She nodded, her eyes drifting toward his hand. His smooth skin felt warm—human—not vampire. He slid it away too soon and went back to readying tools on a tray. Nodding to the chaise, he asked her to sit. Kahli sat down and leaned back in the overstuffed chair. Will was standing at her shoulder. She couldn’t see him. Her blood rushed through her body faster and faster. Panic was starting to strangle her.
Her voice was clipped, a little too high, a little too tense, “Tell me what you’re doing.”
Will kneeled next to her and showed her a needle. It was longer than a sewing needle with an equally sharp tip. He held it out to her, but she didn’t take it. “This is used for tastings. I’ll prick your finger and the blood will drip into these little silver dishes. It’s only three drops each, so nothing major. It’s for a taste and nothing more. This isn’t enough for a feeding. It’s more to show off and see if you’ll try and kill me.” He shook his head, smiling tightly. “Anyway, that’s it. A prick of your finger, a couple of drops, then we close the wound and send you back to bed.”
Kahli’s heart was pounding. It didn’t sound bad, but she didn’t like that she was being forced to do it. She tried to relax and accept it, but she couldn’t. When Will reached for her hand, she was shaking. It wasn’t fear. It was something else—some deeply engrained thought that said she failed if they tasted her. Will felt her hand tremble and looked up at her. Kahli had her bottom lip in her mouth and was biting down hard, trying to restrain herself. Every part of her body, every corner of her mind said to fight. Fight him off, kill him. Now.
“Hey,” he said, trying to settle her down, not realizing how unstable she was, “it’s not that bad. I can’t imagine that you’re afraid of anything, so what is it?” After seeing her slaughter a pack of wolves, he didn’t think she was afraid of anything. She mouthed off to the monarchy, as well. But a needle made her tremble. He didn’t get it. Why was she spooked? Will clasped her hand tighter, and looked up at her. “I’m not a wolf. I won’t tear you to shreds.”
Her eyes were glazed over, fighting the impulse to attack. Kahli’s arms were shaking the tiniest amount. It was rage, making her shiver like a frightened cat. Her mind wouldn’t allow herself to think this was okay. It was wrong. On every level it was wrong. But there was nothing she could do. It took every bit of self-restraint she had to sit there. Will held her hand softly, like he cared, but she knew it was a lie. He just needed blood.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she answered, “Just do it.”
Will glanced up at her for a moment. Her voice was strained, her body tense. Her lip was back in her mouth, getting crushed by her teeth. He moved quickly, and pricked her finger with the needle. Kahli stared blankly ahead. She didn’t watch six drops of blood fall. She didn’t want to feel anything. She didn’t want to remember any of this. Will’s warm fingers were on hers, squeezing the blood.
He worked quickly. Doing this to Kahli was like trying to chisel a piece of china. He felt like she’d break at any moment, and when she did—he didn’t know if she’d fall apart or attack everyone and everything in her path. When the last drop fell, he lifted her finger to his lips without thinking. He didn’t tell her that it was normal. He thought she knew.
Kahli sucked in a gasp, suddenly feeling his tongue flick against her finger. Startled, she jerked her hand back.
Will, still kneeling in front of her, looked up into her face, “Sorry. It helps you heal faster. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” His eyes were on hers and her body felt hot. Flushed. Her head was spinning, spinning with denial, betrayal, and a million thoughts she shouldn’t be thinking.
Watching her face, Will saw the cut on her lip open when she pulled her hand away. He leaned in close, slowly. Kahli’s heart was pounding in her chest. His eyes shifted between her lips and her eyes, as if he were asking permission. She sat there, barely able to breathe. Will leaned in closer, his dark lashes lowered, his eyes fixated on the drop of blood on her lip. He shouldn’t do it. He shouldn’t taste her, but he couldn’t let her leave with a cut.
When he felt her warm breath slide across his lips he wanted to kiss her. It was impossible to not picture her in his arms, her body pressed tightly against his. Instead of doing the things he wanted, he blinked slowly and slid his tongue over the cut. Kahli’s blood filled him, warming him. It was only a drop, but it burned through him, consuming him like a raging fire. Blood normally didn’t do that to him. He’d sealed many wounds, tasted many humans, but this—this was different. It was the kind of thing that only existed in fairytales. Her blood was as vibrant and sensual as she was. How could she not know? She sat there watching him like it pained her to be touched, but that was all he wanted to do. The moment her blood touched his tongue, Will wanted to taste her kiss, not just her blood. It was the slow agony of realizing that he could never get enough of her.
