Zoey
So, I was nervous about first hour and what Thanatos was gonna say about losing a parent-specifically my mom-but the day was starting out really well. For the first time in a really long time Stark was awake before me, and so I got woken up with kisses and him calling me Sleeping Beauty. He wolfed down the most ginormic bowl full of Cap'n Crunch I'd ever seen, and in the parking lot outside the depot he was messing around with Darius, doing a little mock boxing match while kids were filling up the short bus.
I was already on the bus watching him out the window with what I'm sure was a goofy happy smile on my face when Aphrodite emerged from the depot. I was surprised to see her 'cause I figured she'd be so hungover and exhausted that she would definitely not be going to school today. She squinted and then put on sunglasses, even though it was 7:30 P.M. and there was no sun at all.
"She don't look good," Kramisha said from her seat behind me.
"How can you tell from this far away?"
"She got flats on and her hair's in a ponytail. That girl never wears flats and her hair usually looks like Barbie," Kramisha said. "I mean regular Barbie and not none of those weird dolls like Tennis Barbie or Go to the Gym Barbie."
"Everyone knows Barbie doesn't have to work out to keep her kick-ass body," Shaunee said.
"Bull truth," Stevie Rae said.
"Huh?" I said, totally befuddled.
"Just trust us. Aphrodite don't look good," Kramisha repeated.
"She doesn't even have any lip gloss on. Bad sign," Erin said.
"If she doesn't have on any eye makeup, Hell has officially frozen over," Shaunee said, which was interesting because that's as close as she'd gotten to a Twin comment in days.
I glanced at Shaunee, who was sitting in the front seat of the bus, as far away from Erin's place in the back as she could get. Shaunee was digging in her purse like she'd misplaced a tube of one of MAC's seasonal lipsticks that you buy and fall in love with AND THEN THEY
DISCONTINUE IT BECAUSE THEY REALLY HATE US AND WANT US TO BE CRAZY.
Anyway, I was sure Shaunee's cheeks looked pink. So, was she embarrassed about the kinda accidental Twin comment she had made, or excited about it? I didn't have much time to consider which it could be because Aphrodite climbed into the bus and sat heavily in the first seat behind the driver's chair, which was directly in front of me.
"Coffee," she croaked. "I told Darius we have to swing the short bus through Starbucks at Utica on the way. I'm going to die if I don't get an uber-sweet caramel double espresso coffee drink and a giant slab of their blueberry coffee cake."
"Them's a lot of calories," Kramisha told her.
"If you try to stop me I will kill you dead," Aphrodite said.
"I think your hair looks good like that," Shaunee told her.
"For shit's sake, I don't need the pity of half a brain-sharer. I do not feel that damn bad." Shaunee skewered her with a look. "I'm not half of anything and I'm not giving you any pity. I was just sayin' I like your hair 'cause you usually don't wear it like that, but if you're too much of a bitch to accept a compliment then you can fuck yourself." The entire bus inhaled a giant breath. The silence was total and frightening. I wasn't sure whether I should summon elements or run. Then Aphrodite pulled her sunglasses down her nose and looked over their rims at Shaunee. Her eyes were pink-tinged and bruised and just all-around horrendously unattractive, but they were shining with humor. "I think I like you using a brain of your own."
"Yeah, well, I haven't decided if I like you at all, but your hair still looks good."
"Huh," Aphrodite said.
"Huh," Shaunee said.
We all breathed a long sigh of relief.
And that's pretty much how the day proceeded. Stark was back to his old, charming, sexy, totally fabulous self. When I asked what the heck had gotten into him he said, "Z, I slept like a log and I feel like Superman today!" Seriously. Superman. And, apparently, he meant it 'cause he was zooming around everywhere, laughing and being a total guy.
He was the cutest thing I'd seen since that Trololo Cat YouTube video.
So, before school was cool. The ride to school was even okay. Well, Aphrodite was grumpy, but that was pretty much normal. Plus, she was actually talking to Shaunee, which was nice 'cause it was obvious Shaunee wasn't sure who she was now that she wasn't one half of the Twin team.
And we did stop at Starbucks on the way. I know fledglings aren't supposed to feel caffeine highs anymore, but it definitely seemed like we were all buzzing by the time we pulled into the House of Night.
Of course once we got to school everything else was, as Stevie Rae would've said, as under control as herding cats.
It all started with first hour. Okay, I hadn't actually forgotten Thanatos was going to use me as an example for her how-do-we-deal-with-losing-parents class project or whatever. I'd just kinda misplaced the memory of it, which probably had to do with Stark being so dang adorable and me being so dang happy he was acting like himself again.
And maybe I hadn't wanted to remember. Maybe I'd just wanted to not be momless and heartbroken for a little while.
Anyway, my selective amnesia didn't last more than just about two-point-five seconds after I stepped into first hour and followed Stevie Rae and Rephaim up front. Aurox was there, just where he'd been yesterday. He met my gaze for an instant before he looked away. Then I remembered what was up-that class wasn't just going to be me being entertained or me daydreaming. Class was gonna be, well, me. That totally made my stomach clench and suddenly I was nervous and anxious and wishing I'd gotten permission to go to the bathroom or the nurse or anywhere except class.
It was only later that I realized my seer stone, for the first time, hadn't heated up at the sight of him because, of course, Thanatos started to talk, which totally distracted me by putting the cherry on top of my anxiety sundae.
"I read your questions and found a common theme in many of them," she said. "Quite a few of you expressed a desire to discuss how to deal with the loss of your parents. The truth is if you complete the Change and become vampyres, you will inevitably lose not just your parents, but all of your mortal contemporaries because, as you already know, although vampyres are not immortal we are definitely longer lived than humans. So, to help us delve into this subject I have solicited the aid of the only one of your peers who has lost a parent, as well as a mate, to death-Zoey Redbird." I wanted to die.
Everyone was quiet and paying attention, even the jerky red fledgling back row that surrounded Dall as.
"First, let me begin with a word of encouragement," Thanatos said. "As you know, my affinity is death. I often guide spirits in their crossing from this world to the Otherworld, so I can tell each of you with certainty that there is an Otherworld waiting for us. I have not traveled there, but Zoey has." She smiled encouragement to me. "I believe you have seen both your mate and your mother joyously welcomed into Nyx's realm."
"Yes." I realized my voice was way too soft, so I cleared my throat and tried again, louder. "Yes, I saw my mom welcomed by Nyx, and I actually spent time there with Heath."
"And is it a beautiful place?"
I felt a little of the sickness leave my stomach as I remembered the good part. "Yeah, it's awesome. Even when my soul was shattered and I was super messed up, I could feel the peace and happiness in the Goddess Grove." I just couldn't reach it for myself, I added silently.
Stevie Rae's hand went up. "Yes, Stevie Rae." Thanatos called on her.
"Is it okay if we ask questions?"
"Zoey?" Thanatos's wise gaze turned to me.
"Yeah, sure, I guess."
"Then go ahead and ask your question, Red High Priestess." Thanatos's gaze took in the entire class. "But let us remember the rules of civility that are always in effect in my classroom."
There was a pause and then Stevie Rae asked me, "Uh, so, the Otherworld, it's a big grove?" I was surprised by her question and her obvious curiosity-then I realized she'd never asked me much of anything about the Otherworld. Really, outside of Sgiach, and mentioning it when I'd led the ritual for Jack, I really hadn't talked about it hardly at all.
"Well, yeah, but I know there are a bunch of different parts of the Otherworld. Like when I first found Heath he was fishing off a dock that was on a really pretty lake." Even though missing him made me sad, the memory made me smile. "Heath loved to fish. I mean, seriously loved it. So, that's where I first found him, but when we needed to be safe we went to the Goddess Grove. That was in a different part of the Otherworld." Damien's hand went up and Thanatos called on him.
"I know you didn't see Jack up there, but are you saying that you believe there are places in the Otherworld that are specific to each of us?" I thought about it for a second, and then nodded. "Yeah, I think that's a good way of describing it. Jack is probably in the arts and crafts section." Damien smiled through his tears. "He wanted to be a fashion designer. He's in the Project Runway section."
"Oooh! Nice section," I heard from somewhere behind me and a few kids laughed softly.
