Touel'alfar and had seen the birth and death of several centuries. Pony's words now only strengthened the elf's feelings on that which he had to do and made Juraviel wonder honestly if Lady Dasslerond hadn't foreseen this impending change in Church policy.
"I tell you this last thing because I am your friend," Juraviel said. "Understand well the gift that Nightbird gave to you; it is, among my people, as high an honor as can be bestowed."
"Bi'nelle dasada," Pony reasoned a moment later.
"It was not his to give," Juraviel explained. "And he should not have done so, not even to you, without Lady Dasslerond's permission."
Pony didn't even begin to know how to answer that surprising remark.
"And it is not yours to give," Juraviel went on, his tone turning grave. "I have sworn that you will not, and based upon my trust in you, Lady Dasslerond allowed you to live," Juraviel said. Each word he spoke made Pony's blue eyes open a bit wider in sheer astonishment. " I pray that you do not betray that trust."
"I would never," the woman breathed.
"So I told my lady," said Juraviel. "And I would not even have told you of this, except that I fear that you do not understand the power of that gift and the need that we have to keep it secret."
"Never," Pony agreed.
"Belster returns," the elf announced, seeing the man bouncing up the path toward Pony.
"His archer friend found him down the road," the innkeeper said to Pony when she turned to regard him. "I think the fool dropped his bow when ye chased him off. Pity for the two o' them if they find highwaymen waitin' for them down the way a bit!"
Ironic and fitting. Pony thought, and she turned back to the tree and Juraviel.
But the elf was already long gone.
By the time he neared Dundalis, Juraviel was certain that he had left Pony and Belster far, far behind. Pony had come after him, once, on that first night after he had left her with Belster. Using the soul stone, the woman had flown out of body, covering miles in seconds. Juraviel had felt her presence, and keenly, had even heard her telepathic call-and not just her feelings, but actual words, asking for an explanation.
But the elf had pretended not to hear, or at least, not to hear well, so that he had merely whispered farewell several times and kept on his speedy way. Soon, Pony had given up the chase.
Truly, the dismissal of his friend was tearing Belli'mar Juraviel apart, as was the secret of the child being trained in Andur'Blough Inninness. The entire result of the demon war was not as Juraviel had hoped or predicted. First he had lost one of his very best friends, Tuntun of the Touel'alfar, in the bowels of Aida. And then Nightbird had fallen. And now this. Juraviel had envisioned himself sitting on a hillock with Bradwarden and Nightbird and Jilseponie, trading stories and listening to the centaur's song. It was a fantasy Juraviel had played out in his mind a hundred times, and now that it could not come to pass, it was a continual emptiness, a pang he felt forever within his heart.
All that he could hold against that pang, all that he could use to battle back, was the truth of his heritage. He was Touel'alfar, and would have outlived Nightbird and Pony, and their children's children's children.
Barely three days after his encounter with Pony, Juraviel found himself in the forest of the Timberlands again, following the song of Bradwarden, and found the centaur and Roger at their favorite hillock under the starry sky. Juraviel noted with interest that the stallion, too, was nearby, tethered to a tree at the base of the open mound.
"Taked ye long enough," the centaur remarked, lowering his pipes, and Roger came up on his elbows.
"Sooner than agreed," Juraviel replied. "We said a week, and yet only six days have passed. Will you need the seventh to finish preparing the horse?"
Roger's groan was telling indeed.
"No, he's as good as he's to get for now," Bradwarden answered. "A fiery little beastie, don't ye doubt. Ye'll be findin' yer road a spirited run, but he'll take a saddle, at least."
"Then I will be gone before the dawn," the elf announced, surprising both his friends.
"In a hurry, are ye? "
"I am not out for pleasure, but on an errand for my lady," Juraviel explained. "She bade me return with all haste, and so I shall."
Roger looked from Juraviel to the centaur curiously. "Are you coming up for a drink, at least?" he asked, for Juraviel had stopped halfway up the hillock, and showed no signs of coming any closer.
