"I don't know how it works, I just know I can do it now," I said simply, looking up as Haniel strode purposefully through the clearing. The others poured out of the woods as one and stood in a loose circle around us.
Without a word, Haniel knelt beside me and placed his hands over mine, giving me a nod. With awareness like I had never experienced, I knew exactly what he was silently asking. I removed my hands from John's gaping wounds and pulled Kieran to the shallow water's edge with me. She came with me willingly, knowing that at the moment John was literally in the best hands possible.
"I don't understand," she said more confused than ever as we kneeled on the pebble strewn ground.
"We'll explain later," I said, giving her a sideways hug of reassurance, feeling like the adult. My encounter with the bear had opened my eyes and I now understood my hybrid status completely. In the span of the two minutes during and after John's attack, my understanding was now clear.
"What if he dies?" Kieran whispered, changing the subject.
"He won't, I promise."
"Kieran, John's asking for you," Jenna said, kneeling beside us.
Kieran whipped around, surging to her feet in one fluid movement.
I stayed at the water's edge, washing all traces of John's blood away. I felt Haniel's presence without having to turn around.
"You understand now?" He asked frankly, placing his hands in the water next to mine.
"Yes," I said, turning toward my friends so I could check on John. I was surprised to see that my friends were already assisting him from the small clearing. Paul and Jacob had his arms around their shoulders, helping him navigate the uneven ground.
"Will he be okay?" I asked, watching them disappear from sight.
"Yes, although his body will need to recuperate from the trauma he suffered. He would have perished if not for you."
"I didn't do anything but call you," I said.
"Yes, you used your Gifts to summon an Archangel."
"Do you mean I could have paged a different Archangel?" I asked skeptically.
"Paged?" he questioned before answering me, filing the new word into his ever expanding human lingo base. "Yes, you have been gifted with the power to contact any angelic being in the Heavenly Realm."
"Any?"
"Yes."
"Wow that's insane," I said, squatting down on my heels. "Where were you when I sent you the message?" I asked.
"I was in the presence of The Light."
"Whoa, that's crazy. Did The Light give you permission to heal him?" I asked curiously.
"No, those decisions are mine alone."
"Then why didn't you heal the others after Victor's last attack," I asked reproachfully.
"I cannot heal a demon attack Krista. If so, I would have done so many years ago," he said with more passion than I had ever heard him use.
His passion and strange exhibition of emotion rendered me speechless. I leaned back on my hands, reclining backwards as I digested his words. He had always carried himself so regally and standoffish that it was unnerving to think that he had once lost someone he had cared about.
"Who?" I asked bluntly after several minutes passed.
He turned to look at me with penetrating blue eyes that bore through me. Just when I thought he was going to ignore my question, he finally sighed heavily. "One of your kind. She is someone who once belonged to another. It is wrong for me to exhibit feelings for her."
"Why? Is she still with the other person?"
"No, that bond was broken many earth cycles ago. It is wrong because I was not created to feel human emotions."
"That's crazy. You're supposed to exist all these years without ever feeling something for someone else?" I asked indigently, mad at the injustice of it.
"It is my place Krista."
"Place smace," I grumbled. "So, what happened to the Guide you were in love with?" I continued, not wanting him to stray far from the subject at hand.
"How do you know it is love?" He asked earnestly, seeking an answer that even with his infinite wisdom seemed to elude him.
"Because of the way you talk about her. Usually, you're so stiff—no offense, but for the briefest of moments, you seemed almost normal," I gently teased.
"I cannot be certain that what I feel for her is love. I was not created to recognize such feelings."
"Do you think of her at least once an earth day?"
He nodded slightly.
"More than once a day?" I persisted.
Once again he nodded in acknowledgement.
"Do you yearn to be near her?" I continued.
This time his nod was more pronounced.
"Wow Haniel, does she know how you feel?"
"I have not spoken to her in the Heavenly Realm since her light joined us."
"What?" I asked astonished. "She's in heaven? For how long?"
"Over sixteen earth years," he said, looking at me expectantly.
