"D on't call her pathetic. She just needs some help," Venus said automatically.
"Well, she certainly has it now."
"Yes, she does." Venus drew herself up, straightening her elegant spine and lifting her perfect chin. "I am Goddess of Love. I can certainly bring happiness and ecstasy to a mortal - modern or not."
"Venus, you don't know anything about modern mortals."
"What possible difference does that make? I know love, and love is timeless."
"What are you going to do?"
"Go to Pea, of course." Thinking, Venus began to brighten. "She'll need a complete makeover -
new clothes, hair, attitude, everything. Actually, it'll be fun and I'll be performing a good deed."
Persephone looked doubtful.
"Once I've made her over I'll take her out and give her a few simple lessons on how to seduce men, and she'll be able to experience all the happiness and ecstasy she desires."
"And how are you going to find her?"
Venus stopped and thought for a moment, then smiled. "We're bound together, remember? I know where she is right now." The goddess pointed toward Midtown Tulsa. "Pea is there."
Persephone let out a very ungoddessly snort. "Of course she's there. There is a big area."
"Don't be so droll. I meant that I can feel exactly where she is. I can will myself to her doorstep if I wish." Venus laughed lightly. "It's not like I'm here with no powers."
"No, but if I don't give you these it'll be worse than having no powers - you'll have no money."
Persephone dug into her purse and pulled out a thick wallet. She flipped it open. "Okay, remember how I paid for things today? These" - she ran a manicured nail down a row of neatly placed plastic - "are credit cards. Think of them as you would bars of gold, only these won't run out - they have no limit. Remember to sign the slip of paper the clerk gives you and be sure to get the card back after you've made the purchase. Oh, wait. Let me fix them first." Persephone clicked her fingers and the name on the cards changed from Persephone Santoro to Venus Smith.
"Why do I have to have such an average-sounding name?"
Persephone rolled her eyes. "How's this?" She clicked her fingers again, and the embossed name changed to Venus Pontia, which means "born of the sea."
"Much better."
"Now please pay attention and stop complaining. This" - she opened a compartment, exposing a thick wad of neatly placed bills - "is cash."
"I know how to use coins," Venus said.
Thunder rumbled overhead and the goddesses glanced up.
"Zeus?" Venus asked.
"No, you really don't have to worry about him here. What you're hearing is an authentic Oklahoma thunderstorm, which really shouldn't be happening in February, but with Oklahoma weather you never really know what to expect."
"You should go before it begins raining," Venus said.
"I don't know.... I don't like leaving you here."
"I'll be perfectly fine. I've traversed the ancient world. I can certainly navigate my way around the Kingdom of Tulsa."
"It's not a kingdom."
"I was just testing to be certain you're listening."
Persephone rolled her eyes again. "Don't tell anyone besides Pea who you really are. Oh, and you'll have to perform some magic to convince Pea that you're not a raving madwoman."
Venus frowned.
"You're not in the ancient world anymore. No one believes in us here. That's usually a good thing. For you, stuck here, it could be a very bad thing if you act too eccentric."
"By Hera's freezing tits I am not eccentric!" At Persephone's knowing expression Venus held her hands up in mock surrender. "What? The curses? Do you mean the curses?"
"You really should try to stop using them."
"I don't see why," she muttered.
"Would you please just trust me on this one? You need to fit in because you can't fulfill the invocation oath from the psychiatric ward of a hospital."
Venus's smooth brow wrinkled in confusion.
"Just try to keep a low profile. Follow Pea's lead. She'll help you."
"I'll be perfectly fine," Venus repeated, giving her a gentle push toward the portal. "Go on. You don't want to make Demeter angry."
"All right." Persephone moved reluctantly to the portal.
"If anyone asks after me I prefer you tell them I'm vacationing in the modern world."
"Don't worry. This is no one's business but yours." Before Persephone stepped through the glowing sphere she said, "Oh, and go easy on questioning people about how often they masturbate and whether they look at their genitals. Modern mortals don't usually share that information with strangers."
As Persephone and the glowing orb disappeared, Venus muttered, "They don't talk about masturbation and their genitals? No wonder this world needs my aid."
