"It's what I'm made to do now," I finally answered Kieran, pulling my mind back to the conversation.
Kieran looked at me closely, obviously trying to gauge how I was feeling, but I deflected her attempt without an effort. I was not ready for anyone to know the rollercoaster ride my emotions were on as I sorted through my new priorities.
"Is Haniel around?" I asked, changing the subject before she could pry any further.
"I haven't seen him this morning. Do you need him for something?"
"Yeah, I have something I need to run by him. I guess I can always page him," I said, shooting her a smile. My mind sent the message before the words could even leave my lips and within seconds, Haniel was striding through the woods toward our campsite.
"Did you require my assistance?" He asked, stopping in front of me.
"I was hoping we could go for a walk and talk," I said, making my point clear. My friends had stopped all their morning rituals at Haniel's appearance and were all studying me intently. It became abundantly clear by their expressions that my nightmare the night before had woken more than just my friends in our tent. By the looks they were shooting my way, it was obvious they were expecting some kind of nervous breakdown from me.
"I'm fine guys," I said, trying to reassure them. "I just need to iron some stuff out with Haniel."
My words seemed to ease their stress a little, but I could still feel their stares boring into my backside as Haniel and I left the campsite behind.
Instead of walking up toward the stream like the previous day, Haniel and I walked down the mountain until we hit another small clearing not too far from camp. The clearing was empty except for a lone boulder that was roughly the size of one of the cute Mini Cooper cars I loved. The boulder was smack-dab in the middle of the clearing and was covered with a soft blanket of moss that begged you to sit down. I scrambled up the side of the boulder and perched myself on the flattest spot I could find. The height of the boulder allowed me to make eye contact with Haniel from where I sat, which I felt was crucial for what I had to say.
Haniel's face was a blank slate and he watched me without saying a word. His blue eyes turned guarded as I finally turned to him.
"Sooooo," I said, dragging out the word. "I guess you could say things are starting to look a little clearer for me today. For months now, in the back of my mind, I've held on to the fantasy that Mark allowed his father to alter his feelings to protect me. I thought all he would need to do is see me again and I would be able to help him find his way back, but I've come to realize that even if that proved to be true, our relationship will never be the same again." I said in a rush, trying to get all the words out before he could interject. "Because, I'm no longer a Guide, right?" I asked.
Haniel nodded his head, letting me continue.
"And Mark is no longer my Protector, right?"
"That is correct."
"If Mark can be saved, will his soul link with another Guide?" I asked, ignoring the phantom hand that seemed to grip my heart.
"Your link was severed when Mark left with his father, eliminating what you were both created for in that instant. Mark is no longer a Protector; therefore, his soul will not link with any other Guide."
"If I have become some mystical Ascended being, what has Mark become?" I asked, finally getting to the root of my questions.
"That is yet to be determined. The Dark One has cloaked Victor and Mark well, leaving us unable to know their futures."
"So, if Mark can be saved, he will be something else like me?" I probed.
"Yes."
"And that something could be very bad if we are unable to save him, right?"
"That is correct."
"So, in order to help the outcome tonight, I have to come with you." Haniel tried to reply, but I held up my hand. "Wait, let me finish. I understand why you and The Light may have felt cautious before. You were concerned that my feelings could jeopardize the lives of all the Links, I get that. But Haniel, this has become more important than just Mark and me. If Victor really has become what you say he is, I can't let my friends risk their lives in that kind of danger without me. I could never live with that, and you can't expect me to. If I have become an Ascended, they need me there," I said, finally laying all my cards out on the table.
Haniel studied me appraisingly for a moment before answering. "You may accompany us," he said decidedly.
I thought I misunderstood him at first, ready to pitch a fit if need be. His sudden consent threw me off, I had an entire second part to my speech all prepared about "how I could help save the lives of the Links while he dealt with Victor." I never expected him to cave so easily.
"I can?" I asked in disbelief.
"Krista, The Light has just been waiting for you to embrace your new role in this earthly realm. Your acceptance to whom and what you are was something you had to handle on your own. The Light knew if he allowed you to join the battle before you acknowledged who you are, the repercussions would have been disastrous."
"Why?" I asked.