"Presently," the elf answered. "I have a bit more to do to prepare for the road. I met Jilseponie on the road north of Caer Tinella." Roger perked up at that. "She and Belster should arrive within a few days."
And with that, the elf skittered off into the forest. In truth, he had nothing left to prepare-he would find his supplies along the road-but he wanted to minimize his contact with any potential plague carriers, his friends included.
Bradwarden's song went on for a long, long time, and so in tune was it with the natural surroundings that Juraviel hardly noticed when the last delicate notes drifted into nothingness. But when he did register the silence, the elf knew that it was time for him to move, and quickly.
He went back to the hillock, and took comfort that Bradwarden, who never seemed to sleep, wasn't about. Up he went, to find Roger snoring contentedly beside the orange embers.
He found the gemstones, as expected, in Roger's belt pouch-a ruby and a soul stone, a lodestone and a graphite, and several others-and wasted no time in pocketing them. He did glance back once, stung by a pang of guilt-Roger was his friend, after all-but then, remembering who he was and the needs of his people, the needs of the people, he moved swiftly down the hillock and untethered the horse, then walked off into the dark forest.
"Way before the dawn, by my countin'," he heard Bradwarden's voice soon after, for though Juraviel could easily have gotten away from the region without being noticed by anyone, the centaur included, Bradwarden could certainly track a horse.
"The sooner I begin, the sooner I find my home," Juraviel replied calmly.
The centaur came into view a few steps down the trail behind him, and started to catch up, but Juraviel held up his hand, motioning for Bradwarden to stay back.
"What're ye about, elf?" Bradwarden asked.
"I am in a hurry, as I explained," Juraviel replied.
"No, it's a bit more than that," Bradwarden reasoned. "The Juraviel I know doesn't refuse an offer of a drink with his friends."
"I had preparations-"
"The Juraviel I know would be askin' his friends for help, then, if his preparations were so important," Bradwarden interrupted, as he came forward a few strides. "The Juraviel I know wouldn't have left Pony and Belster on the road, but would've spent the extra couple o' days walkin' with them, whatever his lady Dasslerond might be needin'. So what're ye about, elf? Are ye to tell me or not? "
Juraviel thought on that for a long moment. "You take care, Bradwarden," he said in all seriousness. "On the road south, I heard rumors of the rosy plague."
"Oh, by the demons, ye say."
" I know not if there is any truth to those words-more likely, they were the utterances of a gossiping fool and nothing more," the elf went on. "But I can ill afford to take the chance, any chance, of bringing the plague back to my people."
Bradwarden shook his head in frustration, but then looked at Juraviel and nodded.
"You take care of Roger and Jilseponie, as well," the elf said. "I fear that if the rumors of plague prove true, then this might be the last time I see you-any of you. Know that if the land becomes ill with plague, the Touel'alfar will secure our borders and none will leave for many years."
Again, Bradwarden merely nodded.
"Farewell," Juraviel said.
"And to ye," Bradwarden replied, and Belli'mar Juraviel left him there, in the forest that suddenly seemed all the darker.
Pony and Belster arrived in Dundalis right on schedule, the portly innkeeper driving the wagon and Pony riding Greystone. What a splendid sight she seemed to the folk of the Timberland community, many of whom owed their lives to the heroic deeds of this woman in the days of the demon armies. The whole town turned out to see the pair, cheering; and Pony, though embarrassed, felt indeed as if she had come home.
And leading all the cheers was Roger Lockless, his smile so wide that it seemed as if it would take in his ample ears.
"We've been waiting and waiting," he explained. "Belli'marJuraviel told us that he found you north of Caer Tinella, but I had hoped you would arrive sooner, give that strong horse of yours a bit of a workout."
"An easy road, for we've nowhere else we need to be," Pony answered. "Just as I prefer."
Roger's expression was curious for just a moment, but his smile soon returned. " No one built upon the foundation of the old Howling Sheila," he explained. "We knew that you'd return."