At that moment the sky opened and belched cold February rain upon the Goddess of Love.
Venus materialized in the shadow of the large oak in Pea's front yard. She'd been right when she told Persephone she'd have no problem finding Pea. It was like the little mortal was drawing her with an unbreakable chain, which was a good thing because it saved Venus from searching all over Tulsa in a nasty storm to find her. As it was, she was thoroughly miserable: shivering, wet and totally disgruntled. In retrospect Venus realized that she could have commanded the raindrops not to touch her, but wouldn't that be engaging in the kind of eccentric behavior Persephone had warned her against? Or did that just apply to genital issues? It was all so confusing. What she knew for sure was that Pea's little house looked warm and inviting with its wide front porch and its lights blazing cheerfully. Well, she reminded herself, this is my mortal. The woman who invoked my aid. There's no need for me to be hesitant. She should be overjoyed to welcome me as her guest. Holding that thought, Venus ran through the mud puddles to Pea's porch, thankful the generous roof held off the horrid cold rain. She took a moment to toss her hair back, knowing that even though it was wet, it still looked slick and sexy. She did grimace briefly when she glanced down at the silk knit sweater that was peppered with unattractive rain spots and her exquisite new black crocodile boots that were muddy and wet. At least the clothing Persephone had called jeans held up well in the torrential downpour. The Goddess of Love pinched her cheeks, chasing away the cold paleness that had lodged there, and put a brilliant smile on her face. Then she knocked on Pea's door.
Maniacal barking practically vibrated the walls. What type of beast did Pea own? Cerberus? One could only imagine. The door cracked and Venus recognized the frizzy tufts of Pea's out-ofcontrol hair. Had the girl not taken her advice and purchased the coconut oil?
"Yes? Who is it?"
"It is I!" Venus proclaimed. When the mortal didn't respond she added, "Venus, Goddess of Love." When she still didn't respond she said, "Your goddess. Remember? You invoked me at the restaurant."
"I have my phone in my hand and my finger on the quick dial nine-one-one button, which I can push any second."
Venus's brows drew together. "That sounds lovely, darling. Could you do that while I'm inside, too? It's rather wet out here."
"What do you want?"
Venus stifled a frustrated sigh. "To fulfill your desire for happiness and ecstasy, of course. Didn't we already discuss this?"
"How did you find me?"
"Well, that's an interesting story. I believe that your invocation and my acceptance of it has somehow bound us together. You drew me here - so here I am."
"I'm really sorry, but I think you should go away."
Venus suddenly felt very near tears again and her words broke on an unexpected sob. "But it's cold out here and I don't know where else to go."
The crack in the door got bigger. Venus could see that Pea's hair was down and in wild disarray all around her shoulders. And, worse, she was wearing some kind of nightwear that was a sweet pink color, but was also one piece and had feet attached to it. The Goddess of Love decided it made the mortal looked prepubescent.
"Don't cry," Pea said.
"I'm not." Venus sniffed and wiped her eyes. "It's just that nothing has gone the way I planned today, including you."
"Okay. You can come in. If you say you won't mug and kill me."
"I don't know what 'mug' means, but it doesn't sound polite. And I certainly don't want to harm you, let alone kill you."
"Well, then you can come in," Pea said reluctantly. Standing aside Pea ushered her into the foyer of the neat little bungalow.
Relieved, Venus stepped into warmth that smelled like baking ambrosia. Then an angry ball of rather chubby black fur growled furiously at her.
"Manners, Chloe!" Pea said sternly.
Chloe growled again and barked a warning.
Venus laughed. "With all that voice you must be as mighty as Cerberus!"
At the sound of the goddess's musical laughter, Chloe stopped growling.
"What a passionate girl!" She squatted down in front of the dog and then glanced up at Pea. "Did you say her name is Chloe?"
"Yes, but be careful. She doesn't like strangers."
"Well, that's just fine because Love is never a stranger. Am I right, Chloe my darling?" Venus cooed, stretching out her hand to the dog. Chloe sniffed delicately at her, and her tail started to thump. Just then a large gray tabby padded delicately into the room. "Oh, and what a handsome beast you are!" Venus said.
