Would that ever happen again, or would he merely use her to keep his magic charged and eschew anything more emotional? Or would he go back to surrogates and keep her at arm's length. If that happened, she'd do whatever necessary to stay with him, fight to make him see how very much she loved him and no longer wanted to live without him.
But she was painfully aware that she couldn't force him to truly be with her simply because she now wished it. That hadn't worked with her parents or with Deirdre.
But this time if she lost, she'd have no one to blame but herself. As she stepped through the slightly soggy grass in jagged little rows, Felicia fought back tears.
After long minutes, she stopped at Deirdre's headstone and knelt to place the yellow daisies she been clutching.
"Hi, D. I brought your favorites, daises. I miss you." She sighed. She did miss her sister--every single day. "I'm sorry I ... stayed away for so many years. When you left me, I-I didn't know what to do. I wish you'd have let me help you. But I know now that you didn't want to feel the pain anymore." She choked back a nearly overwhelming surge of tears. "I'll be coming to visit more often. Hope that's okay. I love you."
"She had a different path to take," said a familiar voice behind her.
Felicia whirled to Mason. "How did you find me?"
He shrugged. "Bram put a GPS chip in your car, hoping you'd drive it at some point. He's been looking for you for days."
She rolled her eyes. Why didn't that surprise her? Sure, Bram was smart and brave, a born leader. But he could be a manipulative bastard.
"Is Simon all right?"
A sad shadow darkened Mason's eyes before he looked down, nodded. "Fine."
But he didn't want to see her. If he did, he'd be here. And really, she didn't blame him.
Soon, she hoped to talk to him, try to make him see exactly how much she loved him. She refused to give up without a fight, but ... when she looked over the past few days, she saw so many moments when she'd evaded and hesitated. God, how she regretted them now.
"Where have you been since Friday?" Mason asked.
"My flat." She shrugged. "I figured Simon would call if he healed and he ..."
Needed me to share his bed. Would he ever want her for more again? Could she convince him?
He'd loved her once; she knew that. But would he ever trust her to be his mate in every way? The question had haunted her for the last three sleepless nights.
She took Mason's hands in hers. "I couldn't have carried Simon out of the tomb, and he would have died without you. Thank you for saving him. I'm sorry you were dragged into all that."
He gaped at her as if she was mad. "As you were. The two of you saved me. I could never have saved myself from Mathias."
"I'm sorry about ..." Betraying you, not loving you, falling for your brother.
"Everything."
He nodded, his conservative dark hair moving with the breeze. "You love Simon?"
"Yes. I won't even ask if you're angry and hurt." She reached into her pocket and withdrew the engagement ring she'd taken off what seemed like a lifetime ago. "You really deserve someone who's marrying you because she's madly in love with you. Not because you make her feel safe."
Mason clasped the ring in his fist. "You're right. I wanted you so much and ... I behaved badly when I didn't get my way. I hope you can forgive me."
A smile played at her mouth. "Having Simon arrested was low."
He winced. "Not one of my finest moments."
"It's not for me to forgive you. That's between you and Simon."
She hoped someday they would work out their differences, and that she wouldn't be a constant reminder of the reason for their strife.
"Did you two talk?"
"We did." Mason shrugged. "I never knew. A wizard. It boggles the mind, really."
He smiled wryly. "No dull family tree here. I don't think Mum knows. She always said her first husband was extraordinary, but had a very secretive side. I suppose I now know why."
Indeed. "I don't want to come between you and Simon. I love him, and that will never change. I'm not certain his feelings for me are the same, but that's neither here nor there. You're brothers and--"
"Simon explained that you're his lifelong mate and what that entails. I understand now that he never took you away simply to hurt me. After meeting Mathias, I certainly comprehend the danger he spoke of at our wedding. In fact, I understand everything, perhaps more than I'd like, at least where you're concerned." Mason sighed. "Neither of us would ever hurt you. I'm sorry I let my jealousy get the better of me. As for Simon's feelings, you'll have to discuss those with him."
Yes, and that terrified her. But for him, she would. If he chose not to live with her as his mate and broke her heart, she'd earned it. And she'd live with it. It would hurt like hell for the rest of her years, but she would survive.
Felicia pasted on a smile and nodded. "I will later. At the moment, I'd like to return to work and--"
"Let's talk about our future now."
That voice sent a shiver down her spine.
Simon.
She whirled around to find him standing a few meters away in an impeccable charcoal coat, black trousers, and a black shirt. He looked exhausted ... but perfect.
Her heart froze, got stuck in her throat.
"You do love him," Mason murmured in her ear.
She turned to Mason with a question in her eyes. What did she say? Do?
He just smiled. "Be happy. I'll be around if he grates on your nerves, as he sometimes can, or to talk. I'll be your friend. Always."
As he gathered her up for a hug, she embraced him in return, desperately aware of Simon's gaze on her. After a long moment, Mason pulled back, kissed her forehead, and walked away. He paused to clap Simon on the shoulder before exiting the cemetery.
Leaving them alone.
"Are you saying good-bye to Deirdre?" Duke asked Felicia as he approached her in slow, measured steps.
She looked exhausted and as nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers.