Hesitantly, Aurox's hand went up. After Thanatos called his name, he turned so that he could meet my gaze. "You said there are different parts of the Otherworld. Do you think there is a part that is a place of punishment?"
His strange, moon-colored eyes were filled with an unspoken anguish, and I knew his question came from a place that was deeper than curiosity and that my answer would mean more than just providing random school information. Please, Nyx give me the words; let my answer be true.
I drew a long breath and found spirit within me. I held to the element that was closest to my heart and trusted that through it my Goddess would guide my words. As I started speaking I noticed how quiet it had gotten in the room and I could practically feel the back-row kids holding their breaths.
"I saw things in the Otherworld that were scary and not nice, but they were outside forces and not from the Goddess. Did I see a place of punishment? No, but what I did see was Heath moving on to another realm of the Otherworld. He believed he was going to be reborn from that part of the realm. While he was leaving he told me that, even though he was moving on, our love stayed with him." I paused and had to blink hard and wipe at one tear that had somehow escaped. "What my gut tells me is that Nyx isn't a Goddess of punishment, but it wouldn't surprise me if really hateful people are reborn in a way that either makes up for the awfulness of their past lives, or teaches them something they didn't learn before."
"You mean like someone who was a wife beater gets reborn as a woman?" Shaunee said.
"How about as a woman in a burka in Afghanistan?" Aphrodite added with a sarcastic lift of an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that is kinda what I mean," I said. "But I think the what and where and who would be up to the Goddess."
"Do you think it's ever up to the person?" Aurox asked me.
"I hope so," I said earnestly, thinking of Heath and my mom.
"So, knowing beyond any doubt that there is an Otherworld and that our loved ones can find their way to it, even if they aren't vampyres, or even fledglings, is some comfort to us as we outlive the mortals in our lives. That does not mean losing a parent is ever easy. Zoey, I know this is painful, but could you share with us what it is that is most difficult for you about your mother's death?" I nodded and opened my mouth to say something about the fact that now she can't ever make up for the way she un-mom-ed me over the past three years, but the words wouldn't come.
"Take your time," Thanatos said.
Stevie Rae reached over and took my hand. Squeezing it, she whispered, "It's okay, just pretend like there's no one here except us. You can tell me."
I looked at my BFF and blurted, "It's so awful that I don't know what really happened to her."
"Why do you think that is what saddens you the most?"
From the stage Thanatos asked the question, but I kept looking at Stevie Rae. She smiled and said, "How come it would be better if you knew what happened to your momma?"
"Because someone needs to pay for what was done to her," I told my BFF.
"Vengeance?" Thanatos asked.
Then I did look at her. "No. Justice," I said firmly.
"It is admirable as well as understandable for you to desire justice. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you-there is a distinct difference between wanting to gain revenge and exact vengeance, and wanting the truth to shine forth so that justice for all is ill uminated." Thanatos met my gaze. "I believe I can help give you the truth, so that you will be able to get justice for your mother and closure for yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"I spoke with your grandmother. Today is the fifth night after your mother's death. I explained to her that five is an important number in our belief system-it represents the elements and our closeness to them. She has agreed to pause her traditional cleansing on this, the fifth night. It is not a certainty, but with the elemental power held by your circle and your connection to the one whose death we seek to reveal, I believe I can ill uminate the truth of your mother's murder if you are willing to cast your circle and witness what it reveals."
"I'm willing." I felt sick, but I knew I had to go through with this.
"There is more," Thanatos said. She looked from me to Stevie Rae. "Zoey will cast the circle. I will be there to invoke the presence of death, but the spell that invokes death hinges upon you."
"Me?" Stevie Rae squeaked.
"It is your element in which this deed was imprinted. It is through your element the truth of it will be revealed." Thanatos's gaze sought out each member of my circle as she continued explaining. "This spell will not be pleasant. Zoey's mother was murdered. If we are successful, we will witness that horrendous act. You must each be willing participants, focused and aware of what it is you are agreeing to."
"I'm willing," Stevie Rae said immediately.
"Me, too ... Yep, I'm in ... I'm willing," came from Shaunee and Damien and Erin.
"Then it is decided. We leave as soon as first hour is over. If I call your name you will assemble in the parking lot and prepare yourself for the ritual and spell. If I do not call your name please proceed to your second-hour class. Your homework will be an essay on loss-and that homework will be due from those participating in the ritual as well as those of you who do not. The students joining me are: Zoey, Stevie Rae, Damien, Shaunee, Erin, and Aphrodite. The rest of you may begin working on your essays. Good day to you, and blessed be." Thanatos bowed formally to her classroom and then went to sit behind her desk.
My mouth flopped open. As Grandma would have said, this whole thing flummoxed me.
Aphrodite plopped down in the desk beside me and hissed a whisper. "Talk to Thanatos. Be sure she doesn't let Dragon go with us." She paused, tilted her head, and gawked at Stevie Rae and Rephaim, who totally had their heads together and were talking like a mile a minute.
"Unless I'm wrong-and I'm never wrong-she's gonna insist birdboy goes with us, which is no surprise because I can promise you Darius won't let me go without him. But having Rephaim with us means Dragon can't go or, according to my vision, he's gonna get sliced in two."
"Hell!" I said.
"Cursing?" Aphrodite said.
"No. It's a place. I didn't send anyone there," I said.
"Grow up," she said.
"Screw you," I said, succinctly.
Aphrodite laughed, which totally took the Big Girl sting from my almost-curse. I sighed and as the bell chimed, got out of my desk and walked slowly but resolutely up to Thanatos.
From her seat behind her desk Thanatos glanced up, but her eyes didn't go to me. Instead she glanced around me and called, "Aurox, a moment please."
Aurox had been leaving class, but he stopped and turned. "You want me, Priestess?"
"I want to give you an answer to your question."
"Uh, I'll wait outside so you two can-"
"There is no need for you to leave." Thanatos cut me off. "My answer is the same for whomever is asking the question."
"I do not understand," Aurox said.
Actually, neither did I. His question was "What am I?" How could there be only one answer for that question?
"I believe you will understand when you hear me out. The question of what we are can only be answered by ourselves. We each decide what we are by the life choices we make. How we were made, who are parents are, where we are from, the color of our skin, who we choose to love, all those things do not define us. Our actions define us, and will keep defining us until even after death." I saw surprise in Aurox's expression. "The past does not matter?"
"The past matters a great deal, especially if we don't learn from it. But the future need not be dictated by the past."
"I decide what I am?" He spoke slowly, as if he was working through a riddle.
"Yes."
"Thank you, Priestess."
"You are welcome and you may be excused now."
He fisted his hand over his heart and bowed deeply to her before leaving the room.
I was looking after him, still thinking about the surprise I'd seen in Aurox when Thanatos spoke to me. "Zoey, I know this ritual and the spell casting will be difficult for you, but I believe it will also give you closure."
"Yeah, me, too." Feeling a little like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, I spoke quickly, my eyes turning to Thanatos. "I mean, I don't want to do it. I don't want to see what happened to Mom, but I figure I keep replaying it in my imagination anyway. The truth will at least stop my imagination."
"It will do that," she said.
"So, this ritual-who all will be there?"
"Those I named already. I would imagine your Guardian will accompany you, as will Aphrodite's Darius. And I will be there. follow your instincts, Zoey. Is there anyone else you request?"
Aurox's presence seemed to linger in the room with us and I shook my head. "No, I don't want to request anyone else. My circle and our Warriors are all that I need, but there is someone I don't want there." She raised her eyebrows and I continued. "Dragon Lankford. He hates Rephaim, and he's pretty much acting as Stevie Rae's Warrior, so he should be with her." I made a quick decision, Thanatos should know, and added, "Plus, yesterday Aphrodite had a vision that showed Dragon totally involved with Rephaim being skewered by a sword. I'd rather that didn't happen during my mom's reveal ritual."
"Dragon Lankford has been tasked with protecting this school and its students. If he allows, or takes part in, Rephaim being injured a great injustice will have been committed and he must be brought to task quickly and-"
"Wait, stop." I interrupted her. "I don't want this spell to be some kind of setup for Dragon to get in trouble. I don't want any of that drama to touch what's happened to my mom. Her murder is drama enough. Can't you just help me be sure Dragon's not there? We'll deal with his issues later." Thanatos bowed her head slightly. "You have a valid point, and you are right to remind me. Your mother's death is not the appropriate venue to test Dragon or to ill uminate his failings. I shal see that he does not accompany us."
