“I’ve been working on an article for the American Journal of Medicine,” he elaborated. “The editor asked me six months ago if I’d be willing to contribute a piece and I’m only getting around to it now.”
Valerie felt a surge of pride. Colby had an impressive future ahead of him. The world would be a better place because of his dedication and caring. Their eyes met, and Valerie wanted to tell him how much she respected him, how proud she was of him, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want anything she said now to sway his decision later.
“I have something to ask you,” she said, standing abruptly. She glanced around, then sat down again.
“Yes?” His gaze fell to her hands and she realized she was rubbing her palms together. She stopped, embarrassed by this display of nervousness.
“The last time I saw you,” she began in a voice that was more hesitant than she’d intended, “you asked me to leave Orchard Valley.”
“Yes,” he said harshly.
“Why?”
“You know the answer to that as well as I do. Your father’s recovery has been a lot faster than we could’ve hoped. Eventually you’re going back, so I can’t see any reason to prolong this…interlude. Texas is where you belong.”
“In other words, if a man’s going to hold me and kiss me, it should be Rowdy Cassidy.”
A brief flash of anger showed in his eyes, but was almost immediately quelled. “That’s exactly what I mean,” he returned smoothly.
“I can’t help asking myself something,” she said, her voice growing smaller despite her efforts. “Is my leaving what you really want?”
“What do you mean?”
“I could stay in Orchard Valley.” Her gaze clung to his, hopefully, eagerly. “This is my home. It’s where I was born and raised, where I attended school. Some of my friends still live here and I know just about everyone in town.” The words were rushed, practically tumbling over one another.
Colby breathed in deeply and seemed to hold his breath. His hands tightened into fists. “Why would you do that?”
Valerie had wondered how he’d respond. She knew what she wanted him to say—that he needed her in his life. Instead, he’d responded with a cruelly flippant question.
“Why would I stay?” she repeated slowly, her eyes never wavering from his. “Because you’re here.”
Her words were met with a brief, tension-wrought silence as though her frankness had shocked him. He looked away.
“Are you saying you love me?” he demanded in a tone that suggested this wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
“Yes.” Her own voice was husky with something close to regret. “All morning I’ve been wishing I’d dated more in high school and college, because then I’d know what to say. I’ve always been too…direct. I can’t help it. It’s just part of my nature.”
Colby didn’t respond, which made her hurry to fill the silence.
“This is when you’re supposed to admit you love me, too,” she prompted anxiously. “That is, if you do… I may not have been a Homecoming Queen, but I’m woman enough to know you care for me, Colby. The least you can do is admit it and let me salvage what little pride I have left.”
“Loving you has never been the problem.”
“Thank you for that,” she whispered.
“But love isn’t enough.”
“How do we know that?” she asked, although she’d said the same thing herself less than two hours earlier. “We haven’t even tried. It seems to me no one would’ve gotten anywhere in this world if they’d decided to quit before even trying.”
“You make it so tempting.”
“I do? I really do?” His words thrilled her. They gave her the first sign of encouragement since her arrival. “I was thinking…there are companies in the Pacific Northwest I could work for…companies that would be glad to have me.”
Colby stood and moved across the room. Not knowing what else to do, Valerie followed him.
“I think you should kiss me,” she said hoarsely.
“Valerie.” He turned as he said her name. He wasn’t expecting her to be so close behind him, because he nearly collided with her. His hands reached for her shoulders to steady her.
It was exactly what Valerie had hoped would happen. She moved automatically into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging him close. She raised her mouth expectantly to his and wasn’t disappointed.
With a groan, Colby claimed her lips. His hands were in her hair as he tilted her head back and kissed her with a hunger that left her breathless and weak.
“Valerie…no.” Reluctantly he stepped away from her, bracing his hands against her shoulders.
“But why?” she pleaded.
Deftly Colby stepped farther back, putting as much distance as possible between them. “What’s wrong with you?” he asked angrily.
“Wrong?” she repeated, still trapped in the excitement his kiss had aroused.
“Did you think coming here and seducing me would mean an offer of marriage? It’s not very original, Valerie. I would have thought better of you.”
“Seduce you?” Hot color sprang instantly to her cheeks. “I wasn’t…I had no intention—”
“Well, that’s the way it looked to me.”
