United as One - Page 47/121

“What is this?”

“A map.”

“I see that.” I stare down at the fifty-odd locations scratched into the world map, then page through to find the same dots reproduced on more-detailed maps right down to the longitude and latitude.

“Six probably told you, I tapped into the Loralite stone at Niagara Falls. I could see them all. The stones, the new growths. It was beautiful, John. Like roots growing through the entire world. I can do that because of my melding with Legacy. It isn’t going to last, though. I’m beginning to feel my connection slipping away, my brain going back to normal. I’ll miss it but I won’t, you know? It makes me feel connected to the world but distant from people. Anyway, I’m rambling. Sorry.”

I shake my head at Ella’s burst of conversation, still paging through the atlas. “These are all active? A Garde could use any of these to teleport?”

“Yeah. You should give this to Mr. Government. He needs to get these sites secured. New Garde could be teleporting themselves into danger.” Ella pauses, still studying me. “Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

I frown at the idea of turning this information over to Lawson. Still, what other choice do I have? I can’t keep all the Garde safe on my own. I need to come to terms with that. I need to accept help, even if it’s coming from people I don’t really trust.

I close the atlas and put my hand on the front cover. World Atlas 1986. I trace my fingers over the embossed drawing of the earth.

“We really changed this place, didn’t we?”

“That’s our legacy,” Ella replies. “It won’t be a bad thing, if we can save it.”

“Is that a prophecy?” I ask. “Did you see the future?”

Ella looks away from me. “No. I’m making it a point to stop doing that.”

My immediate reaction is to think about all the strategic value we’d lose if Ella was to ignore her visions of the future. I lean forward, putting both my hands on the table in between us.

“Why would you do that?” I ask, keeping my voice neutral.

“Sometimes I don’t have a choice; a vision just comes to me,” Ella explains, choosing her words carefully. “Those are hard enough to deal with. But when I go looking for something, with all the variables, all the possible futures . . . it just complicates matters. Knowing a thing will happen, it inevitably changes the way we act, which changes the possibilities, which changes the future, which means there was no point looking ahead in the first place. Or, even worse, sometimes you know what’s coming and are still powerless to make a change. Never know which of those scenarios you’re stuck in until it’s too late.”

I think back to a conversation Ella and I had in her mind space. I asked her if she’d seen a version of the future where we come out victorious against the Mogs. She told me that she had, but that I wouldn’t like the cost. I assumed that she meant I would die in the battle—I wasn’t entirely comfortable with that idea at the time, but I’ve been warming up to it these last few hours.

Now, I’m not so sure that’s what she meant at all.

“Ella, did you know what would happen in Mexico? Did you know what would happen to Sarah?”

“Yes,” she replies.

My mouth gets dry.

“You—”

I stop myself. I don’t know what to say. My fists clench and unclench. Heat rises through my fingers, and I realize I’m close to firing up my Lumen. I take a deep and shaky breath, glaring at Ella.

The rational side of me knows there’s nothing to be done now. That cold part of me, the part that’s been in charge since Sarah died, wants to stay on mission. But another part of me wants to scream with incoherent rage at the unfairness of it all.

She could’ve warned me! I think. She could’ve told me, and I could’ve done something! Better yet, she could’ve warned Sarah!

I told them to run. Ella’s voice rings out clear in my head. She must be reading my thoughts. Even though I knew they wouldn’t, I tried to convince them. And, John, would you have wanted that decision hanging over you? Would you have wanted to choose between Sarah and winning this war?

I would’ve found another way, I reply, grinding my teeth.

Of course you would have. Her voice sounds cutting, even in my mind. There are infinite ways! Maybe you’d have saved Sarah at the cost of someone else. Or maybe you’d just kick her death down the road, like what happened with Eight and his prophecy. That’s my point, John. That’s why looking at the future is no good. You know, I thought I had to die for our friends to survive the battle at the Sanctuary. I threw myself into the Loric energy thinking that would be it, but . . . I hadn’t seen all the possibilities. It’ll drive you insane trying to sort through all those possibilities, all that second-guessing.