"Thanks," I said.
"Thank me when the ritual and spell casting is over. I've found quite often that the dead reveal things that should have been kept hidden from the living."
And on that ominous note I left death's classroom and made my way to the parking lot and to a future none of us would have been able to predict.
Neferet
When the bell chimed to end first hour Neferet moved nonchalantly to the doorway of her classroom. Under the guise of saying good-bye to what was left of the class after Thanatos had culled it for her own special first hour, Neferet positioned herself so that she could watch the High Council member's students as they departed.
Dallas, now would be a lovely time to orchestrate another altercation.
No sooner had the thought formed in her mind then the young red vampyre himself moved into her view. He wasn't posturing or provoking.
Neferet frowned. He and his ragged group of compatriots were slinking from Thanatos's first hour as if they were dogs with their tails tucked between their legs.
Then Zoey's group, minus Zoey, she noted, hurried from class all moving in the same direction. The same direction? Most of them had different second-hour classes. No matter how sheep-like they were, they should not all be traveling together.
Aurox emerged and Neferet smiled.
As if he could feel her gaze the vessel looked her way.
"Come to me," she mouthed the words and gestured to her office. Neferet didn't wait to see if the vessel complied. She knew he would do as commanded.
"Yes, Priestess," he said, standing before her desk. "You called?"
"Did anything unusual happen first hour?"
"Unusual, Priestess?"
Neferet barely contained her irritation. Must he be so stupid? "Yes, unusual! I noticed Dall as and his group seemed unusually reserved, and many of the other students, those closest to Zoey Redbird, left together as if they had somewhere to go that was not their second-hour class."
"Your observation is correct, Priestess. Thanatos intends to oversee Zoey and her circle performing a ritual so that she may then cast a spell invoking death. Her intent is for Zoey to witness the truth of her mother's death and thereby to attain closure."
"What?" Neferet felt as if her mind was going to explode.
"Yes, Priestess. Thanatos is using Zoey as an example of how all fledglings and vampyres can overcome the loss of a parent." Neferet lifted her hand, palm out, and the threads of Darkness swarmed to her. Aurox took a step back, obviously uncomfortable with her tumultuous emotions. She made a conscious effort to control herself and the sticky tendrils quieted.
"Where is this spell casting taking place?"
"At the site of Zoey's mother's murder."
Through clenched teeth Neferet managed to say, "When? When is this happening?"
"They are gathering to leave now, Priestess."
"And you are quite certain Thanatos is accompanying them?"
"Yes, Priestess."
"May all the immortals be damned!" Neferet almost spat the curse. "A reveal ritual. It must be accompanied by the casting of a very specific spell ..." She drummed her pointed fingernails on her desk, thinking. "It would have to be earth-based, as it is within that specific plot of earth that the death would have been Imprinted. It is Stevie Rae then, and not Zoey who must be impeded." She turned her attention back to Aurox. "This is my command: you will thwart this ritual and the casting of the death spell. Do whatever you must to stop it, even if you must kill, although I do not want the death to be one of the Priestesses." She grimaced in annoyance. "Unfortunately, the price of a Priestess's death is too costly, especially as I don't have an equitable sacrifice to offer," she muttered, almost to herself. Then she caught the vessel's moonstone gaze with her own. "Do not kill a Priestess. I'd prefer no one realize you were there, but if you cannot stop the spell without giving yourself away, then do what you must. Your command is that the ritual and its spell work go awry, so that Thanatos cannot reveal the manner of Zoey's mother's death. Do you understand me?"
"I do, Priestess."
"Then get out of here and do as I command. If you are discovered do not expect me to rescue you. Expect me to forget we ever had this conversation."
When he simply stood there staring at her, she said, "What is it? Why are you not already obeying my orders?"
"I do not know where to go, Priestess. How do I reach the location of the ritual?" Neferet squelched the urge to smite him to his knees with Darkness. Instead she scribbled an address on a notepad, tore it off, and handed it to him. "Use the GPS as I've showed you before. This is the address. It couldn't be easier if I conjured you there." He bowed, clutching the paper. "As you command, Priestess," he said, leaving the room.
"And be careful they do not see you arriving!"
"Yes, Priestess," he said before closing the door behind him.
Neferet watched him go. "I wish he was smarter," she whispered to the dark tendrils that crawled up her arms and caressed her wrists. "Oh, but you are, aren't you? Go with him. Strengthen him. Watch him. Be quite sure he does not falter in obeying my simple commands. Then return and tell me everything." The tendrils hesitated. Neferet sighed and, with a quick flick of her forefinger, she sliced the inside of her bicep and ground her teeth as Darkness fed from her. Shortly, she waved them away and licked the shallow wound closed. "Go now. You've taken your payment. Do my bidding,"
The shadows slithered from her and Neferet, content, called for her assistant to bring her a glass of wine laced with blood.
"Find some virgin's blood this time," she snapped when the young vampyre answered her summons. "The other is simply too common, and I have a feeling a celebration will soon be in order."
"Yes, Priestess, as you command." The assistant bowed and scurried out.
"That is right." Neferet spoke aloud to the listening shadows. "All will be as I command. And someday soon they will not call me Priestess, but Goddess. Someday very soon..."
Neferet laughed.
Zoey
So, I was nervous about first hour and what Thanatos was gonna say about losing a parent-specifically my mom-but the day was starting out really well. For the first time in a really long time Stark was awake before me, and so I got woken up with kisses and him calling me Sleeping Beauty. He wolfed down the most ginormic bowl full of Cap'n Crunch I'd ever seen, and in the parking lot outside the depot he was messing around with Darius, doing a little mock boxing match while kids were filling up the short bus.
I was already on the bus watching him out the window with what I'm sure was a goofy happy smile on my face when Aphrodite emerged from the depot. I was surprised to see her 'cause I figured she'd be so hungover and exhausted that she would definitely not be going to school today. She squinted and then put on sunglasses, even though it was 7:30 P.M. and there was no sun at all.
"She don't look good," Kramisha said from her seat behind me.
"How can you tell from this far away?"
"She got flats on and her hair's in a ponytail. That girl never wears flats and her hair usually looks like Barbie," Kramisha said. "I mean regular Barbie and not none of those weird dolls like Tennis Barbie or Go to the Gym Barbie."
"Everyone knows Barbie doesn't have to work out to keep her kick-ass body," Shaunee said.
"Bull truth," Stevie Rae said.
"Huh?" I said, totally befuddled.
"Just trust us. Aphrodite don't look good," Kramisha repeated.
"She doesn't even have any lip gloss on. Bad sign," Erin said.
"If she doesn't have on any eye makeup, Hell has officially frozen over," Shaunee said, which was interesting because that's as close as she'd gotten to a Twin comment in days.
I glanced at Shaunee, who was sitting in the front seat of the bus, as far away from Erin's place in the back as she could get. Shaunee was digging in her purse like she'd misplaced a tube of one of MAC's seasonal lipsticks that you buy and fall in love with AND THEN THEY
DISCONTINUE IT BECAUSE THEY REALLY HATE US AND WANT US TO BE CRAZY.
Anyway, I was sure Shaunee's cheeks looked pink. So, was she embarrassed about the kinda accidental Twin comment she had made, or excited about it? I didn't have much time to consider which it could be because Aphrodite climbed into the bus and sat heavily in the first seat behind the driver's chair, which was directly in front of me.
"Coffee," she croaked. "I told Darius we have to swing the short bus through Starbucks at Utica on the way. I'm going to die if I don't get an uber-sweet caramel double espresso coffee drink and a giant slab of their blueberry coffee cake."
"Them's a lot of calories," Kramisha told her.
"If you try to stop me I will kill you dead," Aphrodite said.
"I think your hair looks good like that," Shaunee told her.