"Olwan Wyndon put down that foundation," Pony answered, her voice somber. How well she remembered that particular place! When the monsters came to sack Dundalis, when Pony was but twelve years old, she had crawled under that foundation to escape the swords and spears and fire. She had emerged after the carnage, to find that all of the town, all of her family and all of her friends, were dead or missing. She and Elbryan alone had survived the catastrophe.
But Dundalis had been rebuilt, and that foundation had supported yet another structure, Bolster's Howling Sheila tavern.
And then Dundalis had been sacked again.
The memories showed Pony the best of human spirit, the resilience, the ability to fight on and on. Why wasn't she now feeling that way? Where was her fighting spirit, her willingness to accept the losses and rebuild everything?
Perhaps some things could not be recovered, she mused, staring at the foundation and wondering if perhaps she should not have come back to this place. Here was the legacy of the Howling Sheila, a foundation of cold stone;
and out there, not so far away, was another legacy, a cairn of cold stone.
"Are you all right?" she heard Roger ask, but it seemed to her as if his words came from far, far away. "Pony?"
She felt his hands on her shoulders, and only then understood that her shoulders were trembling, and that she was clammy and weak.
Then Belster was there beside her, holding her arm to support her.
Pony reached deep inside and shook away the fit. "I should have eaten more at breakfast," she said to Belster, smiling sheepishly.
The innkeeper looked at her and politely nodded, but Pony knew, of course, that he had seen right through her little lie. Belster had come to know her so very well over the last year, and he understood the source of her distress.
"Fetch some food!" Roger called to the townsfolk. "As fine a meal as we can prepare." He started to point out a couple of men to set to the task, but Pony put her arm on his and held it low. "Later," she said.
"Nonsense," Roger argued. "We will prepare the finest-"
"Later," Pony said again, more forcefully. "I have something I must do."
"Are ye sure, girl?" Belster asked, and Pony turned back to face him, took a deep breath, and nodded.
"I'll start setting up, then," Belster said.
"Roger will help you, I am sure," Pony, who wanted to do this thing alone, replied, and she looked to Roger again and patted his arm, smiling.
Then she went to Greystone and pulled herself into the saddle. She headed out of town at a swift trot, up the north slope, then walked the horse slowly down the fairly steep incline into the pine groves and the thick white caribou moss.
When she came out the other side of that dell, she had Greystone at an eager canter, running through the forest.
"She's knowin' the woods as well as any," Bradwarden insisted when a frantic Roger came to him later on, wailing that they had to find Pony. "As well as any human might," the centaur corrected with a sly wink.
"She's been gone for hours," Roger explained.
"And I'm thinkin' that she'll be doin' many o' these little rides out alone over the next few weeks. Can ye no' guess where's she's gone to, boy, and can ye no' be figurin' why she wanted to go there alone? "
Roger looked at him curiously at first, but finally a light of recognition came over him.
"You are sure that she's all right? " he asked.
"I'd be worryin' about any monsters that might've found the girl," Bradwarden said with a hearty chuckle. "Ye gived her back her gemstones, didn't ye?"
Roger's expression spoke volumes to the perceptive centaur.
"What're ye thinkin', boy?"
"I don't have them," Roger admitted.
Now it was Bradwarden's turn to wear the confused expression. "Ye said ye did," the centaur protested. "Ye even showed 'em to me!"
"I did have them, but they're gone!" Roger tried to explain.
"Gone?"
"I had them a few days ago, but I woke up one morning to find my pouch empty."
"Ye're sayin' ye lost a clutch o' magic that could flatten a fair-sized town? " Bradwarden cried. "Ye lost a clutch o' gems that a hunnerd merchants'd willingly give over all their gold to get their hands on? "
"I had them, and then I did not," Roger insisted.
"And ye didn't think to say anythin' when the thief might still be about? " Bradwarden roared at him.
"I think I know who took them," Roger replied quietly. "Well, we'll go and have a talk with the ..." The centaur stopped, catching a hint of what might be going on here. "When d'ye say ye lost the damn things?"
