Outside in the basement hallway at Xhex's, John was wearing a path in the stone floor. Up and back. Up and back. While he heard absolutely nothing through the door to the bedroom.
Which he supposed was a good thing--no screaming or curses hopefully meant that Doc Jane's exam wasn't causing pain.
He'd texted Rehvenge and told the male that Xhex had been found and they were going to try to get her back to the compound. He didn't mention the basement place, however. Clearly she wanted to keep this private, because if Rehv had known about it, the guy would have insisted on coming here after she wasn't at the hunting cabin.
After checking his watch, John raked his hands through his hair again and wondered how bonded males like Wrath and Rhage and Z handled shit like this--Christ, Z had had to go through watching Bella give birth. How the hell did they--
The door opened and he wheeled around, his soles squeaking on the floor.
Doc Jane was grim. "She's agreed to go to the compound. V should be outside waiting in the Escalade--can you see if he's there?"
John signed, Is she okay?
"She's been through a lot. Go check if the car's there, will you? And you're going to have to carry her out, okay? I don't want her walking and I'm not using a stretcher because we don't need to cause a scene on the street."
John didn't fuck around and bolted out of the basement. Right on the curb, with lights off but the engine running, was the SUV. Behind the wheel, there was a flare of orange as V took an inhale from his hand- rolled.
The Brother put his window down. "We taking her in?"
John nodded once and rushed back inside.
When he came up to the door of Xhex's room, it was closed, so he knocked softly.
"One minute," Doc Jane called out, her voice muffled. "Okay."
He opened up and found Xhex still on her side. A towel had been wrapped around her and a fresh sheet draped her from head to foot.
Christ... he wished her skin offered a little more contrast to all that white shit.
John approached and thought it was odd. He'd never seen himself as taller than her before. Now he towered and not just because she was prone.
I'm going to pick you up now, he signed while mouthing the words.
Her eyes locked on his and then she nodded and tried to sit up. As she struggled, he bent down and scooped her into his arms.
She didn't weigh enough.
When he straightened, Doc Jane quickly flipped the covers on the bed into a fold and motioned toward the door.
The stiffness in Xhex's body was costing her energy and he wanted to tell her to relax, but even if he'd had a voice, that would have been a waste. She wasn't the kind to be carried under any circumstances, by anyone.
At least... normally.
The corridor seemed twelve miles long, and outside, the three yards that it took for him to cross the sidewalk to the SUV was twice that far.
V hopped out from behind the wheel and opened the rear door. "She can stretch out here. I put down blankets before I left."
John nodded and went to lay her on the soft nest that had been made.
Her hand reached up and locked onto his shoulder. "Stay with me. Please."
He froze for a split second... and then with brute strength, he stepped up and in while keeping his hold on her. Settling in was awkward... but eventually he got them situated against the wall of the car's interior with his legs bent at the knees and her in his lap, cradled against his chest.
The doors were shut and then there were two more thunches and a roar of the engine.
Through the darkened windows, lights flared and receded as they sped out of town.
As Xhex started to shiver, he wrapped his arms more tightly around her, keeping her flush against his body and willing his warmth to go into her. And maybe it worked, because after a moment, she laid her head against his pec and the trembling eased off.
God... he had wanted her in his arms for so long. Had imagined it and envisioned scenarios where it happened.
This was so not it.
He inhaled deeply, intending to let out a sigh... and caught the scent he was throwing off. Dark spices. The kind he smelled on the Brothers when their shellans were around. The kind that meant his body was weighing in on his emotions and there was no going back.
Damn him to hell, there was no hiding the bonding and no stopping it. All along, since he'd first met her, he'd been inching closer and closer to that cliff, and clearly he'd pitched over the side of it when she'd fed from him.
"John?" she whispered.
He tapped lightly on her shoulder so she knew he'd heard her.
"Thank you."
He put his cheek down on her hair and nodded his head so she could feel it.
When she pulled herself out from under, he wasn't surprised--at least not until he realized that she wanted to look up at him.
Oh, Jesus, he hated the expression on her gaunt face. She was afraid to the point of terror, her deep gray eyes the color of flat asphalt.
You're okay, he mouthed. You're going to be okay.
"Am I." Her eyes squeezed shut. "Am I really."
If he had anything to do with it, shit, yeah.
Her lids popped open again. "I'm so sorry," she said hoarsely.
What for?
"Everything. Treating you like I did. Being who I am. You deserve so much better. I'm... really sorry."
Her voice cracked at the end and as she started to blink, she laid her head back down and put her palm right on his beating heart.
It was moments like this when he desperately wished he could speak. After all, it wasn't like he was going to shuffle her around so he could get to his frickin' pad of paper.
In the end, he just held her with care because that was all he had to offer.
And he wasn't mistaking this exchange for what it wasn't. An apology wasn't a declaration of love and it wasn't even necessary, because he'd all but forgiven her anyway. Yet it helped him, somehow. It was still a far distance from the way he'd hoped things would have gone between them, but it was a damn lot better than nothing.
John tugged the sheet up higher on her shoulder, then let his head fall back. Staring out of the darkened window, his eyes searched the stars that dotted the dense, velvety black of the night sky.
Funny, felt like heaven was up against his chest instead of all above the whole world.
Xhex was alive. And in his arms. And he was taking her home.
Yup. All in all, things could have been a fuckload worse.