"For shit's sake, I don't need the pity of half a brain-sharer. I do not feel that damn bad." Shaunee skewered her with a look. "I'm not half of anything and I'm not giving you any pity. I was just sayin' I like your hair 'cause you usually don't wear it like that, but if you're too much of a bitch to accept a compliment then you can fuck yourself." The entire bus inhaled a giant breath. The silence was total and frightening. I wasn't sure whether I should summon elements or run. Then Aphrodite pulled her sunglasses down her nose and looked over their rims at Shaunee. Her eyes were pink-tinged and bruised and just all-around horrendously unattractive, but they were shining with humor. "I think I like you using a brain of your own."
"Yeah, well, I haven't decided if I like you at all, but your hair still looks good."
"Huh," Aphrodite said.
"Huh," Shaunee said.
We all breathed a long sigh of relief.
And that's pretty much how the day proceeded. Stark was back to his old, charming, sexy, totally fabulous self. When I asked what the heck had gotten into him he said, "Z, I slept like a log and I feel like Superman today!" Seriously. Superman. And, apparently, he meant it 'cause he was zooming around everywhere, laughing and being a total guy.
He was the cutest thing I'd seen since that Trololo Cat YouTube video.
So, before school was cool. The ride to school was even okay. Well, Aphrodite was grumpy, but that was pretty much normal. Plus, she was actually talking to Shaunee, which was nice 'cause it was obvious Shaunee wasn't sure who she was now that she wasn't one half of the Twin team.
And we did stop at Starbucks on the way. I know fledglings aren't supposed to feel caffeine highs anymore, but it definitely seemed like we were all buzzing by the time we pulled into the House of Night.
Of course once we got to school everything else was, as Stevie Rae would've said, as under control as herding cats.
It all started with first hour. Okay, I hadn't actually forgotten Thanatos was going to use me as an example for her how-do-we-deal-with-losing-parents class project or whatever. I'd just kinda misplaced the memory of it, which probably had to do with Stark being so dang adorable and me being so dang happy he was acting like himself again.
And maybe I hadn't wanted to remember. Maybe I'd just wanted to not be momless and heartbroken for a little while.
Anyway, my selective amnesia didn't last more than just about two-point-five seconds after I stepped into first hour and followed Stevie Rae and Rephaim up front. Aurox was there, just where he'd been yesterday. He met my gaze for an instant before he looked away. Then I remembered what was up-that class wasn't just going to be me being entertained or me daydreaming. Class was gonna be, well, me. That totally made my stomach clench and suddenly I was nervous and anxious and wishing I'd gotten permission to go to the bathroom or the nurse or anywhere except class.
It was only later that I realized my seer stone, for the first time, hadn't heated up at the sight of him because, of course, Thanatos started to talk, which totally distracted me by putting the cherry on top of my anxiety sundae.
"I read your questions and found a common theme in many of them," she said. "Quite a few of you expressed a desire to discuss how to deal with the loss of your parents. The truth is if you complete the Change and become vampyres, you will inevitably lose not just your parents, but all of your mortal contemporaries because, as you already know, although vampyres are not immortal we are definitely longer lived than humans. So, to help us delve into this subject I have solicited the aid of the only one of your peers who has lost a parent, as well as a mate, to death-Zoey Redbird." I wanted to die.
Everyone was quiet and paying attention, even the jerky red fledgling back row that surrounded Dall as.
"First, let me begin with a word of encouragement," Thanatos said. "As you know, my affinity is death. I often guide spirits in their crossing from this world to the Otherworld, so I can tell each of you with certainty that there is an Otherworld waiting for us. I have not traveled there, but Zoey has." She smiled encouragement to me. "I believe you have seen both your mate and your mother joyously welcomed into Nyx's realm."
"Yes." I realized my voice was way too soft, so I cleared my throat and tried again, louder. "Yes, I saw my mom welcomed by Nyx, and I actually spent time there with Heath."
"And is it a beautiful place?"
I felt a little of the sickness leave my stomach as I remembered the good part. "Yeah, it's awesome. Even when my soul was shattered and I was super messed up, I could feel the peace and happiness in the Goddess Grove." I just couldn't reach it for myself, I added silently.
Stevie Rae's hand went up. "Yes, Stevie Rae." Thanatos called on her.
"Is it okay if we ask questions?"
"Zoey?" Thanatos's wise gaze turned to me.
"Yeah, sure, I guess."
"Then go ahead and ask your question, Red High Priestess." Thanatos's gaze took in the entire class. "But let us remember the rules of civility that are always in effect in my classroom."
There was a pause and then Stevie Rae asked me, "Uh, so, the Otherworld, it's a big grove?" I was surprised by her question and her obvious curiosity-then I realized she'd never asked me much of anything about the Otherworld. Really, outside of Sgiach, and mentioning it when I'd led the ritual for Jack, I really hadn't talked about it hardly at all.
"Well, yeah, but I know there are a bunch of different parts of the Otherworld. Like when I first found Heath he was fishing off a dock that was on a really pretty lake." Even though missing him made me sad, the memory made me smile. "Heath loved to fish. I mean, seriously loved it. So, that's where I first found him, but when we needed to be safe we went to the Goddess Grove. That was in a different part of the Otherworld." Damien's hand went up and Thanatos called on him.
"I know you didn't see Jack up there, but are you saying that you believe there are places in the Otherworld that are specific to each of us?" I thought about it for a second, and then nodded. "Yeah, I think that's a good way of describing it. Jack is probably in the arts and crafts section." Damien smiled through his tears. "He wanted to be a fashion designer. He's in the Project Runway section."
"Oooh! Nice section," I heard from somewhere behind me and a few kids laughed softly.
Hesitantly, Aurox's hand went up. After Thanatos called his name, he turned so that he could meet my gaze. "You said there are different parts of the Otherworld. Do you think there is a part that is a place of punishment?"
His strange, moon-colored eyes were filled with an unspoken anguish, and I knew his question came from a place that was deeper than curiosity and that my answer would mean more than just providing random school information. Please, Nyx give me the words; let my answer be true.
I drew a long breath and found spirit within me. I held to the element that was closest to my heart and trusted that through it my Goddess would guide my words. As I started speaking I noticed how quiet it had gotten in the room and I could practically feel the back-row kids holding their breaths.
"I saw things in the Otherworld that were scary and not nice, but they were outside forces and not from the Goddess. Did I see a place of punishment? No, but what I did see was Heath moving on to another realm of the Otherworld. He believed he was going to be reborn from that part of the realm. While he was leaving he told me that, even though he was moving on, our love stayed with him." I paused and had to blink hard and wipe at one tear that had somehow escaped. "What my gut tells me is that Nyx isn't a Goddess of punishment, but it wouldn't surprise me if really hateful people are reborn in a way that either makes up for the awfulness of their past lives, or teaches them something they didn't learn before."
"You mean like someone who was a wife beater gets reborn as a woman?" Shaunee said.
"How about as a woman in a burka in Afghanistan?" Aphrodite added with a sarcastic lift of an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that is kinda what I mean," I said. "But I think the what and where and who would be up to the Goddess."
"Do you think it's ever up to the person?" Aurox asked me.
"I hope so," I said earnestly, thinking of Heath and my mom.
"So, knowing beyond any doubt that there is an Otherworld and that our loved ones can find their way to it, even if they aren't vampyres, or even fledglings, is some comfort to us as we outlive the mortals in our lives. That does not mean losing a parent is ever easy. Zoey, I know this is painful, but could you share with us what it is that is most difficult for you about your mother's death?" I nodded and opened my mouth to say something about the fact that now she can't ever make up for the way she un-mom-ed me over the past three years, but the words wouldn't come.
"Take your time," Thanatos said.
Stevie Rae reached over and took my hand. Squeezing it, she whispered, "It's okay, just pretend like there's no one here except us. You can tell me."
I looked at my BFF and blurted, "It's so awful that I don't know what really happened to her."
"Why do you think that is what saddens you the most?"
From the stage Thanatos asked the question, but I kept looking at Stevie Rae. She smiled and said, "How come it would be better if you knew what happened to your momma?"
"Because someone needs to pay for what was done to her," I told my BFF.
"Vengeance?" Thanatos asked.
Then I did look at her. "No. Justice," I said firmly.