"The Light believes that Victor would use your love for Mark against you if you went in there denying what you truly are."
"Haniel, if Mark wouldn't have gone with his father, would I have still changed into what I am now?"
"Not in the sense you are asking. You were special, even as a Guide, and your powers exceeded the others, but you would have remained a Guide if Mark hadn't left you," he said, sidestepping what I was truly asking.
"What I mean is, did The Light make Mark leave me so I could ascend?" I asked.
"Krista, The Light does not make individuals do anything. Remember when we discussed freewill?"
I nodded my head.
"Your freewill gives you the power to choose your destiny. Some things were written centuries ago. I cannot truthfully tell you if this was your destiny all along. I have not sought out the answer from The Light. I do not think knowing the truth will help you. You ascended because you survived where others have not. Always remember, you are not being punished, ascending is the greatest gift The Light could bestow on any soul."
I pondered his words for a few minutes. For years, Mark's presence in my dreams had given me peace and a sense of rightfulness. When those dreams turned to reality, my feelings increased tenfold. My heartbreak over losing him was crippling, but I wouldn't trade the moments I had with him for anything.
"So, this may have been our destiny all along?"
He nodded his head.
"Okay," I said, climbing off the boulder. "I still want to save him even if he no longer belongs to me. Not to mention the missing Links, taken from our band so long ago," I added.
Haniel nodded his head and together we worked out a strategy for the upcoming night. An hour later, we had a solid plan in place.
"We should convene with the others so we can help them prepare," Haniel finally said after we had exhausted every detail possible.
"Sounds good," I agreed as I brushed the debris off my bottom from my makeshift seat.
Haniel and I arrived back at the campsite and saw that the guys had been busy taking all the tents down and packing our gear. They had taken the oversized tarp that our tents had sat on and strung it over the fire pit, creating a shelter for all of us. I looked up at the sky and noticed it had become even more ominous while Haniel and I had been chatting.
"Everything okay Krista?" Lynn asked as I joined her and the others under our temporary shelter.
"Yeah, Haniel and I were just ironing out the details for tonight. He has agreed to let me come with you guys."
"What?" Shawn asked, shifting into his big brother role. "I thought we all agreed it would be too dangerous for her to join us," he said, drilling Haniel with a glare as if I wasn't there.
"Hey, I'm standing right here, Shawn. You can direct your questions to me," I said, using a voice of authority that suddenly seemed second nature to me.
I could tell by the shifting and sudden change in the emotions around me that my friends could clearly see a difference in me. By accepting the role as an Ascended, I had left the status of Guide behind and changed my Heavenly ranking. I could feel the difference and knew without a shadow of a doubt I had been created to lead the individuals in front of me.
"Okay then, so what's the new plan?" Shawn asked with all traces of anger gone.
I glanced at Haniel. He nodded his head, giving me his approval to continue my new leadership role.
"We'll proceed as originally planned with one exception. Now we'll split off into two groups. Jaime, Paul, Jenna, Keith, Lynn and Robert will go with Haniel. The rest of you will be with me. Haniel and I believe that the majority of the Daemons will be protecting the two Links Victor has kept hostage. Our plan is simple enough. Get in, grab them, and get out. Haniel says the Daemons Victor is using this time are the real deal. They'll no longer be using humans as hosts, so they may be harder to defeat."
"How do we do that?" Robert interrupted. "Are they like ghosts or something?"
I turned to Haniel so he could answer Robert's question.
"No, they will have substance to them; however, they will not resemble anything you have ever seen before. Their outward appearance to an angel is appalling and grotesque. They come in all shapes and sizes, just as humans, but that is their only similarity. Daemons will use any means necessary to bring you down, they will try to gauge out your eyes, bite through your flesh and use their claws to rip through your skin. They will sneak up on you and attack when you least expect it. Your Guides will use their skills to pinpoint the Daemon's locations for you; however, this is far more difficult when there are multiple Daemons in the vicinity."
The panicked looks on my friends' faces was evident as they digested Haniel's somber words.
"That's why we're splitting up," I said, trying to reassure them. "My powers will help deflect the worst of the attack towards my group, same goes for those of you that will be going with Haniel. The difference will be that your group will 'destroy and conquer,' while mine will be on more of a 'rescue mission.'
