Lucan scrubbed a hand across his face. Closing his eyes only brought the picture of her scars glaring into his head, and he swallowed hard. “He hurt her so badly. I…saw. God, she must have suffered. My tender little Anka wasn’t prepared to deal with such a monster. It’s no wonder her mind is as tortured as her body. And I didn’t do a fucking thing to save her.”
That bitter reality stabbed him over and over.
“We’ve talked about this.” Bram clapped him on the back. “You tried, man.”
“I went into mate mourning, nearly turned feral, and almost killed your sister for helping me. I did nothing useful while my treasured mate endured the unspeakable. And now she’s under Shock’s thumb, carrying some…secret. I can’t be useless this time. Surely you know something helpful. Anything.”
Bram dragged in a deep breath. “Nothing. I’m sorry. She’s told me nothing about her captivity, only that she wants revenge. She didn’t talk to me about Shock at all. I only know what you do, they’ve been…friends forever.” He grimaced. “Maybe she thinks she owes him.”
“For rescuing her from the hell I didn’t do a damn thing to save her from?”
“That guilt isn’t helping you, mate.”
Lucan heaved a deep sigh. “I know. But she’s hurting, and I don’t know a single thing I can do to help her except to love her. And she acts as if my devotion terrifies her. I can only think that she’s worried about Shock’s retaliation. Those bruises on her body…maybe the wanker has done more than act dominant.”
“Did he ever beat Anka before you mated with her, do you know?”
No. He never had. Shock, back in those days, had been a sarcastic, fuck-off sort of prat. Not much had changed there. But he’d always been willing to do anything to coax one of those bright smiles out of shy Anka. So, as much as Lucan hated to admit it, he didn’t have difficulty believing that Shock genuinely played power games in the bedroom with Anka because she wished it. Lucan cursed. Wondering why the hell she hadn’t ever asked him for something she needed was only going to eat him up inside.
He shook his head as he made his way over to the decanters of alcohol and poured himself a straight whiskey. “There’s some reason she’s trapped with Shock.”
“I hate to suggest this, mate, but maybe she loves him.”
Lucan snapped around. “No. If she loved Shock, she never would have opened herself to me today. She never would have kissed me like her very happiness depended on feeling me close to her. There’s something going on with Anka. If she’s never talked to you about Shock or her captivity, can you think of anything else that might be troubling her?”
Bram approached, clapping him on the shoulder. “You know she’s never been one to talk about her problems. She’s never said a word to me about Mathias or her relationship with Shock. I wish I could be more help. But with my own mate abandoning me after a single night and disappearing into thin air, I don’t think I’m the best person to talk to about your romantic troubles.”
Lucan nodded wryly. “You have a good point. But I’m not letting her go again. Today proved that she still cares for me. Somewhere under all that pain and uncertainty, under Shock pressing her beneath his thumb, the feeling is there.”
The smile fell from Bram’s face. “That may be, and as your friend, I want you to be happy, whatever that takes. As the leader of this small army? I need to make certain you’re focused on war and getting another soldier ready. Do whatever you need to win her back, but woo her on your own time.”
Lucan’s anger spiked. “My feelings aren’t interfering with your bloody fucking war.”
Bram raised a superior brow. “Really? So besides making love to Anka today, you two got in a full day’s worth of training by noon?”
With a curse, Lucan looked away, clenching his teeth. Bram knew well that he and Anka hadn’t managed any training. The morning had been eaten up by the impromptu meeting and the unbelievable sex that had shoved every reason he’d ever loved her back into his face. Now, it made him really look at his life and the rift between them.
“You forcing her to meet with Mathias this morning rattled her.”
“She may have to fight beside him someday. If a chat in a crowded room bothers her, then she’s never going to be ready.”
As a protector, Lucan wanted Anka nowhere near the cruel bastard who had torn their lives in two and rended the very fabric of their bond. But as the warrior who’d seen the scarred, determined witch struggling to become a soldier in her own right, he understood that she needed to defend herself and fight. That she needed the opportunity to repay Mathias for what he’d done to her.
“We’ve only just started. Give me more time with her.”
“As long as you understand that sweet nothings and footsie can’t appear on our packed agenda.”
Gnashing his teeth, Lucan bit back the urge to tell his best friend to fuck off. “Understood. I’ve promised you that my first priority is to make her ready for the war. I’ll hold myself to that. I’m asking you as a friend to tell me whatever you know about her relationship with Shock. If I had information about Emma, I’d tell you.”
Bram stared and said nothing for a long moment, then nodded. “I won’t gossip or speculate, but if she comes to me directly to talk, I’ll pass it on.”
It wasn’t what Lucan wanted, and he realized that he’d be better off if he talked to Sabelle. Bram’s younger sister had a gift for mind reading, so she might have picked up on something. But if not, he’d muster on. He hadn’t wrested Anka from Shock, held her as his treasured mate for a century, then had her ripped from him tragically just to lose her to Shock forever simply because she was too afraid to overcome whatever fears and hurts stood between them.
A familiar chime rang through the air, and with a simple lift of his hand, Bram eased the magical security around the manor. Predictably, Duke rushed into Bram’s office in an impeccable charcoal gray designer suit with his hair ruffled, looking impatient and a little afraid.
“We’ve got a massive problem.”
From behind him, Simon’s half brother, Mason, emerged. The human barrister nodded emphatically. “I have friends at Scotland Yard willing to call me when anything…unusual happens, no questions asked. I received a call fifteen minutes ago that a stunning blonde with a terrible laugh is at Hadrian’s Wall holding an entire group of people hostage. She refuses to let them go until she sees you.”
