‘So, anyway,’ Kataria said through a voice thick with restrained giggling, ‘there are pretty much only three things worth celebrating.’ She counted them off on her fingers. ‘Birth, death and raids.’
‘Raids,’ Lenk mused, his mind seeming to follow his tongue rather than the other way around. ‘You typically kill humans during them, don’t you?’
‘Sometimes, and only because they’re the most numerous. But Tulwar, too, and Vulgores, Couthi … well, not Couthi, anymore, obviously, but only because they had it coming.’
‘So, you celebrate birth, death … and more death?’
‘If you want to dumb it down like a dumb … dumb, yeah,’ she grunted, slurring at the edges of her speech. ‘But it’s the whole atmosphere that makes it special. See, we bring back all the loot … er, reclamations back to camp and eat and drink and sing, and if there was one who was particularly bothersome, we drag his body back to camp – never alive, see – and make a whitetree. That’s when we take them by their legs and … and …’
She looked up, the fierce glow of her green eyes a contrast to the sheepish smile she shot him.
‘It’s a tradition,’ she said, chuckling. ‘Even if it is violent, you aren’t in any place to pass judgement.’
‘I never did,’ he replied, offering a grin of his own.
‘Yeah, but you were thinking it.’ She made to step closer and wound up nearly toppling over, her face a hairsbreadth from his. ‘I know. I can smell your brains.’
That statement, at the moment, was the least offensive thing about her and, no matter what she smelled, brains certainly weren’t what filled Lenk’s nose. Her breath reeked of liquor, roiling out from between her teeth in a great cloud. This was challenged only by the smoky odour of her body, her usual musk complemented by the copious amounts of sweat painting her flesh.
He was not intoxicated, not by the sight or scent of her, at least. His fifth empty cup lay in the sand behind him, forgotten and neglected. His head was swimming, his body quivering; it felt as though the mangwo coursed through his veins. Drums were still pounding, song still roaring, but the idea of crashing down onto the sand and waiting for the morning to come seemed quite appealing.
Or it had, anyway.
Her presence invited a quick and ruthless sobriety. It was not likely that she could smell his brains anymore, since he could feel them threatening to leak out of his ears as she swayed closer to him. Thought faded, leaving all focus for sight and sound … and smell.
The firelight bathed her sweat-slick skin in gold, battling the pervasive moonlight’s determination to paint her silver, both defeated by the smudges of earth and mud that smeared her pale skin from where she had fallen more than a few times. Her breath was an omnisensed affront: a reeking, heavy, warm cloud. Her smile was bright, sharp, lazy like a sated predator. The typical sharp scrutiny of her eyes was smothered beneath heavy lids. Her belly trembled, a belch rising up out of her mouth. He blinked, stared, heard, smelled.
Arousal, he reasoned, was possibly the least sane, and – given his attire – most awkward, response imaginable.
It hurt, if only slightly, to take a step back.
‘So,’ he said, ‘do you miss it?’
‘Miss what?’ she asked with a sneer. ‘My family? My people?’ She raised a brow. ‘Or the killing?’
‘Is that all you have to go back to?’
She turned her frown away and asked the ground instead of him. ‘What else is there?’
‘Other things.’
‘Oh yeah?’ she asked. ‘What is it you’re going back to?’
A good question, he thought, as he stared at her. He had no family to go back to, and while, technically, his ‘people’ were in no short supply, he had no particular group of humans he wished to call by that name. She stared at him expectantly, as though waiting for his eyes to offer an answer his lips could not.
‘To a place where I don’t have to kill anymore.’
Her expression was unreadable. It might have been, anyway, if he had been staring at it. Instead he met her eyes, the same eyes that he had squirmed under, that he had shouted at her over, that he had turned away from, feeling the chills that followed the stare, hearing the voice that followed the chills.
Turn away now, he told himself. Better to not know her answer. Even if she doesn’t kill you right now, even if she doesn’t say she’ll go back to the killing even after all of this, you can’t live with this. Not the staring. Not the question if she ever really means what she’s going to say. You can’t live with this, just as she can’t live without the killing. Better to turn away now.
