He said nothing else to her, as he didn’t trust his voice. He simply picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. Nicole immediately started pounding on his back and demanded he put her down. They were both breathing heavily by the time he dumped her into his passenger seat. She tried to get back out of the car and he saw red.
“I swear to you Nicole, if you get out of this car, I’ll tie you down in the trunk,” he threatened her. He leaned over her, his face only inches from her own. She knew he meant what he said. She decided not to test him. She sat back, with her arms across her chest and stared out the window, refusing to speak to him.
Ryan drove increasingly fast toward home. He wanted to throttle her so he knew it wasn’t a good idea for them to remain alone. He knew he’d never physically abuse her but he still may say something he’d regret at a later time.
They arrived at the house and he got out of the car and came around her side before she even had the chance to unbuckle her seatbelt. She glared as he reached over and unsnapped it, then took her arm and led her inside.
She tried to pull away from him but he wasn’t letting that happen. He pulled her after him, straight into the den. He pushed her onto the couch and glared, letting her know she needed to stay exactly where she was. He walked to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a generous amount of bourbon and gulped it down. The burning feeling, as it washed down his throat, eased his temper. He took a deep breath and headed to the phone.
Nicole watched him wearily, as he picked it up. He spoke for a few minutes before she realized what he was doing. He’d called a wrecking yard and ordered her car to be destroyed. She came unglued.
“How dare you have my car destroyed? You call them back right now and tell them I want it going to the shop,” she demanded of him.
“There’s no chance in hell you’re driving that car again. Do you know what could’ve happened to you out there on that dark road? You’re incredibly lucky it was me who found you and not some sick and demented fool,” he yelled right back.
“I don’t call it lucky, you being the one to come to my rescue. I would’ve rather taken my chances with a psycho,” she said, too angry to even think about what she was saying. He was getting rid of her car and there was no way she would drive his, so she would be without transportation.
“You’re pushing me to the ends of my limit, Nicole,” he said, as he stalked towards her.
“Good, then maybe you’ll figure it out and leave me the heck alone,” she shouted. Ryan completely lost his temper. He was trying to do everything to make sure she and her sister were comfortable and she didn’t appreciate a damn thing. He was standing close to her and lifted his hand quickly in the air, in a show of frustration and what happened then would change his life forever.
Nicole saw his hand rising towards her and terror took over. She cried out, with real fear and dropped to the ground, cowering. It had been so many years since she’d been beaten she’d forgotten you couldn’t get a man that angry. She rolled up on the ground in a fetal position, her mind back to those teenager years when her father had beaten her so bad she would black out.
Ryan stood there in complete shock, his hand still in the air. He looked at Nicole and saw she was truly terrified. She had a haunted expression on her face and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, someone had beaten her. They’d not only beaten her, but had done it so badly she was no longer in control of herself, from just the thought of him hitting her.
Ryan’s temper evaporated instantly and all he wanted to do was protect her, even if it was from himself. He’d never in his life even thought about hitting a woman but she didn’t know that. He didn’t even think she knew exactly who he was at that moment.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Nicole. I don’t care how bad we’re fighting, or how angry I am. I’d never hurt you. Do you understand?” he asked her softly. She wouldn’t look at him. She was in her own world right then. “I’m going to take you upstairs,” he told her in the same soft tone. He didn’t want to scare her any more than he already had.
He needed answers to what had happened to her. He may have appeared calm on the outside but inside he was a madman. He wanted to rip the person apart who’d dared to lay a hand on her. Had it been an ex-boyfriend? It was the only answer that made sense to him. How could she have allowed a man to beat her? It had to have happened for quite a long time because terror like that didn’t come from a one-time occurrence.
He scooped her into his arms and she let out a little protest but then lay silently against his chest as he carried her up the stairs. He placed her on the bed and went into her bathroom, where he drew a hot bath. He added some different salts and beads, remembering his cousins once said their wives liked to relax with a soothing bubble bath. He figured it would help her and he was willing to do anything to get that haunted look from her eyes.
He even lit a few candles, bringing a comforting ambiance. He knew she loved to take candlelit bubble baths and hoped it would help.
Once the tub was ready, he stepped back into the bedroom and found her still lying on the bed. She looked a bit better but her face was still white and he wasn’t happy he’d been the one to make her look that way.
“I’m going to undress you now. I have a bath ready for you. I think it will help calm your nerves,” he told her, speaking softly. She said nothing as he started pulling her clothes off. He stripped her quickly and for once the sight of her body didn’t send him over the edge of insanity. He wanted nothing more than to console her.
He carried her into the bathroom, gently lowering her into the tub. She sunk into the water and a sigh escaped her throat. He didn’t want to leave her but he needed some answers and he was sure he wouldn’t get them out of her, so he needed to seek out Patsy.