"It is admirable as well as understandable for you to desire justice. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you-there is a distinct difference between wanting to gain revenge and exact vengeance, and wanting the truth to shine forth so that justice for all is ill uminated." Thanatos met my gaze. "I believe I can help give you the truth, so that you will be able to get justice for your mother and closure for yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"I spoke with your grandmother. Today is the fifth night after your mother's death. I explained to her that five is an important number in our belief system-it represents the elements and our closeness to them. She has agreed to pause her traditional cleansing on this, the fifth night. It is not a certainty, but with the elemental power held by your circle and your connection to the one whose death we seek to reveal, I believe I can ill uminate the truth of your mother's murder if you are willing to cast your circle and witness what it reveals."
"I'm willing." I felt sick, but I knew I had to go through with this.
"There is more," Thanatos said. She looked from me to Stevie Rae. "Zoey will cast the circle. I will be there to invoke the presence of death, but the spell that invokes death hinges upon you."
"Me?" Stevie Rae squeaked.
"It is your element in which this deed was imprinted. It is through your element the truth of it will be revealed." Thanatos's gaze sought out each member of my circle as she continued explaining. "This spell will not be pleasant. Zoey's mother was murdered. If we are successful, we will witness that horrendous act. You must each be willing participants, focused and aware of what it is you are agreeing to."
"I'm willing," Stevie Rae said immediately.
"Me, too ... Yep, I'm in ... I'm willing," came from Shaunee and Damien and Erin.
"Then it is decided. We leave as soon as first hour is over. If I call your name you will assemble in the parking lot and prepare yourself for the ritual and spell. If I do not call your name please proceed to your second-hour class. Your homework will be an essay on loss-and that homework will be due from those participating in the ritual as well as those of you who do not. The students joining me are: Zoey, Stevie Rae, Damien, Shaunee, Erin, and Aphrodite. The rest of you may begin working on your essays. Good day to you, and blessed be." Thanatos bowed formally to her classroom and then went to sit behind her desk.
My mouth flopped open. As Grandma would have said, this whole thing flummoxed me.
Aphrodite plopped down in the desk beside me and hissed a whisper. "Talk to Thanatos. Be sure she doesn't let Dragon go with us." She paused, tilted her head, and gawked at Stevie Rae and Rephaim, who totally had their heads together and were talking like a mile a minute.
"Unless I'm wrong-and I'm never wrong-she's gonna insist birdboy goes with us, which is no surprise because I can promise you Darius won't let me go without him. But having Rephaim with us means Dragon can't go or, according to my vision, he's gonna get sliced in two."
"Hell!" I said.
"Cursing?" Aphrodite said.
"No. It's a place. I didn't send anyone there," I said.
"Grow up," she said.
"Screw you," I said, succinctly.
Aphrodite laughed, which totally took the Big Girl sting from my almost-curse. I sighed and as the bell chimed, got out of my desk and walked slowly but resolutely up to Thanatos.
From her seat behind her desk Thanatos glanced up, but her eyes didn't go to me. Instead she glanced around me and called, "Aurox, a moment please."
Aurox had been leaving class, but he stopped and turned. "You want me, Priestess?"
"I want to give you an answer to your question."
"Uh, I'll wait outside so you two can-"
"There is no need for you to leave." Thanatos cut me off. "My answer is the same for whomever is asking the question."
"I do not understand," Aurox said.
Actually, neither did I. His question was "What am I?" How could there be only one answer for that question?
"I believe you will understand when you hear me out. The question of what we are can only be answered by ourselves. We each decide what we are by the life choices we make. How we were made, who are parents are, where we are from, the color of our skin, who we choose to love, all those things do not define us. Our actions define us, and will keep defining us until even after death." I saw surprise in Aurox's expression. "The past does not matter?"
"The past matters a great deal, especially if we don't learn from it. But the future need not be dictated by the past."
"I decide what I am?" He spoke slowly, as if he was working through a riddle.
"Yes."
"Thank you, Priestess."
"You are welcome and you may be excused now."
He fisted his hand over his heart and bowed deeply to her before leaving the room.
I was looking after him, still thinking about the surprise I'd seen in Aurox when Thanatos spoke to me. "Zoey, I know this ritual and the spell casting will be difficult for you, but I believe it will also give you closure."
"Yeah, me, too." Feeling a little like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, I spoke quickly, my eyes turning to Thanatos. "I mean, I don't want to do it. I don't want to see what happened to Mom, but I figure I keep replaying it in my imagination anyway. The truth will at least stop my imagination."
"It will do that," she said.
"So, this ritual-who all will be there?"
"Those I named already. I would imagine your Guardian will accompany you, as will Aphrodite's Darius. And I will be there. follow your instincts, Zoey. Is there anyone else you request?"
Aurox's presence seemed to linger in the room with us and I shook my head. "No, I don't want to request anyone else. My circle and our Warriors are all that I need, but there is someone I don't want there." She raised her eyebrows and I continued. "Dragon Lankford. He hates Rephaim, and he's pretty much acting as Stevie Rae's Warrior, so he should be with her." I made a quick decision, Thanatos should know, and added, "Plus, yesterday Aphrodite had a vision that showed Dragon totally involved with Rephaim being skewered by a sword. I'd rather that didn't happen during my mom's reveal ritual."
"Dragon Lankford has been tasked with protecting this school and its students. If he allows, or takes part in, Rephaim being injured a great injustice will have been committed and he must be brought to task quickly and-"
"Wait, stop." I interrupted her. "I don't want this spell to be some kind of setup for Dragon to get in trouble. I don't want any of that drama to touch what's happened to my mom. Her murder is drama enough. Can't you just help me be sure Dragon's not there? We'll deal with his issues later." Thanatos bowed her head slightly. "You have a valid point, and you are right to remind me. Your mother's death is not the appropriate venue to test Dragon or to ill uminate his failings. I shal see that he does not accompany us."
"Thanks," I said.
"Thank me when the ritual and spell casting is over. I've found quite often that the dead reveal things that should have been kept hidden from the living."
And on that ominous note I left death's classroom and made my way to the parking lot and to a future none of us would have been able to predict.
Neferet
When the bell chimed to end first hour Neferet moved nonchalantly to the doorway of her classroom. Under the guise of saying good-bye to what was left of the class after Thanatos had culled it for her own special first hour, Neferet positioned herself so that she could watch the High Council member's students as they departed.
Dallas, now would be a lovely time to orchestrate another altercation.
No sooner had the thought formed in her mind then the young red vampyre himself moved into her view. He wasn't posturing or provoking.
Neferet frowned. He and his ragged group of compatriots were slinking from Thanatos's first hour as if they were dogs with their tails tucked between their legs.
Then Zoey's group, minus Zoey, she noted, hurried from class all moving in the same direction. The same direction? Most of them had different second-hour classes. No matter how sheep-like they were, they should not all be traveling together.
Aurox emerged and Neferet smiled.
As if he could feel her gaze the vessel looked her way.
"Come to me," she mouthed the words and gestured to her office. Neferet didn't wait to see if the vessel complied. She knew he would do as commanded.
"Yes, Priestess," he said, standing before her desk. "You called?"
"Did anything unusual happen first hour?"
"Unusual, Priestess?"
Neferet barely contained her irritation. Must he be so stupid? "Yes, unusual! I noticed Dall as and his group seemed unusually reserved, and many of the other students, those closest to Zoey Redbird, left together as if they had somewhere to go that was not their second-hour class."
"Your observation is correct, Priestess. Thanatos intends to oversee Zoey and her circle performing a ritual so that she may then cast a spell invoking death. Her intent is for Zoey to witness the truth of her mother's death and thereby to attain closure."
"What?" Neferet felt as if her mind was going to explode.
"Yes, Priestess. Thanatos is using Zoey as an example of how all fledglings and vampyres can overcome the loss of a parent." Neferet lifted her hand, palm out, and the threads of Darkness swarmed to her. Aurox took a step back, obviously uncomfortable with her tumultuous emotions. She made a conscious effort to control herself and the sticky tendrils quieted.
"Where is this spell casting taking place?"
"At the site of Zoey's mother's murder."
Through clenched teeth Neferet managed to say, "When? When is this happening?"
"They are gathering to leave now, Priestess."
"And you are quite certain Thanatos is accompanying them?"
"Yes, Priestess."
