He could feel the darkness within him slowly creeping through his veins, threatening to overtake him. And then what? He swallowed hard. If he was still alive when that happened, he knew what he’d do. He knew what he wanted, and he’d stop at nothing to take it. The thought sent a chill down his spine. The surge of thoughts emerged from the back of his mind in a flash. It was more like a series of foreboding images and emotions, rather than specific thoughts. Pressing his eyes shut, he forced them back.
Pausing, Eric breathed hard and pressed his hand to his temple. Picturing the rose window and the way the light passed through it, he took a breath. At the heart of every source of light was the power to destroy—the power to burn. He could feel that power flowing through him like a river, silent and deadly. Focusing on the light, the window, he pushed it back. There was only one thing that gave him hope anymore, and that was it—the patches of colored glass.
Drawing a deep breath, Eric looked up at the massive door, and placed his hand on the wood once more. He wouldn’t knock. He wouldn’t hide. Not anymore. Besides, what were the odds that Natalia was on the other side right at that moment? As the dark magic pulled him through, Eric felt thousands of splinters piercing his skin. There was no air, only steel and endless amounts of wood. Focusing harder, he kept pushing. Eric emerged on the other side of the door as if he were a ghost passing through a wall. Sucking in a gasp of air, he stopped, shocked to see that he nearly walked into the girl.
Natalia was standing in front of him, her expression blank. Her eyes didn’t blink. Her lips didn’t move. She just stared at him, holding a dish in her hands. It slipped and shattered on the marble floor. The broken pieces skittered across the tile, but the girl didn’t move. Dark hair hung over her shoulders, as she stared, standing in front of him barefoot. Gas lamps flickered softly around the perimeter of the room, casting a golden glow on Natalia. She gaped at him in the amber light.
Eric didn’t move, he barely breathed. He’d done that hundreds of times over the years. There had been some close calls, but no one was ever standing so close when he emerged. His throat clenched tightly. Eric’s mind spun, trying to come up with an explanation that didn’t sound insane, but not finding one. People didn’t walk through doors. It wasn’t a trick of the light.
Her voice was steady, unafraid, “Well, that explains a lot.” And it did. It explained everything. He wasn’t mortal. He wasn’t some deranged person. He must have been a Valefar, one of those soul-sucking things that Carina made. What did that mean? Her stomach twisted. If he was a Valefar, it cleared him. It meant that Eric didn’t slaughter her mother. He blinked at her, not responding. Natalia’s voice was soft but firm, “What are you?”
Eric’s eyes locked with Natalia’s. He could tell her. The words were on the tip of his tongue, burning his mouth, dying to be spoken. This was his chance to tell her why he was the way he was. This was the moment. Now. Eric’s stomach filled with icy dread. He couldn’t do this to her. There was no answer that she’d understand. There was no response that wouldn’t send her screaming into the night. Hell, he couldn’t even promise that he wouldn’t hurt her. There were no promises that he could make, no assurances that his evil nature wouldn’t harm her. Hope fizzled as fast as it came. Before he passed through the door, it seemed like a good idea. He assumed he could ease her into it, but she’d been standing there. Shit.
Jaw tense, Eric answered, “Nothing that concerns you, Natalia.” The two stood motionless, neither of them talking. They just watched one another.
Finally, she rolled her eyes, “Of course not. Nothing you do ever concerns me.” Her pink lips pressed together in a thin line, while a million thoughts played out in her eyes.
“It’s better that you don’t know,” he replied. The steady drumming of his heart rang in his ears.
Natalia’s eyes locked with his, a slow rage building behind them. “You seriously expect me to let this go?” She folded her arms tightly over the swells of her chest, locking them in place. She was beyond mad. All this time Eric had been so careful. One moment of insanity, one moment of weakness… God, he wanted to tell her.
Natalia glared at him, her arms starting to shake. Why couldn’t he just say it? It would make her task so much easier. Instead he just stood there like a moron who didn’t think she’d notice a boy walking through a wooden door. Growling at him, she said, “You better tell me something. I know nothing about you...”
He cut her off, “There’s nothing to tell.” The gold in his eyes almost seemed liquid. The muscles in his shoulders were corded tight. Eric bent his fingers once to release the tension growing in his arms.
Natalia saw the movement. She saw everything. “Bullshit!” she yelled, moving closer to his face. Anger pierced her words, “I know more about Carina than I do about you, and that bitch tried to kill me! More than once. That’s right, I was there at her little bordello way before you noticed.” Eric’s eyes narrowed. She could see what she was doing to him, pushing all the right buttons, but he didn’t speak. He didn’t cut her off again. She ranted, “You act like I mean something to you, and then you act like I don’t matter at all! You’re here one day and gone the next, never saying where you are or when you’ll be back.” She shook her head, her long hair swaying as she moved, “I didn’t think you were coming back this time.”