"How come Victor doesn't need to use human hosts anymore to carry out his dirty deeds?" John asked, standing behind Kieran with his hands on her shoulders.
"The Light believes that Victor has offered The Dark One something he deeply desires?"
"And what is that?" Sam asked.
"A part of a broken link," Haniel said quietly.
I kept my face impassive as all of my friends looked at me horrified. "Yes, they believe Mark has also Ascended or I guess you could call it Descended," I said, looking at Haniel for confirmation.
He nodded his head in agreement.
"So, you think Victor has promised Mark to The Dark One? Why doesn't he just create his own Descended spawn?" Sam asked, clearly disgusted.
"Even The Dark One does not have such abilities. The Protector-Guide link, and subsequent Ascension for some, is an ancestral inheritance from one generation of Links to the next, not something that The Dark One can emulate. Control of a Descended soul would be a valuable treasure," Haniel explained.
"Why doesn't he just use Victor?" Kim asked in her usual soft voice.
"Victor has his own agenda which is a possible explanation as to why he did not have complete support from The Dark One when he originally kidnapped Krista and Mark. The Dark One demands complete loyalty, without freewill. Had Victor already offered himself as a Descended to the The Dark One, Krista would not be standing here today."
"I wonder why Victor would do that," Sam mused.
"Do you not know the answer?" Haniel asked looking at her intensely.
"Because Victor wants to be his own boss," I answered. "He doesn't want to have to answer to anyone, not The Light or The Dark One. He is selfish and offered up his own flesh and blood so he could continue to prosper."
"Krista is correct," Haniel said.
"So, while Krista is leading us in to rescue our missing Links, you will be destroying Victor and his Descended?" Shawn asked, carefully skirting around using Mark's name.
"That would be correct." Haniel said without hesitation.
Sam came over to stand next to me. She placed her arm around my shoulder, offering moral support at Haniel's words.
"I'm okay," I said. I hope he can be saved, even if we aren't Links anymore.
"What?" Robert asked, clearly confused.
"Our Link was broken the moment Mark sealed his soul from mine," I said looking at Haniel for confirmation.
Once again being of little words, he merely nodded his head.
"So, all hope is lost?" Sam asked as her shoulders slumped.
"One can always hope, Sam. That is the privilege that all those in the earthly realm are given. Hope is a powerful emotion that should never be given up on," Haniel affirmed.
"Well, I don't believe it," Sam replied stubbornly.
"Sam, even if Mark isn't a Descended, our Link is gone. We no longer belong to each other."
Sam's eyes filled with tears at my words, but I kept the wall I had erected around my heart firmly in place. "It's fine guys. I've accepted my responsibilities as an Ascended and that's what matters now. It's my job to get us in there and rescue who we can," I said, addressing the group as one.
My words seemed to open the flood gates and for the next hour we discussed strategies. I could tell my Band still wasn't overly crazy about my part in the whole mission, but I stoically ignored their exchanged looks of concern.
By lunchtime we were famished, but at least we had a solid plan in place. Kieran and Jenna made a mountain of sandwiches out of the last of the bread and supplies. I loaded up my plate with chips and one of the thick sandwiches, before I settled on one of the logs. I balanced the plate on my knees just as the first snowflakes began to fall.
Glancing up at the sky beyond our protective tent, I could see that the heavy clouds had moved in over us and were rapidly dropping oversized snowflakes. The temperature drop from the night before made it so that flakes began to stack up on each other instead of melting, blanketing the area around us. I couldn't help wondering whether this was a gift from The Light or a curse from The Dark One. I could see the perks of leading our attacks that night when Victor might have his defenses down, although a frozen snow covered mountain would prove difficult for escape if the battle took a turn for the worse.
The conversations around me dwindled down as we finished our lunches, keeping our eyes on the snow that continued to fall. Each flake was roughly the size of a cotton ball making it tough to see much beyond our temporary shelter. The others did not voice their concern, but I could feel their mixed emotions rolling through the camp. Taking my new role to heart, I tampered their mixed emotions back easily and filtered them instead with courage and peace. The task was as easy as breathing to me and it felt second nature to do it.