"May all the immortals be damned!" Neferet almost spat the curse. "A reveal ritual. It must be accompanied by the casting of a very specific spell ..." She drummed her pointed fingernails on her desk, thinking. "It would have to be earth-based, as it is within that specific plot of earth that the death would have been Imprinted. It is Stevie Rae then, and not Zoey who must be impeded." She turned her attention back to Aurox. "This is my command: you will thwart this ritual and the casting of the death spell. Do whatever you must to stop it, even if you must kill, although I do not want the death to be one of the Priestesses." She grimaced in annoyance. "Unfortunately, the price of a Priestess's death is too costly, especially as I don't have an equitable sacrifice to offer," she muttered, almost to herself. Then she caught the vessel's moonstone gaze with her own. "Do not kill a Priestess. I'd prefer no one realize you were there, but if you cannot stop the spell without giving yourself away, then do what you must. Your command is that the ritual and its spell work go awry, so that Thanatos cannot reveal the manner of Zoey's mother's death. Do you understand me?"
"I do, Priestess."
"Then get out of here and do as I command. If you are discovered do not expect me to rescue you. Expect me to forget we ever had this conversation."
When he simply stood there staring at her, she said, "What is it? Why are you not already obeying my orders?"
"I do not know where to go, Priestess. How do I reach the location of the ritual?" Neferet squelched the urge to smite him to his knees with Darkness. Instead she scribbled an address on a notepad, tore it off, and handed it to him. "Use the GPS as I've showed you before. This is the address. It couldn't be easier if I conjured you there." He bowed, clutching the paper. "As you command, Priestess," he said, leaving the room.
"And be careful they do not see you arriving!"
"Yes, Priestess," he said before closing the door behind him.
Neferet watched him go. "I wish he was smarter," she whispered to the dark tendrils that crawled up her arms and caressed her wrists. "Oh, but you are, aren't you? Go with him. Strengthen him. Watch him. Be quite sure he does not falter in obeying my simple commands. Then return and tell me everything." The tendrils hesitated. Neferet sighed and, with a quick flick of her forefinger, she sliced the inside of her bicep and ground her teeth as Darkness fed from her. Shortly, she waved them away and licked the shallow wound closed. "Go now. You've taken your payment. Do my bidding,"
The shadows slithered from her and Neferet, content, called for her assistant to bring her a glass of wine laced with blood.
"Find some virgin's blood this time," she snapped when the young vampyre answered her summons. "The other is simply too common, and I have a feeling a celebration will soon be in order."
"Yes, Priestess, as you command." The assistant bowed and scurried out.
"That is right." Neferet spoke aloud to the listening shadows. "All will be as I command. And someday soon they will not call me Priestess, but Goddess. Someday very soon..."
Neferet laughed.
Zoey
So, I was nervous about first hour and what Thanatos was gonna say about losing a parent-specifically my mom-but the day was starting out really well. For the first time in a really long time Stark was awake before me, and so I got woken up with kisses and him calling me Sleeping Beauty. He wolfed down the most ginormic bowl full of Cap'n Crunch I'd ever seen, and in the parking lot outside the depot he was messing around with Darius, doing a little mock boxing match while kids were filling up the short bus.
I was already on the bus watching him out the window with what I'm sure was a goofy happy smile on my face when Aphrodite emerged from the depot. I was surprised to see her 'cause I figured she'd be so hungover and exhausted that she would definitely not be going to school today. She squinted and then put on sunglasses, even though it was 7:30 P.M. and there was no sun at all.
"She don't look good," Kramisha said from her seat behind me.
"How can you tell from this far away?"
"She got flats on and her hair's in a ponytail. That girl never wears flats and her hair usually looks like Barbie," Kramisha said. "I mean regular Barbie and not none of those weird dolls like Tennis Barbie or Go to the Gym Barbie."
"Everyone knows Barbie doesn't have to work out to keep her kick-ass body," Shaunee said.
"Bull truth," Stevie Rae said.
"Huh?" I said, totally befuddled.
"Just trust us. Aphrodite don't look good," Kramisha repeated.
"She doesn't even have any lip gloss on. Bad sign," Erin said.
"If she doesn't have on any eye makeup, Hell has officially frozen over," Shaunee said, which was interesting because that's as close as she'd gotten to a Twin comment in days.
I glanced at Shaunee, who was sitting in the front seat of the bus, as far away from Erin's place in the back as she could get. Shaunee was digging in her purse like she'd misplaced a tube of one of MAC's seasonal lipsticks that you buy and fall in love with AND THEN THEY
DISCONTINUE IT BECAUSE THEY REALLY HATE US AND WANT US TO BE CRAZY.
Anyway, I was sure Shaunee's cheeks looked pink. So, was she embarrassed about the kinda accidental Twin comment she had made, or excited about it? I didn't have much time to consider which it could be because Aphrodite climbed into the bus and sat heavily in the first seat behind the driver's chair, which was directly in front of me.
"Coffee," she croaked. "I told Darius we have to swing the short bus through Starbucks at Utica on the way. I'm going to die if I don't get an uber-sweet caramel double espresso coffee drink and a giant slab of their blueberry coffee cake."
"Them's a lot of calories," Kramisha told her.
"If you try to stop me I will kill you dead," Aphrodite said.
"I think your hair looks good like that," Shaunee told her.
"For shit's sake, I don't need the pity of half a brain-sharer. I do not feel that damn bad." Shaunee skewered her with a look. "I'm not half of anything and I'm not giving you any pity. I was just sayin' I like your hair 'cause you usually don't wear it like that, but if you're too much of a bitch to accept a compliment then you can fuck yourself." The entire bus inhaled a giant breath. The silence was total and frightening. I wasn't sure whether I should summon elements or run. Then Aphrodite pulled her sunglasses down her nose and looked over their rims at Shaunee. Her eyes were pink-tinged and bruised and just all-around horrendously unattractive, but they were shining with humor. "I think I like you using a brain of your own."
"Yeah, well, I haven't decided if I like you at all, but your hair still looks good."
"Huh," Aphrodite said.
"Huh," Shaunee said.
We all breathed a long sigh of relief.
And that's pretty much how the day proceeded. Stark was back to his old, charming, sexy, totally fabulous self. When I asked what the heck had gotten into him he said, "Z, I slept like a log and I feel like Superman today!" Seriously. Superman. And, apparently, he meant it 'cause he was zooming around everywhere, laughing and being a total guy.
He was the cutest thing I'd seen since that Trololo Cat YouTube video.
So, before school was cool. The ride to school was even okay. Well, Aphrodite was grumpy, but that was pretty much normal. Plus, she was actually talking to Shaunee, which was nice 'cause it was obvious Shaunee wasn't sure who she was now that she wasn't one half of the Twin team.
And we did stop at Starbucks on the way. I know fledglings aren't supposed to feel caffeine highs anymore, but it definitely seemed like we were all buzzing by the time we pulled into the House of Night.
Of course once we got to school everything else was, as Stevie Rae would've said, as under control as herding cats.
It all started with first hour. Okay, I hadn't actually forgotten Thanatos was going to use me as an example for her how-do-we-deal-with-losing-parents class project or whatever. I'd just kinda misplaced the memory of it, which probably had to do with Stark being so dang adorable and me being so dang happy he was acting like himself again.
And maybe I hadn't wanted to remember. Maybe I'd just wanted to not be momless and heartbroken for a little while.
Anyway, my selective amnesia didn't last more than just about two-point-five seconds after I stepped into first hour and followed Stevie Rae and Rephaim up front. Aurox was there, just where he'd been yesterday. He met my gaze for an instant before he looked away. Then I remembered what was up-that class wasn't just going to be me being entertained or me daydreaming. Class was gonna be, well, me. That totally made my stomach clench and suddenly I was nervous and anxious and wishing I'd gotten permission to go to the bathroom or the nurse or anywhere except class.
It was only later that I realized my seer stone, for the first time, hadn't heated up at the sight of him because, of course, Thanatos started to talk, which totally distracted me by putting the cherry on top of my anxiety sundae.