"Three mornings ago."
"The night after ..." Bradwarden paused and shook his head. It made no sense. Juraviel? Their elven friend stole Pony's gemstones?
"Either Juraviel took them or someone else stole up the hillock that night after we had gone to sleep," Roger insisted.
Truly, Bradwarden had no answers for that. He knew well enough that no one had come up that hillock to steal from Roger. And yet, unless the man was lying, those gemstones had disappeared on that very night-the very night Belli'mar Juraviel made his hasty retreat from the region.
"It might be that them monks found a way to magically come and get the damn things," the centaur said unconvincingly, for both he and Roger knew well that if there was such a manner of retrieval, Father Abbot Markwart would surely have discovered it and used it to get the cache of stones back a long time ago.
"I don't even know what to tell Pony," Roger admitted.
"Has she asked for them? "
"No."
"Is she even knowin' that ye got the damn things? "
"I don't think so."
"Then tell her not a thing until she's askin'," Bradwarden advised. "I'm thinkin' that the girl's got enough weighin' down her heart at this time."
"More than you know," Roger replied. "I was talking with Belster earlier and he told me all that Pony walked away from in Palmaris. They offered her everything, the barony, the abbey. Everything. And she just walked away."
Bradwarden eyed the man and marked well his tone. "And ye're thinkin' she chose wrong? "
"After all we went through?" Roger replied, his frustration creeping into his voice. "After all the fighting and all the dying? After Elbryan gave his very life for a better world? And we could have that world, we-Pony could make it all worthwhile."
"I'm seein' a new side o' ye, to be sure," the centaur remarked, and that set Roger back on his heels a bit.
"I fought alongside everyone else," the man protested when he got his bearings back.
"Never said ye didn't," Bradwarden replied. "But by me own thinkin', ye was fightin' more for Roger than for any paradise in yer thoughts."
Again, the man had to pause for a bit to consider any response he might give, for Roger understood that the centaur spoke honestly and accurately. All through the early days of the war, Roger had indeed been a selfish warrior, considering every action based mostly on what fame it might bring to him. Elbryan had shown him the error of his ways, as hadJuraviel, with typical elven bluntness. Only now, however, with Bradwarden so clearly pointing it out, did Roger begin to understand the depth of the change that had come over him. Only now did he consciously recognize that Elbryan had died for a reason, for something bigger than his own life and bigger than Pony's life. And, to Roger's complete surprise, he found himself frustrated and disappointed that Pony had chosen to run away when all the city was being offered up to her, when, with a few words and a few actions, she could have made a profound change upon Palmaris, a change for the better, a change that would give meaning to their sacrifices made in battling first the demon and its minions and then the demons that had infected the Abellican Church.
And she had run away!
"But aren't ye being tough on the poor girl? " Bradwarden remarked.
"She should not be here," Roger replied. "Or at least, she should not be planning to stay. There is too much to do, and time will work against us if we do not act."
"Against us?" the centaur echoed doubtfully. "I'm not seem' Roger Lockless doin' much work in Palmaris. I'm not seein' Roger Lockless doin' much work at all!" He ended with a laugh, a great belly laugh; but Roger, too perplexed by these revelations concerning his feelings, didn't join in.
"Ah, but ye're bein' too hard on her," Bradwarden explained.
"The opportunity-"
"And what good might she be doin' if her heart's not in it? " Bradwarden promptly interrupted, and his voice grew more grim then, and more serious. "Ye lost a friend, and so ye're stingin', and wantin' to put a meanin' to it," the centaur explained. "And so ye should be, and so should we all. But Pony's lost more than a friend."
"I loved Elbryan," Roger started to protest, but Bradwarden was laughing at the absurdity of the statement, and Roger couldn't honestly disagree. Comparing his relationship with Elbryan to the one the ranger shared with Pony was indeed absurd.