"Good-bye ... hello." Her gaze never left him. "It was time I both accepted her death and voluntarily paid my respects."
"Where have you been?"
"My flat, mostly. I thought it best if I left for a bit, especially since Bram didn't seem pleased with what happened in the tomb."
Duke didn't remember anything after the ceiling began to cave in. According to Bram, he'd been making his way out when Felicia emerged from the tomb into an open cavern they'd never seen. Mason had carried him out, running at a mad pace. Bram joined in and helped. Shortly after they emerged into daylight, the doorway they'd exited from had disappeared.
After escaping to the little nearby pub, the next day was a blur of fever, dark visions ... and Felicia's sweet touch. Then healing sleep.
He'd awakened to Bram's rantings. A long meeting ensued. Duke had finally found a few moments to see to some unfinished business and grease a few palms. Once he'd returned, Felicia had been gone. He ached to know why.
Softening his expression, he shook his head. "You couldn't have known that Mathias may not die in the tomb and that he's likely working hard to resurrect Morganna as we speak--if he hasn't already done so."
"I pieced that together from Bram's rantings, but I don't understand how it's possible. I know Mathias had the ingredients, but ..." She looked confused and terrified at once. "I shot him."
"The moment you left, he could magically heal his own wounds."
She hung her head. "I'm sorry. I'd feared that, but I'd hoped he was already dead.
The ceiling fell on his head. Between the bullet and the rocks ..."
"Mathias can heal from most anything a human would consider fatal, with the possible exceptions of pulling out entrails, burning, and beheading. But even that may not be true. He was exiled once, and we thought he died. If so, he came back to life. Who knows what will be necessary to kill him now?"
"Oh. But ... Mathias said he didn't think he could leave the tomb without an Untouchable. So wouldn't he be trapped forever?"
"Hard to say. If he could revive Morganna, they'd be able to leave quite easily.
She was a very powerful witch, and certainly knew many ways to thwart Merlin's magic.
If not, we may catch him yet."
She swallowed, looking sick to her stomach. "And you think he's escaped now ...
with her?"
He shot her a grim stare. "Perhaps. Bram wants you and me to travel to the tomb again tomorrow so we'll know for certain what we're dealing with. So forgive him for being less than pleasant. And me for being tied up in discussions ... and other necessary business."
"I ... of course." She looked as if she wanted to say more, but didn't. "What is the Doomsday Brethren's next move?"
Duke shrugged. Their options were limited. "We must try something totally different. If Mathias has, in fact, resurrected Morganna ..."
There would be nothing but hell--and lots of it.
"Y-you're very busy. I understand."
He frowned, his internal alarms sounding. His insides jumped with anxiety. He'd loved Felicia for scarcely a week, and yet it felt like forever since he'd held her. "Why did you leave on Saturday?"
"I figured I'd give you some space to heal and ..." Her breath caught on a sob, and she turned away.
"And what?" He approached silently and cupped her shoulders.
Felicia loved him, and he knew that. But damn it, would it always be hard for her to admit? He'd pursue her to the ends of the earth if necessary, but just once, he'd like the assurance of knowing that she came to him because she desired his company, trusted his counsel, wanted his nearness.
"I've been terrified that I waited too long to tell you that I love you and now ..."
She sobbed.
It hurt like hell to see her in pain.
Suddenly, Felicia flung herself into his arms. "I know you mated with me because you were compelled and you didn't really know me and ..." She hugged him tighter. "I love you. Let me prove that."
"And you thought I was angry with you? That I no longer loved you?" He stared down into her miserable blue eyes and felt his heart catch.
"Yes." Her sadness crested, then she shook her head. "You once loved me. I didn't know if you still could. I felt it when you used your magic. You've been open almost from the start about your feelings. I didn't know how to be. I ... don't deserve you."
He guided her away from the cemetery, toward the little park across the street.
When they reached a quaint wrought iron bench, he sat Felicia down and glanced at her with reproach. "I hope you really don't think that, or we're doomed to a miserable life together."
"I want to be with you. I'll be here for you always. Give me a chance. Please. I'll endeavor to deserve you."
"You can do that ..."--he pulled the small object from his suit coat and knelt at her feet--"by marrying me. The human way, in front of friends and family."
Felicia gasped, staring at the ring. He'd purchased it during their stay at the Dorchester, hoping he'd have the opportunity to propose to her after the charity ball. Then she looked at his face, so full of hope and tenderness. The tears started again.
"I've arranged for a small ceremony on the beach in Barbados, if you say yes. But Sunshine, I want you to have the choice this time. Stay with me not because you're compelled by magic or guilt. Stay because you love me."
She blinked, fat tears spiking her dark lashes. Her eyes looked so achingly blue and happy. "Truly?"
"Always."
A smile broke out across her face, with the beauty and promise of a new dawn.
"Yes. Yes! A thousand times yes."
He slid the ring on her finger, then lifted her chin until she met his gaze. "Why?"
"Because I love you, more than I ever thought I could ever love anyone, Simon. Forever."
He dropped a perfect, sweet kiss on her lips, ripe with the promise of years of happiness to come. "I'll hold you to that. Because I love you forever, too."