"That's Max," Pea said as the cat began twining his body around her unexpected houseguest.
"He loves everyone."
"You needn't explain that to me," Venus said happily, running one hand down the cat's body in a long caress while she scratched Chloe's ears with the other. "Love recognizes one of her own."
When she finally stood up to face Pea, both animals curled contentedly at her feet. "Good evening, Pea. Thank you for welcoming me into your home."
"Are you lost? Can I call someone for you?"
"No, but that is a kind offer. You're really a very compassionate young woman, aren't you?"
"But if you're not lost then - "
"I'm not lost, Pea. I am trapped here."
"Trapped? Here? You mean in my house?"
"No, I mean in your world." At Pea's blank look Venus tried to explain. "The world of modern mortals. I used to call it the Kingdom of Tulsa, but Persephone explained to me that this isn't literally a kingdom - it's a city."
"Persephone? The goddess?"
"Of course."
"And is she outside in the rain, too?"
"Oh, no. She was able to return to Olympus. It's only me who was unable to go back through the portal."
"So you don't live here?"
Venus frowned. "Of course not, darling. I have a perfectly lovely temple on Mount Olympus. I was here visiting. I bought these fabulous boots." She pointed a toe so Pea could admire her new acquisition. "They did look better before they got wet and muddy."
Pea clutched on the one normal thing the woman had said. "Why don't you take your boots off and let them dry? I'll get you a towel and something warm to drink and then we can figure out what to..." She paused, obviously struggling to find the right thing to say. "To do to help you."
"But that's just it! It's not what you can do to help me, but what I can do to help you - then I'll be able to return to Olympus and the ancient world of the gods."
"How about we start with a towel and some hot chocolate?"
"Sounds divine."
Venus pulled off her boots while Chloe and Max watched with open adoration and Pea brought her a thick pink towel that smelled delightfully of lavender. Then she led Venus into a cozy kitchen that was brightly lit and immaculate. Venus sat at the little antique breakfast table that was hand painted with wildflowers.
"I was just making myself some hot chocolate. It'll only take me a second to add to it so there'll be enough for both of us."
Venus towel dried her hair while she watched Pea move confidently around the room. "You are an excellent cook, aren't you?"
Surprised at the observation, Pea smiled at Venus over her shoulder while she continued to stir the milk and dark chocolate mixture. "Yes, I am a good cook."
"And your home is so lovely and comfortable. I can already see that you use colors wisely to make it feel open and welcoming."
"Thank you." Pea blushed a little.
"Which makes your personal appearance all the more confusing." Pea's spine straightened and she stopped filling her mug midpour. Venus hurried on. "I don't mean to insult you - just the opposite actually. What I mean is that it seems to me that you shouldn't have had to invoke my aid at all. You seem to understand style and aesthetics very well."
"Only when it has to do with my home or even my work. When it's me, well, that's like a whole other world, or at least it's seemed like that since high school."
"Very interesting," Venus mused. Then she smiled brightly. "But now I'm here and Love herself will aid you in attaining your dreams!"
Pea joined Venus at the table, handing her the buttercup-colored mug and a vintage blue linen napkin that was hand embroidered. As an automatic afterthought Pea reached for a tin on the nearby granite-topped counter that was decorated with pictures of Scottie dogs. She opened it and offered Venus one of the imported sourdough cookies she always kept inside. Venus took one and chewed daintily, then sipped her hot chocolate. "Pea, this is delicious."
"Thank you," Pea said.
They ate and drank in silence. Venus looked around her with obvious curiosity at the lovely little home, and Pea tried not to stare too openly at her beautiful, but mysterious and mentally unsound, guest.
"The yellow of the walls is the same color as that of the cups from which we're drinking. That's an especially pleasing touch," Venus said.
"Okay. Who are you? Really."
Venus blinked in surprise. "But I already told you."
"It's impossible that you're Venus."
"If you really believe that then why did you so earnestly invoke my aid?"
Pea fidgeted with a cookie. She looked up into the woman's unusual violet eyes and saw only kindness there. "I was tired of being invisible."