“Will you be okay in here?” he asked her.
“I’m fine, Ryan. I’m sorry about that. I think I’m just tired. I know you’d never hit me,” she said, trying to sound casual but not pulling it off. He bent down and gently took her lips with his, needing to reassure them both that everything was going to be okay.
“I’ll be back soon,” he told her and walked from the room. He left the door open a crack and told the housekeeper to keep an eye on her. He also had the cook send up something for her to snack on, while in the tub. He knew she’d be back to normal soon.
Ryan walked down the hall and knocked on Patsy’s door. He was amazed but a smile came to his face because her music was playing so loud she couldn’t have heard anything. He hated to open her door and invade her privacy but he needed to talk to her. He cracked the door and peaked inside and she was in the middle of the room, dancing around to some obnoxious song coming from the stereo system he’d bought her. At least she appreciated his gifts, he thought.
He smiled, watching her for a few minutes, loving the happy expression on her face. She was a great kid and he was glad her life was a bit more comfortable. She swung around and spotted him there, a pink flush coming to her cheeks.
“I didn’t hear you come in,” she said a bit sheepishly.
“I’m sorry about that. I knocked but I don’t think you would’ve heard if the house had come falling down around you,” he told her a little too loudly since that was the only way she could hear him.
She walked over to her radio and turned the volume down. There was still a bit of ringing in his ears and he prayed the horrible song she was listening to didn’t get stuck in his head. He thought he really must be getting old because there was a time he would’ve blasted the radio just as loudly and danced along with her.
“What’s up Ryan?”
“I was wondering if we could talk for a few minutes. Can you come downstairs, with me?” he asked. He didn’t want to get lost in her chaotic room. She was certainly not a clean freak but what teenager was?
“Sure, I was starting to crave some chocolate, anyway,” she agreed and followed him to the kitchen. He waited while she grabbed some brownies and milk and sat at the table with him. The cook had long ago discovered her love of brownies and always made sure to have fresh ones ready, daily. The entire staff had fallen in love with both Patsy and Nicole.
“I want to talk to you about Nicole. She won’t want to talk to me about it but I need to know, so I can help her,” he said to Patsy, making sure she was looking at him and could understand what he was saying.
“You want to know about the beatings, don’t you?” she asked him, completely shocking him. She said it in almost a casual tone but he could see the pain behind her eyes.
“Yes,” he said to her. He didn’t know what else he could say, so he sat back and waited for her to speak. She looked at her plate, then pushed it away as if she’d lost her appetite. He could relate to that. He didn’t think he’d be able to ever eat again.
“It started when she was still pretty young,” Patsy began and he was shocked. Who the hell would’ve beaten her when she was young? He simply couldn’t comprehend what she was telling him. “When dad lost his job, he sunk to an all-time low. He was always grouchy and kind of cruel with his words but when he lost work, he started taking it out on Nicole. Mom was a drunk and didn’t help at home. As I got older, he started noticing me more, but Nicole always got between us. She never once allowed him to hit me but that just meant she took twice as much. I know he cracked a few of her bones and she was always black and blue,” she said, as a tear tracked down her cheek.
“He was really careful to never hit her in the face though. He couldn’t let anyone see how he was terrorizing her. I begged for her to let me tell someone but she said she’d take it until she turned eighteen. Then she’d be able to look after me. She said if we ever told anyone they’d put us in foster care and we wouldn’t be in the same home. She was always so strong too, she never screamed, or even cried out. Her tears would fall which that bastard seemed to really enjoy. It seemed his whole purpose in life was to break her but she was so strong. He never really did break her. I think she hurt far more when you were no longer a part of her life, than when he hit her,” Patsy finished. Tears were now soaking her face and he handed her napkins.
“I never knew,” he said painfully.
“Nobody knew because that’s how she wanted it. When we left, neither of us ever looked back and when they died, neither of us cried. We didn’t feel any loss. To tell you the truth, we both felt safer knowing there was no chance he could come after us again. If it wouldn’t have been for Nicole he would’ve broken me. I’m not nearly as strong as her and I couldn’t have taken the beatings, like she did. I tried though, Ryan, I really did. I tried to come between them but she’d lock me out of her room and I’d hear him through the doorway, hitting her over and over again,” she said, openly sobbing. She couldn’t talk any more.
Ryan pulled her onto his lap and rubbed her back, trying to comfort her the best way he knew how. His gut hurt so much, he didn’t know how he wasn’t throwing up. He couldn’t believe he’d never known what she’d gone through. It was beyond a nightmare and he’d done nothing in the last several months, except to terrify her more. He felt like the lowest human being on the earth.