"I read your questions and found a common theme in many of them," she said. "Quite a few of you expressed a desire to discuss how to deal with the loss of your parents. The truth is if you complete the Change and become vampyres, you will inevitably lose not just your parents, but all of your mortal contemporaries because, as you already know, although vampyres are not immortal we are definitely longer lived than humans. So, to help us delve into this subject I have solicited the aid of the only one of your peers who has lost a parent, as well as a mate, to death-Zoey Redbird." I wanted to die.
Everyone was quiet and paying attention, even the jerky red fledgling back row that surrounded Dall as.
"First, let me begin with a word of encouragement," Thanatos said. "As you know, my affinity is death. I often guide spirits in their crossing from this world to the Otherworld, so I can tell each of you with certainty that there is an Otherworld waiting for us. I have not traveled there, but Zoey has." She smiled encouragement to me. "I believe you have seen both your mate and your mother joyously welcomed into Nyx's realm."
"Yes." I realized my voice was way too soft, so I cleared my throat and tried again, louder. "Yes, I saw my mom welcomed by Nyx, and I actually spent time there with Heath."
"And is it a beautiful place?"
I felt a little of the sickness leave my stomach as I remembered the good part. "Yeah, it's awesome. Even when my soul was shattered and I was super messed up, I could feel the peace and happiness in the Goddess Grove." I just couldn't reach it for myself, I added silently.
Stevie Rae's hand went up. "Yes, Stevie Rae." Thanatos called on her.
"Is it okay if we ask questions?"
"Zoey?" Thanatos's wise gaze turned to me.
"Yeah, sure, I guess."
"Then go ahead and ask your question, Red High Priestess." Thanatos's gaze took in the entire class. "But let us remember the rules of civility that are always in effect in my classroom."
There was a pause and then Stevie Rae asked me, "Uh, so, the Otherworld, it's a big grove?" I was surprised by her question and her obvious curiosity-then I realized she'd never asked me much of anything about the Otherworld. Really, outside of Sgiach, and mentioning it when I'd led the ritual for Jack, I really hadn't talked about it hardly at all.
"Well, yeah, but I know there are a bunch of different parts of the Otherworld. Like when I first found Heath he was fishing off a dock that was on a really pretty lake." Even though missing him made me sad, the memory made me smile. "Heath loved to fish. I mean, seriously loved it. So, that's where I first found him, but when we needed to be safe we went to the Goddess Grove. That was in a different part of the Otherworld." Damien's hand went up and Thanatos called on him.
"I know you didn't see Jack up there, but are you saying that you believe there are places in the Otherworld that are specific to each of us?" I thought about it for a second, and then nodded. "Yeah, I think that's a good way of describing it. Jack is probably in the arts and crafts section." Damien smiled through his tears. "He wanted to be a fashion designer. He's in the Project Runway section."
"Oooh! Nice section," I heard from somewhere behind me and a few kids laughed softly.
Hesitantly, Aurox's hand went up. After Thanatos called his name, he turned so that he could meet my gaze. "You said there are different parts of the Otherworld. Do you think there is a part that is a place of punishment?"
His strange, moon-colored eyes were filled with an unspoken anguish, and I knew his question came from a place that was deeper than curiosity and that my answer would mean more than just providing random school information. Please, Nyx give me the words; let my answer be true.
I drew a long breath and found spirit within me. I held to the element that was closest to my heart and trusted that through it my Goddess would guide my words. As I started speaking I noticed how quiet it had gotten in the room and I could practically feel the back-row kids holding their breaths.
"I saw things in the Otherworld that were scary and not nice, but they were outside forces and not from the Goddess. Did I see a place of punishment? No, but what I did see was Heath moving on to another realm of the Otherworld. He believed he was going to be reborn from that part of the realm. While he was leaving he told me that, even though he was moving on, our love stayed with him." I paused and had to blink hard and wipe at one tear that had somehow escaped. "What my gut tells me is that Nyx isn't a Goddess of punishment, but it wouldn't surprise me if really hateful people are reborn in a way that either makes up for the awfulness of their past lives, or teaches them something they didn't learn before."
"You mean like someone who was a wife beater gets reborn as a woman?" Shaunee said.
"How about as a woman in a burka in Afghanistan?" Aphrodite added with a sarcastic lift of an eyebrow.
"Yeah, that is kinda what I mean," I said. "But I think the what and where and who would be up to the Goddess."
"Do you think it's ever up to the person?" Aurox asked me.
"I hope so," I said earnestly, thinking of Heath and my mom.
"So, knowing beyond any doubt that there is an Otherworld and that our loved ones can find their way to it, even if they aren't vampyres, or even fledglings, is some comfort to us as we outlive the mortals in our lives. That does not mean losing a parent is ever easy. Zoey, I know this is painful, but could you share with us what it is that is most difficult for you about your mother's death?" I nodded and opened my mouth to say something about the fact that now she can't ever make up for the way she un-mom-ed me over the past three years, but the words wouldn't come.
"Take your time," Thanatos said.
Stevie Rae reached over and took my hand. Squeezing it, she whispered, "It's okay, just pretend like there's no one here except us. You can tell me."
I looked at my BFF and blurted, "It's so awful that I don't know what really happened to her."
"Why do you think that is what saddens you the most?"
From the stage Thanatos asked the question, but I kept looking at Stevie Rae. She smiled and said, "How come it would be better if you knew what happened to your momma?"
"Because someone needs to pay for what was done to her," I told my BFF.
"Vengeance?" Thanatos asked.
Then I did look at her. "No. Justice," I said firmly.
"It is admirable as well as understandable for you to desire justice. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you-there is a distinct difference between wanting to gain revenge and exact vengeance, and wanting the truth to shine forth so that justice for all is ill uminated." Thanatos met my gaze. "I believe I can help give you the truth, so that you will be able to get justice for your mother and closure for yourself."
"What do you mean?"
"I spoke with your grandmother. Today is the fifth night after your mother's death. I explained to her that five is an important number in our belief system-it represents the elements and our closeness to them. She has agreed to pause her traditional cleansing on this, the fifth night. It is not a certainty, but with the elemental power held by your circle and your connection to the one whose death we seek to reveal, I believe I can ill uminate the truth of your mother's murder if you are willing to cast your circle and witness what it reveals."
"I'm willing." I felt sick, but I knew I had to go through with this.
"There is more," Thanatos said. She looked from me to Stevie Rae. "Zoey will cast the circle. I will be there to invoke the presence of death, but the spell that invokes death hinges upon you."
"Me?" Stevie Rae squeaked.
"It is your element in which this deed was imprinted. It is through your element the truth of it will be revealed." Thanatos's gaze sought out each member of my circle as she continued explaining. "This spell will not be pleasant. Zoey's mother was murdered. If we are successful, we will witness that horrendous act. You must each be willing participants, focused and aware of what it is you are agreeing to."
"I'm willing," Stevie Rae said immediately.
"Me, too ... Yep, I'm in ... I'm willing," came from Shaunee and Damien and Erin.
"Then it is decided. We leave as soon as first hour is over. If I call your name you will assemble in the parking lot and prepare yourself for the ritual and spell. If I do not call your name please proceed to your second-hour class. Your homework will be an essay on loss-and that homework will be due from those participating in the ritual as well as those of you who do not. The students joining me are: Zoey, Stevie Rae, Damien, Shaunee, Erin, and Aphrodite. The rest of you may begin working on your essays. Good day to you, and blessed be." Thanatos bowed formally to her classroom and then went to sit behind her desk.
My mouth flopped open. As Grandma would have said, this whole thing flummoxed me.
Aphrodite plopped down in the desk beside me and hissed a whisper. "Talk to Thanatos. Be sure she doesn't let Dragon go with us." She paused, tilted her head, and gawked at Stevie Rae and Rephaim, who totally had their heads together and were talking like a mile a minute.
"Unless I'm wrong-and I'm never wrong-she's gonna insist birdboy goes with us, which is no surprise because I can promise you Darius won't let me go without him. But having Rephaim with us means Dragon can't go or, according to my vision, he's gonna get sliced in two."
"Hell!" I said.
"Cursing?" Aphrodite said.
"No. It's a place. I didn't send anyone there," I said.
"Grow up," she said.
"Screw you," I said, succinctly.
Aphrodite laughed, which totally took the Big Girl sting from my almost-curse. I sighed and as the bell chimed, got out of my desk and walked slowly but resolutely up to Thanatos.