Chapter Nine
Anka teleported to a remote corner of the little park not far from her cousin Aquarius’s house. She walked in the anemic afternoon sunshine, a tweed coat wrapped around her shivering body. What had she done? Opened her body to Lucan completely, in a way she didn’t think she’d ever accept a man inside her again. Yes, but she’d also opened her heart. Bloody hell, that man got under her skin, sometimes with just a look. A touch. One of his soft whispers. He’d always known exactly how to reach her heart. And still did.
A very bad sign, indeed.
For her transgression this morning, she would have to give up the home she had considered her safe haven these past two and a half months, at least temporarily. No way would she hurt Shock with the visible evidence of her desire for Lucan. He had every right to be hurt and furious. After all, he’d stood by her through the worst of her recovery following Mathias’s assault. He’d waited on the fringe of her life for over a hundred years while she’d been mated to and loved Lucan. Sadly, she would have to risk going it alone for a few days. But it would be all right. She was stronger now, more able to protect herself.
As Anka wandered the crowded London streets, her mobile dinged, alerting her to a text message. She pulled the mobile from her pocket, stomach rippling with tension. If it was Shock wondering where she was… Anka winced as she slid the little bar across and read the message.
Back to manor now. Emergency. Bram
With a frown, Anka turned and ran down the street, making her way to the little park again, finding a dark corner behind a few trees and evergreens in which to teleport away. Moments later, she was back at Bram’s, arriving as the others did. Caden shouldered up to her, eyeing her signature with a raised brow and a little smile. Of course he could see that she’d obtained a whole lot of energy from Lucan. No avoiding that.
“Not a bloody word,” she warned.
“So, I shouldn’t speculate that when I see my big brother next, he’ll be wearing a smile?” Her brother-by-mating teased her, of course.
She couldn’t stop her own embarrassed grin.
Directly in front of her, Isdernus, Sabelle’s mate, thundered up the steps to the manor. After a whoosh, Raiden and Ronan Wolvesey arrived, ribbing one another about some prank. Lucan pulled the heavy portal open and admitted them all.
Before she could file in, another loud rush of wind alerted her to a newcomer. The hair on the back of her neck stood up, and she tensed, turning slowly. She bit her lip as her worst fear was confirmed.
“What the fuck?” Shock shouted. “Anka!”
Lucan shouldered his way through the door and lunged for her, sliding his arm around her shoulders protectively. “I won’t let him hurt you.”
She looked up into his resolute blue eyes, sending him an almost apologetic glance. “He won’t.”
“Get your fucking arse over here right now,” Shock demanded.
“Don’t listen to him,” Lucan urged.
But she didn’t really have a choice. Because Shock had protected her when Lucan couldn’t. Because they’d long been friends. Because Bram had insisted that she remain with Shock and take her energy from him. Because she owed him her life.
“I must,” she said softly. “I’m sorry.”
Lucan clutched her tightly. “No. Damn it, Anka. Come home with me. You don’t need him. I’ll take care of you.”
God, how sweet but naive of him to think they could make love once and resume any semblance of their past relationship. That’s what he wanted; it was all visible in his searching gaze. If he only knew… But she didn’t have the courage to tell him all her dirty little secrets and drive him away for good. She ached to cling to the fantasy that he could still love her forever.
“Lucan...” She caressed his stunned face with her apologetic gaze, wishing so badly that he could understand, yet knowing that he never would, before she slipped out of his embrace.
“Anka!”
The yearning in his voice hurt her, but she steeled her backbone and made her way to Shock.
He stood on the lawn, all leather and badness, fists on his hips, drilling holes into her psyche. His probe into her head was neither painless nor subtle. Anka allowed him in, endured his thrashing through her memories. He quickly found what he sought and replayed her encounter with Lucan this morning. Teeth clenched and lips a thin line of displeasure, he closed the distance between them and grabbed her arm.
“You let him fuck you.”
Maybe she could have argued that the sex hadn’t been premeditated or that he’d simply caught her in a weak moment. She might even have convinced Shock that she’d been running low on energy and needed more in order to continue training. In the end, she gave him her thoughts. She refused to lie to him.
“Yes. As you can see.” She raised her eyes up to the signature surrounding her, blaring Lucan’s bright colors in his face.
“You want to explain?” he growled.
The others were watching now, stopped dead and staring at the scene unfolding on the lawn. She could feel their gazes stuck in her back like little blades, none sharper than Lucan’s. “Not really. And definitely not now. There’s an emergency.”
“This is pretty fucking important, wouldn’t you say?” Shock dragged her against him, then winced. “Bloody hell, you still smell like him!”
A growl resounded behind her, and she didn’t have to turn around to know Lucan charged toward her, trying to rescue her from the big bad Shock. Instead, she pulled her arm from his grasp, refusing to be in either man’s clutch. Revenge came first.
“We’ll talk later.”
She turned and stepped into Lucan’s path as he bore down on Shock, looking ready to tear the leather-clad wizard limb from limb. She planted her hands on his chest and shoved him back with a push. “This isn’t important now.”
“The hell it isn’t.” The anger that rolled over Lucan was palpable, so thick it was nearly tangible. His nostrils flared and his brows thundered down into a dark vee as he looked over her shoulder, directly into Shock’s face.
She could almost feel his smile mocking Lucan and wanted to slap sense into both of them. “Bram declared an emergency. We can’t afford this petty fighting amongst ourselves. Neither of you have ever been jealous of the time you spent with another warrior training.”