Drums thundered. Her ears twitched. She didn’t blink.
Better to turn away.
Fires smouldered. He breathed deeply. He stared back.
Turn away.
Her lips twitched. He held his breath.
She smiled at him.
All at once, heat seemed to return to him, his blood turning to mangwo again. He smiled back, strained to smile harder than she was, to show her he felt the same as her. Of course, he thought, if he could read past the pained smile and know exactly what she was feeling, that would have been helpful, too, but he resolved to make do with what he knew.
He knew he wanted this bloodless moment, this voiceless silence, this stare he could not turn away from to last for the years to come.
And as he stared at her – at the sad, pitying smile she gave him – he knew he had only one more night.
‘So!’ she said swiftly, lids drooping, smile widening. ‘Why aren’t we still drinking?’ If that.
‘It’s a party, right?’ she asked with a quavering laugh. ‘We’re going to be at sea for who knows how long by tomorrow. Best not think about anything but tonight, right?’ She jerked a nod on his behalf. ‘Of course right.’
He said nothing as he followed her farther over the ridge, her eyes furtively searching for any sign of the drink. Any drop visible, however, was fast disappearing down gaping, green gullets. He noticed that her ire seemed to rise with every moment her lips were left dry, a growl rumbling through her body. He could almost see the hackles rise on her naked back.
Denaos was probably right, you know, he told himself. She thrives on the violence. She can’t even go this long without getting angry. How long could you possibly take that in? It’s the right decision, then. Say nothing. Try not to even think about her. That’s wisest.
It occurred to him, not for the first time, that he rarely took the wisest course of action. And as he walked behind her, eyes drawn to her slender, sweat-kissed back, he began to develop a theory as to why that was.
Desperate to turn his attention to anything else, he glanced at the rapidly thinning throngs of various green bodies. The lizardmen were vanishing, either collapsing into dark corners or wandering off, leaving only the echoes of their laughter and their aromas behind.
‘Where the hell are all of them even going?’ he muttered to no one. ‘Is … is it us? Do we smell or something?’
‘Who knows?’ she said, chuckling. ‘Maybe there’s some ancient code of conduct for drinking with lizard-things that we’re not adhering to.’
‘Of course. Maybe if we ate insects we’d be fine.’
She laughed a long, obnoxious laugh. The very same noise that he had once loathed now put him at ease. Whatever he might be feeling, all the tragic and inconceivable thoughts he might have, she felt none of them. That much was clear by the ease with which she carried herself around him, how swift she was to laugh, how very much unlike him she appeared to be.
Good, he thought, glancing at a nearby fire, that’s good. If she’s not feeling anything, then there’s nothing to talk about. I mean, if she was going to feel anything, she would have done it with a lot of drink, wouldn’t she? The worst is behind you, my friend. Well done. Well done, ind—
His brief self-congratulatory mood was quashed the moment he collided with her. She had turned about, regarding him with an intent stare. Enraptured, he was only aware of their proximity as he felt their sweat mingle between their skin, the rise of her belly pressing against his as she breathed deeply. His pulse raced, far too swiftly for him to feel hers, as blood quickened through his body.
‘Sorry,’ he muttered and moved to step away.
He hadn’t made it another step before she lashed out her hands and seized him. The blood had rushed out of his head, leaving him far too slow-witted to realise what was happening, let alone resist it. Her nails sank into his skin with predatory possessiveness as she drew him against her body and leaned out to press her lips against his.
There was no patience in her embrace, no sense of tact and certainly no hesitation. Her tongue slid past his lips in hasty, urgent fury. His thoughts were left far behind as his senses raced ahead on a thundering heartbeat. He could taste the mangwo on her tongue, feel the need in her breath and hear the growl that welled up inside her, quaking through her body and into his.
Breathless and blind, his mind finally caught up to his senses, barely conscious of what was happening. By the time he realised it, however, his body had already acted. His arm had snaked around her, feeling the tension in her as he pulled her close. His hand had woven into her locks, pressing her lips farther against his, and a feral need that he hadn’t even realised was inside him burst out through his mouth. It matched her vigour, matched his pain, fingers clenching her hair where hers sank into his skin, drawing her firmly against him as she pulled at him with animal fury.