I gasped. Is he saying what I think he is? I thought.
"You mean she was one of Victor's victims?" I asked, realizing he was talking about one of our moms. How heartbreaking for Haniel, to be in love with someone who was linked with another.
"Her Link was severed," he said, picking my thoughts from my head. "Her soul is now free to choose."
"Her Link was cut?" I asked, digesting his words and their true meaning. I knew my link with Mark had been cut also, but I had never considered the fact that my soul was now free to pick someone else. The thought made me slightly nauseous.
"Yes, Victor broke her heart before he silenced her earth life."
"Oh my God, it was Mark's mom?" I said with sudden tears welling up in my eyes.
He nodded his head, not bothering to answer.
"Holy Crow Bear Haniel, you love Mark's mom," I said relishing the words. Just because my love life was in shambles didn't mean I wasn't still a diehard romantic. "Does she know?"
"I am unsure of love. How would one know such things?" He asked, clearly confused. His uncharacteristic vulnerability touched me like nothing else had in a long time.
I reached over and grasped his hands and was taken aback, reading a mix of swirling emotions that were obviously foreign to an Archangel. "You could tell her." I said earnestly. "Is she in some part of Heaven that you're not allowed to enter?"
He flashed a rare smile at my Heavenly ignorance. "Krista, Heaven is not sectioned into classes like Earth. It is a paradise for all the souls that reside there."
"Then why have you waited so long to talk to her?"
"I felt she was entitled to grieve her loss," he said, clearly searching for an excuse.
"That's reasonable for the first year, but sixteen?" I said sarcastically. "I mean seriously, for an imposing Archangel, you sure can be a wimp," I teased.
"Coming from a mere Guide, I do not take that as an insult," he teased which shocked the heck out of me.
"Was that good old human sarcasm?" I asked, laughing hysterically.
"Was that not an appropriate time?"
"Heck yeah it was, but The Light's not going to let you keep hanging out with me if I'm corrupting you," I said, still laughing.
He shot me another rare smile. "You are similar to her in many ways you know," he said.
"I am?" I asked, all laughter gone as I got a rare insight into Mark's mom.
"Yes. She was filled with light, just as you are. Always quick to smile and laugh, but could get… sassy, as you call it," he continued, trying out the new word I had taught him a couple days ago.
"Hey, I'm not sassy," I said smirking at him. "What else was she like?"
My question sparked a floodgate of enthusiasm from Haniel. Suddenly, he began to talk non-stop about Mark's mom in a tone more animated than I had ever heard from him. For the first time ever, I forgot that he was some mystical being that had been mingling between the earthly and heavenly realms for centuries. Seeing an Archangel talk about something with such passion was an experience in itself. His very essence sparkled like a diamond and the pure joy radiating off him was overwhelmingly contagious. His love was tangible and I drank it in like a tonic, awakening the section of my heart that had been numb for so long. There was none of the lost and lonely feelings of jealousy I seemed to feel around my friends lately. Instead, I was somehow inspired and completely drawn in by Haniel's display of affection.
Chapter 8
"We better join the others," he finally said, looking at the setting sun.
"Wow, what time is it?" I asked, glancing at my watch. "Oh my gosh, it's almost five o'clock," I said, shocked that we had been talking for hours. I felt guilty for leaving my friends for so long. I hadn't thought about poor John once the entire afternoon.
"He is well," Haniel said, picking the words from my head.
"Okay good. I still feel bad though. I should've been back at the camp helping out."
"Your help was unnecessary. They have been busy strategizing tomorrow's attack on Victor's compound."
Suddenly I was irritated. Had Haniel betrayed me by deliberately keeping me away from the others the entire afternoon?
"Krista, I do not use ploys," Haniel said quietly. "Today was rare for me. If anyone neglected their duties, it was I. I allowed myself to interact like a human, forgetting my responsibilities."
"Haniel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm glad we talked today. Acting human is okay, believe me," I said, feeling ashamed of myself. Haniel had opened up and I corrupted it with my own selfishness.