From her seat behind her desk Thanatos glanced up, but her eyes didn't go to me. Instead she glanced around me and called, "Aurox, a moment please."
Aurox had been leaving class, but he stopped and turned. "You want me, Priestess?"
"I want to give you an answer to your question."
"Uh, I'll wait outside so you two can-"
"There is no need for you to leave." Thanatos cut me off. "My answer is the same for whomever is asking the question."
"I do not understand," Aurox said.
Actually, neither did I. His question was "What am I?" How could there be only one answer for that question?
"I believe you will understand when you hear me out. The question of what we are can only be answered by ourselves. We each decide what we are by the life choices we make. How we were made, who are parents are, where we are from, the color of our skin, who we choose to love, all those things do not define us. Our actions define us, and will keep defining us until even after death." I saw surprise in Aurox's expression. "The past does not matter?"
"The past matters a great deal, especially if we don't learn from it. But the future need not be dictated by the past."
"I decide what I am?" He spoke slowly, as if he was working through a riddle.
"Yes."
"Thank you, Priestess."
"You are welcome and you may be excused now."
He fisted his hand over his heart and bowed deeply to her before leaving the room.
I was looking after him, still thinking about the surprise I'd seen in Aurox when Thanatos spoke to me. "Zoey, I know this ritual and the spell casting will be difficult for you, but I believe it will also give you closure."
"Yeah, me, too." Feeling a little like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar, I spoke quickly, my eyes turning to Thanatos. "I mean, I don't want to do it. I don't want to see what happened to Mom, but I figure I keep replaying it in my imagination anyway. The truth will at least stop my imagination."
"It will do that," she said.
"So, this ritual-who all will be there?"
"Those I named already. I would imagine your Guardian will accompany you, as will Aphrodite's Darius. And I will be there. follow your instincts, Zoey. Is there anyone else you request?"
Aurox's presence seemed to linger in the room with us and I shook my head. "No, I don't want to request anyone else. My circle and our Warriors are all that I need, but there is someone I don't want there." She raised her eyebrows and I continued. "Dragon Lankford. He hates Rephaim, and he's pretty much acting as Stevie Rae's Warrior, so he should be with her." I made a quick decision, Thanatos should know, and added, "Plus, yesterday Aphrodite had a vision that showed Dragon totally involved with Rephaim being skewered by a sword. I'd rather that didn't happen during my mom's reveal ritual."
"Dragon Lankford has been tasked with protecting this school and its students. If he allows, or takes part in, Rephaim being injured a great injustice will have been committed and he must be brought to task quickly and-"
"Wait, stop." I interrupted her. "I don't want this spell to be some kind of setup for Dragon to get in trouble. I don't want any of that drama to touch what's happened to my mom. Her murder is drama enough. Can't you just help me be sure Dragon's not there? We'll deal with his issues later." Thanatos bowed her head slightly. "You have a valid point, and you are right to remind me. Your mother's death is not the appropriate venue to test Dragon or to ill uminate his failings. I shal see that he does not accompany us."
"Thanks," I said.
"Thank me when the ritual and spell casting is over. I've found quite often that the dead reveal things that should have been kept hidden from the living."
And on that ominous note I left death's classroom and made my way to the parking lot and to a future none of us would have been able to predict.
Neferet
When the bell chimed to end first hour Neferet moved nonchalantly to the doorway of her classroom. Under the guise of saying good-bye to what was left of the class after Thanatos had culled it for her own special first hour, Neferet positioned herself so that she could watch the High Council member's students as they departed.
Dallas, now would be a lovely time to orchestrate another altercation.
No sooner had the thought formed in her mind then the young red vampyre himself moved into her view. He wasn't posturing or provoking.
Neferet frowned. He and his ragged group of compatriots were slinking from Thanatos's first hour as if they were dogs with their tails tucked between their legs.
Then Zoey's group, minus Zoey, she noted, hurried from class all moving in the same direction. The same direction? Most of them had different second-hour classes. No matter how sheep-like they were, they should not all be traveling together.
Aurox emerged and Neferet smiled.
As if he could feel her gaze the vessel looked her way.
"Come to me," she mouthed the words and gestured to her office. Neferet didn't wait to see if the vessel complied. She knew he would do as commanded.
"Yes, Priestess," he said, standing before her desk. "You called?"
"Did anything unusual happen first hour?"
"Unusual, Priestess?"
Neferet barely contained her irritation. Must he be so stupid? "Yes, unusual! I noticed Dall as and his group seemed unusually reserved, and many of the other students, those closest to Zoey Redbird, left together as if they had somewhere to go that was not their second-hour class."
"Your observation is correct, Priestess. Thanatos intends to oversee Zoey and her circle performing a ritual so that she may then cast a spell invoking death. Her intent is for Zoey to witness the truth of her mother's death and thereby to attain closure."
"What?" Neferet felt as if her mind was going to explode.
"Yes, Priestess. Thanatos is using Zoey as an example of how all fledglings and vampyres can overcome the loss of a parent." Neferet lifted her hand, palm out, and the threads of Darkness swarmed to her. Aurox took a step back, obviously uncomfortable with her tumultuous emotions. She made a conscious effort to control herself and the sticky tendrils quieted.
"Where is this spell casting taking place?"
"At the site of Zoey's mother's murder."
Through clenched teeth Neferet managed to say, "When? When is this happening?"
"They are gathering to leave now, Priestess."
"And you are quite certain Thanatos is accompanying them?"
"Yes, Priestess."
"May all the immortals be damned!" Neferet almost spat the curse. "A reveal ritual. It must be accompanied by the casting of a very specific spell ..." She drummed her pointed fingernails on her desk, thinking. "It would have to be earth-based, as it is within that specific plot of earth that the death would have been Imprinted. It is Stevie Rae then, and not Zoey who must be impeded." She turned her attention back to Aurox. "This is my command: you will thwart this ritual and the casting of the death spell. Do whatever you must to stop it, even if you must kill, although I do not want the death to be one of the Priestesses." She grimaced in annoyance. "Unfortunately, the price of a Priestess's death is too costly, especially as I don't have an equitable sacrifice to offer," she muttered, almost to herself. Then she caught the vessel's moonstone gaze with her own. "Do not kill a Priestess. I'd prefer no one realize you were there, but if you cannot stop the spell without giving yourself away, then do what you must. Your command is that the ritual and its spell work go awry, so that Thanatos cannot reveal the manner of Zoey's mother's death. Do you understand me?"
"I do, Priestess."
"Then get out of here and do as I command. If you are discovered do not expect me to rescue you. Expect me to forget we ever had this conversation."
When he simply stood there staring at her, she said, "What is it? Why are you not already obeying my orders?"
"I do not know where to go, Priestess. How do I reach the location of the ritual?" Neferet squelched the urge to smite him to his knees with Darkness. Instead she scribbled an address on a notepad, tore it off, and handed it to him. "Use the GPS as I've showed you before. This is the address. It couldn't be easier if I conjured you there." He bowed, clutching the paper. "As you command, Priestess," he said, leaving the room.
"And be careful they do not see you arriving!"
"Yes, Priestess," he said before closing the door behind him.
Neferet watched him go. "I wish he was smarter," she whispered to the dark tendrils that crawled up her arms and caressed her wrists. "Oh, but you are, aren't you? Go with him. Strengthen him. Watch him. Be quite sure he does not falter in obeying my simple commands. Then return and tell me everything." The tendrils hesitated. Neferet sighed and, with a quick flick of her forefinger, she sliced the inside of her bicep and ground her teeth as Darkness fed from her. Shortly, she waved them away and licked the shallow wound closed. "Go now. You've taken your payment. Do my bidding,"
The shadows slithered from her and Neferet, content, called for her assistant to bring her a glass of wine laced with blood.
"Find some virgin's blood this time," she snapped when the young vampyre answered her summons. "The other is simply too common, and I have a feeling a celebration will soon be in order."
"Yes, Priestess, as you command." The assistant bowed and scurried out.
"That is right." Neferet spoke aloud to the listening shadows. "All will be as I command. And someday soon they will not call me Priestess, but Goddess. Someday very soon..."
Neferet laughed.