And when he finally had the space to think, it was without words: a short, fleeting sense of overwhelming satiation that threatened to bring him to his knees.
And it was made all the shorter when her hands snaked out, parting from his skin in an instant to come up between them. His chest nearly ruptured against the force with which she shoved him, sending him toppling upon his rear to the sand. He stared up, agog and slack-jawed, only to find the same expression staring back at him.
‘Hey,’ she said softly. ‘Sorry about that.’
‘No, it wasn’t—’
‘It was,’ she interrupted, shaking her head. ‘It … it really, really was. Sorry. Sorry.’ Her face contorted in agony as she whirled about, fleeing past the throngs of lizardmen, past the smouldering fires, into the night. ‘Damn, damn, damn, damn …’
And he, sitting on his rear, staring at the darkness into which she had vanished, finally found the time to think.
Well done, indeed.
‘Not fair, not fair, not fair.’
Dreadaeleon’s words churned into his mouth on acrid bile. His breath was clogged with the taste of acid; his mouth felt packed with a tongue twice its actual size. With every step he took as he scurried behind Togu’s stone house, his stomach pulled its knot a little tighter.
And he still spoke.
‘She was about to … about to …’ He collapsed beside the hut’s wall, gasping for air as he felt the nausea roil in his throat. ‘About to do something. And now this happens? NOW?’
His indignation was punished with a painful clench within his belly that sent his hands to the earth, his mouth gaping open with a retching noise that stripped his throat. Something was brewing inside him, fighting its way through his knotted stomach with thick, sticky fists. His eyes bulged, blinded by tears. His jaw craned open, stretched painfully wide in anticipation of what clawed its way out of his throat.
The vomit came out on a gargling howl, tearing itself free to douse the nearby shrubbery. Dreadaeleon knew not how long it lasted; his attention was focused on keeping all other orifices shut.
It did end, however, and Dreadaeleon lay gasping on the sand, the bile dripping past his lips to pool on the earth. The pain subsided in diminishing throbs, but not slowly enough to spare him from his own thoughts and his regrets and his anger.
This was something to be worried about. This was something to be terrified about. These reactions were not normal, not to anyone not suffering the Decay. Now was a time for prudent thought, careful concern. At any rate, he certainly shouldn’t have felt the rage that he did.
But he had been so close.
It had been a graceless exit, naturally; there was no graceful way to run away to spill one’s intestines out on the earth. He would have very much liked to have stayed, to discuss philosophy with Asper. She had been so open, enough to make him open, as well. He had told no one of his parents, of his initiation into the Venarium. She had listened so thoughtfully; she had looked at him so eagerly; she had touched him. He could still feel her fingers on his shoulder.
And then he had gone and ruined it all. She loathed him now, he was certain. How could she not? She had reached out to him, he had bared his past to her, and when she sought answers, when she recognised that he had them, he had run away to paint the shrubbery with his supper.
It was better that she hadn’t seen that, of course, but not by much.
He would have spared himself more thought for self-loathing if not for the pungent scent of smoke drifting up to his nostrils. He glanced up at what had started as shrubbery, now resembling some sort of half-digested salad. His vomit was hungrily chewing on it with a thousand tiny, semiliquid mouths, belching steam with every moment it reduced the plant to a brown, messy blob.
Suddenly, the days of fiery urine seemed not quite so bad.
His condition was worsening.
Whatever offences he might have committed were forgotten as that phrase echoed in his head. His body was acting, amplifying its functions, functions that should not be amplified, of its own accord. It had likely been that little display in the valley, pulling the Owauku from the puddle, that had done it. It was a stupid thing to do, he reminded himself.
But she had been so impressed …
A small compensation. Too small. As he struggled to rise, he found his muscles weak, even weaker than they had been moments before. His magic was going awry, applying itself to all his bodily functions, and he paid for it as he paid for any other exertion of power. Of course, flashes of lightning and fire were far more impressive than flaming urine and acidic vomit.