Venus didn't have to be bound to Pea by an oath to recognize the pain and honesty in her words. She took her hand. "Tell me."
"I'm worse than plain and ordinary. Where men are concerned" - she paused, thinking about the nerdy guys who did ask her out and grimaced - "or at least men I might find attractive, it's like I don't exist."
Venus squeezed her hand. "Go on."
"As you've already noticed, I have no style. My hair and clothes are never right." Pea moved her shoulders restlessly. "It started when I was about fourteen. I made this great dance squad at school - one that was tough to get on. I never really thought about how I looked or dressed or whatever before then." She smiled sheepishly. "I guess I was dorky, but too busy getting good grades and taking zillions of dance classes to know it. Anyway I thought I fit in with the rest of the girls." Pea hesitated and pain flashed through her eyes. "I was wrong. I was a good dancer. I made good grades. I tried to be nice to everyone, but I wasn't good enough."
"Oh, darling, of course you're good enough!" Venus felt very close to tears again. Pea smiled bravely. "Well, I am smart. So I taught myself how to keep a nice home, how to cook like a gourmet, how to excel at my job. And today I decided that maybe, with, uh, your help and a how-to book, I could learn to be a better woman."
"Oh, child. I can already tell that you are a wonderful woman. You don't need to learn to be a better one. All you need to learn to do is to show the world the truth of what you already are and to leave the past in the past."
"I wish that were possible."
"Of course it is possible!"
Pea smiled. "With the aid of Venus, Goddess of Love."
"So you do believe I'm Venus."
Pea blushed again. "Well, no. But I think you're beautiful enough to be the Goddess of Love."
"Actually, I'm Goddess of Sensual Love, Beauty and the Erotic Arts," Venus corrected her, and then sighed. "What shall I do to convince you? Do you have something you would like me to gild in gold? Have you a tree you would like coaxed into bearing fruit?" She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Winter is still upon us, not that that matters, although I'm sure Persephone would say making a tree fruitful in winter is imprudent behavior."
In spite of the crazy circumstances, Pea had to smile. "Why not make Chloe a cat? She's been around Max since she was a puppy, and she's grown up believing she's a Scottie cat, rather than a Scottie dog."
Venus glanced down at Chloe, who sat by Pea's feet. "So you think you're a cat?" Chloe thumped her tail happily against the floor, and the Goddess grinned at the precocious black dog.
"Well, then I suppose you should be a cat." With a small, simple gesture Venus flicked her fingers at Chloe. The air surrounding the dog suddenly began to shimmer with diamond-colored glitter, and with a popping sound, the Scottie disappeared and in her place sat a big black cat with over-large ears and odd-looking tufts of fur around her face that made her look like she had a beard.
Every bit of color drained from Pea's face. "Chloe?" She choked out the word. The cat's tail beat happily against the kitchen floor.
With a trembling hand, Pea reached down and touched what used to be her dog. Chloe purred riotously and her tail thumped harder. Pea's wide-eyed gaze shot to Venus.
"You are Venus, Goddess of Love." She put her hand to her head. "I think I may be sick."
Concerned by her sudden pallor, Venus fanned her with a linen napkin. "Should I get you something? I could conjure a lovely goblet of ambrosia. It's really very refreshing."
"No! I just need to breathe." Pea gulped air. Max sauntered into the room, took one look at Chloe, hissed and backed out of the room so fast that his claws slid and paws skittered like he was on ice instead of tile. Chloe just tilted her head to the side and meowed questioningly.
"Could you please change her back?" Pea asked faintly.
The goddess shrugged. "Of course." With a flick of her wrist and more glitter, Chloe was once again a Scottie dog. As if she'd just come in out of the rain, Chloe shook herself and then sneezed violently before padding out of the room to find Max. "There! She's good as new,"
Venus said. Pea was still staring at her. "What?"
"Well, uh, ma'am. I mean Your Highness - no that's a queen, not a goddess," Pea murmured nervously before blurting, "I don't know what to call you!"
The goddess smiled. "Darling, Venus will do."