He’d still be in my head. I’d still be in his. Eventually, someone would use him to find me, and the whole thing would start all over again.
“No.”
“No, what?” Rena’s voice was tinged with desperation, and the din in the background rose to new heights; a man’s screams melding in with inhuman ones, as an alarm—jarring and violent—pierced the air.
“The Feds are here. This place is coming down, Kali. As your mother, I am telling you to move.”
I looked at her, and my stomach lurched. She’d saved my life. That didn’t make her my mother.
Without a word, I sat down next to Colette’s body. Almost on cue, a bullet fell from her skull. She was already healing, faster than I ever had before.
It’s the Nibbler. You feed it. It heals you.
The words Zev had once spoken came back to me with a vengeance, and I did the math. Colette probably kept her parasite very well fed.
“Kali, I have to go. Please don’t make me leave you here.” Rena’s voice broke. “Please.”
“Knife,” I said.
Apparently, that wasn’t what she’d expected as a response.
“You have my knife,” I said, lifting my eyes to hers, falling back on my senses while I still had them. “I’d like it back.”
“Kali, the FBI is going to find you here. Eventually, Colette is going to wake up. You can’t—”
“Give me the knife,” I said. “And then go.”
There was a long moment, an elongated silence, and then she nodded, her face going as blank and calm as mine. She reached down to her boot and pulled out my knife, the motion eerily similar to one I’d made myself a million times.
She handed it to me, hilt first. She brushed one hand over my cheek. And then she turned and walked—no, ran— away.
One minute.
I had sixty seconds—no time to heal, no time to think, no time to process the sounds of animal screams and gunshots in the distance.
All I had time to do was act.
Kneeling next to Colette’s body, I cut open her shirt. The swirling pattern laid into her skin was complicated, and my eyes traced the interweaving circles and lines back to a central point, just over her collarbone.
An ouroboros.
“You don’t want her,” I said, my voice shaking as I brought the tip of my knife to my left arm.
Cut. Cut. Cut.
“You want me,” I said. “I’m smarter. I’m younger. And I’m one of a kind.”
Now that was the truth.
“You don’t want her.” I painted Colette’s body with my blood, flashing back to that moment in the hallway with Bethany. “You want me.”
I willed it to be true.
Ten seconds.
Nine.
Nine seconds, and I would be human.
I couldn’t do this.
Darkness lapped at the edges of my mind. My temples pounded. My breath came fast and short—and then there was a sound like a gun going off, and a smell like rotten eggs.
I stumbled backward, hit the wall, and sank to the floor.
Four seconds.
Three seconds.
Colette’s body twitched, the lines on her skin disappearing like sidewalk chalk under the force of a hose. For one horrifying moment, I thought she might wake up.
But she didn’t. Her limbs stopped twitching. Her mouth went slack. And that feeling in my stomach, the one that told me that something preternatural was close, flickered like a lightbulb and died.
One.
The second I shifted, the pain was blinding, overwhelming, everywhere. I was little and human and bleeding.
I hurt.
“Kali.” Suddenly, Zev was beside me, holding my head in his hands. “You’re going to be okay,” he said, checking me for injuries, staring into my pupils. “You’re going to be just fine.”
In his words, I heard an echo of Skylar’s. You’re going to be okay. I’m going to make you okay. Okay?
I gave myself over to the pain. Searing, blinding pain. I could get through this. I could.
The warmth of my skin built to an incredible, cleansing heat. I felt like I was wearing my body for the first time, like it was wearing me.
Here we go again, I thought.
I tried to smile, but it came out a sob. “Look,” I said, tears dripping down my cheeks, my breath catching raggedly in burning lungs. “Now we both have two.”
Zev followed my gaze to the ouroboros on my shoulder. His eyes went to Colette, lying still on the floor.
“You …”
He couldn’t finish the sentence. I laid my head back against the cement, insane laughter bubbling up inside of me.
There were two chupacabras inside my body. My very human body.
“Guess I do have a savior complex,” I said.
And then I laughed. It was a crazy, pitiful sound, like the mewling of kittens, but I couldn’t make myself stop.
It hurt.
Everything hurt.
“The Feds are here,” Zev said. “Colette moved some of her pet projects out, but the ones she left are … unpleasant. They’ll keep our friends occupied while we duck out, but if the Feds are lucky, they’ll survive.” He ran his hand lightly over my hair. “We should go.”
Before, when Rena had asked me to go, I’d said no because I didn’t want to leave Zev, didn’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for the woman who’d been pulling his strings. But now …
“Come with me,” Zev said. “We’ll leave, Kali. You and me. There’s nothing here for you. We’ll slip out of here, and we’ll leave town, and we’ll disappear.”
I could see it—the two of us, spending our days in this world and our nights together in dreams. We’d hunt together, and we’d live together, and it would be so easy.
So right.
“I—” It was there, on the tip of my tongue, to say yes, but a volley of images flashed through my brain.
Faces.
One after another after another.
Bethany and Elliot.
Skylar.
My father.
If I left, he’d never know what happened to me. Even if I managed to say good-bye, he’d be alone.
Bethany and Elliot would never know what really happened to Skylar.
I’d never get to make this—any of this—right.
That was the second I realized that I had a choice. I could run and run, farther and farther away. I could make myself forget. I could be what Zev was, do what he did.
Or I could stop running.
Stop trying to be something I wasn’t.
Because at the end of the day, I wasn’t like Zev. I wasn’t like anyone. I was one of a kind. That wasn’t going to change—it wasn’t ever going to change.
“Go,” I told Zev as the sound of footsteps echoed through the hallway and orders, shouted by men, reached my ears. “I can’t.”
Why—not? He spoke the words silently, and they came to me in pieces, like a radio signal interrupted by static, a reminder that I wasn’t what I’d been an hour before.
Two chupacabras. Human body.
Twenty-three hours and fifty-four minutes.
“I’m tired of running,” I told Zev, forcing the words across my lips, rather than speaking them mind to mind. “I have to do this. You have to let me.”
Whatever Skylar had seen of my future, whatever had convinced her I was worth saving—I had a feeling I wouldn’t find it on the road.
I owed it to her to stay and fight—no matter how broken I was, no matter how lonely.
“I will come back for you,” Zev said.
I nodded, smiling and sobbing and hurting so badly, I could have screamed.
“What if they hurt you?” Zev whispered.
I met his eyes, then pushed him away. “They won’t do anything to me,” I said, remembering Skylar’s words about Reid. “Why would they? I’m just a kid.”
Just a girl.
A battered, broken human girl.
Zev pressed his lips to mine. He kissed me. And then he was gone.
I hugged my knees to my chest, folding myself into a tiny ball, and that was how Skylar’s oldest brother found me.
Just a girl—for now.
35
“Kali.” Reid crouched to my level, and in his eyes, I saw the Haydens’ house. The handprints on the driveway. The pictures on the walls.