At Dad’s question, I tuck myself tighter against the wall, because Evan is taking up the whole seat, and I can’t focus while his body is brushing against mine.
“Normal stuff,” Sage says as his eyes move between Evan and me. His shoulder bumps Dad’s and his eyes light with mischief.
“Don’t they make a cute couple?” He grins, and I narrow my eyes on him at the same time I feel Evan’s body still.
“Don’t be a pain,” Dad mutters, but his eyes move between the two of us, and I wonder what he’s thinking about, because his eyes change ever so slightly.
“I’m gonna go order. We should eat on the road so we’re not late,” Evan says to Sage, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding before saying goodbye to both of them as they leave me and my dad sitting in the booth.
“Evan’s a good guy. Your cousins like him,” Dad adds, but I don’t acknowledge his statement. Instead, I dip another onion ring into my ranch then shove it into my mouth, chewing slowly. I need to do something about Evan. Obviously, things are not going to be as easy as avoiding him forever. He works for my cousin, lives in the same town as I do, and is somehow friends with my sister July’s husband’s biker friends. His life and mine have intertwined.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Dad asks, bringing me out of my thoughts, and I scramble for something to say.
“Do you think we can stop at Minx before we head back to my house?” I ask when I swallow, and his eyes narrow. “I’m guessing that’s a no,” I grumble under my breath while fighting my smile.
“Ask your mom.”
“’Cause she loves me more?” His lips twitch, but he doesn’t reply. My dad hates shopping, so his response is not a surprise. “I’ll ask mom,” I agree then pick up my burger and take a bite.
Looking through the window next to the door, I watch Jax and Evan talk next to the front of Evan’s truck. I don’t know what they’re talking about, but whatever it is has both of them laughing. Moving away, I go down the hall to my room and grab one of my sweaters from the closet, admiring my new curtains and lamps on the way through my room.
Instead of my dad bringing me home after lunch, we went back to my parents’ house, so my mom and I could take her Suburban to Minx, where I found two very cool amber glass lamps with shades the color of cork, along with silvery grey curtains. When my mom and I arrived at my house, Jax was here for “June duty.” I don’t think it’s necessary for anyone to watch me. Lane is awaiting trial, and I wasn’t a witness to anything he had done. My family, on the other hand, obviously doesn’t agree with me on the matter. Since Jax was at the house anyway, Mom and I put him to work, hanging the curtain rods and curtains. Not long after he was done, my mom took off, and Jax stayed and had a beer then went out to talk to Evan once he showed up.
Moving back toward the window, I see Jax pat Evan’s shoulder then head for his car. Debating with myself, the same way I have done all day, I give up and walk to the front door and swing it open as Jax turns at the stop sign at the end of my block. Watching him drive out of sight, I turn my gaze to Evan and find his eyes already on me.
“Umm…” I murmur, wondering, What the hell am I thinking?
“You okay?” he asks, taking a few steps toward the house, but stopping halfway across the lawn.
Fuckity, fuck, fuck.
“I…I’m fine. I was…” Jesus, my stomach is in knots and I feel like I’m going to be sick. This was a bad idea. “Can we talk?” I ask after a moment, and I watch his eyes shutter as he nods once and heads toward me. Stepping back so he can enter the house, I lead him down the hall to the living room. “Would you like a beer?”
“I’m good,” he replies, stopping in the middle of the room, and I look around as he does. My entertainment center is one my parents had. It’s black with doors on the bottom and sides and has a shelf above, with a space for the TV in the middle. The sectional up against the opposite wall is big enough to fit my entire family. The standing lamp on the far side of the wall is perfect for reading, since the shade is directly over the side of the couch with the footrest. I haven’t put up any of my pictures, so everything is bare.
“Do you want to sit?” I ask, taking a seat on the edge of the couch clasping my hands in front of me.
He looks at me for a long time—so long that I start to feel uncomfortable—then wanders across the room and takes a seat on the end of the sectional, facing me. His presence is so big that even from where he’s sitting across the room, it feels like he takes up the whole space. Worse, I can’t read his expression, so I have no idea what he’s thinking.
“What did you want to talk about?” he asks, studying me.
“I feel…” I pause to take a breath and get my thoughts in order, because I have no idea what exactly it is I want to say to him. “You…” I cut myself off again, covering my face with my hands. “This was stupid. I don’t know what I’m doing.” I uncover my face and look at him. “Sorry, you can go,” I whisper while standing then head for the hall toward the door.
“I’m sorry.” At his words, my body locks and tears creep up my throat. “I wasn’t…I’m not good enough for you.” Pressing my lips together, I fight the pain in my chest then turn to look at him when I have it locked away.