"I've realized my mistake wasn't in trying to be both. It was in not learning how to do it well. I need you, Kougar. I'm not giving you up again. It's not even in the best interest of my race to do so. In the coming war, the Ilinas need strong allies, and there are none stronger than you and your men."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that the Ilinas can help in this war, and you're going to let us this time."
A smile softened her words, but the steel in her eyes told him there would be no talking her out of it. And, truthfully, he didn't want to.
"I'll be fighting at your side, Kougar, living at Feral House, if your chief will have me. Melisande and Brielle have been ruling the Crystal Realm for centuries. They don't need me for that. And, unless I'm mistaken, I'm needed here." She reached out and placed her hand over his heart. "With you."
Kougar felt his mouth stretch, widening into a fierce, primal smile as his world righted itself, finally. Completely.
He hauled Ariana against him, still grinning, loving her with his eyes as he leaned forward to kiss her. Lilies of the valley filled his senses, love singing its Ilina song in his head--the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard aside from Ariana's sweet voice. His heart overflowed on a rush of love that cleansed him, inside and out.
"You're needed," he murmured against her soft lips. "By the Ferals, but more, far more, by me. Be my mate, Ariana. Renew the mating bond in the ritual with me. Be mine for always."
She pulled back to look into his eyes, her own shining with the same endless well of love and glistening tears.
"I always have been yours, Kougar. And I always will be. Always."
Epilogue
In the ritual room deep beneath Feral House, Lyon intoned the ancient rite of mating as he dribbled the combined blood of the Ferals in a circle around the mating altar, a job that was usually Kougar's. That night Kougar played a different role. As the chanting continued, he drove into the woman beneath him, the glorious love of his life, her bright blue eyes shining with love and heat and power as they joined in this most elemental way, opening minds and hearts and souls to the power that would bind them for eternity. This time, without the interference of her maidens.
The room was nearly full to overflowing, the Ilinas acting as a privacy curtain as they circled the altar, their backs to the mating pair, a shimmering curtain of energy. Beyond them, the Ferals stood, their own power riding the floral-scented air, for before the mating ritual, Kougar had filled the room with flowers.
The chanting ended. Without looking, Kougar knew Lyon had poured the last of their mingled blood into one of the ritual fires. The resulting burst of power barreled through him. As one, he and Ariana came with roars of unbridled joy, and he sank into the beauty of her essence as she turned to mist.
Inside, the mating bond, which had already been all but fully renewed, transformed in a brilliant arc of light that flared out into the room from their joined bodies in a beautiful crystalline glow. A bond so much deeper, stronger, and far more beautiful than the original, than he'd ever thought possible.
Ariana, her gaze locked with his, began to laugh, and he joined her, euphoric, then pulled out of her to kneel on the altar and adjust his clothing. She turned back to flesh and sat up, lowering her ritual gown to her knees.
The Ilinas moved away, and Kougar leaped off the altar, swinging his bride into his arms.
A cheer went up from his brothers as they moved forward, congratulating him, embracing his mate, the wariness with which they'd always treated him at bay, if not entirely gone. Which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Someone had to keep this lot on their toes.
As the Ferals gave way, the Ilinas gathered around Ariana with soft touches and presses of cheek to cheek. They were happy for their queen and friend, but their wariness of him and the rest of the Ferals wasn't altogether gone. Not by a long shot.
"Where's Melisande?" Kougar asked, when the last of the Ilinas had stepped back, giving them some room. He knew Ariana's second had been there during the mating.
"She left."
"She was hoping you'd end it with me once and for all."
"Melisande's coming around." With a soft smile, she shrugged. "She not only didn't try to stop the mating, she attended . . . and didn't try to kill anyone."
"I see your point. I guess that's the best we're going to get for now."
"For now."
"Tighe!" Delaney's cry sent the room into a spiraling silence. Tighe and Hawke, both still unconscious, had been placed on pallets along one wall and blooded with the rest of the Ferals. The Shaman had urged them to include the pair in all possible rituals, hoping to draw them back into the world. Delaney had spent the ritual sitting on the pallet at Tighe's head, stroking his hair.
But at her cry, all hearts clutched with fear, Kougar's included. Until he saw Tighe's eyes blink open, a dimpled smile lifting his mouth as he stared up at his mate.
Kougar let out a deep breath of relief. Thank the goddess.
"Did I dream you're carrying our baby, D?" Tighe's voice was hoarse with disuse but possessed a thread of strength that told Kougar he was going to be fine.
"You didn't dream it." Delaney cried out again, this time with laughter, as Tighe pulled her down on top of him and kissed her thoroughly. The Ferals numbered seven active warriors again and would soon number eight, even without Hawke. The new fox shifter had made contact and should be arriving in the next few days.
But one of the bands around Kougar's chest remained too tight. His gaze went to Hawke, lying alone, still lost to the darkness. Kougar had to believe that his friend would recover. He'd already made it his mission to talk to him for long hours--stories of the past, and the Wind. Stories that might stir his mind and encourage him to return to them.
And when Hawke finally woke, he'd tell him those stories again. He'd tell Hawke everything he wanted to know.
He turned back to find Ariana shaking her head softly.
"What's the matter?"
She nodded to her maidens, crowded against the wall farthest from Tighe and the Ferals.
"Opposite sides of the room, as if we've brought together warring factions," she murmured, curving her arm tight around his waist. "It doesn't need to be like this."
But even as she said the words, Kara and Skye approached Brielle with smiles and hands of friendship.
Kougar stroked Ariana's beloved head. "It's going to work out. Eventually."
"I suppose."
He turned her until she faced him, his arms loose around her back. "Trust takes time, Ariana. More time than it should for some of us. But when it happens, the Earth moves."
A smile lit her beautiful face. "I love you, Feral. Have I told you that?"
"You have." He kissed her. "But tell me again. And again. And again," he said, punctuating each with another kiss. "I love you, Ariana. More than I'll ever find words for." He pulled her against him, pressing her head to his heart as emotion nearly got the better of him. All those years of thinking her dead, of grieving for her. Of missing her.
Having her in his arms again was a miracle he would never stop giving thanks for. Not only was she in his arms, and in his life, but she was his as she'd never been before. Because he'd learned to give to her completely.
Across the room, his gaze caught Jag's as the jaguar shifter held his own mate against his chest, his eyes gleaming with suspicious moisture. An understanding Kougar wouldn't have thought possible even a few weeks ago passed between them.
Jag clenched his fingers behind his mate's back, his hand forming a thumbs-up. Kougar felt his mouth twitch with a smile and mirrored the move.
Jag threw his head back and laughed, drawing a chuckle from Kougar. His heart felt lighter than it had since he was a boy.
Ariana looked up at him, her eyes dancing. "You laughed."
"You make me happier than I've ever been."
A loving smile wreathed her face. "Then my life's goal is complete. And Kougar?"
"Hmm?"
"I feel the same."
Inside, his cat purred with satisfaction. And his heart gave a triumphant roar.