"I understand your frustrations Krista, but you must understand, 'The Light' only wishes to protect you."
"Why did he let me come then?"
"Your Gifts were necessary to protect the others."
"So, I'm like some kind of shield now?" I asked sarcastically.
"Yes," he answered, not bothering to sugarcoat it. "Would you have preferred to let your Band handle the situation themselves?" He continued, making his point clear.
"No," I answered quietly. Without me, my friends would have died the previous night, and even if they had somehow survived the bug swarm, John would have surly died from the bear attack.
We walked the rest of the distance in silence as the responsibility of my Band members settled on my shoulders. We were just about back to the campsite when I finally asked the question that had been bugging me. "If I'm supposed to protect them then why am I being excluded from the rescue mission?"
"The Light is unsure of the situation surrounding Victor's compound. The Dark One has shrouded the entire site in darkness and The Light does not want to risk your life when we go in blind."
"So, my friends and family are indispensible?" I asked indigently.
"Not indispensible, but their lives are less precious than yours," he said in his normal spare-no-feelings kind of way.
"That's ridiculous," I said, stomping ahead of him.
My sour mood lasted only about as long as it took to arrive back at the camp. Seeing my friends sitting around chatting warmed my heart, especially John and Kieran who were lost in each other's arms on the far side of the campsite.
"How's he doing?" I asked Shawn and Sam as I sat down next to them on one of the rough logs.
"Much better. You'd never guess he was mauled by a frikin bear earlier," Sam said, not even bothering to hide her awe.
"So now you can walkie-talkie with Archangels too?" Shawn teased, nudging me.
"Yeah, I guess so. It's more like a paging thing. I just called for him in my mind and I knew he was on his way."
"That's freaking awesome Sis."
I shrugged my shoulders, trying to be blasé, but I had a hard time keeping a straight face.
"Nice try, but even you can't deny it's way cool," Sam said, laughing at my attempt.
"It is pretty cool, and it did help today," I said, looking at John meaningfully. "So, Haniel said you guys are heading in tomorrow night," I said, changing the subject.
"That's the plan. Haniel will accompany us once we hit the base of Victor's lair."
"I wonder what his plan is for me," I speculated.
"You're supposed to head back to the cars. That's our rendezvous point in case anything goes wrong," Shawn said.
I nodded my head. It made sense. "What about the campsite?"
"Once everything is over, we'll hike back up here to break it all down if we're still alive," Shawn said.
His words hit me like a truck. It was insane to think that by the time tomorrow night ended, I could be all alone.
The injustice of the whole situation made me so angry. It wasn't supposed to be this way. What good are my so-called gifts to my friends if they're going in alone? I thought with a burning rage that consumed every available piece of my soul. First, Victor takes Mark, and now my friends may lose their lives also? How am I supposed to continue living if that happens? My hands began to shake uncontrollably and all I could see were blurred images.
"Krista, can you hear me, what is it?" I could hear the faint sound of Sam's voice and felt my brother's hand on my arm. "Ow, damn!" He jerked away as I was finally brought back to consciousness from Shawn yelping in pain from the blazing touch of my rage infused skin.
And just like that, the fire was gone. As quickly as it had engulfed me, I was able to snuff it out.
"Damn Krista. What the Hell was that?" Shawn asked, cradling his sore hand.
I didn't answer him, but instead turned to Haniel who was studying me intently.
"Another side effect of my hybrid status?" I asked confused. He simply nodded without saying a word.
"That was bad ass," Shawn said, still shaking his hand.
"Sorry about that. What did it feel like?" I asked curiously.
"Like I had been burned by an iron, but look, you left no mark," he said, holding his hand up for me to inspect.
I stepped closer, reaching out to grab his palm. My feelings were hurt when he stepped back away from me. "I have it under control. I won't hurt you again," I said quietly.
"Sorry, it's just reflexes," he said, ruffling my hair. "What was all that about?" he asked, directing the question to Haniel.
"Krista's body is rapidly changing to accommodate her new gifts. Her emotions are now expressed differently than others."