But I was distracted by his low growling sounds as he tended to me—drying my br**sts, softly rubbing the curls between my legs. His shaft grew stiff again, swaying with his movements.
Were we about to start this all over again? Was I learning nothing? In all these interludes with Sevastyan, I hadn’t been Natalie. I’d been Natalya. And that brainless hussy didn’t seem to know better.
I stepped back from him, turned to search for my clothes. “I need to get dressed. We need to.”
“Don’t do this,” he murmured from behind me.
“Another command?” Snatching up a robe for myself, I tossed him a towel.
He must’ve sensed I was about to freak out, because he covered himself, wrapping it around those narrow hips. “You regret this?” His voice was filled with disbelief. “You can’t. I won’t let you.” As if he hadn’t shocked me enough today, he scooped me up in his arms.
“What are you doing?”
He sat on the bench, cradling me, cupping the back of my head in a protective embrace.
Only fair, since he’d shattered me today.
In the cloak of the steam, I nearly broke down. “How can you change me so much?” I whispered against his ear. “How?” At one point I’d thought I would lose my mind.
“I haven’t. I’ve just shown you a different facet of yourself.”
Clasping him tight, using him like a lifeline, I buried my face in the spot where his neck met his shoulder. “Why are you showing me these things?”
He said nothing.
I pulled back to meet his eyes, found it impossible not to kiss his face. My lips touched upon the askew bridge of his nose, his chin, then smoothed over the lean perfection of his cheeks. He squeezed me tighter against him, seeming to relish this attention, this affection from me.
Between kisses, I asked, “What do you want from me?”
Silence.
“Did you mean what you said about obsession?”
He turned his head away.
“Ugh!” I disentangled myself from him and scrambled to my feet, searching for my undergarments. “You infuriate me!” I found my panties near the fire, half dry from the heat. Dragged them on.
Bra. Where the hell was my—got it. I turned from him, shucked off my robe, then strapped on my bra.
“Damn it, Natalie, I don’t know what to say to you to ease the way you feel.”
“Of course you don’t.” I whirled around on him. “Because we’re all but strangers! I don’t know you!” With difficulty, I pulled my damp pants up my legs.
“What do you want to know?”
I had so many questions. How to decide on a first? “Those tattoos on your knees—they mean you’ll kneel before no one, don’t they?” According to my research. “Which would indicate that you’re a vor yourself.”
“That doesn’t matter. I follow Kovalev.”
Sevastyan was as much of a criminal aristocrat as my father. Yet another detail I’d had no idea about. “That’s all you’re going to say about it?” When I spotted my blouse, I pounced on it.
“I don’t find it easy to talk about myself.”
My fingers paused on my buttons. “Well, it wasn’t easy for me to let you tie me up! But I trusted you in this.”
“Would you take that back? Undo this afternoon, if you could?” He collected his own clothes, beginning to dress.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t understand it, or you.” I shoved my wet hair back, knotting it at my nape. “You ignored me for weeks, then put on the full-court press today. Why now?”
“Paxán thought, and I agreed, that everything would be overwhelming for you here.”
I’d never felt pressure like I had here. Never.
“When I confessed to him that I’d crossed a line with you, he asked me to give you room to breathe for a couple of weeks. He said you were young, and that I needed to let you find your feet. So I gave him my word that I would allow you space.”
“For a couple of weeks.” It all became clear. The countdown I’d sensed.
Today was my fourteenth day at Berezka. The clock had zeroed out.
“I was ordered not to speak to you in Nebraska; here I was forbidden to seek you out for that time.”
I’d never thought about him having to wait to meet me over that month he’d spied on me. He’d already admitted that he’d fantasized about me sexually as he’d stalked me. How frustrating to watch and never be able to touch.
No, no, no, you’re furious with him, remember?
“I think Paxán expected you to want Filip. Perhaps I did as well.”
No wonder Sevastyan had been so angry when he’d thought Filip had been about to kiss me. “So what happens now?”
“Now?” He donned his pants. “Now I’m done allowing you space.”
Was he joking? As I studied his face, I heard something outside. A truck? “Sevastyan, is someone here?”
He sat down to pull on his boots. “While I saw to the horses, I called the groom, told him to retrieve us in no less than two hours.”
“Two hours? He’ll know what we’ve been doing! We’re going to walk out there and a steam cloud will billow out, and he’ll know. Or he’ll think he knows, and he’ll tell everyone! It won’t matter that we didn’t sleep together. Everyone will believe we did.”