Gently, he pulled away, pressing his lips together. Will placed a hand on her shoulder. Kahli’s body was taut, bursting with confusion. She was stiff and giddy and repulsed. The emotions warred within her so fiercely that she didn’t know which one to react to first. When he put her finger in his mouth, she nearly climbed out of her skin. It was beyond her compression, but it made him seem appealing. It should have disgusted her. Drinking blood was the act of monsters and animals. He was both.
Will was both.
God she felt confused. Then when he licked her lower lip, she was lost. It felt like time stopped. It felt like he was everything she wanted and nothing she needed. Kahli didn’t know if these feelings were normal. She didn’t understand Will’s reaction, or lack thereof. After he nearly kissed her, he pulled away and prepared the trays. He didn’t even look back at her until the Queen’s servant arrived and took the tray. Only then did Will turn back and offer his arm. She stood, feeling like she was blindsided, and they walked back to her room in silence.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“Pssst,” Cassie’s voice was low.
Kahli had been staring at the ceiling for over an hour. Her heart was still pounding from what Will had done to her. She was so messed up. Her family was slaughtered by vampires, and she was turned on by one. What the hell was wrong with her?
“Pssst! Kahli, I know you’re awake.” A pillow launched at her head. Instinctively, Kahli reached out and grabbed it before it landed. “Are you okay? Was it a feeding?”
“No,” Kahli whispered, “a tasting. That’s it.”
“Oh,” her voice lost some of its curiosity. “Then what’s wrong? The other two aren’t here yet. It’s just us. You can tell me if you want. Or we can talk about something else. You seem freaked. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She was twisting her blankets and looking at Kahli in the dark.
The other two were never there this early, and it was after two in the morning. She wondered where they were but didn’t want to know. The less she knew, the better. It was hard enough staying here, as it was. “I’m okay. It just surprised me. That’s all.”
“What surprised you? I told you everything. And it wasn’t like it was a feeding, so they used your finger, not your neck, right?”
She nodded, staring at the ceiling, twisting her blanket between her fingers, “Yeah. I just didn’t expect to feel anything but rage. You know? When Will sealed the wound… I just—” the sensations she’d been fighting fluttered through her again.
Cassie’s voice was serious, much more so than usual, “What are you talking about? What feelings? He didn’t have sex with you, did he? Will wouldn’t do that, right?” She sounded like she wasn’t certain any more.
Kahli wasn’t really listening. She was thinking about Will’s lips so close to hers. She could still feel his breath slipping across her mouth. She flinched when Cassie’s question sunk in. She propped herself up and stared at the other girl, “No! He didn’t do anything like that.”
“Then what’d he do?”
“He licked the wound shut. He did what you said, but it felt like a million butterflies exploded inside of me, all bustling to break free. It made me shiver so hard that I bit my lip, and when he closed that cut, it was worse. Oh my god, it was worse. I’ve never felt like that. Ever.” Her green eyes were wide, pleading, “Tell me that’s some vamp voodoo. Tell me it wasn’t something else.”
Cassie’s expression faltered while Kahli spoke. The sad smile on her face said everything, “It happens, Kahli. It’s not a big deal. You have a little crush on your Handler, that’s all. It makes sense. A girl gets filled with fear and the nearest guy is the one who reaps the rewards. That was Will. It’s nothing,” she assured her, “It’ll pass. Everyone gets something like that.”
Kahli laid back down on her pillow. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, unblinking, “Did you? Did you feel that intensely about your Handler the first time they took your blood?”
Cassie was quiet for a moment, remembering. It was a long time ago. She was nervous, but the emotions that Kahli was describing weren’t nerves. They were lust. “No, I didn’t feel like that. Not really.”
Kahli pressed her eyes closed and tried to block out Will’s face—his eyes. They were so blue, like twin gems. She couldn’t stop picturing his lips on her finger, his tongue brushing her mouth. With a strained voice she asked, “And it was Will?”
“Yes, but Kahli… ” Cassie glanced over at her, but Kahli cut her off.
“It’s fine.” Nothing happened. There was no reason to freak out. There was a logical explanation for all this. There was no way Kahli went from hating vampires to being infatuated with one. She wasn’t that stupid. “It’s not a big deal, right? Some people have different reactions to things. It would make sense that I’d react differently. I just had an adverse reaction to Will. That’s all.” Wide-eyed she stared at the ceiling, her heart still pounding.