Eric slid his hands into his pockets while she chewed him out. “Why’d you think that? The entire time I’ve known you, I’ve never left you alone for more than a few weeks. You really think I would just up and leave?” The lie felt bitter in his mouth, but he spit it out. She had to believe him. Eric stepped towards her, pressing his face closer to hers without touching her. “You think you mean nothing to me? I’m your friend Natalia.”
She scoffed, “I’m not stupid enough to believe that, Eric. A friend wouldn’t do the shit you’re doing, and I’d know stuff about you.” Her nerves were totally shot. Finally, she’d written him off as her target and then he goes and does something like this. She wanted to scream, and was having difficulty hiding her anger from Eric.
“Like what?” his voice rose a little. What did she want from him? Eric didn’t understand why she was so mad. If anything she should have been frightened, but she wasn’t. Anger was definitely the vibe he was getting from her. Now she was saying she didn’t know him. Of course she didn’t know him, and until now she never pressed. This was a turning point. He could feel it and he didn’t want to lose her. But what to say? Natalia didn’t want to know about his past. Hell, he didn’t want to know about his past. And he wasn’t about to share it with her in the name of friendship. It would do more damage than good, and it wouldn’t help her understand him any better. He remained aloof, waiting for her response.
She shifted back, tilting her head to the side, “God Eric! I don’t know anything!”
“You know enough,” he replied.
Her hands shot out to her sides, her hands balled into fists, “Yeah? I know enough, do I? Let’s count off the things I actually know about you… Oh wait! I can’t!” She stepped towards him, yelling in his face. “Because there’s nothing outside of your dark moods that gives me a fucking clue as to who you are.”
“You know me, Natalia—“
The fury that was building inside of her vented and her shoulders deflated. Natalia shook her head sadly, her voice cracked as she spoke, “I don’t even know your last name.” Her eyes were wide, brilliant blue orbs, pleading with him. She had to know who he was. It felt like her chest ripped in two when he walked through the door, not because he was obviously an immortal, but because he could still be the one—the assassin who she’d been hunting all these years—and she didn’t want him to be. Not Eric. Not after all of this, after everything they’d been through.
She hung her head, her voice faint, “Let’s face it… I don’t know you. I’ll never know you. I have no idea where you’re from, where you go when you’re not here, what your favorite color is,” she shrugged, “you know, pretty basic friend kind of stuff.” Pushing her hair out of her face she looked up at him. It felt like her heart turned to rotten cheese and dropped into her stomach in one large lump. She felt like she was going to be sick.
Natalia continued, “This isn’t rocket science, Eric. It’s not supposed to be hard… ” She looked into his golden eyes, unable to continue spewing things at him, unable to convince him anything. This was Eric, after all. He did what he wanted. The tension in his face, the way his eyes glinted spoke volumes. She sighed, closing her eyes hard, pressing her fingers to her temples.
Natalia had to push him away. If Eric was her mark, she couldn’t feel like this. Her emotions were drowning out her logic. A lifetime of revenge couldn’t be forgiven this easily, and she couldn’t deal with it. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t wonder what’s going through your head. I can’t wonder who you are, and I don’t want to.” Regret forced her spine straight, and before she knew what she was saying, she added, “Not unless you give me something. Boy-with-no-last-name. Guy-who-walks-through-walls.” Smiling sadly, she knew he wouldn’t answer. This was the end. This was good-bye.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Eric knew he should turn around and leave, but he didn’t want to. There was something about her that made him want to stay. Maybe it was Natalia. She was more than a friend and the thought of her walking away made him sick. A normal girl would have run away screaming that he was a demon for walking through a door, but Natalia looked at him the same as always, and those cold blue eyes were demanding an answer.
Eric took a deep breath and looked away. Running his hands through his hair he glanced back at her. There was no way to explain this. There was no way to give her what she wanted. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to tell her, he couldn’t. “No one knows my last name. It has to stay that way.” She bristled, but he continued, “I could have lied to you. I could have said something else, some random name, but I don’t want to do that, Nat. Don’t force me out of your life. Not yet. I don’t want to leave you.”
Her voice was shaking, anger and tension were colliding within her. Why? After all these years of being alone, no one had ever turned her head the way Eric did. Her heart was pounding in her chest like she was breaking up with her first boyfriend even though she didn’t want to. Eric was so infuriating. He wouldn’t tell her, and without that info she didn’t know if she could let him get closer. She’d tried so hard to be better than the monster that killed her mother. She didn’t want to pretend with him anymore. Getting close to him, tasting his kiss and then turning around and killing him—the thought made her throat tighten. She couldn’t breathe. It took every ounce of restraint she had to not kick him. If her foot wasn’t screaming with pain, she would have. Natalia was determined to keep that piece of information to herself.