"She's needin' time to heal," the centaur said after a bit. "She's needin' time for rememberin' who she is and why she is, and for findin' a reason to keep on fightin'."
"How long?" Roger asked. "It's been a year."
"A torn heart can take a sight longer than a year," Bradwarden said quietly, solemnly, his voice filled with obvious sympathy for his dear friend Pony. "Ye give her the time, and it might be that she'll go back and begin the fight anew."
"Might be?"
"And might not be," the centaur said plainly. "Ye can't be tellin' someone else what fights they're wantin' to pick, and ye can't be arguin' the worth o' fightin' to one who's not seein' it." "And if she chooses not to continue?" Roger asked. "What value, then, ofElbryan's death?"
"Ask yerself," the centaur replied. "Ye're so quick to be makin' it Pony's fight, and easy enough for ye, sittin' up here in the Timberlands. Where's Roger, then? I'm askin'. He's lettin' his friend go cold in the ground, and not doin' a thing to bring a value to Elbryan's death."
"I was not offered the barony or the abbey."
"Ye weren't lookin' for the offer," Bradwarden said. "Ye could've ridden the last fight to some power, if ye so chose."
"I came north with you," Roger protested, "to bury Elbryan."
"And ye could've been back in Palmaris before the summer was half finished," Bradwarden scolded. "Are ye mad at Pony, boy? Are ye really? Or is it yerself that's botherin' yerself?"
Roger started to answer, but stopped short and stood staring out at the forest, wondering, wondering.
"Pony's needin' a friend now, and needin' us to let her do all that she's needin' to do without our judgin' her," Bradwarden remarked sternly. "Ye think ye can do that? "
Roger looked him right in the eye, considered the question carefully and honestly, then nodded.
A chill wind came up that evening, and Pony honestly wasn't sure if it was a natural thing or a consequence of this cold place. In either case, how fitting it seemed to her as she stood before the two cairns in the grove north of Dundalis, a place that would have left her cold on the hottest of bright summer days.
She only glanced at the older of the graves, the resting place of Mather Wyndon, Elbryan's uncle and the first Wyndon ranger. She couldn't help but picture the body under those stones, disturbed first by Elbryan on that dark night when he had earned Tempest, the elven sword, and then again more recently by Bradwarden and Roger, when they reinterred the weapon beside its original owner.
And Pony couldn't help but picture Elbryan, and the mere thought of her love lying cold in the ground nearly buckled her knees. He was there, under those rocks, with Hawkwing, the magnificent bow Belli'mar Juraviel's father, Joycenevial, had crafted for him during his years of training with the Touel'alfar. He was there, with eyes unseeing and a mouth that could not draw breath. He, who had so often warmed her in his gentle but strong embrace, was there, alone and cold, and there was nothing, nothing that she could do about it.
All of her young life had been marred by loss. First her family and friends-all of them save Elbryan-had been murdered by goblins and giants. Then her companions at Pireth Tuime-men and women she hadn't considered friends but with whom she had forged a working relationshiphad been slaughtered by the attacking powries. Then the Chilichunks, who had shown her only love, had perished in the dungeons of St.-Mere-Abelle.
Then Paulson, Cric, and Chipmunk and Tuntun and Avelyn, dear Avelyn, all lost on the road to Mount Aida. And her child, torn from her womb by the demon Markwart. And finally-in an act that had saved her life, surely-she had lost Elbryan, her lover, her best friend, the man she had intended to grow old beside.
It didn't get easier, these confrontations with death. Far from hardening her heart to future losses, each death seemed to amplify those that came before.
She pictured them now, all of them, from Elbryan to Avelyn to her father, walking past her as if in a dream, moving close in front of her but never seeing her or hearing her plaintive calls. Walking, walking away from her forever.
She reached out and tried to grab Elbryan, but he was an insubstantial thing, a formed mist and nothing more, and her hand passed right through him. He was an image, a memory, something lost.
Pony blinked open her eyes and didn't even try to hold back the tears that rolled down her cheeks.