If he was trying to upset her, he was certainly doing an effective job. She forced herself to take several deep breaths. “I didn’t come here to seduce you, Colby, nor am I going to let you annoy me into starting an argument. I came because I had to know. I had to find out for myself if there was a chance for us. If not, tell me so right now and I’ll leave. I’ll walk out that door and we’ll both forget I was ever here.” She paused. “Is that what you want?”
He frowned, his expression fierce, but he didn’t answer.
“Say it,” she demanded. “Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me to get out of your life and I’ll go, Colby. I won’t even look back.”
She remained on the far side of the room, frozen in misery.
Still Colby said nothing. Nothing.
“You don’t need to worry about any unpleasant scenes. I’ll pack up my belongings, drive myself to the airport, and you’ll never hear from me again.” Her voice remained steady despite the hoarseness of pain.
Silence.
“Just say it,” she cried. “Tell me to go…if that’s what you want. But if you had an ounce of sense, you’d ask me to stay right here and marry you. You don’t have any sense, though. I know—because you’re going to do what you think is the noble thing and send me away. Well, I won’t make it easy for you, Colby. If you want me out of your life, you’re going to have to say it.”
“I might if I could get a word in edgewise.”
Valerie choked on a sob and swallowed the laughter. “I love you! Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”
His hands clenched into fists again, and his eyes, his beautiful eyes, didn’t stray from her.
“Say it!” she shouted. “Tell me you don’t want me. Better yet, tell me you’re crazy in love with me and that you’re willing to find a way to make everything right for us. Tell me that instead.”
He closed his eyes.
“This is it, Colby. If I walk out that door, whatever was between us is over. I’ll go about my business and you’ll go about yours. I refuse to waste the rest of my life waiting for you.” She dashed the tears from her cheeks with the back of one hand.
“You’ll always be someone very special in my life.” The words were so soft she barely heard them.
“That’s not good enough,” she sobbed. “Tell me to get out of your life. Make it really clear so I’ll know you mean it, so I won’t question it later. So you won’t question it later.”
“You don’t belong here.”
“That’s better.” She gulped. “But still not good enough. Haven’t you ever heard of being cruel to be kind? Just make sure you mean what you say, because this is the only chance you’ll have.” Her voice broke. “You don’t even have to promise to marry me. Just ask me to stay.”
“No!” It was shouted at her, as though something had snapped inside him. “You want me to be cruel, is that what it takes? Does it have to come to this? You’re an intelligent woman, or so I assumed, but this…this performance is ridiculous. I owe you nothing. You want me to tell you to go? Then go. You don’t need my permission.” He stormed to the other side of the room and held open the door for her. “Go back to Texas, Valerie. Marry your cowboy.”
Stunned, she was afraid to move, afraid her legs would no longer support her. She nodded. She moved shakily past him.
“Goodbye,” she whispered and then, unable to resist, brushed her fingertips down the side of his face. When she looked back at this moment, there would be no regrets. She’d offered him everything she had to give, and he was turning her away. There was nothing more she could do.
Colby glanced at his hands, the very hands he used to save lives, and saw they were trembling with the force of an emotion so strong it was all he could do not to smash them into a concrete wall.
When Valerie left, he’d been furious. He would have preferred it if she’d packed her bags and quietly disappeared. That was what he’d envisioned. Not this dreadful scene. Not dragging out their emotions, prolonging the pain.
It shouldn’t have been so difficult for him. This wasn’t a new decision, but one he’d made long before he’d ever kissed her, long before he’d held her in his arms and comforted her.
The phone rang and he seized it, grateful for the reprieve from his thoughts. “Hello,” he snapped, not meaning to sound so impatient.
“Colby, is this a bad time?”
“Sherry…of course not. I was just thinking…” He let the rest fade.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make our dinner tonight, after all.”
How sweet she sounded, Colby mused. Why couldn’t he feel for her the things he felt for Valerie Bloomfield? Heaven knew he’d tried in the past few days. He’d done whatever he could think of to spark their interest in each other, but to no avail.
“My aunt Janice arrived and my parents asked me to take her over to my brother’s place,” Sherry explained. “I hope this isn’t inconvenient for you.”
“No problem.” He heard something else in her voice, a hesitancy, a disappointment, but he chose not to question it.
“Colby.”
“Yes?” The irritation was back, but it wasn’t Sherry who’d angered him. It was his own lack of feeling for her. This past week, he’d spent four evenings with her. He’d held her and kissed her, and each time her kisses had left him cold and untouched.
“I don’t mean to be tactless, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
Her words shocked him. “Why not?” he asked, although he knew the reasons and didn’t blame her.
